My mother made me remove that malicious post about a certain hotel in Duluth.

There are a couple of really, really important events going on this weekend. Unfortunately I won't be attending either of them because (last I checked) they're still charging admission to get on airplanes.

The first, of course, is U.S.A. v. Mexico in Columbus, Ohio. There are several carloads of folks from the Twin Cities making the trek. It will undoubtedly be an outrageous and ridiculously fun journey.

The U.S. is seeking revenge for its Easter Sunday 2-1 defeat in Mexico City. It was only the second time in the last nine matches that the Mexicans managed to defeat the Americans. But historically Mexico still owns a massive advantage: 29-11-10. There's all kinds of great stuff over at the U.S. Soccer site, including a sweet podcast about the "La Guerra Fria" match from four years ago.

Us losers who can't make it out to Columbus will be gathering at The Local in the Twin Cities to watch the match. Kickoff is 6:30 p.m. CST on ESPN Classic.

The other notable event of the weekend is the first annual DisGraceland Ball. My pal David will be slaughtering a pig on his slab of land outside State College, Pennsylvania and serving it up to anyone who bangs on his door. The reasons for this gathering still elude me, but I'm certain that it will be one of the great events of the 21st century. Email me if you need directions