OK, now that was a good game. You had Frank Thomas (The Tank Engine) blasting his 500th home run, and the Twins won anyway. Our boys fell behind quickly in the first and then, nonplussed, shut the lid on the Blue Jays in commanding fashion, playing small-ball and Earl Weaver style basher-ball to come back and win 8-5. And that's just awesome.

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The Toronto Blue Jays and The Minnesota Twins, wrestling for possession of fourth place in the Wild Card race (with the mighty Oakland Athletics), were like a pair of samurai this evening, each desperately trying to push the other out of the chalk ring without success. Behold: Scott Baker and Shaun Marcum pitched very good games and watched as their respective clubs could only score a run apiece. Baker's was a particularly impressive performance, going seven full innings, giving up a run and striking out nine. This type of performance should be rewarded with a Win for the young hurler, right? Not in Twins Territory...

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The heroes of tonight's game were Vernon Wells of the Blue Jays (a homer, three hits and three RBI) and Mike Redmond (two hits and a pair of RBI) for the local nine in the Twins 8-5 loss. As for the goats, I say, what goats? Tonight, we got slapstick all over the place!

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Here's a question for you: what do Jason Bartlett, Jeff Cirillo, Nick Punto, Lew Ford, Jason Kubel, Luis Rodriguez, and Jason Tyner all have in common?

Answer: They're all hitting worse than Johan Santana!

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By now every Twins fan worth his salt (and any that come here for their news) should have read the Blotter post or heard that Torii Hunter spouted off to the New York Daily News about trade rumors. He added that he'd love to be in New York, or Boston, to play in what old friend David Ortiz called the "Super Bowl" of baseball (and that, in my mind, is the epitome of damning with faint praise). Local pundits are all weighing in; I might as well join the fray.

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Oh, so briefly: a preview of Michael Moore's Sicko kept me from tuning into the ballgame tonight. Tho' I have to admit the radio would seem like cold comfort for not giving me the vision of Burt Blyleven getting his mane sheared. You just can't beat that, can you?

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The great silent film comedian Buster Keaton never broke a smile in his movies. Nor, however, did he bust out weeping at his fate, which was usually cruel, but always comic. In his films, Keaton lost his true loves, couldn't find work, fell from skyscrapers eluding police, watched his house torn apart by a train, tried his damnedest to kill himself (to no avail), sailed a leaky homemade ship into the maw of a storm, and slid head over heels into home plate only to land two feet shy of scoring. Buster took his myriad hits square on the noggin, ass flying out from under him, feet in the air, and then stood up, brushed himself off, and went right on trying. It was no wonder baseball was his favorite game.

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Poker Brat Phil Hellmuth, Jr. made WSOP history last week, winning an 11th gold bracelet in a three-day, $1,500 No-Limit Texas Hold'em event at the 38th Annual World Series of Poker. Doyle Brunson and Johnny Chan, who each hold ten bracelets, were on hand to present Hellmuth with his record 11th bracelet. Hellmuth was quoted as saying, "To now be at the top of the all-time [WSOP wins] list is really about as good a feeling as I have ever had." Chippy Poker's Judd Greenagel, our man in Vegas, heard a rumor that Brunson had bet an unknown player $10,000 at 40-1 that Hellmuth would win the bracelet. Hellmuth got the bracelet and Brunson pocketed $400,000 on the bet.

Other unconfirmed rumors from one of Judd's recent communiqué's...

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So I'm going to rain on the parade again...

I don't have to tell you to check out G.R. Anderson's Jr., esq., superior article on Johan Santana. If you venture this way for some opinion about the noble sport, well, then you no doubt check out the longer, well-written and researched stories in this paper, too. At least I hope you do.

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With garbage blowing across the infield and seagulls moseying between first and home, the Detroit Tigers Justin Verlander threw a no-hitter against the Milwaukee Brewers. It was the first no-no for the Bengals since Jack Morris tossed one in their World Championship season of 1984. A career-high twelve strikeouts for the lad, who is racing through his second season as if ignorant of something called the sophomore jinx.

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