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Dearest P.,
Hullo. Just a gentle reminder that you should brush and floss after every meal & see your dentist at least twice a year. I personally LOVE your teeth and think that you should let me brush them at least twice a year too. (You have to admit I'm creative!)
Do your parents ever go out of town and leave you alone to take care of the house for the day? I HAVE to sleep over at your dad's house! (Why? Because we like you) Just to see if your room is as nice as it seems! (Uh-huh!)
"There's no one there to keep you warm" -- Culture Club
During this note, you may notice various quotes from different bands. Please, do not panic. These quotes are just placed to add to the spice and informatory parts of this note.
When (and for how long) are you going on your bike trip?
About your scraggly adolescent mustache, there is only one way I could like it, but writing it down would be foolish and presumtuous.
"Gently up to meet the blue Left a note and signed it "TRUE"" -- Spandau Ballet
My cat just told me that you have cat eyes. (at least in her opinion) and she thinks they are totally gorgeous! (We have very similar tastes my "kit" and I)
"Don't want you to misunderstand me" -- Chicago
Did you write me a note yet? (Oh, I figured out what part of my person you missed! My absolute bossiness! You [like the many men in my life] love to be pushed around!)
Just kidding dahling! (But you know it don't you?!)
"Find your destiny on the wind, don't ever think about coming down." -- author unknown
Did you like the present? I supposed you did, but I gotta make sure. You know us insecure people!
I can't believe I lost my engagement ring (and you can't believe that we are engaged!)
"In a world where people do their best to try and be like all the rest, it's such a joy to see, pure originality" -- Doctor Pepper
I didn't remember how much fun swimming was! (Even tho I didn't REALLY swim)
"Always believe in your soul/You've got the power to know/You're indestructable/Always believe in because you are GOLD" -- Spandau Ballet
We HAVE to go swimming some night, considering how close you live to the beach! It'll be fun now that I've got enough guts to swim and stick your money down the front of my suit.
I've got to go, but I can't part without a last thought.....
"My soul is courting with that flowering though. It moves in time with the ebbing tide. My eyes, they close for a fleeting moment, the water comes and covers any doubt I've got." -- WANDA
P.S. I tried sleeping without underwear, but it was too GROSS!!
Love is everywhere that you go,
WANDA
Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 30, 2004 3:05 PM
Note: Like I said, Wanda wasn't her name, and Irwin wasn't my name. Above is another crush letters from her to me that I scanned, below is one I transcribed. (Mine and Joel's "band" was pretty much a concept at that point: The Bad Habits). Anyway, enjoy!
Dear Irwin (love your name, huh?),
As of right now you and Joel are the (male) heart and soul of the band!! (I don't have to be in it, but knowing you when you were "just beginning" is good enough).
That song is SO good. (Anymore said would ruin the mood of a totally sincere compliment.)
I lost the note! --mine to you (It was a masterpiece, but I can live with the loss).
You'll be proud to know that I'm putting "Don't Send Me Back" in my "songs & other poetic verse" section of my notebook! Congratulations!
Before I go, (I am holding back the urge to rhyme this next sentence) I want you to remember I am totally indebted to you for not letting everyone read this.
W/B/ WANDA
Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 29, 2004 1:06 PM

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Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 28, 2004 3:26 PM
The object of her affection: me (with zit) in '84.
"Wanda" wasn't her real name, but that was how she signed her notes. She was my first girlfriend, though we didn't so much as tongue kiss. Mostly we flirted and passed notes between 8th and 9th grade. Toward the end, a boy with darker skin than hers came up to her and said something like, "Quit trying to act white." I sort of held her back, worrying he would kick my ass. The incident is alluded to in later notes, soon to be transcribed here (I'll do one every day). Wanda was cool. She has kids now and I hope she'll forgive me for publishing these, though she was already a great writer...
I Hate 1984: The Box Set
Bonus to the "I Hate 1984" spectacular in today's City Pages: Here's the complete online series that inspired it. Regulars at this blog should check out the paper for new embarrassing photos (Brad's is awesome; that's actually me in '85; see above for '84) and two new essays: Corey Anderson on the "Where's the beef?" lady, and Beth Hawkins on the minivan. I never really expected to have my stuff appear in the paper at all (notice I misspelled Oscar Mayer) so I'm a little mortified, but fuck it. Enjoy!
'I Hate 1984': an Introduction by Peter S. Scholtes
'The Terminator' by Joseph Golden
Van Halen's '1984' by G.R. Anderson, Jr.
'V: The Final Conflict' by Stephanie Carver
Run-DMC's First Album by Nate Patrin
The Minutemen's 'Double Nickels' by Brad Zellar
My First Macintosh by James Bryant MacTavish
Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo by Kate Silver
Being Five Years Old by Lars J. Larson
'Stop Making Sense' by Chuck Tomlinson
Reading Orwell's '1984' by Dara Moskowitz
Burning the Year onto CDs by Michaelangelo Matos
'Meat Puppets II' by Cecile Cloutier
'Sixteen Candles' by Sarah Sawyer
Remember 'Renting' Records? by Dylan Hicks
Foetus in Fridley by Chris Strouth
'Born in the U.S.A.' by Paul Demko
Michael Jordan's Rookie Season by Bill Tuomala
Tina Turner's 'Private Dancer' by Britt Robson
My Paisley Punk Year by David Beckey
The Replacements' 'Let It Be' by G.R. Anderson, Jr.
Oar Folkjokeopus by John Evans
Falling In Love with Chrissie Hynde by Brian Beatty
'This Is Spinal Tap' by Jenny Woods
Husker Du's 'Zen Arcade' by Peter S. Scholtes
Ronald Reagan by Peter S. Scholtes
Thanks again to Lars J. Larson for these bookending graphics...
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Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 25, 2004 10:55 PM
As a bonus to my "School of Funk" article, here are more photos from the Charles Chamblis Collection of the Minnesota Historical Society, all taken by the late Charles Chamblis. I've added notes where I could, but if anyone has more information about the people in these pictures, contact me at pscholtes@citypages.com or 612.372.3764. Above: Grand Central circa 1975: drummer Morris Day (top, left), percussionist William "Hollywood" Doughty, bassist Andre Anderson (later Andre Cymone), and keyboardist/guitarist Linda Anderson (bottom). Not pictured: Prince. Linda says he was in the band when this was taken, and doesn't know why he wasn't in it. Her older sister made the matching stud outfits.
Terry Lewis circa 1976, with Flyte Tyme.
Morris Day before he was cool, playing with Grand Central circa 1975. His mom bought him his first drum set at Sears.
Morris Day circa 1975.
Unknown band (above) at the Cozy Bar circa 1975. Michael Barber on guitar, Aaron Jenkins (later of Shangoya) on drums, Harold Stevenson on bass. There were a lot of unidentified bands in the Chamblis collection, actually, and this was one of the best photos.
Myst (a.k.a. Mist) in the early '80s. The Johnson sisters later formed Best Kept Secret, one of the finest local R&B finds in the Twin Cities.
Grand Central performing at a fashion show, with unknown dancers.
Close-up of the same photo: That's Prince on Farfisa, Andre on bass, and Morris on drums.
Concert at the Way community center, with the Cohesion Band. The photo notes identify only the late Ronnie Robbins (Robins?) on guitar in the white outfit, and Rick De Jesus on drums. That's Jim Anderson in the tie, who ran a McDonalds on the north side back in the day.
Flyte Tyme in costume, circa 1976: with Terry Lewis (center), alto saxophonist David Island, (back, left), drummer Jellybean Johnson (back, right), tenor saxophonist James "Chipmunk" Anderson (bottom, left), and singer-saxophonist Cynthia Johnson (bottom, middle)
Come see me play records in the park on Monday...

On Monday I am spinning records and CDs in Loring Park starting at 6:30 p.m., before Har Mar Superstar (who performs at 7:00 p.m.), and then before a screening of the Steve McQueen/Faye Dunaway movie The Thomas Crown Affair (which starts at dusk). This is part of the Walker Art Center's Movies and Music series, one of the reasons I live in Minneapolis, man. (For more events like this, check out the City Pages summer movie guide, or my movie links on the side of this page.)
If anyone likes the music they hear and wants to start a band with me, let's do it. I need people with good ears who aren't necessarily all that hugely experienced and aren't in it for the money. I play drums and keyboards, but could play bass, and am looking for guitarists, bassists, singers, drummers, piano players, whatever.
Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 14, 2004 4:30 PM

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Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 14, 2004 2:50 PM
Here's what I've posted so far on Complicatedfun.com about 1984:
An Introduction by Peter S. Scholtes
'The Terminator' by Joseph Golden
Van Halen's '1984' by G.R. Anderson, Jr.
'V: The Final Conflict' by Stephanie Carver
Run-DMC's First Album by Nate Patrin
The Minutemen's 'Double Nickels' by Brad Zellar
My First Macintosh by James Bryant MacTavish
Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo by Kate Silver
Being Five Years Old by Lars J. Larson
'Stop Making Sense' by Chuck Tomlinson
Reading Orwell's '1984' by Dara Moskowitz
Burning the Year onto CDs by Michaelangelo Matos
'Meat Puppets II' by Cecile Cloutier
'Sixteen Candles' by Sarah Sawyer
Remember 'Renting' Records? by Dylan Hicks
Foetus in Fridley by Chris Strouth
'Born in the U.S.A.' by Paul Demko
Michael Jordan's Rookie Season by Bill Tuomala
Tina Turner's 'Private Dancer' by Britt Robson
My Paisley Punk Year by David Beckey
The Replacements' 'Let It Be' by G.R. Anderson, Jr.
Oar Folkjokeopus by John Evans
Falling In Love with Chrissie Hynde by Brian Beatty
'This Is Spinal Tap' by Jenny Woods
Husker Du's 'Zen Arcade' by Peter S. Scholtes
Ronald Reagan by Peter S. Scholtes
Posted by Peter S. Scholtes at July 5, 2004 5:32 PM