September 2005

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Attention Gordon Wittenmyer: Johan Santana is not going to win the Cy Young award

Filed under: MLB

I know that covering the Twins in late September with absolutely nothing on the line is a drag, but can we please stop with these desperate stories about Johan Santana's Cy Young prospects?

Bottom line: barring indictment on child molestation charges Bartolo Colon will win the American League Cy Young award.

Last night Colon won his 21st game, knocking off Oakland 7-1. How many wins does Johan have? fifteen. Repeat after me: fifteen. In other words (stick with me; I know the math is difficult) the Twins' ace has six fewer victories than Colon--who also happens to pitch for a team that won its division and is headed to the playoffs.

Granted Santana has better numbers in every other significant statistical category: era, strikeouts, walks/hits per nine innings, etc. But the victories are what matter. Let's assume for a moment that Santana wins his final start of the season on Sunday (presuming there is one). That would make him 16-7.

How many starting pitchers have won the Cy Young award with 16 or fewer victories? Exactly three: Fernando Valenzuela (13-7, 1981), Greg Maddux (16-6, 1994), and David Cone (16-5, 1994). What do all of them have in common? They won the award in strike-shortened seasons.

So sorry Johan. No additions to the trophy case this year.

(On a sidenote: If I were Santana I'd insist on batting when I pitch until the Twins add some offense. I guarantee he would drive in more runs than Michael Cuddyer. That guy is awful. Please do something about him Terry Ryan.)

Posted by Paul Demko at September 30, 2005 11:39 AM | Comments (6)

 

Upper Midwest pennant fever!

Filed under: Twins

This time of year it's difficult to generate any enthusiasm whatsoever for watching the Twins play--or even to check out the box score in the morning paper. About the only interesting aspect of the four remaining games is how much-hyped prospects Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano fare against big league bats. Tonight's game--with dead arm Joe Mays starting against the dreadful Royals (who by the way will be gunning for their club record 105th loss!)--looks particularly brutal.

But here's one point that the Twins can still use for motivation in these dog days of the season: they're in danger of ending up with a worse record than the Brewers. With Milwaukee's win this afternoon, the perennially awful Brew Crew moved within a half game of the Twins.

This alarming fact will undoubtedly stimulate Joe Mays to get his fastball hopping up to the mid-80s. Go Twins.

Posted by Paul Demko at September 29, 2005 5:01 PM | Comments (2)

 

Curt Schilling focus of steroid probe

Filed under: MLB

As Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling's temper tantrums grow more frequent, rising to the point where he simply growls and grunts, there is speculation about possible steroid abuse by this World Series champ. Rumors that Schilling has been seen carrying a Wookie bowcaster are being denied by the BoSox front office. Click on the thumbnail photo to reveal the difficult truth about this ongoing investigation. Warning: May not be suitable for children.

UPDATE: Apparently, it's just some guy in a Chewbacca costume.

Posted by Corey Anderson at September 29, 2005 12:14 PM | Comments (1)

 

Three Reasons For Optimism about the Minnesota Vikings

Filed under: Vikings

1) The two teams that have beaten them, Tampa Bay and Cincinnati, are a combined 6-0.

2. Despite their dreadful start, the Vikes are a mere half-game out of first place in what may be the least talented division in NFL history. One of the division's four teams has to make the playoffs.

3. With the addition of Darren Sharper, Pat Williams, and Fred Smoot (in that order of importance), the defense is more talented and experienced than it has been in nearly a decade.

And Three Reasons For Pessimism

1. Mike Rosenthal and Brawlin' Bryant McKinnie watching Pep's back on the offensive line.

2. The "new" Culpepper will merely trade sacks for interceptions against a front seven with any quickness at all--like Atlanta, next week's opponent.

3. Coach Mike Tice

Suggestions for additions on either side of the ledger welcomed.

Posted by Britt Robson at September 26, 2005 2:35 PM | Comments (4)

 

How 'bout that Tribe?

Filed under: MLB

The Cleveland Indians' thrilling come-from-behind victory over the White Sox last night--the team's sixth win in a row--pulls them to just two and a half games behind Chicago. Remember, just a few weeks ago the White Sox seemed untouchable; now they might be watching those Wild Card standings like the rest of us.

The Indians are turning into the team everyone in Minnesota hoped the Twins would become, and now that the hometown boys are doner than flank steak, the Indians are the team to watch the rest of September. Which means I finally get to point out why I hate them:

Seriously, how can you look at their hats and not puke? I don't want to root for Chicago tonight, Cleveland, but you're making me!

Posted by Chuck Terhark at September 20, 2005 6:11 PM | Comments (4)

 

Mike Tice death watch, Day 1

Filed under: Vikings

Mike Tice might want to start scalping his 2006 Super Bowl tickets early this year. Any Sunday now, the lowest paid coach in the NFL may become a very large man being paid very large money to plant his ass on the couch in front of a very large television. (I personally haven't seen Tice's couch or his ass, but there's every reason to believe they're both substantial as well.)

As long as Red McCombs appeared weekly on TV, stewing glumly in his I'm-not-making-enough-money-off-this-luxury box, Vikings fans could lavish their resentment on that cheapskate. Now, the coach I call "Iago" (for the way he insinuated himself into his post) seems like he's close to his fifth and final act.

On the subject of grisly dramas and fickle loyalties, it's been a rough week for George W. Bush's Minnesota supporters, with Randy Kelly going into the halftime of his reelection campaign down 25 points--around the same number the Vikings spotted Cincinnati on Sunday (27). Tice is another Bushman, having handed the pres a Vikes jersey last year at a Target Center campaign rally. (This may have won Tice suck-up points with McCombs, a major Republican donor; new owner Zygmunt Wilf gives to the Dems.) "When it's the fourth quarter and the game is on the line," Tice said last October, "you want somebody with a cool head calling the plays."

Funny, but that line makes even more sense when you're talking about football.

Posted by Michael Tortorello at September 19, 2005 7:22 PM | Comments (2)

 

No huddle: The kneejerk reaction to the Vikings game

Filed under: Vikings

Whither the O-Line?

What was most surprising about the game today was what was clearly the team's biggest weakness: The offensive line. Recent history has shown that the Vikes, especially under Denny Green, were astute at quietly assembling huge-yet-athletic guys up front. No wonder those offenses were so good.

It seems obvious now after today's game. I've been down on Matt Birk, ever since the local-boy-made-good essentially rode Moss out of town, and I took a little bit of satisfaction in watching the goody-goody get raked over the coals for bungling the treatment of his hip injury. But, boy, if today proved anything, it's how much the Vikes need him anchoring that line.

Withrow was often beat by Chris Hovan, who a year ago had no business being in an NFL uniform (no doubt the former Vike's revenge was sweet today), and my 68-year-old father remarked that he could get around McKinnie today--and for once I didn't feel compelled to dispute him.

People are going to get all over Culpepper on this one, and gripe about the two Wiggins touchdowns that were called back (and I'll grant them that the interference call on the first one was hooey). But the fact is, this team has a major problem up front, and that's likely to haunt all season. (Plugging Goldberg in during the second half helped not enough.) Culpepper didn't have time to do much back there.

Also, today solidified that Tice is still a terrible game coach. The team looked ill-prepared for way too many ill-conceived substitutions, and it cost them: a timeout in the first half when the D only had 10 men on the field and another timeout in the second half when the play clock nearly hit zero. I expected this; Tice is the worst clock manager in the league by far.

But I didn't expect this from a guy who espouses so much work-ethic bullshit: His boys looked tired out there, and early, giving up buckets of sweat in the 68-degree Metrodome. Poor conditioning, like a leaky O-Line, wasn't on the agenda.

But, hey, the D was fired up, if not exactly smothering. Special points to Sharper, who did draw echoes--I said echoes, now--of a Kenny Easley or a Ronnie Lott. But I'm afraid my belief that this would be a maddeningly mediocre 9-7 team was shaken today, and not in a good way. (The inverse of that record seems more likely.)

But my belief that Queens will be a middling bore, sans Moss, was not.

Posted by G.R. Anderson Jr. at September 11, 2005 6:04 PM | Comments (7)

 

Jeff Siemon: Linebacker for Christ

Filed under: Vikings

A linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings from 1972-82, Jeff Siemon now answers to a higher power than Bud Grant. Siemon will be conducting a workshop called "How to be a Faithful Man of God in the 21st Century" at Paynesville Lutheran Church, about 90 miles northwest of the Twin Cities on September 24. The workshop begins at 3:00 p.m. with a spaghetti dinner and another presentation scheduled for later in the day. The event is open to men of all ages who are interested in hearing about Siemon's football days while getting a little religion to boot.

Posted by Corey Anderson at September 9, 2005 3:48 PM | Comments (1)

 

Jerry Rice retires

Filed under: NFL

After a 20-year career as the most prolific wide receiver to ever play the game, 42-year-old Jerry Rice has announced his retirement. Rice spent the majority of his tenure with the San Francisco 49ers, followed by stints in Oakland and Seattle. After being offered only a small role in the Denver Broncos offense, Rice has instead chosen to end his Hall of Fame career. John Clayton has more at ESPN.com.

Posted by Corey Anderson at September 5, 2005 2:36 PM | Comments (1)

 

Forbes names Vikings least valuable NFL franchise

Filed under: Vikings

Forbes magazine recently ranked NFL teams in order of value with the Minnesota Vikings coming out at the bottom, due primarily to their home in the much-maligned HHH Metrodome. "That's simply because of their stadium," Senior editor Michael Ozanian said. "They have one of the five worst stadium situations in pro football." Forbes puts a $658 million sticker price on the purple, while the beleaguered Washington Redskins topped the charts at $1.26 billion. The Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots were the other two teams breaching the billion-dollar mark. The Vikes were ranked 30th last year, but Arizona and Atlanta increased sponsorships and ticket sales, leaving the purple in the cellar.

Posted by Corey Anderson at September 3, 2005 10:05 AM | Comments (0)

 

Oklahoma City mayor offers to host New Orleans Hornets

Filed under: NBA

Oklahoma City Mayor Mick Cornett has offered the New Orleans Hornets a temporary home at the Ford Center for their upcoming NBA season. Hornets general manager Allan Bristow said no decision had been made on where the team would play. As with the NFL's Saints, LSU could be an option, with the Pete Maravich Assembly Center seating 14,000. Read the entire Associated Press story here.

Posted by Corey Anderson at September 2, 2005 2:42 PM | Comments (0)

 

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