November 2005

"The Only Endorsement That Counts"

After a horrific night on the Streets of Pizza that entailed poor tips, rude and/or clueless customers and ridiculous traffic situations, I decided to attend Mayor RT Rybak's post-election shindig at the Ukrainian Event Center in Northeast.
I thought, why the Hell not? I'm a member of media, I endorsed RT, I threw my weight around for the guy. I should, at least, get some deli-tray action out of it, right?

So I trekked over to Nordeast.

I arrived late and a little underdressed.
I walked in the the Ukrainian Center and surveyed the scene. A bunch of politicos, volunteers and other community minded citizens filled the room.
I hardly knew anyone, save for fellow CPer's Britt Robson and GR Anderson.

I walked around, eavesdropped on conversations, shook hands with my new councilman Ralph Remington and took in the ridiculousness of the situation.
I mean, c'mon, I'm a fucking Pizzaman and there I was, definitely out of my element and feeling like a turd in a punchbowl.
Usually on a Tuesday night like this, I'd either be on the Streets or at home, hanging around in my underwear in my shitty basement apartment downloading old John Prine songs or something.
But there I was in the middle of this weird circus.

After awhile, I sidled up to GR Anderson and asked how it was going.
"Kind of dull, I've got everything I need, let's get out of here" he said and proposed we hit a local bar where some friends of ours were hanging out.
"I've still got to talk to the Mayor, though" GR said, spotting the Mayor walking through the crowd. "Hold on".
GR glided through the crowd and approached the Mayor.
RT was smiling, shaking hands and talking everybody up. Everyone wanted a piece of him.
I watched as GR, a seasoned local political reporter, started talking to the Mayor. RT waved his hands and I heard him say "I'll talk to you some other time". They parted ways and the Mayor started heading toward me. As he got closer I thought I should say congratulations and mention that I had endorsed him on my blog.
I figured, at best, some staffer may have alerted him to my endorsement and he'd think it was funny.

I walked up to RT, shook his hand and, with the most machismo I could muster, said "Pizzaman, City Pages".

His face lit up like a winning slot machine at Mystic Lake.

"YOU'RE THE PIZZAMAN?! REALLY? HOLY COW! I SAW YOUR ENDORSEMENT! WOW! THAT WAS GREAT! C'MON..."
He then grabbed me by the arm and we headed, almost running, toward the front door.
"Megan! Megan!" he shouted at a woman standing near the front door, "Where are the kids? THIS IS THE PIZZAMAN!"
The woman's face brightened.
"YOU'RE THE PIZZAMAN?!" she exclaimed.
"That's right, I'm the Pizzaman" I replied as calmly as I could.
RT introduced me to the woman, his wife, Megan O'Hara.
I was totally thrown off by the attention. I am, after all, just some dirtbag that drives around the city in a crappy car delivering pizza for chrissakes and here I am being led around by the Mayor of the city I love more than any other city on the planet.

"Where are the kids?" RT asked his wife.
"I think they're outside. I'm so glad to meet you Pizzaman! We saw your endorsement!"
RT then hurriedly ushered me out the door.
"THIS IS THE PIZZAMAN!!" he said to two other people.
"YOU'RE THE PIZZAMAN?!" they said.
"Yup, that's right"

Finally, RT spotted his kids across the parking lot.
"Gracie, Charlie, come here. THIS IS THE PIZZAMAN!" he shouted.
"They're fans of yours" the Mayor said to me "We were having dinner last night when they said 'Dad, The Pizzaman endorsed you!'. That's great!"
I was introduced to RT's kids, Charlie and Gracie. We shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. They seemed to be fine young citizens.

RT whipped me around to meet another person.
"HEY! IT'S THE PIZZAMAN!" RT exclaimed once again.
"OH! YOU'RE THE PIZZAMAN?! the woman cried.
"Yes. Yes I am" I said, wondering how many times I'd have to answer that question.
"So nice to meet you! We saw your endorsement! That was great! Very funny!"
"Thank you".

At that point, someone snagged the Mayor and they went back inside.
I stood outside talking to the woman and RT's wife, Megan.
"I emailed your endorsement to RT with the subject heading "The Only Endorsement That Counts" the woman said.
"Now that's funny" I replied.

Finally, their ride pulled up to the curb.
They invited me to the after-election party after-party, but I declined.

I was lighting up a ciggy when GR walked out the door.
"What the fuck was THAT all about? I mean, the Mayor totally blows me off, then I look up and he's talking to the fuckin' PIzzaman? And he was really, really excited about it too!".
We walked back inside and ran into RT.
"Hey, Pizzaman!" he said.
GR looked at the Mayor. "What gives, Mr Mayor? You blow me off, but you'll talk to the Pizzaman?"
"Hey, he's the Pizzaman. He endorsed me!"
"And" I said "That's the 'only endorsement that counts'"
"That's RIGHT!" the Mayor laughed "That's the only endorsement that counts!".

RT then walked back into the Ukrainian Center while GR and I headed to the bar.

Posted by The Pizza Man at November 9, 2005 5:22 AM

The Pizzaman endorses RT Rybak for Mayor of MPLS

Tomorrow is election day in our fine city of Minneapolis and for the last month or so I've heard the same question over and over:
"Pizzaman, who are you going to vote for for mayor?"

I've got a choice between RT Rybak and Peter McLaughlin. Now, if I were given another choice, say someone who won't force a trio of sports stadiums down my throat, (yeah, that's where I want my tax dollars going - to some billionaire, so some millionaires can play ball) or someone who would repeal the smoking ban, I'd probably vote for them.
But unfortunately there's only RT and Petey Mac.

I've done some reading, I've heard them debate, I've listened to their commercials on the radio and I've come to the conclusion that I will endorse, and vote for, RT Rybak.

Here are my reasons:

1 - Rybak is endorsed by Former Vice President Walter Mondale
If RT is good enough for ol' Fritz, he's good enough for me.
Meanwhile, the Minneapolis Police Federation took time off from
abusing citizens and harassing pizzamen to endorse McLaughlin.

2 - McLaughlin comes off as a mean-spirited dickhead and Rybak is a likable putz.
I guess I'd rather have a likable putz with a proven track record than some dude who speaks of crime in MPLS like it's inner-city Detroit or something.
Plus, McLaughlin's relentless attack ads drove me nuts.

3 - Rybak gave up his seat in this August debate so outsider candidate Marcus Harcus could have his say.
A classy move by the Mayor.

4 - Rybak is a good tipper.
A year ago last summer, I pulled up to a house to deliver some Hot and Fresh to find our Mayor sitting on the lawn, sporting a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and bare feet, with a couple of other dudes, just kickin' it on a beautiful MPLS summer day.

RT and I chatted while one of the other guys went to round up some money. In our brief chat, we talked about public transportation, support for the arts and how fucking awesome MPLS is. When his friend returned with some cash, RT and the others pooled their money and paid me. While figuring out the bill, I heard RT say "Make sure the Pizzaman gets his fair share".

That's what I like, a Mayor who's looking out for the Pizzaman. I bid RT and his pals adieu and got back into my car. I counted out the money. On a $48 bill, they gave me $60. That's a $12 tip or just slightly less than 21%. Hoo-ray, the Mayor isn't a cheapskate. What impressed me the most is that RT insisted I get my "fair share" and actually came through, he delivered.

And I think he'll deliver for MPLS.

Posted by The Pizza Man at November 7, 2005 2:42 PM

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