One Man's Nightmare; Most Men's Dream

Categories: MLB

Poor Bud Selig. Poor Tom Goldman. Goldman is a reporter with National Public Radio, and Selig, well, he's the Commissioner of the corporation known as Major League Baseball. This morning, on NPR's Weekend Edition, Goldman gave us a story about how Barry Bonds has been stuck on 754 home runs and the effect this has on the Commissioner and the reporters who follow this circus. Apparently, Bud Selig is growing surly from having to spend so much time in the pursuit. Goldman's report featured audio coverage of Selig cursing out a reporter who inquired whether the commissioner was going to continue to follow Bonds if the slugger failed to break the record this weekend. Goldman also gave us the excruciating detail of his having to watch Bonds--that Barry has but three to four at-bats a game, and those brief moments make up the gist of Goldman's day. If Bonds fails, well, then he has to pull a story out of the turnip that is a Giants game.

So let me see if I get this straight: this story, situated as it was between an editorial about the UN's failure to make real progress in the Darfur disaster and some other minor problem in the world, tells us that the Commissioner of Baseball, the fucking Commissioner of Baseball, is grousing because he has to actually sit and watch a game of the sport he ostensibly is in charge of, and supposedly loves. And Tom Goldman has to work in the press box, gorging himself on hot dogs and pop, and turn his brain on four times a game. If only he could grab one of those easy assignments in Iraq!

I'm not a Giants fan, but I think I speak for a lot of baseball fans when we say we'd love such sweet seats in any ballpark in America. As a reporter, I'd love to make Goldman's wages following Bonds, controversy or no. And when I say I'm not a Giants fan, that doesn't mean I don't like the Giants like I don't like liver and onions. Selig used to run the Brewers, now he runs baseball, and, really, the guy doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to. Goldman, for his part, received an assignement to follow Barry Bonds. For most fans, being "forced" to watch Bonds, in the Commissioner's seats or in the press box would be a dream come true. And in light of events, not just here but in the world in general--damn, every single day, in fact--makes this story not only irresponsible but narcissistic and insulting to fans. Everyone gripes about their job--Mr. Goldman and Mr. Selig, perhaps it would be serve the world if you kept yours to yourselves.


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