June 2007

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Bully!

Filed under: Twins

OK, now that was a good game. You had Frank Thomas (The Tank Engine) blasting his 500th home run, and the Twins won anyway. Our boys fell behind quickly in the first and then, nonplussed, shut the lid on the Blue Jays in commanding fashion, playing small-ball and Earl Weaver style basher-ball to come back and win 8-5. And that's just awesome.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I've been a grouch about this Twins team. They have failed to live up to my always excessive expectations and probably will continue on this path no matter what they do shy of a World Series triumph. But games like today's do raise my spirits considerably, and that's because there's hope. A well played game is a joy forever in this sport, but if your team's the Kansas City Royals and the season's over by June, well, a good game goes only so far. Grim reality comes crashing down after the last out, just as sure as the sun disappears every day. That the Twins have a chance this season--and they do, in spite of all my pessimism--makes today's comeback that much more exciting.

It looked bad from the start, though. Carlos Silva gave up Thomas' historical blast, which put the Jays up 4-0 right away. The Twins scored a run quickly in their half, put two more on with one out, and then the heart of the order stranded them. Uh-oh, I thought, and remembered that Silva was in his usual mess--no pitcher in the AL has worse run support than poor Carlos. Four runs seemed daunting.

But the Twins shook off the first inning and went to work. The Jays made errors and we took advantage of them. Jason Bartlett smacked a surprising home run, was hit by a pitch, reached base every at-bat, stole a base and scored a pair of runs. Torii, not to be outdone by the Big Hurt (or Bartlett for that matter), cracked a pair of homers himself, and knocked in three RBI. Outside that first inning, Silva threw six full and gave up only three hits, a walk, and struck out five in that time.

My favorite moment came in the fifth, when Minnesota, down by a pair, opened up the game and went ahead 7-5. Tyner began the rumpus with a sharp single, and then Bartlett stepped to the plate. Now, it seems to me that Gardy would typically let this pirahna lay down a sacrifice bunt, a strategy I absolutely hate, but one that's popular (the Twins are tied for fourth in this category). Now, I don't know if Gardenhire was still stunned at Bartlett's sudden power surge just two innings earlier, but the guy never even showed bunt. Instead, he belted a liner into right which sent Tyner to third and got the ball rolling on what would be a four-run inning.

Homers, stolen bases, key hits, great pitching... oh, yeah, and in the ninth, with the game out of reach and Joe Nathan working his magic, both Frank Thomas and manager John Gibbons were ejected. So the Big Hurt started the game making history, and ended it by getting tossed on his ear. What more do you want?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 28, 2007 12:02 PM | Comments (30)

 

Battle of the Also-Rans

Filed under: Twins

The Toronto Blue Jays and The Minnesota Twins, wrestling for possession of fourth place in the Wild Card race (with the mighty Oakland Athletics), were like a pair of samurai this evening, each desperately trying to push the other out of the chalk ring without success. Behold: Scott Baker and Shaun Marcum pitched very good games and watched as their respective clubs could only score a run apiece. Baker's was a particularly impressive performance, going seven full innings, giving up a run and striking out nine. This type of performance should be rewarded with a Win for the young hurler, right? Not in Twins Territory...

You can get all thrilled to pieces that the Twins have their seventh walk-off victory of the season, after Jeff Cirillo, pinch-hitting in the twelfth fucking, inning looped a single into center to score Mike Cuddyer from third. You could roar with delight when Jason Kubel drew a tenth inning walk that amounted to nothing. When your team's not scoring, when the opponent's not scoring (and you know in your gut they should), you'll take what you can get. You may marvel at the pitcher's duel unfolding on the field, but deep down you're feeling cheated.

I say the duel was decent, nothing more. True, Baker was magnificent. When Vernon Wells (a Twins killer if ever there was one) doubled to open the fourth and end a no-hit bid, Baker never lost his composure. With Wells standing at the keystone, the kid from Shreveport induced a pop-up and struck out the next two. So that was good.

If only we could've scored. Because this Shaun Marcum, who is excelling as a starter for the Jays (3-0, 2.26 as a starter), seemed to be given some help with his dubious magic by some serious hacking on our part. No Twin saw more than five pitches per at-bat through seven innings, and none took a Jay pitcher to a full count until the tenth inning. Granted, there weren't many strikeouts, so at least we got some wood on the ball. But that's cold comfort.

The Twins can't ask guys like Scott Baker to do a whole heck of a lot more. If they insist on playing small ball, well, that involves piranhas nibbling on opposing pitchers with plate appearances swollen with high pitch counts. Instead, we get an extra-inning game that should have been finished in the regulation nine. Neither team looked like a contender tonight.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 26, 2007 7:18 PM | Comments (2)

 

Night Of A Thousand Blunders

Filed under: Twins

The heroes of tonight's game were Vernon Wells of the Blue Jays (a homer, three hits and three RBI) and Mike Redmond (two hits and a pair of RBI) for the local nine in the Twins 8-5 loss. As for the goats, I say, what goats? Tonight, we got slapstick all over the place!

Yes, it was the Marx Brothers against the Keystone Kops, as both the Twins and Blue Jays duked it out to see who would make the most errors and outright blunders through nine. Both teams could have worn Keaton's big shoes and goofy hat, leaned precariously on Chaplin's cane, and bugged their eyes out with all the verve of Harold Lloyd dangling off a clock face. It was that kind of night. Consider:

Second inning and Torii Hunter has yet another of his baserunning exploits, bolting for second before the Jays Roy Halliday threw to his catcher. For whatever reason, Halliday didn't turn quickly enough, fired to first instead, and Torii had a stolen base in spite of himself. He would later score on Redmond's single.

In the third, Mike Redmond couldn't hold onto a called third strike and then fired to first base for the easy out... where Jeff Cirillo, having just announced yesterday that this season would be his last, let the ball carom off his glove, as Toronto's John McDonald sped to second. He was sent home by a long, long homer on the part of Vernon Wells, and the score was 2-0.

Fourth inning and Torii races to deep center on an Aaron Hill blast. In typical Mack Sennett style, he overruns the ball, pirouettes, stabs at the pill as it falls and catches the damn thing at his waist. It could only have been better if Torii fell into a trough of wet concrete or plopped onto giant cake or custard pie.

The topper in the top of the fifth: Matt Stairs lines to Cuddyer, who then tries to catch Vernon Wells off first. But the throw is off by a few inches, and it bounces recklessly past Cirillo. Now, in a normal game played by the professionals of Major League Baseball, the batter will advance only if there's no one backing up the throw, yes? That's the plan, but the best laid plans of mice and Twins often fall prey to some terrific hijinks, as the ball then squirted past a fumbling Kevin Slowey, and then dribbled under the glove of a diving Mike Redmond before resting innocently against the backstop. How often do you see a throw go on past three players? Only in the comedies, my friend, only in the comedies.

In the bottom half of the same damned inning, Roy Halliday threw a wild pitch that scored not one, but two Twins while Halliday looked on, helpless. In his dive to score, Castillo looked as though he landed on his cup first and skidded past home on the thing before he came to a grinding halt and grabbed at his crotch.

Think you can get these laffs at Vikings or Wild game? Hell no! Baseball is the sport of kings and clowns. Always has been, always will be...

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 25, 2007 8:38 PM | Comments (0)

 

Taking Care of Business

Filed under: Twins

Here's a question for you: what do Jason Bartlett, Jeff Cirillo, Nick Punto, Lew Ford, Jason Kubel, Luis Rodriguez, and Jason Tyner all have in common?

Answer: They're all hitting worse than Johan Santana!

B'dum, dah! Hey, all right, well, that's more of a lame joke than a collection of statistics that actually mean anything. Really, who knows how well our ace would hit if he were batting every day, or even every fifth game. But Santana, as if thinking, "Hell, this is my opportunity to actually give myself a 'W'", drove in a run on a triple in the second inning of today's 7-4 victory over the Florida Marlins. 'Twas his first triple ever, it was, and with that one hit in three at bats, Johan brought his average to .286, which bests the regulars listed above. More importantly, at the time the game was locked at a single run and the way things have been going this season, and that might have felt a bit daunting. But Santana did not need to exert himself in the turgid Miami heat, as the rest of the Twins, and especially Mighty Joe Mauer (who belted a pair of homers, increasing his total 200%), pushed enough men across the plate to give Santana yet another win. Ten more to go, and the guy might actually win the Cy Young.

The heat was stifling, or so they said on the radio, so much so that Michael Cuddyer became incensed over a call and was tossed. Later, the ump seemed a bit discombobulated by the humidity, and his calls were being questioned by the guys in the booth--and many players as well when the game was over. Joe Nathan commented on this, saying in essence that it's not up to him to determine balls and strikes, but he acknowledged that it was pretty steamy out there.

So now the Twins return to the air-conditioned splendor of the Metrodome for a four game set against the Toronto Blue Jays, currently but a game and half behind us in the Wild Card race. With today's win we're 38-35, exactly the same record as one year ago--and yes, I'm aware that we're but six and a half back of the Tigers instead of ten behind (as last year). But I'll feel a lot better if the wins start coming in bunches, instead of scattered about. It's not enough to say the Blue Jays are a team we have to beat... at this point, we have to beat everyone as often as possible. That's what championship-calibre teams believe.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 24, 2007 3:31 PM | Comments (0)

 

To Trade or Not to Trade? It's Not Really a Question...

Filed under: Twins

By now every Twins fan worth his salt (and any that come here for their news) should have read the Blotter post or heard that Torii Hunter spouted off to the New York Daily News about trade rumors. He added that he'd love to be in New York, or Boston, to play in what old friend David Ortiz called the "Super Bowl" of baseball (and that, in my mind, is the epitome of damning with faint praise). Local pundits are all weighing in; I might as well join the fray.

What do I want? I want Torii to stay because he's having an awesome year. I want Carl Pohlad to open his purse strings and make the team better. Despite his minions' complaints, the aged one is making money hand over fist, both from his numerous business affairs, and from the Minnesota Twins. I'll spell it out for you: there is no evidence whatsoever that the Twins have lost money recently. Or ever. A few years back there was a MLB Blue Ribbon Panel report (meaning, I guess, that it's important, not that it's sponsored by the famous beer) that showed that all the teams that didn't have new stadiums were going broke, and that the Yankees were rich. It was utter bullshit, totally unsubstantiated by any facts.

I mention this because I think it's obvious that the Twins do have money to spend, and I wish they'd keep "Spider-Man" (as the NY papers called Torii), get Sammy Sosa from the Rangers for some money and a few arms in the minors, and maybe a third baseman who can plug the ball well. And then I wish they'd really contend. I think they would with a few big-name additions, like Sosa.

You know what else I wish? Why, I wish that Torii Hunter might say "I really love Minnesota, would love to win a championship with the team, and the other night I was out driving around and realized how grotesque it is that I'm making all these millions while teachers and policemen and firefighters and nurses struggle to stay afloat. So I'll play here for whatever the Twins can afford."

We all know that ain't ever going to happen. In fact, we really know, deep down, that none of these rumors are going to pan out at all. The team you see now is pretty much the one you'll see at the end of September.

Our paradigm is as set in stone as the Ten Commandments. With the Minnesota Twins that means we claim poverty and try to win with players coming up through the minor leagues. Terry Ryan probably won't trade Hunter; he won't bring anyone in; things will remain roughly the same year after God-damned year. Maybe once in awhile he'll get lucky and get a guy like Shannon Stewart, a fellow who comes for cheap, helps out a bit, and looks so much better than he really is that he gets a few MVP votes (which was pretty amazing when you think about it.) It's exciting watching the new talent grow--grant the Twins a flair for making each season seem promising. And this is a much better model than, say, the Baltimore Orioles practiced over the last decade, throwing good money after many bad players.

Like every year, trade rumors mean little or nothing here in Minnesota (and elsewhere, really--when do they ever meet reality?). Chucking Hunter might just shake up the team, and make them realize their jobs are always on the line--firing Gardy if they don't produce might also work. But that's not our M.O. When it comes to moving the excess of minor league players the Twins grow, when it comes to buying a free agent or taking a risk on an aging big-bopper, complacency rules in Twins Territory. No matter what your wish, you can bet that the Twins will be sitting on their hands come the trading deadline.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 21, 2007 9:28 PM | Comments (0)

 

Let The Man Hit!

Filed under: Twins

Oh, so briefly: a preview of Michael Moore's Sicko kept me from tuning into the ballgame tonight. Tho' I have to admit the radio would seem like cold comfort for not giving me the vision of Burt Blyleven getting his mane sheared. You just can't beat that, can you?

So the Twins took yet another game from the long-suffering Mets, leaving me somewhat thrilled and also feeling like I'm being abused somehow. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's the fact that we take a series from a first place team, and yet it still lacks that triumphant flair. After all, we lost recently to the fucking Nationals, who were utterly creamed by the Tigers. Now we're going to Florida, and who knows what the hell's going to happen there, right? By all accounts we should win that one, but we'll probably get swept, the way this season's going.

Having missed this game to watch what should rightly be considered Moore's best film (shut the hell up, you say; you're right, this is a baseball blog), I turn instead to the box score. Here in the senior circuit, the summary's a bit more chaotic, what with the relievers being taken out for pinch hitters. Anyway, Scott Baker had a nice little night on the mound, lowering his ERA a half run (from 7.33 to 6.75), striking out three times as many batters as reigning Cy Young winner Johan Santana did in his last outing, but failing to get a single hit in one of his rare at-bats. Which, of course, is just fine.

But I will say this: does Pat Neshek, who has possibly the most unique delivery of any pitcher in the majors, have an equally bizarre batting stance? Let the guy hit when the game's out of reach in Florida, I say. Not that he had the opportunity tonight, but still, I bet the guy's as much of a freak at the plate as he is on the mound...

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 20, 2007 11:45 PM | Comments (0)

 

Slapstick!

Filed under: Twins

The great silent film comedian Buster Keaton never broke a smile in his movies. Nor, however, did he bust out weeping at his fate, which was usually cruel, but always comic. In his films, Keaton lost his true loves, couldn't find work, fell from skyscrapers eluding police, watched his house torn apart by a train, tried his damnedest to kill himself (to no avail), sailed a leaky homemade ship into the maw of a storm, and slid head over heels into home plate only to land two feet shy of scoring. Buster took his myriad hits square on the noggin, ass flying out from under him, feet in the air, and then stood up, brushed himself off, and went right on trying. It was no wonder baseball was his favorite game.

After tonight's contest, which the Twins lost 8-1 (with only five hits), your radio home of the Twins, KSTP, seemed to fall utterly apart, as if part of some Keaton comedy. First, our boys in the booth lost after-game interviewee (and first base coach) Jerry White somewhere in the guts of Shea. Then Kris Atteberry, who hosts what's called the Post-Game Download sounded utterly dispirited, mumbling about the vanishing White, mumbling that the Mets have lost 11 of 13 and that "the Twins were just what they needed" and then, best of all, mumbling that there really weren't many highlights to keep you listening after the ads. But he soldiered on, he soldiered on...

Now, every once in awhile, a team just loses. The slapstick in question wasn't on the part of the Twins themselves, who simply got knocked on the noggin. I've been grousing about the Twins for quite a few weeks now, but tonight they were fairly patient at the plate, which has not always been the case, and my usual peeve. Too often tonight, the Twins hit 'em right at hungry Mets, and that's not really anyone's fault. They made a number of dandy defensive plays, robbing the Mets of even more runs. The pitching, outside of Juan Rincon, was decent. My last post noted that the Johan's been the victim of the bad-luck, no-hit Twins with his 6-6 won-lost record; well, Carlos Silva's 4.20 ERA doesn't necessarily warrant a 4-8 won-lost record, either.

So maybe I'm getting soft or feeling charitable, but tonight I'm not loathing the Twins for letting Silva give up just four runs and take the loss. It was a nice cool night and I discovered that the Twins are great to listen to while the wife watches Buster Keaton's The Navigator on television, and the breezes calm the cats in the windowsills. Sometimes, all you can do is listen to your team hit the proverbial banana peel, and wait for them get back up again. The season's too damn long not to laugh at failure.

The Twins, as Kris Atteberry again mumbled--and not without a sense of tired, almost existential despair--now sit at 34-34, exactly the same record they had exactly one year ago. Now, the aforementioned cat-calming breezes only go so far, as I couldn't help noting that the 34-34 record last year was a marked improvement over the prior months, while this year's break-even record isn't so hot. Also, I have to point out the obvious, and that's that the Twins didn't simply fall 6.5 games behind Cleveland, and 5.5 games back of the Tigers. They are all those things, but also fifth place in the Wild Card race--behind the Tigers, Oakland, Seattle (what?) and Yankees, and but a game ahead of Toronto. So it's not so much that the Tigers cough up their lead as last year--the Twins have to win, and everyone else has got to lose as well. Still think that's going to happen?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 18, 2007 8:50 PM | Comments (0)

 

Minneapolis player places in WSOP Seven Card Stud tournament

Poker Brat Phil Hellmuth, Jr. made WSOP history last week, winning an 11th gold bracelet in a three-day, $1,500 No-Limit Texas Hold'em event at the 38th Annual World Series of Poker. Doyle Brunson and Johnny Chan, who each hold ten bracelets, were on hand to present Hellmuth with his record 11th bracelet. Hellmuth was quoted as saying, "To now be at the top of the all-time [WSOP wins] list is really about as good a feeling as I have ever had." Chippy Poker's Judd Greenagel, our man in Vegas, heard a rumor that Brunson had bet an unknown player $10,000 at 40-1 that Hellmuth would win the bracelet. Hellmuth got the bracelet and Brunson pocketed $400,000 on the bet.

Other unconfirmed rumors from one of Judd's recent communiqué's...

• Phil Hellmuth, Jr. won almost $20,000 from Brunson in a putting contest during a break in an earlier tournament in the Poker Royalty Suite
• Vinny Vinh finished Day 1 of the $1000 Rebuy NLHE event with the second-highest chip count, but failed to show up for Day 2 and was blinded out in 20th place; Rumors flying around the Rio and on poker websites speculate drugs may have had something to do with Vinh's absence
• Daniel Negreanu has signed on as a member of Team Poker Stars, and his site, Full Contact Poker, will merge with PokerStars.com
• Canterbury Park regular Nez Coburn from Minneapolis placed second in a Seven Card Stud tournament

Posted by Corey Anderson at June 18, 2007 10:34 AM | Comments (0)

 

The Bad News About the Best Pitcher in Baseball

Filed under: Twins

So I'm going to rain on the parade again...

I don't have to tell you to check out G.R. Anderson's Jr., esq., superior article on Johan Santana. If you venture this way for some opinion about the noble sport, well, then you no doubt check out the longer, well-written and researched stories in this paper, too. At least I hope you do.

But I have to say that G.R.'s piece left me feeling kinda sad, especially after last-evening's troubling victory. Troubling? Yes, troubling. You might ask: how could an awesome comeback against a very-good Braves team, where the Twins flailed against their ace, went down by two runs, and then popped back in the ninth to win it 3-2 possibly trouble you?

Well, that game troubles me because it affects the subject of the aforementioned article. G.R. asks this question to open the story: "Does he (Johan) have a third Cy Young up his sleeve?"

Personally, I don't think he does. Of course, I'm about to tell you why. The reason is because Johan Santana--whom G.R. rightly posits is the best pitcher in baseball, a rarity, a once-in-a-generation hurler--won't win the Cy Young because the Cy Young is all about looking at a pitcher's statistics, determining who is the cream of the crop, and then weighing his won-lost record so heavily that that's what cops the prize. And I'm not certain our man is going to win twelve of his next twenty starts. Which is what he needs to win that coveted award.

Let's suppose Santana has his typical year--pretty good at the beginning, and then amazing in the second half. I don't say that it could happen, I'm sincerely believing that this will happen. Santana is showing no signs that he's not going to blast through this year like he has in the past. The guy's remarkably consistent, and even this year, he's looking good. Check out these stats (after fourteen starts):

In 04, Johan was 4-4 with a 4.84 ERA.
05, our ace was 7-2 with a 3.32 ERA.
06, 6-4 with a 2.99 ERA.
And this year, 6-6 with a 3.19 ERA.

What's amazing to me about those numbers is that in 05, the year he should have won his second Cy Young, he had the best won-lost record (at this point) in this span. So this year, Mr. Johan Santana, with his 6-6 won-lost record, his 3.19 ERA, his 105 K's (don't know if that's before or after last evening's contest) might just watch his next Cy young go 'poof', all because of his record. The guy's but one loss away from matching the most losses in a seaon... which was 16-7 in 2005, the year he lost out to Bartolo Colon, who didn't deserve the award. I mean, there's no comparison: Colon won more games than Santana. But Santana had a better ERA, more strikeouts, same number of walks, more innings pitched, better opponent batting average and OBP, and so on and so on. He beat or tied Colon in every category... except wins. Which is really out of the pitcher's hands.

Johan has roughly twenty starts left to the season. If history is our guide, he'll need to win at least twelve of those to win the Cy--no starting pitcher in the American League has won a Cy Young with less than eighteen victories (not including the strike-shortened 1994 campaign). Ever.

Santana's going to have another marvelous season to be sure, but grabbing twelve wins out of the next twenty starts is not something he controls entirely. The Twins bats have as much to do with his next Cy. Can they help him win his third?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 15, 2007 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

 

All the Young Dudes

Filed under: MLB

With garbage blowing across the infield and seagulls moseying between first and home, the Detroit Tigers Justin Verlander threw a no-hitter against the Milwaukee Brewers. It was the first no-no for the Bengals since Jack Morris tossed one in their World Championship season of 1984. A career-high twelve strikeouts for the lad, who is racing through his second season as if ignorant of something called the sophomore jinx.

You might ask, why the living mother of Jesus should I care? Well, I bring this up because, first of all, I'm still a Tigers fan, transplanted from the great, though endlessly cloudy, state of Michigan. But I raise the issue to reiterate what I still consider is folly on the part of the Twins: keeping Garza in the minors to save money in the year 2010. Look at the Tigers: instead of allowing Verlander to languish in the minors, thus saving the team many dollars in arbitration and free-agent money, well, Detroit brought him up quickly, in the hopes of, what? Oh, make it to the World Series (that old thing). Dude started in the minors the same year as our own young fresh fellow, Matt Garza, but Mr. Verlander already has one full, rookie-of-the-year season and a no-hitter under his belt.

I do know that Garza's no Verlander. But as I mentioned before, the guy (Garza, that is) would be better on the mound--the Metrodome mound, that is--than Ortiz, Silva, or Ponson (of the Aruban I think we're all on the same page). Even if the youth falters, its part of his continued development. When Ortiz flutters and fails, well, that's him at the end of his rope.

If the Twins are going to penny-pinch forever, even after the new digs are built, well, I for one feel cheated. Get the kids up here, and do it quickly. Even if the season's a bust. Maybe next year we'll be just that good. If Garza's so great he'll be draining Pohlad's bank account, well, as one notable put it, that's great.

Anyway, tonight one of our pups worked wonders (and yes, I consider the Twins my team). Mr. Kevin Slowey, fresh from the minors, working his third start against the Atlanta Braves. Six innings, seven scattered hits, two earned runs, and the 'W'. Uh, one measly strikeout. Whatever. We'll take it. But I'd still love a four man rotation that begins with Santana, works through Boof and Slowey, and closes with Garza. Might be interesting, it might.

Oh, and check out Kevin Slowey's photo at ESPN. Mysterious, contemplative, but can he see into the future?!?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 12, 2007 10:19 PM | Comments (0)

 

Minnesota Thunder opens U.S. Open Cup campaign

Filed under: Soccer

The Minnesota Thunder took some more lumps over the weekend. They squeezed out a nil-nil draw on Saturday night at the California Victory, but then were soundly dispatched by the Vancouver Whitecaps last night. Only a heroic performance from goalkeeper Nic Platter kept the game close. The team has now dropped to a dismal 1-6-4.

The sole bright side for the squad is that eight of the first eleven games have been played on the road. In fact their road record is a semi-respectable 1-3-4, good enough for seven points. That's actually equal to the team's total road points for all of last season. The problem is that the Thunder have dropped all three contests at home. If the 2007 campaign isn't going to be a complete debacle they'll have to drastically improve their home form.

The team will get their first shot at righting the ship tomorrow night at The Jimmy when they take on the El Paso Indios USA in the first round of the U.S. Open Cup. This 94-year-old tournament is open to pretty much any pro or semi-pro club in the country. Two years ago the Thunder made a thrilling run to the semifinals, knocking off three MLS teams by a rather astounding combined score of 13-6.

Last year, by contrast, the Thunder crapped out in the first round, losing to the lowly Des Moines Menace despite playing much of the game with a man advantage. I'd just returned from the World Cup in Germany. Watching that pathetic Open Cup game in a nearly empty stadium was more depressing than witnessing the U.S. flail miserably on the world stage. It was just godawful.

Following tomorrow night's date with El Paso, the Thunder will have five straight regular season home matches. Hopefully it's not too late to salvage the season.

After the Open Cup match folks will be gathering to watch the U.S.-El Salvador Gold Cup game at the Sweetwater on tape delay. Viewing should commence about 9:30. The U.S. has already secured passage to the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF championship with wins over Trinidad & Tobago and Guatemala. A tie or a victory tomorrow night will guarantee that they win their group.

Mexico, meanwhile, is hilariously close to not making it out of the group stage. After getting humiliated by Honduras, they'll need a result against Panama on Wednesday.

Posted by Paul Demko at June 11, 2007 3:54 PM | Comments (2)

 

Tough Cookies

Filed under: Twins

I just don't fucking get it. It's one thing for the Twins to lose to the Angels and the A's in California; it's another thing altogether for them to lose to the Washington Nationals, the worst team in the National League (and probably both leagues, if we're honest) at home. At home!

Saturday, as you should be pretty damned well aware of now, they lost in monumental fashion. Oh, it was only 3-1. We had but a pair of hits. Great pitchers duel, yes? Er, no.

In what appeared to be a not-so-daring act of capitulation, the Nats threw former Twins farmhand Levale Speigner on the mound against Johan Santana. Speigner who? Why, this youth was left unprotected in the Rule 5 draft by the Twins, was plucked by the D.C. crew, and, thanks to MLB rules, had to be on the Nationals major league roster. He entered the game with an ERA above 14. 14.44 I think it was, but I could be wrong and I'm too bewildered and angry to look it up.

A fourteen run ERA. Think about that for a minute. If this dude took the mound for nine full, then the Nationals would have to score fifteen fucking runs to win a game. And yet, on Saturday, on a game the Twins could have, and should have, won, he limits the Twins to two hits. Wow.

This is important news because it was pretty much a year ago this weekend that the Twins began their amazing turnaround. At game 59, we were 26-33, eleven back from the surprising Tigers. With Baltimore in town, we took two of three, and began a streak of 20 wins in 22 games.

I don't care about Sunday's victory, because winning one of three against the Nationals would be a disgrace even for the St. Paul Saints. We looked lousy in two games, mediocre against mediocrity in the third. Raise your hands if you think a comeback'll happen this year. If your hand's up, go stand in a corner, face to the wall, with the Hold Steady's "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" looping for an hour. With that penance out of the way, maybe reality will finally sink in. For losing two of three to the Nationals, the fucking Nationals for Christ's sake!, and getting a pair of hits off a kid with a fourteen run ERA, well, it don't look good. It just don't look good...

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 10, 2007 3:12 PM | Comments (1)

 

There You Go, Kid

Filed under: Twins

Well, if that don't beat all. Kevin Slowey went five innings and gave up four earned runs, but gol-dinged bust-it if he didn't get the 'W'. Little Nicky Punto and Jason Bartlett each hit a home run--their first of the season! Joe Nathan got lucky save number 13, and Pat Neshek, well, jeez, the guy is awesome.

After today's 8-5 victory over the Los Angeles Angels, Neshek's probably got enough material for his blog. I said earlier that Mike Redmond's the coolest Twin this year--I was wrong. Between Neshek's crazy delivery, his outsanding success and his blog, well, the world of Minnesota baseball is divided between Redmond and Neshek.

So it was a banner day for the youths. First home runs, first victories, everyone on the same page. The Twins finally won a game in the cozy, comfy confines of Angel Stadium. That's how you do it, boys, that's how you do it. Some production at the top, bottom and heart of the order. Now we get to come on home and batter the not-so-incredible Washington Nationals. So there's hope. Yeah, God damn it, there's always hope until mid-September. Then it usually turns to dried bat guano.

I doubt there's any tears about today's Angels loss in the fair city of Anaheim. The Mighty Ducks, who get their name from what is rightly considered one of the classic trilogies of world cinema, have finally won their first Stanley Cup, giving hope to all the young boys who spend their winters shooting pucks in the backyards that their doting parents flooded and watched freeze. Of course, since Anaheim doesn't really have a downtown (and therefore no major center where fans can gather and watch their team hoist the trophy), the Ducks will probably resort to what the Angels did in '02, namely, have a rally in the parking lot of the stadium, and then a parade in Disneyland. It only costs $45 to watch the latter. But it was free to stand in the parking lot.

To paraphrase Vonnegut (in Slapstick): Good for them.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 6, 2007 10:26 PM | Comments (0)

 

Up in roulette, down in poker at the WSOP

Filed under: Poker

Chippy Poker proprietor Judd Greenagel has fired off another update on how a few Minnesotans are playing at the World Series of Poker, currently underway in Las Vegas. The WSOP has gain popularity over the past few years, leading to long lines of Doyle Brunson wannabes forking over the $1,000s to enter the events. Greenagel had to do a little palm-greasing just to get his car parked. Feel free to shake your head as to why he rented a car in Las Vegas in the first place.

Greenagel reports a minor controversy has erupted over the WSOP's choice of the "PokerPeek" playing cards made by Bicycle. Some players feel the face designs have made 6s and 9s indistinguishable, prompting many to ask for refunds of their entry fees. Greenagel played with the cards in a Casino Employee Event and was not a fan. Rumor has it the cards will be replaced in upcoming events.

Of course, Greenagel didn't spend too much time playing with the new cards. Fifteen minutes into the Casino Employee Event, he went all in with his A-K against an A-Q and was out-drawn. Greenagel believes only one of the four Chippy Poker players is still in the tournament, the field already cut in half. As far as star sightings go, Greenagel noticed a table in a $5,000 buy-in event occupied by Daniel Negreanu, Phil Ivey, Johnny Chan, and some other poor saps who had the misfortune of ending up at the same table as those heavy-hitters.

Greenagel plans on entering the $1,500 No Limit Event, but should consider switching to roulette. Greenagel claims he made up for his play at the poker tables by hitting his number five out of ten times while waiting for his crew as they were signing up for WSOP events. And on his way out of the Casino Employee Event, Greenagel quickly picked up his car from the VIP area, leaving four-time WPT title holder Gus Hansen wandering around the lot looking for his wheels.

Check back for future updates from the World Series of Poker!

Posted by Corey Anderson at June 6, 2007 3:35 PM | Comments (0)

 

Joys of the Noble Sport

Filed under: MLB

Chuck Terhark has written a nice piece for the CP proper, detailing the joys of Twins baseball "hidden between the lines" of the game. He means, of course, the little things that make this lovely game such a pleasure no matter where your team stands in the standings.

Pay attention, for we all know that there's a decent chance that the Twins will fail to make it this year, or even rise above third or fourth place, and musings such as these help us all to endure. (This is good info for fans of every team--the Tigers and Indians could tank as well. And the Yankees, well, they haven't had to deal with this crap for a long time...) If you're a baseball fan, and not from New York, you've experienced these pleasures firsthand: a season that loses its promise early, leaving you with literally dozens and dozens of games to either trudge through or appreciate with a patience of a bird-watcher in a Louisiana swamp.

Chuck includes a list (scroll down the article) of all the things he loves about the Twins that really aren't even about the Twins. If you actually waited up until nearly midnight last evening, only to watch the Twins drop another game with little offensive fireworks, you're probably in need of some kind of tonic to ease the burden on your soul. Then again, if there's any truth to what the Angel fans said in the comments to yesterday's entry, maybe you're so damned depressed that you don't live in sunny suburbs of the City of Quartz that nothing will raise your spirits.

No one asked for it, but here's my favorite moments between the lines:

- Driving around the lakes with the windows down, that organic smell of fish and foliage filling your car, and the sounds of a baseball game from the radio.
- Reading the baseball news the next day with a cup of coffee. For that matter, reading about baseball all season is a joy.
- I cannot deny CT's adoration of the Hormel Row of Fame song.
- Getting pushed out the doors of the Dome after a game by gusts of pressurized wind (if they don't force everyone through the revolving doors).
- Even though I wish we had an open-air stadium, there's nothing better than the sound of a monster thunderstorm blasting away at the roof. Or the changing light patterns on a partly cloudy afternoon game.
- Section 113. Games against Seattle. Tons of Japanese there to worship Ichiro. Scores of undoubtedly awful digital photos and movies. Inevitably, one will purchase a flaccid foot-long hot dog that appears as if its owner has emptied every bottle of condiments between first base and his seat in left. And manages not to spill a drop. Happens every time.
- Again, I can't help but agree that Mike Redmond's cool.
- Those lucky kids announcing players.
- Hot dogs. I will concede to Angels fans that Dodger Dogs are the worse wieners in baseball (that I've tasted).
- Watching the scores around the league during the game.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 6, 2007 7:44 AM | Comments (5)

 

Angels With Dirty Faces

Filed under: MLB

I hate the Los Angeles, California Angels of Anaheim. If you've never visited Angel Stadium, it sits surrounded by highways and tract homes, in the faceless suburb of Anaheim. Anaheim, of course, was royally screwed over something as small as a name: The Angels Baseball Corporation agreed to call themselves "The Anaheim Angels" in exchange for over $100 million of ballpark upgrades. This would, in the mind of the city fathers, no doubt good men and women who have the sprinkler systems on their lawns timed perfectly, improve the image of the city, and put Anaheim on the map.

The city held up its end, new owners arrived (having bought the team from Disney, whose themepark sits in Anaheim--have I convinced you that this is hell on earth yet?), and promptly dumped "Anaheim" to the end. The suburb was furious, but the owners got away with it. They always do.

But God damn it all, this team is just so damned uninteresting, historically, and, to me, in the present. Rally monkeys and thunderstix. A cavernous stadium that is no comparison to lovely Dodger Stadium. Sure, The Angels are playing great, they have the best record at home (a whopping 23-8, which includes last evening's drumming of the Twins, 16-3), and a number of awesome players. But I fucking hate 'em. The Angels represent suburban baseball at its worst. It's almost 30 miles from L.A. and with traffic takes longer than it would for you or I to mosey down to Rochester for lunch in the Mayo Clinic cafeteria.

Baseball is more than just its personalities on the field--it's also where those personalities play, what they mean to their community, and, in the mind of this fan, how they build upon their history. When this club won it big a few years ago, all they could talk about was Gene Autry. That's history?

Then again, maybe I just hate these bums because I associate them with Jim Jones. My Grandma, who lived somewhere in the vast expanse of L.A., sent me an Angels cap, perhaps to counter my Grandpa's giving me a Dodgers hat (they were divorced; he also lived in L.A.;I enjoyed the largess, but the Dodgers remain my National League team.) Unfortunately, I received it on the same day that I watched footage of Jonestown, and I swear those bloated bodies pop into my head whenever I see an Angels game.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 5, 2007 7:55 AM | Comments (13)

 

Local Hold'em players descend on Las Vegas for the World Series of Poker

Filed under: Poker

Judd Greenagel, F.O.B. (friend of Balls) and co-owner of Chippy Poker, the company that holds free Texas Hold'em tournaments in area bars, hit Las Vegas last Wednesday with a few Chippy regulars to participate in the World Series of Poker. Greenagel agreed to send Balls a few updates on how the Minnesota contingent was faring in the biggest poker tournament of the year. Events include Texas Hold'em Limit, Omaha Pot Limit, 7-Card-Stud Hi/Lo, Pot Limit, No Limit, among others, with the winner of each event earning the coveted World Series of Poker Gold Bracelet. The winner of the Main Event is crowned World Champion.

Greenagel started at the No-Limit Hold'em tourney hosted by the South Point Hotel and Casino, and in the first five hours, built up his chip stack by $900. "The first hand I won an $800 pot on a flop of 8, 9, J—all hearts." Two players before Greenagel went all in, and he followed. The first player held an A-2 of hearts for the nut flush. Player two had three 9's. Both were a bit shocked when Greenagel turned over a 7-10 of hearts for a straight flush. "It's nice to not have to worry about the turn and river in a pot like that," Greenagel said.

The other notable hand of the day came when Greenagel went all in holding 6-6 after the flop came 6-3-9. Another player holding 9-9 called. Greenagel turned to the short-stacked player and predicted they would see another 6 before the end of the hand, and indeed, a 6 of hearts came on the turn, giving Greenagel four of a kind. By 8pm, Greenagel had lost about $400 of his profit and decided to take a break.

Check back for future updates from the World Series of Poker!

Posted by Corey Anderson at June 4, 2007 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

 

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (Theme to "Those Darn Twins!")

Filed under: Twins

The good news about this weekend's series with the Oakland A's is that our pitching staff, ranked fourth in the league, gave up only seven runs in three games.

The bad news is that we faced the best staff in the league, and scored only five runs, losing two of three.

The good news is that Kevin Slowey, up from Rochester, New York and looking very much like some kind of meditative cowboy, threw, in his major league debut, six strong innings and gave up but a run.

The bad news is that that gutsy performance didn't give him a win. It took the Twins ten damned innings to squeeze out a victory, and credit went to Pat Neshek.

The good news is that, in game two, Carlos Silva threw a complete-game gem, giving up but a run and scattering five hits.

The bad news is that, once again, we couldn't score. Not even a run, so Silva got caught in the tangled web of defeat. Which really, really sucks.

The good news is that in the third game Johan Santana took the mound and... oh for God's sake, it's obvious where I'm going with this. Our ace wasn't pretty, gave up four runs (and an equal number of walks!), and we scored two. You do the math.

There's an old saw in baseball that says that "good pitching beats good hitting", and that's generally true. Unfortunately, the Twins proved that there's often times when an adage must be expanded. Here, it was "good hitting beats bad hitting if the pitching's roughly the same." So it went this weekend in the cavernous home of the Oakland Athletics. Twenty-three stranded runners this weekend, five fucking runs. You can't win anything that way, in the majors, the minors, or an after-work beer-and-burgers league. Oh, it's not as if the Athletics were dominating--far from it. Their hitters looked fairly creaky, after all, not scoring much themselves. Do either one of these teams want to make the playoffs this year? They sure aren't acting like it.

God damn, this was a teeth-gnashing weekend. Pitching duels are great, but both parties looked like shit when guys got on. Yesterday's matinee and we had guys on third with one out twice in the early goings, and we failed to score. (Even worse is the fact that it was the meat of the order that did the flailing--Morneau grounded into a dp in the first, and Cuddyer struck out and Hunter popped up in the third).

When Cuddyer struck out again with guys on second and third in the sixth, I remembered Gardy saying, quite a few days ago, that Joe Mauer would certainly return at some point during the last Chicago series. Obviously, that didn't happen. What's going on with this guy? Then I was reminded of the heckler at the Dome, wailing for Joe Mauer, wondering where his savior was hiding. We could have used him this weekend--Mauer, that is, though the heckler might have helped, too.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 3, 2007 6:33 PM | Comments (0)

 

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