June 17, 2007 - June 23, 2007

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To Trade or Not to Trade? It's Not Really a Question...

Filed under: Twins

By now every Twins fan worth his salt (and any that come here for their news) should have read the Blotter post or heard that Torii Hunter spouted off to the New York Daily News about trade rumors. He added that he'd love to be in New York, or Boston, to play in what old friend David Ortiz called the "Super Bowl" of baseball (and that, in my mind, is the epitome of damning with faint praise). Local pundits are all weighing in; I might as well join the fray.

What do I want? I want Torii to stay because he's having an awesome year. I want Carl Pohlad to open his purse strings and make the team better. Despite his minions' complaints, the aged one is making money hand over fist, both from his numerous business affairs, and from the Minnesota Twins. I'll spell it out for you: there is no evidence whatsoever that the Twins have lost money recently. Or ever. A few years back there was a MLB Blue Ribbon Panel report (meaning, I guess, that it's important, not that it's sponsored by the famous beer) that showed that all the teams that didn't have new stadiums were going broke, and that the Yankees were rich. It was utter bullshit, totally unsubstantiated by any facts.

I mention this because I think it's obvious that the Twins do have money to spend, and I wish they'd keep "Spider-Man" (as the NY papers called Torii), get Sammy Sosa from the Rangers for some money and a few arms in the minors, and maybe a third baseman who can plug the ball well. And then I wish they'd really contend. I think they would with a few big-name additions, like Sosa.

You know what else I wish? Why, I wish that Torii Hunter might say "I really love Minnesota, would love to win a championship with the team, and the other night I was out driving around and realized how grotesque it is that I'm making all these millions while teachers and policemen and firefighters and nurses struggle to stay afloat. So I'll play here for whatever the Twins can afford."

We all know that ain't ever going to happen. In fact, we really know, deep down, that none of these rumors are going to pan out at all. The team you see now is pretty much the one you'll see at the end of September.

Our paradigm is as set in stone as the Ten Commandments. With the Minnesota Twins that means we claim poverty and try to win with players coming up through the minor leagues. Terry Ryan probably won't trade Hunter; he won't bring anyone in; things will remain roughly the same year after God-damned year. Maybe once in awhile he'll get lucky and get a guy like Shannon Stewart, a fellow who comes for cheap, helps out a bit, and looks so much better than he really is that he gets a few MVP votes (which was pretty amazing when you think about it.) It's exciting watching the new talent grow--grant the Twins a flair for making each season seem promising. And this is a much better model than, say, the Baltimore Orioles practiced over the last decade, throwing good money after many bad players.

Like every year, trade rumors mean little or nothing here in Minnesota (and elsewhere, really--when do they ever meet reality?). Chucking Hunter might just shake up the team, and make them realize their jobs are always on the line--firing Gardy if they don't produce might also work. But that's not our M.O. When it comes to moving the excess of minor league players the Twins grow, when it comes to buying a free agent or taking a risk on an aging big-bopper, complacency rules in Twins Territory. No matter what your wish, you can bet that the Twins will be sitting on their hands come the trading deadline.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 21, 2007 9:28 PM | Comments (0)

 

Let The Man Hit!

Filed under: Twins

Oh, so briefly: a preview of Michael Moore's Sicko kept me from tuning into the ballgame tonight. Tho' I have to admit the radio would seem like cold comfort for not giving me the vision of Burt Blyleven getting his mane sheared. You just can't beat that, can you?

So the Twins took yet another game from the long-suffering Mets, leaving me somewhat thrilled and also feeling like I'm being abused somehow. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's the fact that we take a series from a first place team, and yet it still lacks that triumphant flair. After all, we lost recently to the fucking Nationals, who were utterly creamed by the Tigers. Now we're going to Florida, and who knows what the hell's going to happen there, right? By all accounts we should win that one, but we'll probably get swept, the way this season's going.

Having missed this game to watch what should rightly be considered Moore's best film (shut the hell up, you say; you're right, this is a baseball blog), I turn instead to the box score. Here in the senior circuit, the summary's a bit more chaotic, what with the relievers being taken out for pinch hitters. Anyway, Scott Baker had a nice little night on the mound, lowering his ERA a half run (from 7.33 to 6.75), striking out three times as many batters as reigning Cy Young winner Johan Santana did in his last outing, but failing to get a single hit in one of his rare at-bats. Which, of course, is just fine.

But I will say this: does Pat Neshek, who has possibly the most unique delivery of any pitcher in the majors, have an equally bizarre batting stance? Let the guy hit when the game's out of reach in Florida, I say. Not that he had the opportunity tonight, but still, I bet the guy's as much of a freak at the plate as he is on the mound...

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 20, 2007 11:45 PM | Comments (0)

 

Slapstick!

Filed under: Twins

The great silent film comedian Buster Keaton never broke a smile in his movies. Nor, however, did he bust out weeping at his fate, which was usually cruel, but always comic. In his films, Keaton lost his true loves, couldn't find work, fell from skyscrapers eluding police, watched his house torn apart by a train, tried his damnedest to kill himself (to no avail), sailed a leaky homemade ship into the maw of a storm, and slid head over heels into home plate only to land two feet shy of scoring. Buster took his myriad hits square on the noggin, ass flying out from under him, feet in the air, and then stood up, brushed himself off, and went right on trying. It was no wonder baseball was his favorite game.

After tonight's contest, which the Twins lost 8-1 (with only five hits), your radio home of the Twins, KSTP, seemed to fall utterly apart, as if part of some Keaton comedy. First, our boys in the booth lost after-game interviewee (and first base coach) Jerry White somewhere in the guts of Shea. Then Kris Atteberry, who hosts what's called the Post-Game Download sounded utterly dispirited, mumbling about the vanishing White, mumbling that the Mets have lost 11 of 13 and that "the Twins were just what they needed" and then, best of all, mumbling that there really weren't many highlights to keep you listening after the ads. But he soldiered on, he soldiered on...

Now, every once in awhile, a team just loses. The slapstick in question wasn't on the part of the Twins themselves, who simply got knocked on the noggin. I've been grousing about the Twins for quite a few weeks now, but tonight they were fairly patient at the plate, which has not always been the case, and my usual peeve. Too often tonight, the Twins hit 'em right at hungry Mets, and that's not really anyone's fault. They made a number of dandy defensive plays, robbing the Mets of even more runs. The pitching, outside of Juan Rincon, was decent. My last post noted that the Johan's been the victim of the bad-luck, no-hit Twins with his 6-6 won-lost record; well, Carlos Silva's 4.20 ERA doesn't necessarily warrant a 4-8 won-lost record, either.

So maybe I'm getting soft or feeling charitable, but tonight I'm not loathing the Twins for letting Silva give up just four runs and take the loss. It was a nice cool night and I discovered that the Twins are great to listen to while the wife watches Buster Keaton's The Navigator on television, and the breezes calm the cats in the windowsills. Sometimes, all you can do is listen to your team hit the proverbial banana peel, and wait for them get back up again. The season's too damn long not to laugh at failure.

The Twins, as Kris Atteberry again mumbled--and not without a sense of tired, almost existential despair--now sit at 34-34, exactly the same record they had exactly one year ago. Now, the aforementioned cat-calming breezes only go so far, as I couldn't help noting that the 34-34 record last year was a marked improvement over the prior months, while this year's break-even record isn't so hot. Also, I have to point out the obvious, and that's that the Twins didn't simply fall 6.5 games behind Cleveland, and 5.5 games back of the Tigers. They are all those things, but also fifth place in the Wild Card race--behind the Tigers, Oakland, Seattle (what?) and Yankees, and but a game ahead of Toronto. So it's not so much that the Tigers cough up their lead as last year--the Twins have to win, and everyone else has got to lose as well. Still think that's going to happen?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 18, 2007 8:50 PM | Comments (0)

 

Minneapolis player places in WSOP Seven Card Stud tournament

Poker Brat Phil Hellmuth, Jr. made WSOP history last week, winning an 11th gold bracelet in a three-day, $1,500 No-Limit Texas Hold'em event at the 38th Annual World Series of Poker. Doyle Brunson and Johnny Chan, who each hold ten bracelets, were on hand to present Hellmuth with his record 11th bracelet. Hellmuth was quoted as saying, "To now be at the top of the all-time [WSOP wins] list is really about as good a feeling as I have ever had." Chippy Poker's Judd Greenagel, our man in Vegas, heard a rumor that Brunson had bet an unknown player $10,000 at 40-1 that Hellmuth would win the bracelet. Hellmuth got the bracelet and Brunson pocketed $400,000 on the bet.

Other unconfirmed rumors from one of Judd's recent communiqué's...

• Phil Hellmuth, Jr. won almost $20,000 from Brunson in a putting contest during a break in an earlier tournament in the Poker Royalty Suite
• Vinny Vinh finished Day 1 of the $1000 Rebuy NLHE event with the second-highest chip count, but failed to show up for Day 2 and was blinded out in 20th place; Rumors flying around the Rio and on poker websites speculate drugs may have had something to do with Vinh's absence
• Daniel Negreanu has signed on as a member of Team Poker Stars, and his site, Full Contact Poker, will merge with PokerStars.com
• Canterbury Park regular Nez Coburn from Minneapolis placed second in a Seven Card Stud tournament

Posted by Corey Anderson at June 18, 2007 10:34 AM | Comments (0)

 

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