The World Cup final just made me depressed. Penalty kicks can not be allowed to decide the greatest sporting event in the world. The teams should be forced to keep playing until someone scores. If you tell those fuckers that they can't leave the field until someone, somehow puts the ball in the back of the net they will find a way to do so.

The problem with penalty kicks is not only that they have absolutely nothing to do with the dynamics of a soccer game. It's also that the prospect of penality kicks completely changes how teams play. Italy--knowing that they have the best goalkeeper in the world (or at least one that's exponentially better than that jackass that the French keep putting between the posts)--can sit back throughout the two overtimes and kill off the game. There's no incentive to attack, no desperation. If they understood that they were going to have to run around that pitch all bloody night until someone, somehow scored I guarantee their approach would be markedly different.

Of course this will never happen. I understand that. But some alternative to penalty kicks is needed. Here's my proposal: Make the bastards play again the next day. Or the next weekend. Another 90 minutes on the same field with the same players. And if it's still tied after 240 minutes they have to do it again the next day. Eventually, one side will prevail.