July 8, 2007 - July 14, 2007

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David Beckham urinates on U.S. soil

Filed under: Soccer

David Beckham has arrived. He was just unveiled at the Home Depot Center. There have been a lot of very silly words printed about Beckham and what his arrival will mean for soccer in the U.S. Most of these articles raise the question of whether footyball will ever catch on in this country. (See this AP piece for a particularly tedious example of the genre.)

Here's a newsflash: soccer is already thriving in this country. MLS is here to stay. All the angry old white guys that staff the sports desks of daily newspapers will have to find some other bogeyman to foam at the mouth about. The only article you need to read about Beckham is by SI's Grant Wahl. He's the best soccer scribe on the planet.

More importantly, the U.S. under-20 squad is still alive in the World Cup. They gutted out a 2-1 comeback victory over Uruguay on Wednesday night. Freddy Adu was once again the catalyst, setting up both goals with sterling corner kicks. Michael Bradley bungled in the gamewinner in the 107th minute. The kids will face Austria in the quarterfinals tomorrow at 1 p.m. CST. Folks will be gathering locally to watch at the Sweetwater.

Don't miss this sweet, beautifully written story about the Ivory Coast, Didier Drogba, and the end of that country's brutal civil war. (Cribbed, of course, from the greatest soccer blog on the planet, Du Nord.)

Finally the mighty Minnesota Thunder are back in action at The Jimmy this Sunday at 5 p.m. They take on the Montreal Impact (6-3-6). Amos Magee's squad is still mired at the foot of the table with a record of 2-6-5. Despite this dismal record, they've only been outscored by a margin of 15-10. So I remain delusionally optimistic.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 13, 2007 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Balls silent while we move servers

Balls will be moving to another server beginning Wednesday afternoon. We hope to begin updating within 24 hours. Thanks for your patience.

The Management

Photo from I Can Has Cheezburger?

Posted by Corey Anderson at July 11, 2007 3:01 PM | Comments (0)

 

Watch U.S. v. Uruguay tonight

Filed under: Soccer

The U.S. under 20 squad, having notched nine goals in three opening round matches, takes on Uruguay tonight in the knockout stage of the World Cup. The game is only being shown on ESPNU, unfortunately. Folks will be gathering locally at the Sweetwater Grille & Bar in St. Paul to watch. Kickoff is 6:30 CST.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 11, 2007 12:49 PM | Comments (2)

 

American Freakshow

Filed under: MLB

I haven't watched the All-Star game in years and years. I last caught the thing the year Selig declared the game a tie, and then the next season made it the determinant for home field advantage in the Fall Classic, something I'm sure Tampa Bay's Carl Crawford cares buckets about. Tonight's 5-4 American League victory, the tenth in a row (not counting the one that "didn't count") did nothing to lessen my conflicted feelings about the All-Star game, and baseball in general. Tonight, I couldn't help but notice that this beautiful game of ours is plagued with some bizarre and unhealthy personalities, who literally referred to themselves tonight as distant and untouchable. And they meant that as a compliment.

Now, to be honest I am personally very little interested in getting too close to the characters that take to the field. It's interesting to read about these guys' careers, how they struggled to get to the game, what they do to hit a wicked curve. My favorites over the years have included jailbird Ron LeFlore, Ted Williams, the Negro Leaguers, and Dmitri Young's spate of troubles. Those guys have some good stories. But during this All-Star game, I came to realize that pennant races and the collection of hallowed statistics serve as a sort of sheltering sky, one that makes the empty platitudes and ridiculous financial claims of the games participants somewhat palatable. Tonight I couldn't help but wonder: Do I need to try and get close to these talented fools who, in a Fox-sponsored montage, referred to themselves, without a hint of irony, as heroes who provoke "imagination, wonder, and awe" in us, their faithful fans?

It's true that baseball players do that, but to actually look into a camera and say that about yourself, well, that's just fucking weird. Then again, maybe it's no more weird than wondering if Torii Hunter is worth many hundred times more money than a nurse or teacher or soldier.

Setting aside the actual game this evening (dull with a few sizzling moments, and a near breakdown by the AL in the ninth), here's some observations of the more bizarre episodes in this traditionally freaky exhibition:

Baseball's inability to make real fun of itself even affected The Simpsons. Homer Simpson was asked about his impressions of the coming contest, and his remarks were stale and lacking teeth--the only reference to Barry Bonds' controversies was regarding the guy's inability to smile. Whoa!

Later, some poor sap in a Taco Bell uniform, who won a contest to strike a ball on a tee for a chance to win a cool million, couldn't hit the damn thing out of the infield. The boos that rained down upon him seemed crushing.

During the tribute to the great Willie Mays, the Say-Hey Kid barked at Jose Reyes to "Get back! Get back!" when throwing a ceremonial first pitch from the outfield. The old boy's got some pep, and wanted a chance to actually hurl the damn pill. Later, they drove him off the field in a pink Cadillac, where he threw baseballs to the very wealthy in the front rows.

I still remain torn as to whether or not these guys ought to try harder in the All-Star game as they (seemingly) did in the past. My memories of the 70s games were rough and tumble. Tonight, when Alex Rodriguez tried to race home from second on a base hit, and was out by a good ten feet, I couldn't help but think back to Pete Rose's crash at home plate back in the 1970 Midseason Classic. Catcher Ray Fosse, though he had a few good years, still felt the pain in his shoulder 29 years later. Is that good? Sure, it was exciting. But really, man, it's the All-Star game--I'd hate to have Rodriguez's career cut short because of the All-Star game.

Then there was Barry Bonds' sly jab at Hank Aaron. The beleaguered one stated that he would definitely fly to any stadium in the country to watch Alex Rodriguez break the home run record if the opportunity arose. "Baseball should be a fraternity--if we don't stand up for one another, who will?" he said. Apparently, not Aaron.

Weirdest, most of all, was Ichiro Suzuki's miraculous in-the-park home run. I love these things, and I've never seen one on live television, much less in a stadium (without the benefit of an error or two). Ichiro's fly took a weird carom off the right field wall, Griffey chased it, and Suzuki--who no doubt took off out of the box like a bottle rocket--raced home standing up. Even better was the fact that this feat interrupted the blubbering of one of the crackpots waiting to catch home run balls in the San Francisco Bay. The brainiacs at Fox thought it would be amusing, during the fucking game to cut away to one of these aquatic clowns just to chew the fat. Nothing about the game, just wondering why this goof wasn't in his kayak, and could we see a dog trick? Apparently, his dog swam away, and then Joe Buck had to bark at the man to fetch his damn pooch. "I'm the world's best dog owner!" the guy whined. This exchange went on for what seemed an eternity, keeping us from Ichiro's crazy batting routine...

Let me close with this: I think these players are talented, focused, capable of doing incredible things within the first- and third-base lines, feats that, in the crucible of a season, have driven me near to madness, into depression and out again, and have made me more blissfully happy than some of my favorite poems and movies. But get close and they also reveal themselves to be some of the most grossly overpaid, unimaginative, spoiled and narcissistic people who actually contribute very little to society compared to the citizens who wander your street every given day. Their distance from us grows wider every year. And tonight, when the game was over, and I turned off the idiot box and real life asserted itself again, I looked out the open window at the lights of the homes of my neighbors, good people all. And I realized: that isolation is the players' loss, not ours.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 10, 2007 9:27 PM | Comments (6)

 

Fabulous Freddy Adu

Filed under: Soccer

It's been a schizophrenic few weeks for U.S. soccer fans. The yanks were largely uninspiring in their run through the Gold Cup, gritting out victories over humdrum squads like Panama and Canada. But Benny Feilhaber's miraculous game-winning strike over the evil Mexicans in the final erased any misgivings about the state of the American squad.

Then there was Copa America. Granted it was a B-list U.S. squad, lacking key performers such as Landon Donovan and Tim Howard. But the results were undeniably miserable. I could handle the 4-1 pasting at the hands of Argentina. And even the 3-1 loss to Paraguay--in which the U.S. had approximately 87 prime opportunities to score, but simply couldn't stick the ball in the net--was stomachable. But the dreadful 1-0 loss to Colombia, in which the Americans didn't seem to have a clue, was humiliating. It was the worst performance I can recall watching at least since Chad Deering was regularly suiting up for the yanks.

But hope has been restored by Freddy Adu and the U-20 squad. After a tepid 1-1 draw against South Korea in its opening match, the Americans have been tearing it up at the World Cup in Canada. They thrashed Poland 6-1 on the strength of a spectacular hat trick by Adu. Then they stunned Brazil with a 2-1 victory on Friday night. Jozy Altidore, the 17-year-old Red Bull star, bagged both goals, but the best player on the pitch was once again Adu. His audacious run to set up the gamewinner should alone earn him a plane ticket out of Salt Lake City. The Americans will now take on Uruguay on Wednesday in the second round.

U.S. v. Poland:

U.S. v. Brazil:

Posted by Paul Demko at July 9, 2007 11:39 AM | Comments (1)

 

Muscle Shark frustrates Franca, defends title

Filed under: General Archive

Sean Sherk's first UFC lightweight title defense nearly ended disastrously. In the opening seconds of his match against Hermes Franca on Saturday night, Sherk got caught in a guillotine that looked like it would mean lights out. But somehow the champion slipped out of the choke hold and went on to control the opening round.

Sherk also got caught with three punishing knees to the face, including a vicious second round blow that dropped him to the canvas and would have rendered most human beings unconscious. But Sherk somehow shook off the blows without evident damage and proceeded to dominate the five-round, 25-minute bout. His superior wrestling skills may have bored the drunken yahoos at ARCO Arena (who booed throughout the match), but impressed the judges. Sherk earned a unanimous decision.

Who will be next for the Muscle Shark? BJ Penn?

Posted by Paul Demko at July 9, 2007 11:05 AM | Comments (0)

 

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