Pi Press gossip columnist Charley Walters offered up this nugget in today's paper:

The Twins have no plans to pursue free agents Alex Rodriguez, who is seeking $30 million a season, or Barry Bonds.

In other breaking news, word is loose that Barbaro plans to sit out this year's Kentucky Derby.

Read USA Today much? Me neither. But I happened upon a copy today, and duly checked out the NBA season preview special section. Any guess where the Wolves ranked?

Correct. Thirtieth of 30 teams. OK, fine. But the paper also ranked the Wolves as a billion-to-one longshot to win the NBA championship this year. I mean, c'mon. A billion to one? Think about it: If you took all those zeros, you could walk them to the moon and back 73 times. The next-least-regarded team, the 76ers, came in at 25,000 to one. All's I'm saying is, this seems a bit extreme.

From the not-making-my-case-any-easier department: Randy Foye's knee injury is looking more serious. The team announced today that he'll be out indefinitely.

The Timberwolves finalized their opening-day roster today. First, they waived Juwan Howard, who they traded for this summer before shipping KG off to Boston. Second, they released Wayne Simien, who they picked up in last week's deal with Miami.More >>

Given the weekly gridiron follies produced by the University of Minnesota football team, Gopher sports fans could use some positive news. Barring the unlikely announcement that Tim Brewster has resigned to star in Forrest Gump II: The Road to Passadena is Like a Box of Chocolates, non-football information will have to suffice.

The Gopher wrestling team, trying to repeat as national champions, is ranked number one in three different pre-season polls. Coach J Robinson's squad received all twelve first-place votes in the USA Today survey. What's more, eight of the team's ten starters are ranked in the top ten nationally.

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The Twins have picked up the option on Joe Nathan's contract for 2008. The ace closer will make $6 million next year, a few million below his market value. ESPN, as usual, has the scoop.

They say that pinstripes are thinning. And friends, it must be true, because Antoine Walker, a man who this week was traded to the Timberwolves from the Miami Heat, reportedly for being fat, looked positively svelte in his black and charcoal suit. When you recall that the Heat boast the presence of a nearly 400-pound man whose body is literally decaying with every passing day, this explanation seems less plausible. It probably makes most sense to suggest that the trade went down because he was an aging, sulky, un-athletic gunner who will forever be cherished (in my mind, at least) as the man who, when asked why he shoots so many three-pointers, offered the magical response: "because there ain’t no fours." More >>

The MLS playoffs kickoff tonight with Chicago at D.C. on ESPN2, easily the most intriguing matchup of the first round. Some thoughts:

1. I would not want to play the Chicago Fire right now: Don't let the shabby 10-10-10 record deceive. The Fire are riding an eight-game unbeaten streak into the playoffs, although five of those were ties. If someone on the squad could just learn to finish they'd be a real menace. Cuauthemoc Blanco, of course, has played a vital role in the team's surge. But of almost equal importance has been the arrival of defender Wilman Conde from Colombian club Millonarios. He's slotted into the central midfield with Chris Armas the last few games and wreaked havoc with tough tackling and defense-splitting through balls. Just two weeks ago the Fire frustrated and outplayed D.C. at RFK in a 0-0 draw.

2. Bench Paulo Wanchope: The veteran Costa Rican striker has been miserable for the Fire. He looks old, slow, and indifferent. It's time to put the dude out to pasture--or at least to United Arab Emirates. Granted Chad Barrett hasn't been much better, but at least he's young, tenacious, and talented. Eventually the goals will start to flow for the kid. Pair him up top with Chris Rolfe and see if they can jumpstart the team's anemic attack.More >>

The Timberwolves announced today that John Edwards, the big white guy who sat on the end of their bench during preseason games, has been released. The move brings the roster down to 17 players.

The Wolves have dealt Ricky Davis and Mark Blount to Miami for Antoine Walker, Michael Doleac, and Wayne Simien, as well as a conditional first round pick. ESPN has the scoop.

UPDATE: The trade is official. The Wolves will also get a future first round pick, although the details on that aren't yet clear.

Before we get started, a quick note: This humble effort SHOULD NOT be seen as even a half-assed attempt to fill the ball-shaped hole left by Britt Robson’s departure from City Pages. As anyone who has read his copious writings on the Wolves over the years knows, he’s the best and most insightful basketball writer in town. In case you for some reason aren’t aware, you can find his sports column at our rival publication, which shall go nameless. More >>