July 2007

The Pizzaman, a Mercedes-Benz and Charles Darwin

The other night, I spotted a brand new Mercedes Benz driving ahead of me.
It wasn't going very fast, maybe 20 mph. The Benz slowed down as it
approached a green light and started careening through the intersection
at a crawl. I slowed down as I approached the intersection, wary of the Benz.
It took so much time that I missed the green light.
I sat at the red light and watched the Benz putter away.

I caught up to it at the next light. The light had turned green several seconds
before and yet the Mercedes was at a standstill. This didn't matter to me for
I was planning on turning right anyway. I signaled my turn and slipped into
the right lane. Just as I approached the Benz, it took a quick and wild right
turn with no warning. I slammed on the brakes, then the horn.
The Benz paid me no mind.

Now, I'm way past getting pissed at this brand of jackassery, I see it so often
that I just make a quick mental note that Minneapolitans can't drive worth a
shit and go on with my day. I just let it go.
But as I followed the Benz and watched it carelessly and slowly swerve down
the street oblivious to anyone else on the road, I thought
"How the Hell can someone afford a new Mercedes-Benz, yet can't seem to
figure out where the fuck they're going or how to use their signal light?".

Somewhere Charles Darwin is crying.

Posted by The Pizza Man at July 16, 2007 1:47 PM

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