The beautiful (con) game

Over the years, it has been my pleasure to enjoy a steady correspdondence with the progeny and widows of such African eminences as Mobutu Sese Seko, Laurent Kabila, Sani Abacha, and Foday Sanko. I was distinctly honored, naturally, to be invited to join banking ventures with these esteemed individuals.

Not being an international financier, however, I was unqualified to participate in any of these lucrative transactions. And so I considered myself duly fortunate finally to receive a solicitation in an area of my own interest: The World Cup. The fact that this business proposal involved Africa's greatest statesman and moral beacon? Well, you can imagine that the thrill was greater than scoring a goal in Germany 2006 with my own left foot.

DESK OF CHAIRMAN
Sub-Committee on Finance
South African World Cup bid 2010
24 Steven Bikko Blvrd Pretoria,
Republic Of South Africa.
Email: REDACTED
Attn: Ceo,

Greetings you must be aware now that my country The Republic of South Africa won the bid to host the world cup by 2010, prior to this bid my committee was mandated to lobby the members of board of Federation International Football Association (FIFA) on selection of the country to host the world, the bidding was intensive but at the end we got the hosting right.

My committee was given the sum of $29 million dollars to lobby the members of the FIFA ruling body to make sure that we win the hosting right considering he gain that comes with the hosting right like South Africa's economy will receive a massive direct boost from hosting the 2010 World Cup, financial impact report for South Africa's World Cup bid committee shows that the 2010 World Cup will pump R21.3-billion into South Africa's economy, and creating an estimated 159 000 new jobs.

With the help the living legend of our time 85-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr. Nelson Mandela who made an emotive case for The Republic of South Africa, we got the bid without spending all the money, I and my committee members saw this as a God sent opportunity to secure our future and that of our family therefore was mandated by other committee members to look for a way to move the remaining money to a safe place with the help of a foreigner who we can trust and is ready to assist us to move the funds considering the fact that we are still members of the bid committee and in the eyes of the public.

We have in our possession the sum $21 millon since we spent just $8 million for lobbying. We are ready to give you 20% for all your assistance then me and my colleagues will keep 80% lf you are willing kindly reply to my letter for further directive. we will want to invest our share into Real-estate and air taxi business in your country with your assistance, bearing in mind that confidentiality is of great essences so is time in this project I will await your response.

Best Regards
Mr.Mike Muyeke

All responses should be sent to: REDACTED

Obviously, I fully intend to avail myself of this exciting opportunity. After all, could it be any more dubious or corrupt an enterprise than the governing bodies of footie?