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Swift Boat to Nowhere

Plus the 527 ad you will probably never see

In the past couple of days I've been working on a column about October Surprise scenarios for next week's City Pages. In the first draft I started by alluding to the swift boat dustup, and remarked that, unfortunately for the president, no one cared.

Did I say no one cared? I meant that lots of people cared. This morning's LA Times brings news of a poll showing Bush in the lead 49-46 thanks partly to the Vietnam ads. That is a 5-point turnaround from the Times's July poll. Ron Brownstein writes that the data shows " the electorate edging toward Bush over the past month on a broad range of measures, from support for his handling of Iraq to confidence in his leadership and honesty."

His honesty! Never mind the obvious and unexploited retort about Bush's own military service. Bush's scoring points for honesty is the ultimate tribute to Kerry's--oh, discreet--style of campaigning.

I hereby volunteer my services for the following testimonial Kerry ad:

[Opening shot: Kerry at the podium, waving and smiling in slow motion]

VOICEOVER: "I've been watching John Kerry on the campaign trail. Trying to, anyway. He's hard to see sometimes."

[Cut to shot of Kerry eating corn at a state fair]

VOICEOVER: "I would say John Kerry is a... careful man. And polite. He looks good in public."

[Cut to shot of Kerry and Edwards on stage at the convention finale]

VOICEOVER: "I know he's a lot like Bush. But you know, I think he's actually a lot lazier than Bush."

[Cut to shot of the speaker, sitting in a rocking chair]

"If John Kerry runs the country like he's run his campaign, he won't do anything at all in the White House.

"And that's why I'm voting for John Kerry." 

My colleague Dr. Corey Anderson, by the way, has posted a series of ads from the Bush Swift Yacht Veterans at American Idle.  

Posted by Steve Perry at August 26, 2004 8:37 AM

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