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You will not be seeing me for a long time. Maybe not until spring. Which is good news, at least for me. Because if I'm not around then you can't breathe on me. And if you can't breathe on me then I can't contract the bird flu. And if I can't contract the bird flu then I won't suffocate to death. (Or at least it becomes much less likely that I will suffocate to death.)
I've been reading Mike Davis' book, The Monster at Our Door: The Global Threat of Avian Flu. Someone please alert me when it's safe to come back outside. Until then I'll be watching TV.
Last weekend I went to Dallas and ate cheese. Cheese nachos. Cheese quesadillas. Shredded cheese. Bacon, egg, and cheese burritos. Cheese enchiladas. The best cheese products were consumed at Joe T. Garcia's, the biggest restaurant I have ever visited. I didn't shit for four days.
I also attended the MLS Cup in Dallas. Or Frisco, to be exact, about 40 miles north of Dallas. Have you ever seen Dallas from a DC-9 at night? Me neither. I cheered for the L.A. Galaxy because their awesomely retarded fans gave me tequila before the game. My allegiance is easily bought.
I just wrote a song. It's called "180 Channels". Feel free to record it:
Food network, TNT, FX, MTVBravo, IFC, ESPN, AMC
180 channels, I'll never leave home again
180 channels, I'm not gonna die of no bird flueFox Soccer, Gol TV, Fox News, CNBC
Spike, Soap, Speed, Toon, Lifetime, Fuse, Boom180 channels, I'll never leave home again
180 channels, I'm not gonna die of no bird flueSundance, Biography, VH1, History
FX, AMC, TBS, BBC180 channels, I'll never leave home again
180 channels, I'm not gonna die of no bird flue
Posted by Paul Demko at November 18, 2005 1:42 PM
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