July 2007

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Jesus Christ, Not Again...

Filed under: MLB

If there's one thing to really worry this baseball fan, it's not so much that the Twins will or won't make it to the postseason in 2007 or that Barry Bonds is going to hit his 756th home run. The former would be awesome, the latter is inevitable, but it's another scenario that give me the fidgets. What's worse is the fact that, after tonight, the New York Fucking Yankees are now only 3 games out of the wild card spot.

Sure, the Twins won tonight, 5-3, and looked good doing so, inched closer to the playoffs when Cleveland lost. But the Yankees stand between us and that coveted second-place berth. Maybe Seattle will do the dirty work and stop the Yanks, maybe Cleveland will stay strong. But the Yanks scare me... oh, they scare me.

It looked so good for the longest time. The Bombers had lousy pitching, and still do for the most part, and their hitting was erratic. Well, it's not quite as erratic as it was before. Roger Clemens is starting to show off his stuff (and still manage to avoid any hint of steroid use), Alex Rodriguez is cooling off yet still a threat, Godzilla's going strong, and they're winning, dammit. That bugs the crap out of me.

At least Doug Mientkiewicz sucks. Did I mention that the New York Yankees beat the reeling White Sox 16-3, with eight home runs?

While the Yankees are no doubt not going to take the Eastern Division title, there's no question that they might just march to the World Series if they make it to the postseason. It's a crapshoot in October, folks: anyone can win that makes it to the finals. Wild Card teams have proven themselves to be formidable. Not to mention the fact that coming from behind to take that Wild Card spot at the end of the season--or even in the next few weeks--might just be the sort of thing to breathe some life into these codgers.

I could take the Twins sitting this one out if the Yankees were twiddling their thumbs as well. Worst case scenario: New York Yankees v. Atlanta Braves in the World Series. I'll meet you at the Washington Avenue bridge if that happens, and we'll leap together.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 31, 2007 10:10 PM | Comments (0)

 

Kevin McHale: Too sleepy for his own good

Fifteen years ago, film great Robert Altman directed The Player, a masterpiece about the marriage of greed and success in Hollywood. In it, an ambitious young director is shopping an idea for a movie about a woman wrongly sentenced to death.

The young director shares his vision of the film with Griffin Mill, a studio executive played by Tim Robbins. "No stars!" the director says, his eyes gleaming with passion.

The director also insists that the woman die in the gas chamber just before she is vindicated. "Because that is real life," he says.

So, I have a feeling that Kevin McHale watched The Player and was struck by the vision of this fictional young director. Indeed, I think that he may be building his team around that vision.

But there's a problem. In Altman's film, the director eventually changes his tune: He winds up casting Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts, and, after test-audiences pan his ending, he alters it so that Willis rescues Roberts from the gas chamber at the last possible moment. The moral: Stars are good, happy endings are good, and the two usually go hand in hand.

While I admire McHale for trying to make T-Wolves fans experience the gritty reality of life with no stars, I'm afraid that he might have done better by not sleeping through the last 45 minutes of the movie.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at July 31, 2007 12:05 PM | Comments (0)

 

The Shake-Up

Filed under: Twins

One would be tempted to see today's trade of Luis Castillo to the Mets for a future back-up catcher and no-hit centerfielder as form of concession. One might think that the Twins are cutting bait and acknowledging that the Tigers, Indians, and the rest of the pack in between them and the wild card spot can't be overcome. But tonight, the Twins appeared inspired by the trade, and with Scott Baker on the mound--who, had it not been for the first two batters in the fourth inning, threw a perfect game--we beat the red hot Kansas City Royals 3-1.

Jason Tyner was penciled in at lead-off and did his level best to help the crowds forget there ever was a Luis Castillo, going 3 for 4, just a home run shy of the cycle, and scoring twice. Joe Mauer shrugged off his slump, with a pair of hits and knocking in all 3 of the Twins runs. Why it was easy to forget that Justin Morneau went 2 for 3 with a walk, but didn't score (or send in any runs).

But praise the Lord, Scott Baker was awesome. He faced only one extra batter in his 8 innings, and seemed to get more and more efficient as the game wore on. Outside that fourth inning, the guy didn't throw more than 14 pitches an inning. Later, in the locker room, the kid from Shreveport fiddled nervously with a scrap of paper and did his best to answer questions. Was this his best game? Results-wise, yes. How did you feel about the trade? Well, it's sad, but it's also a business.

And so it is. Of course, I'd be a dad-blamed hypocrite, not to mention a candidate for whatever medicine they're giving manic-depressives, if I started yakking about how the Twins are going to turn it around now. Luis Castillo's trade might spur these guys to start winning, but it also might just end up being a good thing only for Luis Castillo, provided the Mets can hold off Philly and the Braves. Other teams have to lose, too, you know. But that's the beauty of this wicked sport--follow it long enough and your team, good or bad or downright awful, will reward you with magnificent games like this one. For now, that's enough.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 30, 2007 10:04 PM | Comments (1)

 

Is KG finally gone?

Filed under: Timberwolves

Several news outlets are reporting that Kevin Garnett is being shipped to the Boston Celtics for basically their entire roster excluding Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. The Boston Globe says that a deal is in place to send Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair and two future first-round picks to Minnesota in exchange for the Big Ticket. The Associated Press also reports it's a done deal. Is this a good move by the Wolves?

Posted by Paul Demko at July 30, 2007 5:18 PM | Comments (3)

 

Celebrating Strangers

Filed under: MLB

During today's exciting 4-1 Twins victory over the Indians, Burt Blyleven asked cohort Dick Bremer his opinion about Barry Bonds' breaking Hank Aaron's home-run record. "I... uh, well, um... I'm saddened," Dick stammered. When pressed (and Burt was clearly relishing this opportunity for argument), Bremer finally said that it's a shame that Bonds was besting a man who went about his business with "dignity, honor and humility." And that, my friends, is exactly what's wrong with this debate.

The whole steroids thing is one kettle of fish, a red herring in part because there's no proof and for another part because we'll never know how many participated in the culture of drug use. Could have been going on all through the 80s for all we know, from durable pitchers like Nolan Ryan and Jack Morris to sluggers like Cecil Fielder and Dave Winfield. But Bonds would be in trouble even if he weren't on the juice. No, Hank Aaron comported himself like the good man that he is, and Barry is a jerk. He's not even a fat, womanizing, hedonistic asshole like Babe Ruth could be on a good day. And I wonder how Dick Bremer felt when Pete Rose broke Ty Cobb's base hit record. Because of course Rose was a dignified human being at the time. And Cobb was a virulent racist. Things sure changed since then, eh?

The moral of this silly little tale is simply this: don't get too close to your heroes, folks. During today's game--a doozy by the way, two pitching duels and indication that Garza perhaps should have been called up ages ago (but I digress)--Bremer spoke of the difference between "East Coast" and "West Coast" baseball, in the sense that Bonds the Horrible was playing out West, breaking a record he had no right to break, while Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn, upstanding heroes, were out East to accept their Hall of Fame plaques, and being as gentlemanly as Aaron. Of course, we don't really know those two, do we? Cal entered the hall on the back of his ponderous consecutive games feat and Gwynn had those great averages year after year, and both were innocuous. For now, anyway.

But weren't we all saying the same thing about Kirby Puckett when he was inducted? Or Mark McGwire when he broke Roger Maris' record? Really, folks, we all knew about steroids back then, and good God, the guy was huge. Both men gave their all on the field, and "gave back to the community", in the parlance of Mr. Bremer this afternoon. Later, both fell from grace. For all we know, the same could be coming down the pike for Gwynn and Ripken.

But at least, to guys like Dick Bremer, they aren't Barry Bonds.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 29, 2007 1:44 PM | Comments (2)

 

Sanneh suits up for Thunder tonight

Filed under: Soccer

Tony Sanneh is arguably one of the best defenders ever to suit up for the U.S. national team. He's taken the field 43 times for the yanks, scoring three goals. At the 2002 World Cup he played every minute, setting up Brian McBride's goal against Portugal in the squad's crucial opening game victory. The St. Paul native has spent time with top German clubs FC Nurnberg and Hertha Berlin, along with MLS squads D.C. United and Chicago Fire. So why the hell is he coming to play for a team that currently sits at the bottom of the USL First Division?

The answer is somewhat complicated. Sanneh spent last season with the Fire, but he didn't like the direction the franchise was headed. "I saw the writing on the wall," he says, speaking by cell phone. "I didn't think they were going up. They were going down. Obviously I was right because they're in last place."

But Chicago still retained the 36-year-old defender's MLS rights. After recovering from hip surgery, Sanneh began training with the New York Red Bulls two months ago. He says that a deal was in place for him to join the new squad, but then Chicago backed out of a deal. "When Chicago's coach got fired that was a little bit of a shakeup because the organization wanted more time before they made trades and stuff," he says. "Then they basically reneged on the trade that they had with New York and sent me outside of the division to Colorado."

So Sanneh is now in contractual limbo, still hoping to ultimately end up in New York. But in the meantime Sanneh figured he could help out his former club and regain match fitness by spending a couple of weeks with the Thunder. "I've been practicing, but game condition is different," he says. "We thought it would be a win-win here. They're a young team and they haven't been doing great. I can help them out a little bit and I can be at home."

So is there any chance that if things fall through with New York that Sanneh will stick around for the rest of the season? "No, it's pretty much just two weeks," he says. "I would go back and just practice [with the Red Bulls] at that point."

Expect to see Sanneh in the central defense tonight when the Thunder take the field against the California Victory.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 26, 2007 2:00 PM | Comments (0)

 

Minnesota Lightning hope Richmond's destiny is first-round playoff exit

Filed under: Soccer

Call me a sports misogynist. I've been to just one Minnesota Lightning game this year--and that was a doubleheader with the Thunder. Even then I only watched the second half. But I plan to be on hand Friday night when the second year women's soccer squad opens their playoff campaign against the Richmond Kickers Destiny at Macalester College. It's part of a playoff doubleheader. In the opening match the Atlanta Silverbacks will face the Michigan Hawks. The winners will square of on Saturday for a spot in the W-League final four. (Full details on the matches here.)

The Lightning have put together an impressive campaign, compiling a 9-1-1 record and winning the Midwest Division of the W-League. They've routed the opposition by a combined 27-8. This despite losing their number one goalkeeper, Joanna Haig, to injury in the first game of the season. Offensively the largely homegrown squad is led by Edina native Caroline Smith. The striker has found the net ten times this year, while also dishing out six assists. Kelsey Hans is second on the scoring charts with six goals. "I think the chemistry of the players this year is great," says Lightning coach Danny Storlien "A lot of them have played together now for a second year."

Posted by Paul Demko at July 25, 2007 3:55 PM | Comments (2)

 

Sledgehammer

Filed under: Twins

Well, I think it's safe to say that Carlos Silva won't be winning the Cy Young award this year, either. With a 2-1 score going into the sixth inning, it looked as if the Twins were heading into yet another close loss, and another tough break for Mr. Silva, who would be having a good year were it not for some run support. Then came the sixth. Perhaps the only good thing to say about the circus-sized sledgehammer that fell on the Twins in the Blue Jays eleven-run inning is that it prevented us from yet another one-run loss. And at least after five or six runs crossed the plate, fans here and abroad could turn off their radios and televisions and actually enjoy the afternoon.

This was ugly, folks. Ugly. Most of the damage occurred with timely hits and doubles, good eyes latching onto hanging pitches and pushing them into the outfield. Take away Gregg Zaun's homer (and its three runs) and you're left with four doubles and a triple, three of which scored runs. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

On the plus side, Justin Morneau went 2 for 3, so this Canadian slump is pretty much done for, plus it's good to see the guy getting good wood on the pill. Additionally, Joe Nathan didn't pitch, so he didn't get boxed around, which is good if he's up as serious trade bait, which is starting to seem oh-so attractive. Dangle the man, Mr. Ryan! Glom some future hitters! '07 is a bust, but 2008 could be ours with the right players...

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 25, 2007 3:46 PM | Comments (0)

 

Clocked

Filed under: Twins

Jesus, there's not much to say about that game, is there? 7-0, the Jays running rampant over the beleaguered Scott Baker. These things happen. If we were in a tight pennant race (division race... whatever), this day might be chalked up to luck--both the Tigers and Indians lost, and Kansas City has ceased breathing down our necks for fourth place. I mean, really, these are the games that make sportswriters and fans shake their heads. Is Dustin McGowan really that good? Are we that bad? These are the Blue Jays, for Christ's sake, and we're on the verge of being swept.

The Twins, I'm told, have not sent a runner across the plate in a dozen innings. Did I mention these are the Toronto Blue Jays. And that it's not 1992?

Even Pat Neshek got his clock cleaned. A dozen Twins left on the bases. OK, so Rondell White got a pair of hits. Good for him. Still, these games leave me queasy.

They call this sort of thing a roller-coaster ride. Win four, lose three, win two, lose three. Except roller-coasters aren't so predictably hilly--there's often twists and turns as well. Like, it would be a nice twist if the Twins won the last game and then went on a streak against Cleveland. But I'm dreaming, just hoping for an August and September that won't drain the soul of this baseball fan.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 24, 2007 11:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Sanneh signs with Thunder

Filed under: Soccer

The Minnesota Thunder have signed World Cup veteran Tony Sanneh. The former U.S. men's national team standout and St. Paul native will be available for Thursday night's game against the California Victory. The Thunder will then head east to play the Rochester Raging Rhinos on Saturday.

It's uncertain how long Sanneh will be with the squad. Earlier this month the Chicago Fire traded rights to the 36-year-old defender to the Colorado Rapids. However New York Red Bulls are now reportedly interested in acquiring Sanneh. The length of his tenure with the Thunder will hinge on negotiations between the MLS clubs.

Although the Thunder have endured a rough season overall (3-6-6), the team is unbeaten in its last four matches (2-0-2). The defense in particular has come together nicely, allowing a miserly four goals over the last seven games. "With our young group, as well as I think we're playing defensively, I think this is a chance for us to actually get better," says Coach Amos Magee. "You don't pass up an opportunity to bring in a world class player like Tony."

Sanneh previously played for the Thunder in the mid-90s. At that time he was a lethal striker, notching 18 goals and 22 assists during the 1995 campaign. Then-D.C. United Coach Bruce Arena subsequently converted him into a defender. Sanneh went on to play for German clubs Hertha Berlin and FC Nurnberg before returning to MLS in 2004.

The St. Paul Academy graduate, who is recovering from hip surgery, worked out with the squad yesterday for the first time since signing. "He looked very good last night," Magee reports.

(I have a call out to Sanneh. Hopefully I'll post his comments here later.)

Posted by Paul Demko at July 24, 2007 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

 

Over and Out... (Part Deux)

Filed under: Twins

Tonight, the Minnesota Twins fought the Toronto Blue Jays unsuccessfully, losing 6-4. Tonight, Justin Morneau broke out of his Canadian slump, going 2 for 4 with 3 RBI. Tonight, the Minnesota Twins baserunning circus was in full swing, as Jason Tyner and Nick Punto, standing at the corners in the fifth, got swept away in a baffling 3-2-5-6 double play. And tonight, the normally dominant Johan Santana struck out 4, gave up 6 earned runs, and was taken deep 4 times, count e'm, 4 times (twice by Frank Thomas). And in doing so, the ace of the staff, perhaps the best pitcher in baseball, has conceded this year's Cy Young Award.

As I wrote before in this blog, Johan needs to win at least 18 games in order to win the Cy Young award, no matter if he strikes out a thousand batters and pitches two perfect games this season. No pitcher has won the thing without those dozen-and-a-half notches on his belt, save relievers and the lucky souls in strike years. After this evening's mess, Santana's won-lost record is 11-8, and he has 12-13 starts remaining. With the pair of losses in his last two outings (one of which was the hard-luck 3-2 defeat against Detroit), Johan won't make the grade this year. Not at all.

As is becoming the norm this year, it looked as if things were going to turn around magically. It seemed as if writing off this team had suddenly inspired them to win. Everyone, myself included, were grumbling at the All-Star break, and then, Presto!, they sweep the A's. After I wrote my piece a month ago, where I pointed out Santana's probable inability to win the Cy again, whoops! he spins off five wins in a row. But this year's script has everything magically turn to shit just as suddenly as it had turned to gold. We could still win this series, for sure. But the division was gone last Thursday; this year's Cy went tonight.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 23, 2007 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

 

Thank God for Tivo

Filed under: Soccer

It made ESPN's shameless Beckham-mania somewhat palatable. Every time they cut to a lingering shot of his wounded ankle or an interview with Jennifer Love Hewitt, I just bumped the production ahead 30 seconds. It wasn't the worst match ever. Chelsea looked bored, but still controlled the game. About the only drama in Beckham's 12 minutes on the pitch was when Steve Sidwell went clattering awkwardly into him, undoubtedly causing Don Garber and Alexi Lalas to nearly choke on their celebratory cigars.

The best development for the Galaxy was the play of central defender Abel Xavier. The Portuguese back was a beast all night long, single-handedly keeping the scoreline respectable. If he can continue to play at that level for the rest of the season (and Beckham doesn't break his leg), the Galaxy should start climbing the MLS table.

Meanwhile the league's original overhyped poster boy is apparently off to Benfica. Good for Freddy. May he prosper.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 23, 2007 3:17 PM | Comments (2)

 

Muscle Shark tests positive for steroids

Filed under: General Archive

UFC lightweight champ Sean Sherk tested positive for the substance Nandrolone Metabolite following his successful title defense earlier this month, according to the California State Athletic Commission. His opponent, Hermes Franca, also flunked the post-bout drug screen, testing positive for Drostonalone. Both have been fined $2,500 and suspended for one year by the CSAC. It's likely that Sherk will also be stripped of his title by the UFC. That's what happened to heavyweight Tim Sylvia after he tested positive for steroids following a 2003 fight.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 20, 2007 9:39 AM | Comments (4)

 

Over and Out...

Filed under: Twins

So the Minnesota Twins lost their third game in a row to the division leading Detroit Tigers. What now? 9 games out at this point, pretty much the same as last year. Unfortunately, the optimists' club is looking at one year ago, when the Twins were still 9 games behind the Tigers. Of course, they were on a serious roll, winning most of their games as opposed to sweeping one team and being swept by the next. I say 'unfortunately' because looking to the past is the only thing that's keeping this club from moving forward. This season's over.

I'm for moving forward, hoping to sell off parts and bringing in others to shore up this club for next year, or perhaps sitting on the cash to buy a decent slugger at third or the DH. The difference between this year and last is that the Tigers will not fold as they did last season and Cleveland (and Seattle and, suddenly, the Yankees, who are tied with us in the Wild Card race) stand between here and a postseason berth. A few pundits have weighed in on this subject, most notably (in my mind), The Rake's Brad Zellar (scroll down), who argues for dumping Johan Santana. His arguments are sound, if not intriguing and entertaining to ponder. I don't like it from a sheer entertainment perspective, because I love great pitching and Johan is the best in the business now, and probably will be for a long time. Zellar suggests that pitchers don't usually last long, and that's true, but it's also true that some (Clemens, Nolan Ryan) last very long. Keeping Santana is a risk I'd be very willing to take.

I also wholeheartedly agree with Zellar about dumping Hunter and Joe Nathan, although I'm frankly irritated because I wanted to write this myself as if I were the first person to come up with this notion, and I still think I am because it's well known that this guy can be psychic. Anyway, with the depth of pitching the Twins have, it is the height of stupidity to me not to unload some of it for a few bats. Terry Ryan's been called a genius, and I have to disagree, and quite strongly. He's smart, and a great GM. But I look at Dave Dombrowski, with Detroit, and I see a guy who develops talent and also buys it, trades for it, and creates a balanced team. The Tigers may have more money, but the Twins are getting their stadium, and it's time to show some goodwill for that. Ryan is incapable of doing so either because he's limited by the Pohlads or because he's intent on staying true to his philosophy. This might also be called 'stubborn' when such a philosophy fails. And I believe this is failing.

To summarize: trade Hunter. Trade Nathan. Trade some minor league pitching. Get some bats in the DH hole and third base. We cannot rely on Rondell White or Nick Punto anymore. Of course, this is all mere fantasy, but it's worth hoping for. The Central Division is not getting weaker; in fact, it's getting stronger. Are the Twins going to settle for being the best third place team in the league forever?

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 19, 2007 4:33 PM | Comments (3)

 

Of course I picked them to finish 12th

Filed under: Soccer

Dallas has been the revelation of the MLS season. They're young, tenacious, and a joy to watch. Juan Carlos Toja epitomizes Steve Morrow's squad. The ridiculously coiffed Colombian is seemingly everywhere on the field. He's threatening to run away with the fouls committed title (currently 16 up on Eddie Robinson!). And he buries every chance that comes his way. Toja's maddog destruction of D.C. in the second half on Saturday was glorious. And apparently he had the flu. Midway through the season he's my MVP. Apparently Dallas knew what they were doing when they got rid of Simo Valakari. I just hope Toja can survive Dallas in August with all that hair.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 18, 2007 11:07 AM | Comments (0)

 

Whiffle Bats

Filed under: Twins

How does Matt Garza lose with this line?

7 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 1 R, 3 K

I guess by facing Nate Robertson, whose line is as follows:

7IP, 3 Hits, 0 ER, 0 R, 5 K

Our young gun versus a guy whose arm had gone "tired" and was on the DL for 15 days or more. The team with the best road record against a club that has typically won the lion's share of its games in the cozy confines of the Dome. One team trying to get back to the World Series it lost a season ago; the other desperately hoping for a repeat of its valiant come-from-behind title, and then marching into the fall classic instead of falling short.

Over 31K watched last night's little gem, one whose loss I simply cannot lay on the shoulders of the Twins, any more than I can blame the Detroit Tigers for failing to put more than one fellow across the plate. This was a pitchers' duel, ladies 'n' gents, and a good one. It tells us that perhaps the Twins are not in need of an arm anymore. Would another bat have done the trick last night? Probably not, at least in this game. Our one great chance came in the bottom of the sixth, with two men on and one out. That failed because Mauer and Cuddyer flopped, each striking out and forcing Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson to have conniption fits of joy. But a big bat, say in the DH spot, might have uncorked a homer, or got something started. Then again, maybe not. Even Gary Sheffield was hamstrung last night.

Today's game is pivotal: if the Twins can't take a game against their rivals with the best pitcher in baseball, then I say the season's over.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 18, 2007 10:14 AM | Comments (1)

 

You came a long way to play like crap

Filed under: Soccer

That's what we were singing last night at The Jimmy after the Minnesota Thunder laid an improbable 3-0 pasting on the Montreal Impact. Striker Aaron Paye was instrumental in all three goals. In the 31st minute, he delivered a lovely through ball to Darren Spicer, who buried a left-footed bomb. Then just before halftime, Paye launched a pinpoint corner that mammoth defender Kevin Taylor calmly headed home.

Montreal poured on the pressure to start the second half, but couldn't find the net. Paye sealed their fate in the 80th minute, burying a penalty kick after getting hauled down in the box. It was his team-leading fifth strike of the campaign. Paye's had a hand in 9 of the squad's 13 goals. The boys in blue are riding a three game unbeaten streak. They are no longer at the foot of the table. Next up is a friendly against the K.C. Wizards on Tuesday night in Blaine. Then it's a rematch with the Impact on Wednesday at The Jimmy.

The U.S. U-20 squad didn't fair as well on Saturday in the quarterfinals of the World Cup. They started brightly enough, with Freddy Adu whipping in another pinpoint cross on to the head of Jozy Altidore for a 15th-minute goal. Robbie Rogers terrorized the Austrians on the left flank throughout the opening 45 minutes.

But then the yanks allowed a dodgy equalizer late in the first half and the whole operation ran off the rails. Rogers disappeared completely. Goalkeeper Chris Seitz kept getting balls tatooed off his face. Tim Ward was inexplicably brought into the game. The improbably named and unfortunately coiffed Erwin "Jimmy" Hoffer scored the inevitable game winner for the Austrians in the 105th minute. Bummer.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 16, 2007 12:21 PM | Comments (0)

 

That'll Do, Pig. That'll Do...

Filed under: Twins

According to a now nearly week-old Strib feature, the Twins need only to come up with some sort of snappy slogan to slap on t-shirts in order to get this club going. I'm in Michigan as I write this, visiting the folks, so maybe the Twins figured one out before taking this four game series from the A's, who are no slouches. If not, I'm happy to suggest my own. We've had piranhas (just awful), and that odd Smell 'Em, which I still don't quite get and certainly don't appreciate, and now I'd like to propose pigs. Not grunty, stinking pigs whose guts and other unmentionables eventually make up the thousands of Dome Dogs we happily consume, but the come-from-behind piglet the world knows as Babe, but Farmer Hoggett knew simply as "Pig".

This is a definite stretch, but hear me out: Pig was a cutie, which the lamented Bat-Girl would appreciate, and he did great things in spite of himself. Being a piglet, he was young, like our Twins. And, really, the great thing he did wasn't saving anyone's life, or rescuing a damsel, or keeping a sinister bank from repossessing the farm. No, "Pig" won a contest that he wasn't supposed to win, in grand fashion.

This is what I would like to see the Twins do--win the World Series, in grand fashion.

I'm a movie fan, and thought that Babe was an excellent film. There are many occasions where I'm at a loss as to why my mind goes where it goes, but then again, I'm no worse than Ozzie Guillen--and my language isn't as foul. For whatever reason, when the Twins won yet another close game yesterday, I could think only of Hoggett's warm phrase "That'll do, Pig. That'll do." Because a four game sweep will most certainly do. If we can just get our heads together to beat my hometown fave Tigers, well, that, too, will do.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 16, 2007 6:40 AM | Comments (1)

 

David Beckham urinates on U.S. soil

Filed under: Soccer

David Beckham has arrived. He was just unveiled at the Home Depot Center. There have been a lot of very silly words printed about Beckham and what his arrival will mean for soccer in the U.S. Most of these articles raise the question of whether footyball will ever catch on in this country. (See this AP piece for a particularly tedious example of the genre.)

Here's a newsflash: soccer is already thriving in this country. MLS is here to stay. All the angry old white guys that staff the sports desks of daily newspapers will have to find some other bogeyman to foam at the mouth about. The only article you need to read about Beckham is by SI's Grant Wahl. He's the best soccer scribe on the planet.

More importantly, the U.S. under-20 squad is still alive in the World Cup. They gutted out a 2-1 comeback victory over Uruguay on Wednesday night. Freddy Adu was once again the catalyst, setting up both goals with sterling corner kicks. Michael Bradley bungled in the gamewinner in the 107th minute. The kids will face Austria in the quarterfinals tomorrow at 1 p.m. CST. Folks will be gathering locally to watch at the Sweetwater.

Don't miss this sweet, beautifully written story about the Ivory Coast, Didier Drogba, and the end of that country's brutal civil war. (Cribbed, of course, from the greatest soccer blog on the planet, Du Nord.)

Finally the mighty Minnesota Thunder are back in action at The Jimmy this Sunday at 5 p.m. They take on the Montreal Impact (6-3-6). Amos Magee's squad is still mired at the foot of the table with a record of 2-6-5. Despite this dismal record, they've only been outscored by a margin of 15-10. So I remain delusionally optimistic.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 13, 2007 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Balls silent while we move servers

Balls will be moving to another server beginning Wednesday afternoon. We hope to begin updating within 24 hours. Thanks for your patience.

The Management

Photo from I Can Has Cheezburger?

Posted by Corey Anderson at July 11, 2007 3:01 PM | Comments (0)

 

Watch U.S. v. Uruguay tonight

Filed under: Soccer

The U.S. under 20 squad, having notched nine goals in three opening round matches, takes on Uruguay tonight in the knockout stage of the World Cup. The game is only being shown on ESPNU, unfortunately. Folks will be gathering locally at the Sweetwater Grille & Bar in St. Paul to watch. Kickoff is 6:30 CST.

Posted by Paul Demko at July 11, 2007 12:49 PM | Comments (2)

 

American Freakshow

Filed under: MLB

I haven't watched the All-Star game in years and years. I last caught the thing the year Selig declared the game a tie, and then the next season made it the determinant for home field advantage in the Fall Classic, something I'm sure Tampa Bay's Carl Crawford cares buckets about. Tonight's 5-4 American League victory, the tenth in a row (not counting the one that "didn't count") did nothing to lessen my conflicted feelings about the All-Star game, and baseball in general. Tonight, I couldn't help but notice that this beautiful game of ours is plagued with some bizarre and unhealthy personalities, who literally referred to themselves tonight as distant and untouchable. And they meant that as a compliment.

Now, to be honest I am personally very little interested in getting too close to the characters that take to the field. It's interesting to read about these guys' careers, how they struggled to get to the game, what they do to hit a wicked curve. My favorites over the years have included jailbird Ron LeFlore, Ted Williams, the Negro Leaguers, and Dmitri Young's spate of troubles. Those guys have some good stories. But during this All-Star game, I came to realize that pennant races and the collection of hallowed statistics serve as a sort of sheltering sky, one that makes the empty platitudes and ridiculous financial claims of the games participants somewhat palatable. Tonight I couldn't help but wonder: Do I need to try and get close to these talented fools who, in a Fox-sponsored montage, referred to themselves, without a hint of irony, as heroes who provoke "imagination, wonder, and awe" in us, their faithful fans?

It's true that baseball players do that, but to actually look into a camera and say that about yourself, well, that's just fucking weird. Then again, maybe it's no more weird than wondering if Torii Hunter is worth many hundred times more money than a nurse or teacher or soldier.

Setting aside the actual game this evening (dull with a few sizzling moments, and a near breakdown by the AL in the ninth), here's some observations of the more bizarre episodes in this traditionally freaky exhibition:

Baseball's inability to make real fun of itself even affected The Simpsons. Homer Simpson was asked about his impressions of the coming contest, and his remarks were stale and lacking teeth--the only reference to Barry Bonds' controversies was regarding the guy's inability to smile. Whoa!

Later, some poor sap in a Taco Bell uniform, who won a contest to strike a ball on a tee for a chance to win a cool million, couldn't hit the damn thing out of the infield. The boos that rained down upon him seemed crushing.

During the tribute to the great Willie Mays, the Say-Hey Kid barked at Jose Reyes to "Get back! Get back!" when throwing a ceremonial first pitch from the outfield. The old boy's got some pep, and wanted a chance to actually hurl the damn pill. Later, they drove him off the field in a pink Cadillac, where he threw baseballs to the very wealthy in the front rows.

I still remain torn as to whether or not these guys ought to try harder in the All-Star game as they (seemingly) did in the past. My memories of the 70s games were rough and tumble. Tonight, when Alex Rodriguez tried to race home from second on a base hit, and was out by a good ten feet, I couldn't help but think back to Pete Rose's crash at home plate back in the 1970 Midseason Classic. Catcher Ray Fosse, though he had a few good years, still felt the pain in his shoulder 29 years later. Is that good? Sure, it was exciting. But really, man, it's the All-Star game--I'd hate to have Rodriguez's career cut short because of the All-Star game.

Then there was Barry Bonds' sly jab at Hank Aaron. The beleaguered one stated that he would definitely fly to any stadium in the country to watch Alex Rodriguez break the home run record if the opportunity arose. "Baseball should be a fraternity--if we don't stand up for one another, who will?" he said. Apparently, not Aaron.

Weirdest, most of all, was Ichiro Suzuki's miraculous in-the-park home run. I love these things, and I've never seen one on live television, much less in a stadium (without the benefit of an error or two). Ichiro's fly took a weird carom off the right field wall, Griffey chased it, and Suzuki--who no doubt took off out of the box like a bottle rocket--raced home standing up. Even better was the fact that this feat interrupted the blubbering of one of the crackpots waiting to catch home run balls in the San Francisco Bay. The brainiacs at Fox thought it would be amusing, during the fucking game to cut away to one of these aquatic clowns just to chew the fat. Nothing about the game, just wondering why this goof wasn't in his kayak, and could we see a dog trick? Apparently, his dog swam away, and then Joe Buck had to bark at the man to fetch his damn pooch. "I'm the world's best dog owner!" the guy whined. This exchange went on for what seemed an eternity, keeping us from Ichiro's crazy batting routine...

Let me close with this: I think these players are talented, focused, capable of doing incredible things within the first- and third-base lines, feats that, in the crucible of a season, have driven me near to madness, into depression and out again, and have made me more blissfully happy than some of my favorite poems and movies. But get close and they also reveal themselves to be some of the most grossly overpaid, unimaginative, spoiled and narcissistic people who actually contribute very little to society compared to the citizens who wander your street every given day. Their distance from us grows wider every year. And tonight, when the game was over, and I turned off the idiot box and real life asserted itself again, I looked out the open window at the lights of the homes of my neighbors, good people all. And I realized: that isolation is the players' loss, not ours.

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 10, 2007 9:27 PM | Comments (6)

 

Fabulous Freddy Adu

Filed under: Soccer

It's been a schizophrenic few weeks for U.S. soccer fans. The yanks were largely uninspiring in their run through the Gold Cup, gritting out victories over humdrum squads like Panama and Canada. But Benny Feilhaber's miraculous game-winning strike over the evil Mexicans in the final erased any misgivings about the state of the American squad.

Then there was Copa America. Granted it was a B-list U.S. squad, lacking key performers such as Landon Donovan and Tim Howard. But the results were undeniably miserable. I could handle the 4-1 pasting at the hands of Argentina. And even the 3-1 loss to Paraguay--in which the U.S. had approximately 87 prime opportunities to score, but simply couldn't stick the ball in the net--was stomachable. But the dreadful 1-0 loss to Colombia, in which the Americans didn't seem to have a clue, was humiliating. It was the worst performance I can recall watching at least since Chad Deering was regularly suiting up for the yanks.

But hope has been restored by Freddy Adu and the U-20 squad. After a tepid 1-1 draw against South Korea in its opening match, the Americans have been tearing it up at the World Cup in Canada. They thrashed Poland 6-1 on the strength of a spectacular hat trick by Adu. Then they stunned Brazil with a 2-1 victory on Friday night. Jozy Altidore, the 17-year-old Red Bull star, bagged both goals, but the best player on the pitch was once again Adu. His audacious run to set up the gamewinner should alone earn him a plane ticket out of Salt Lake City. The Americans will now take on Uruguay on Wednesday in the second round.

U.S. v. Poland:

U.S. v. Brazil:

Posted by Paul Demko at July 9, 2007 11:39 AM | Comments (1)

 

Muscle Shark frustrates Franca, defends title

Filed under: General Archive

Sean Sherk's first UFC lightweight title defense nearly ended disastrously. In the opening seconds of his match against Hermes Franca on Saturday night, Sherk got caught in a guillotine that looked like it would mean lights out. But somehow the champion slipped out of the choke hold and went on to control the opening round.

Sherk also got caught with three punishing knees to the face, including a vicious second round blow that dropped him to the canvas and would have rendered most human beings unconscious. But Sherk somehow shook off the blows without evident damage and proceeded to dominate the five-round, 25-minute bout. His superior wrestling skills may have bored the drunken yahoos at ARCO Arena (who booed throughout the match), but impressed the judges. Sherk earned a unanimous decision.

Who will be next for the Muscle Shark? BJ Penn?

Posted by Paul Demko at July 9, 2007 11:05 AM | Comments (0)

 

Muscle Shark title bout set for Saturday

Filed under: General Archive

Sean Sherk will defend his UFC lightweight title for the first time on Saturday night at ARCO Arena. The 155-pound, Minnesota-based fighter will take on Hermes Franca, a Brazilian born Jujitsu specialist at UFC 73: Stacked. (For a list of bars that will be showing the pay-per-view event go here.)

Sherk won the title in October with a bloody unanimous decision over Kenny Florian, improving his fight resume to 33-2-1. But he's been on the shelf for the last nine months nursing a shoulder injury. Greg Nelson, Sherk's trainer, reports that the champ is ready to defend his belt. "So far everything is going very good," he says via cell phone from Sacramento. "I think he's going to do fantastic."

Posted by Paul Demko at July 5, 2007 11:17 AM | Comments (0)

 

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