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Taking it like a man

by Mark Gisleson

Another lawsuit has been filed that threatens the American way of life™*. Maurice Clarett, a running back at Ohio State has been suspended from NCAA play for taking compensation and lying to investigators. Clarett doesn't dispute the charges and isn't suing the NCAA or Ohio State University. He's suing the NFL for its rule that prohibits college students from being eligible for the draft until they've been out of high school for three years.

I suspect many Bush Wars readers aren't overly familiar with college or pro sports, and may question my assertion that this legal action imperils the Republic, but believe me, it does. If Clarett wins, and it's hard to imagine him losing such a no brainer, the door is open for 18-year-olds to play pro football, just as they are eligible to play in the NBA, the NHL, or major league baseball. So what's the big whoop?

How will American sports fans react to seeing an 18-year-old crippled for life by a "legal" tackle? As a lifelong Oakland Raider fan with an admittedly spotty memory, I don't remember any penalty flag on the field when Jack Tatum put Darryl Stingley into a wheelchair. I don't remember any shocked gasps when Jim Otto was inducted into the Football Hall of Fame while sitting on stage in his wheelchair. And, after Googling the hell out of the 'net, I can't even tell you how many NFL players are in wheelchairs, even though the league most certainly has those numbers, probably under lock and key. I can tell you that Jack Tatum recently had a leg amputated as a result of diabetes.

John Crumpacker assessed the current season in yesterday's San Francisco Chronicle: "The season is only three weeks old and already guys are out for the duration, done in by ankles, knees, elbows, spinal cords, necks and concussed brains that were never meant for football."

But, an astute reader might say, why doesn't the players union raise holy hell about this? Crumpacker continues, "As anyone who has ever played, coached or even covered pro football knows, the game comes down to who is most healthy most often. Players quickly learn to distinguish between pain and injury. Fortune smiles on teams that minimize their injuries."

The entire culture of football is all about "being a man," sucking it up and not letting the other guy see you cry. Despite my current 6-foot, 290-lb. frame (yep, I've lost 10 lbs. in recent weeks — thanks for noticing), I only came in at 5-10, 145 lbs. In high school, and never got past the hamburger squad, even in my senior year. But I will always remember the day I walked off the practice field, looked down and saw a four-inch bleeding gash on my right elbow. I hadn't even noticed. I was very proud of myself, and even though the scar has shrunk to less than two inches, I've been known to show it off at parties. It is, after all, a battle scar.

Years ago at a union meeting, I was treated to the cheery news that rubberworkers (I worked in a tire factory) who worked right up to the age of 65 had an average life expectancy of less than one year. Well, if you've ever tried to Google anything involving the insurance industry, you know how impossible it is to find the stats for something like that, but if the mortality rate at Local 310 was any indicator, that stat was right on the money. I mention this because it was at this meeting that I first heard the story that pro football players had an average life expectancy of only 55 years. That doesn't appear to be true (a NYTimes report indicates it was a players union stat since debunked), unless the stat I heard was for linemen only:

The three-year mortality study of nearly 7,000 former NFL players concluded that they are not dying younger than the national life expectancy for males of 72. It also concluded, however, that offensive and defensive linemen, chiefly because of their bulk, have a rate of heart disease substantially higher than that of the general populace.

[source]

There's an easy caveat here: linemen are prone to steroid abuse, and even the drug-free players bulk up to insane levels through scientific weight training. I'm sure sumo wrestlers are equally short-lived. How big is big? Back in 1999 (and players have gotten even bigger since), 279 NFL players weighed over 300 lbs. A year later Arizona fielded a starting offensive line that averaged 328 lbs. apiece.

Imagine what it's like to be hit in the open field by a 300-lb. man wearing protective pads. Then think what it would have been like when you were 18. Do we really need actuarial tables to tell us that this is terribly, terribly wrong?

Bread and circuses.

* Used with permission from Fox News.

Posted by Steve Perry at September 24, 2003 11:08 AM

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