Blue blood in the blue blue grass

The big news out of Kentucky this week is that Queen Elizabeth is coming to the Kentucky Derby in two weeks. People everywhere with no sense of reality are all abuzz because this highly inbred woman with no real appreciable skills at anything has decided to use a portion of her enormous wealth derived from centuries of abuse of normal people like you and me, to come to America for 6 days and waltz around for photographers. I once read a story about her that said as a girl, she was given cookies if she could space out her bowel movements such that she only took one when she awoke, and one before she went to bed. Indeed. Royalty. There's nothing more useless on earth than someone who claims to be or is actually certified as "royalty." When some idiot points out their charitable works, it really chaps my ass, because the money wasn't theirs to begin with, so they should be giving it back. The entire royal family of Great Britain should be thrown out into the streets and required to make down payments and take out mortgages on their castles and servants. What a fucking joke.

Beyond that, there was one last tune-up for the Derby that Demko missed, the Lexington Stakes from the worthless polytrack of Keeneland. At the post of this misbegotten trot, everyone was interviewing D. Wayne Lukas and reliving the good old days when Charismatic won this race, then the Derby two weeks later. They were fellating his horse, Starbase, and asking him whether lightning could strike twice. But lightning is a strange old bird, and leaves split tree trunks and scorched earth everywhere it goes. All the big money was going into Belgravia, Soaring By and Joe Got Even; all 3 horses ate shit and were no factor in the race or the money. Robbie Albarado, who will pilot current favorite Curlin at Churchill Downs in two weeks whipped something called Slew's Tizzy--who went off at 40-1--around both turns in a reasonable 1:43 and change, wire to wire, ahead of Starbase and Forty Grams. It was a normal race, and it really makes me question what happened last week at the Blue Grass, a horrible race from start to finish, and a real thorn in the sides of miserable gamblers, like Demko. So all that wisdom that Beyer spouted about polytrack last week is either bullshit, or is vulnerable to speed freaks, which might make Slew's Tizzy a new favorite to set the pace. If you bet $2 on the Trifecta in this run, you were rewarded with $14,000 on the backside, so the afternoon wasn't a total loss for some.

In the next two weeks, it will be time for some heavy number crunching, followed by a foolish bet made 3 minutes to post, based on nothing in particular. Stay tuned.