November 2007

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We'll Always Have Central Michigan

Filed under: Gophers

Florida State Is My Favorite State

Seeing Tubby Smith patrol the Gophers’ sidelines gives me an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Maybe similar to if Otis Redding caught me singing in the shower; I just sort of wish he didn’t have to sit through that. This year, as it is whenever a famous coach inherits a struggling squad, is going to be weird. Sort of a throwaway season, waiting for Tubby to recruit the next Tayshaun Prince. But whether or not Smith is just waiting things out until his own guys come aboard and this latest crop of mediocre Minnesota high school stars has moved on, he already seems to have the Gophers playing more confidently and passionately than they did at any point last year. In Tuesday night’s loss to Florida State the Gophers stayed within ten points for most of the game by playing intense defense (they forced FSU into 16 turnovers and 42.3% shooting) and hanging with the bigger, more athletic Seminoles on the glass. The troubling thing is that they still lost by 14.

Its too bad hustle and energy can’t really run your offense for you. I mentioned that the score was close for a long while but, truthfully, it never really seemed like the Gophers could win the game. The first ten minutes were something of a free-for-all, with both teams running with abandon and raining threes, and the Gophers even managed to claw their way to a 22-18 lead during that stretch. But once reality set in, and Florida State’s talented guard trio of Isaiah Swann, Ralph Mims and Toney Douglas began to apply some serious backcourt pressure, the Gophers unraveled. U guards Lawrence McKenzie and Al Nolen began forcing passes into the teeth of the zone (3 turnovers each in 26 and 22 minutes, respectively) and all of the Gophers’ ball handlers started to look a little frantic and lost. Even when the guards did manage to beat Florida State’s pressure and execute the offense, forwards Spencer Tollackson and Dan Coleman had a miserable time converting, shooting a combined 5-21 from the field. In all, the Gophers shot a pretty horrendous 33.8%, including a tasty mix of rushed, contested threes and missed jumpers.

Once the pressure elapsed, the Gophers showed themselves to be a well-coached team, executing their offense crisply. But the sad truth is that even their best players (ostensibly McKenzie, Coleman and Tollackson) did not look skilled or athletic enough to play well against a good defensive team. To kill the party even further, the Gophers success on defense was somewhat illusory. It's true that their aggressive play forced Florida State to turn the ball over and shoot a low percentage. But they also sent the Seminoles to the line 32 times (compared to only 10 Minnesota free-throws), which probably tells us two things: the Gophers were out of position and they were out of control. Oh well, at least ESPN saw fit to show a bunch frat guys in luxury boxes do the Tomahawk Chop. So we were lucky enough to see that.

Hoffarber Rising

The only Gopher to play more than 20 minutes and shoot at least 50% was none other than last year’s Mr. Basketball in Minnesota, Blake Hoffarber. Recall, now, that Hoffarber won a state championship for Hopkins High School in 2005 by hitting a 20-footer at the buzzer. Oh, right, and he was sitting down at the time. Thanks to that ridiculous shot, Hoffarber is (sort of) famous in a very 2000’s-y way. He has hung out with Matt Lauer on the Today Show. He has won an ESPY Award. Dudes, he has a Wikipedia entry. And, as it turns out, it appears that he can play a bit, too. He did contribute to the Gophers little fouling problem (4 fouls in 22 minutes) but he also showed off a gorgeous shot with a quick release and was one of the only Gophers to at least appear poised in the second half. If the Gophers do end up becoming good at some point, Hoffarber could be a nice piece of the puzzle, one of those moderately athletic, quintessentially college players who play really hard, keep from freaking out when things get crazy, and bomb 30-footers with zeal.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at November 30, 2007 4:19 PM | Comments (0)

 

No. 1 Gopher wrestlers face No. 2 Iowa State

Filed under: Gophers

The top-ranked Gopher wrestling team opened its dual-meet season last weekend by eviscerating Northern Illinois, Northern Colorado, and North Dakota State. Minnesota overwhelmed their opponents by a combined score of 109-21, and lost just four times in 30 matches.

On Sunday they will face substantially stiffer competition when they take on second-ranked Iowa State at Williams Arena. The Gophers outpointed the Cyclones last year to win their third national title in seven years. It will be the fourth time in just two years that Minnesota has been involved in a one-two showdown, with the Gophers prevailing in all three previous encounters.

Sunday's marquee matchup will pit the U of M's Roger Kish against Jake Varner. The 184 pounders are ranked one-two in the country. In four prior meetings, the rivals have each prevailed twice. Most notably, Varner pulled off a 4-2 win in last year's NCAA seminfinals.

Posted by Paul Demko at November 30, 2007 1:18 PM | Comments (0)

 

Vote for Boogey

Filed under: NHL

Derek Boogaard has been called many things: enforcer, tough guy, and goon. One thing he has not been called is "NHL All-Star."

But there is a movement afoot on the Internet to change that. At Vote 4 Boogey you will find everything you need to help elect the Wild's 6' 7" 270 lbs. forward.

Among other things, you can buy a snazzy "Vote 4 Boogey" t-shirt with the campaign platform: Respect. Courage. Justice.

Here is the website's explanation for why Boogey deserves an All-Star nod:

These are the virtues the Enforcer values and they are ensured through intimidation. While the 6'7" 270 lbs forward waits on the bench for much of the game, his presence keeps the game honest and boosts his teammates' morale. He takes pride in his non-pugilistic abilities, but when he takes the ice—everyone in the arena takes notice because the guilty will be confronted. And they will be held responsible.

Of course, faithful readers of City Pages are already well familiar with the many admirable qualities of the Boogeyman.

In The Boogeyman Drops the Gloves, I told the story of how an outsized boy who loved hockey found a way to play it professionally through toughness, endurance, and skull-shattering fists.

In The Boogeyman Unfiltered, Boogaard talked about what it was like to break Todd Fedoruk's face.

In Anatomy of a Hockey Fight, City Pages art director Nick Vlcek captured a blow by blow, frame by frame view of the Boogaard doing his handiwork in a marathon bout.

And in The Boogeyman's Greatest Hits (And One Miss), we compiled a collection of YouTube clips of Boogaard's best scraps. My personal favorite is the aforementioned Fedoruk facial reconstruction which you can see here:

Posted by Kevin Hoffman at November 29, 2007 1:18 PM | Comments (1)

 

Bert Blyleven is absolutely a Hall of Famer

Filed under: MLB

Okay, I don't mean for this to become a Hot Stove baseball blog, and I originally intended to do an analysis of the Delmon Young-Matt Garza trade today, but first I want to point you to today's post
on Baseball Reference's Stat of the Day blog. It's about Bert Blyleven's Hall of Fame candidacy. B-R posts Blyleven's stat lines against Hall of Fame hitters, and while that's not a case in and of itself for why the former Twin ought to be enshrined himself, I think you'll find the results intriguing.

If you want to read what convinced me of the statement I make in the subject line of this post, my old friend Rich Lederer has been on something of a personal crusade on Blyleven's behalf over the years, and I just think his arguments are much stronger than the opposing side's.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 29, 2007 11:57 AM | Comments (1)

 

Pi Press: Want Budding Stars? Offer to Trade 'em a Free Agent

Filed under: MLB

The wise baseball analyst is always looking to enhance long-term value by trading expensive established players for young, inexpensive stars. The Pio Press' Bob Sansevere has ascertained an innovative way for maximizing value in this scenario: trading players your team doesn't have the rights to.

In his latest piece, the writer outlines his ideal trade scenario:

If I'm the Twins' general manager, here's what I do. (And I'd do it under duress because I'd be working for a cheapskate owner.) I get on the horn with Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein and say, "You want Johan Santana, right?"

Epstein likely will say, "Right."

Then I say, "Tell you what. I'll trade you Santana and Carlos Silva and Joe Nathan."

This is where Sansevere's genius comes in. Silva is a free agent. But Epstein won't find that out until after he's accepted the trade! "Ha," we'll say! "Thanks for your young stars, sucker!" It's foolproof, the ultimate money for nothing.

See, perception is reality. Like staking a flag into an island when you don't see anyone else there, claiming rights to trade a free agent is the ultimate economic comparative advantage for a team. Is a free agent wearing a uniform? I didn't think so. That's why they call them "free" agents; they're free to be claimed.

Like Galileo, Sansevere has come under some criticism for this insight, but he is merely ahead of his time. Indeed, his main problem was not going far enough. What if this "trade-theRed-Sox-a-free-agent" strategy had been developed while Alex Rodriguez was still on the market? The Twins could have traded the Sox the future Hall of Famer from right out from under the Yankees.

Shortsighted bloggers should take a lesson from this type of forward-thinking analysis. In future years we may refer to Silva as Opposite Day Curt Flood.

The Sansevere Theorem is a stunning step forward in the science of trade equity. It's the baseball equivalent of John Marshall's legal declaration that Indian tribes west of the Mississippi were nevertheless domestic of and dependent upon the United States -- even though they were as yet unknown to settlers. It takes a bold general manager to simply assert that all free agents are assets your team has a right to. Perhaps the next step is to find a way to claim rights to all potential free agents.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. There is still time to make up for missing out on trading A-Rod. After dealing free agent Silva away to the Sox, the Twins should then flip Kent Hrbek and Kirby Puckett to the Yankees for Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod would fill the Twins' third base hole and Puckett, being dead, would not take up valuable payroll space. This would please owner Carl Pohlad and free us up to pursue another free agent.

Except we never need to pursue free agents again: just trade them. See the beauty of this?

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 28, 2007 7:06 PM | Comments (0)

 

An ugly collapse

Hawks 94, Timberwolves 87
Season record: 1-10

It all seemed so simple. Get the ball inside to Jefferson. Let him take his defender to the basket, or, if double-teamed, have him pass out to the open man, who would then nail his shot. Force difficult shots on defense. Box out and battle for rebounds. Repeat as necessary.

It worked great for the first half of Saturday’s game against the Atlanta Hawks, during which the Wolves looked like a confident, assertive, winning team. Jefferson in particular came out of the block strong, hitting all four of his shots and both free-throws for 10 first-quarter points to go along with eight boards. And he wasn’t alone. In the first half, ‘Toine was 5-5 with two threes and 12 points. McCants, Jaric, and Telfair were a combined 9-13 for 22 points. The team as a whole shot 66 percent, and turned the ball over a mere four times. And they were up by 18 at the break.

Then it all fell apart.

Let’s turn it over to coach Wittman, who after a good ten seconds of standing silent at the podium in the post-game press conference, rubbing his eyes and scanning the papers stacked in front of him, fielded the first question:

"What happened?"

Wittman: "You tell me."

The coach soon elaborated. “We played scared. We played on our heels. We played not to lose, instead of to win,” he said of the second half in which his team was outscored 49-24. “I’m a loss right now to explain why… I’ve got to figure out a reason why. It’s not youth. It’s not inexperience.”

Asked if this was the toughest loss to take yet, he nodded. “This is pretty tough,” he said. And he looked like he meant it.

Sideline Notes
Josh Childress, the afro-sporting, ugly-jumpshot-owning, Stanford-onetime-attending forward for the Hawks bears a striking resemblance to Bubbles, the heroin-addled moral center of HBO’s The Wire. Which is not to say that Childress looks strung out, or that Bubbles has an afro (it’s more of an anti-haircut), but just that they have very similar facial bone structure. We just thought you should know.

We wanted to chat with Childress, as well as with the monstrous shot-blocking machine that is Josh Smith, who we hear is also a swell guy, and ask them about stuff, but we were too tardy in getting over to the visitors’ locker room after the game. It was a ghost town when we showed up. So, apologies for lack of excitement on that front.

Green Envy
We were wrong about Gerald Green getting more time on the floor after his solid performance against Cleveland. He did get 12 (mostly unproductive) minutes Friday against Denver, during which he missed all three of his shots and turned the ball over twice. But on Saturday, even as the Wolves were imploding in the second half, even with McCants coming off a dreadful 1-15 performance the night before, even with no one “throwing haymakers” in response to “getting punched in the mouth,” as Wittman put it a couple games back, the coach didn’t call Green’s number. After the game, Gerald kept things in perspective.

"We've just got to make things happen," he said.

Green added that he's been working in practice on "taking over" games. "I want the ball in my hands," he said.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at November 26, 2007 12:35 AM | Comments (1)

 

A Giant game today for the up and down Vikes

Filed under: NFL

PRE-GAME REPORT

Minnesota (4-6) at New York Giants (7-3), noon

A trip to the Meadowlands will forever remind me of the 2000 playoff game when the Giants pummeled the Vikings 41-0. That game unofficially signaled the end of an underachieving era in Minnesota professional football. That team was supposed to avenge the 1998-99 team’s meltdown against Atlanta and finally return the purple to the Super Bowl. After 14 weeks that team was an impressive 11-2. But after a mini collapse forced them to go on the road to face the Giants in the NFC Championship game, the season was almost over before the Vikes’ #1 ranked offense took the field. The game was so lop-sided that Randy Moss frustratingly uttered these fateful words after the game, "It's going to be hard for us to win a Super Bowl in Minnesota. I don't want to really say Minnesota is never going to win the Super Bowl, but it's going to be hard for them to get it. ... I can't really say I'm going to be a Minnesota Viking in a couple years."

While today’s game in New York isn’t an NFC Championship game with a ticket to the big show on the line, it is a very important game for this team that symbolizes inconsistency. The NFC this year is weak and Minnesota’s schedule is very favorable. With an upset today and a win next week against the struggling Detroit Lions at home, the Vikings will all of a sudden be in the mix for a wild card berth.

That last sentence is harder to type than believe.

But these days, an 8-8 record might back you in to post-season play. Then again, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Adrian Peterson will not be exploding down the sidelines today. Tarvaris Jackson will be in the sights of one of the best pass rushes in the game, part of me (my brain) thinks he’ll last a quarter and a half before we see Kelly Holcomb. Throw in the fact that the Giants are hungry and trying to keep pace with America’s Team in the NFC east and today’s game doesn’t look good on paper.

But to a Giants fan, the 2000 NFC Championship game didn’t look good on paper.

HALFTIME REPORT

Minnesota 24, New York Giants 7

Wow! The Vikings secondary comes up big in the first half with two interceptions, one returned for a touchdown by Darren Sharper who always has a big game in New York. No surprise in how Minnesota’s defensive line played the run holding NYG running back Reuben Droughns to 39 yards. Eli Manning is struggling, big time. His receivers and him need to have a sit down if they expect to come back in the second half. Of course Eli has known bad days before.

Ha ha.

Actually, I’m enjoying watching an opponents quarterback struggle for a change.

That said, no one will confuse Tarvaris Jackson with Tom Brady anytime soon but he is avoiding the big mistake and if he can continue to make a play or two and just hand the ball off to Taylor to shorten the game, the Vikings might pull this off.

POST-GAME REPORT

Minnesota 41, New York Giants 17

Zygi’s team is on the rise.

It’s a sweet day to be a Vikings fan. It’s even sweeter if you’re Vikings owner and New Jersey native Zygi Wilf.

Wilf was cut to multiple times during today’s broadcast getting “Zygi” with it, flaunting a smile that seemed to say, “Das ist gut.” In what can only be described as a thumping of the NFC wild card leading New York Giants and their quarterback Eli “the poor man’s” Manning, the Vikings flexed their defensive muscles today and are making some noise as they inch ever closer to the second wild card spot.

Poor Eli. He isn’t the biggest Vikes fan. Only twice has he been picked 4 times in one game and both times happened against Minnesota. Today’s pick fest was especially fruitful, leading directly to 21 points on run backs by Sharper, Dwight Smith, and Chad Greenway. Minnesota’s offense can always use the help and even though the offensive game wasn’t pretty, the team moved to 5-0 this year when scoring 20+ points. The Giants got a heavy dose of Chester Taylor and he had a respectable, albeit understated game with 78 yards rushing on 31 attempts. The story in today’s game was the pressure Vikings defense put on Eli and how he, ah-hem… responded.

Let’s hope this two game winning streak continues. Next week’s match-up at the Metrodome looms large for the Vikings. Detroit (6-5) will hope to end a 3 game slide and maintain their spot as #2 in the NFC north. Adrian “All Day” Peterson is on schedule to make his return to the line-up and contribute to NFL’s #1 rushing attack. If the defense can stay hot Zygi might have a reason to smile big come this January.

Posted by Eric Refsland at November 25, 2007 11:29 AM | Comments (3)

 

Hot Stove: Why it's Good That the Twins Didn't Re-Sign Torii Hunter

Filed under: MLB

(Here's my clever, non-ironic subtitle: and why it'll be even better when they don't re-sign Carlos Silva. Yes, I'm serious, and we'll talk about Silva in detail when he signs).

Few expected Torii Hunter to be back in a Twins uniform next season, so the fact that he signed with the Angels for five years and scads of money that the A.P. reports to be $90 million is no surprise. You'll likely still hear friends, neighbors and pundits bemoaning the departure of the star center fielder.

You shouldn't listen.

After you've eaten your last slice of pie and reflected on all you have to be thankful for, you should add this to the list -- that the Twins aren't going to pay Hunter a premium based on what he did in years past. This team needs to look hard at what players are likely to do in the future, and there's a miniscule chance that Hunter is performing up to this contract by year three -- let alone the final two years, when he'll be 36 and 37 years old, respectively.

David Cameron is one of the sharpest baseball minds I know, and he listed Hunter as the most dangerous landmine in the free agent market this month. Carlos Silva was number two. I'll summarize Dave's argument thusly: it doesn't make sense to commit tons of cash to a player who is getting older, and though talented, isn't as stellar as his name value indicates.

In the short term, it'll sting to lose Hunter's offensive punch, especially given the Judy-without-the-Punch offense the Twins are running out there these days. In the long run, though, this is the right move. Especially when your team has chosen not to be a big-budget player, avoiding commitment to players through their decline years is essential. It's frustrating to watch established players leave, and I'm a big Hunter fan. But it makes more sense to catch players on their way up.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 22, 2007 5:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Unchosen

Filed under: Timberwolves

Cavaliers 97, Wolves 86
Season record: 1-8

LeBron James has a tattoo across his back that violates both traditional rules of modesty and AP style. It reads: “Chosen 1.” The point being, LBJ—we’d call him “King LeBron,” but we’re not looking to vomit in our mouth today—is a preternaturally cocky guy. But with games like Wednesday night’s effort against the Wolves, it’s hard to argue much with the man. He scored 45 points on 26 shots, and he hit six of 10 three-pointers, including back-to-back treys in the middle of his minute-and-a-half personal 10-0 run that extended a four-point lead to an insurmountable 14 with less than two minutes to play.

Indeed, James hit shots all night long. He also penetrated at will, drawing fouls, and finding the open man with nifty, seemingly effortless no-look passes. Not only was he the best player on the floor while barely breaking a sweat, but, to bring out an old chestnut, he made those around him better.

The Wolves, by contrast, struggled. Depleted (Foye still out with that troubling knee injury, Telfair attending his grandmother’s funeral), they relied on Marko and Buckner at the point. Not helping matters was a dreadful performance from McCants, who forced his shot on a night when it wasn’t there, and turned the ball over with impunity. Four minutes into the third quarter, Wittman sent him to the bench, where he remained for the rest of the game.

Truly, Madly, Deeply
With Ratliff’s gimpy knee keeping him out another game, the Wolves rotated three players at center. They put up a combined one shot for zero points (albeit with only one turnover and eight boards). But one of those centers was Mark Madsen, making his first appearance this season after a jet-ski accident over the summer. And while we enjoyed his array of charcoal and off-blue courtside suits, it was nice to see the Mad Dog on the floor. He was like a puppy who’d been cooped up all day finally set free to spaz out on the lawn. He was running here to there, there to here. Going for the ball, getting offensive rebounds. It made us tired just looking at him, and sort of hopeful.

Intrigue
After the game, Wittman was the most pissed we’ve seen him this young season. It wasn’t so much the refs (“We’re not getting calls. Jiminy Christmas, I don’t want to get into that,” he said, referring to the 33-13 disparity at the free-throw line) or even players showing up late to shootarounds (Corey Brewer sat out the first half as punishment, but played the entire fourth quarter). It was more Rashad McCants, who Wittman implied was playing like a petulant wuss. “We’re not talented enough right now to just play and hope that it happens,” said Wittman, who spoke ominously of looking for five players who wouldn’t quit when the team “gets punched in the mouth.”

“I found some guys there at the end who at least fought back,” he said. And who, pray tell, was Wittman talking about? Primarily, Gerald Green.

Last Friday, we spoke to Green after he logged zero minutes in a loss to the Wizards, his latest in a string of DNP-CDs. He expressed his frustration, talking about how hard it was to ride the bench when he could be out there helping his team.

Well, tonight he got his chance. Green responded with easily his most productive game of the season. He wasn’t looking to shoot immediately, he moved well without the ball, and he took good, open looks at the basket. In 20+ minutes, Green hit 6-8 shots for 13 points, including a thundering dunk after a floor-length run off a tipped pass. As Wittman put it, in a barely veiled shot at McCants, “He didn’t care what the score was or who was guarding him. He just played.”

After the game, we asked the Green Monster if he thought the performance was a harbinger of things to come—if coach would have to keep putting him in the game.

“I’m just here to help my team any way I can,” he said, clearly having cranked up his platitude machine in preparation for questions from reporters. “Every decision that coach makes is always going to be a great one.”

But look for Green to get 15+ minutes in Friday’s game. And if he responds, look for him to keep getting minutes. And look for those minutes to come at the expense of Rashad McCants who, only nine games into the season, has already exasperated his head coach.

Locker room notes
After the game, we popped by the visitors’ locker room to catch a glimpse of LeBron James. As we were waiting, we saw: Zydrunas Ilgauskus, with both his legs in buckets of ice water, looking sage and a little sad and, also, 7’3”. An aside: 7’3” is very tall. 6’10” is like, shit man, you’re a tall dude. But 7’3”? It’s like, do you live in one of those houses with telephones the size of television sets and television sets the size of sideways refrigerators? Wow. But he was very nice, and said nice things about Al Jefferson, who he’d guarded for much of the night.

Also, Drew Gooden. You probably remember him as the guy with the awful round nubbin of hair surrounded on all sides by shaved scalp just north of his rear neckline. He’s shaved it off, which we should all be able to agree is a good thing. But why, we were curious, had Gooden leveled his terrible hair island?

“I was getting jealous of it,” said the affable, approachable sidekick to the self-appointed Second Coming. In an instant, his friendly nature made us regret many nights of making fun of the dude’s unsightly misplaced hair-poof.

Jealous?

“Yeah, it was getting more attention than I was. And it was causing too much grief for my family.”

Apparently, his mom was getting shit from her friends about it. So it had to go. Rest assured, Gooden is focusing his attention elsewhere, follicle-wise. He’s growing a full beard, which gives him a measure of gravitas. (As for who it makes him look like, says Gooden: “I’ve been getting a lot of Common.”)

Oh, and LeBron eventually came out of the shower, but was immediately surrounded by a swarm of reporters asking questions like “How did it feel to be so awesome tonight?” and “Is it awesome to be so awesome? It must be. Tell me about that.” We’re paraphrasing, but you get the idea. We left before Adrian Peterson, who’d taken in the game courtside, came in to pay his respects to the Chosen 1. We’re sorry we missed their conversation. No doubt it was totally awesome.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at November 22, 2007 12:42 PM | Comments (0)

 

Cyclowned: Benjamin Polk blogs Gopher hoops

You know Benjamin Polk from his work on the Timberwolves. He'll still augment Jonathan Kaminsky's coverage of pro basketball, but we've also inked a deal with Polk to cover the emerging Tubby Smith Era at the University of Minnesota. This is his first Gopher post.

Radio On!
Considering that a person can turn on a TV and watch Kent Hrbek fish, I find it rather amazing that Tuesday's Gophers-Iowa State game could not be found on television anywhere, on any channel. I mean, is it possible that the matrix of visual culture could have failed to extend its reach, even to something as admittedly marginal as an early season college basketball game between two mediocre teams? Apparently. So, remembering all that can be gleaned from listening to a baseball game on the radio—the rhythms of the game, the rich textures of sound, the charming and melodic banter — I thought it would be interesting to try and listen to the entirety of the game on good old WCCO 830. It was not interesting. It turns out that listening to basketball on the radio is nothing like listening to baseball. In fact, it's not much different than sitting in front of the computer, watching the score update on the internet, something I'm embarrassed to say I have actually done. The lone advantage of the radio being that you can hear plainly when someone misses a shot, a sound I became very familiar with during the course of this game.

In any case, the Gophers managed to beat the Cyclones 68-58 in Tubby Smith's second game as head coach, boosting their record to 2-0. Iowa State finished in the lower tier of the Big 12 last year, and lost their leading scorer, Mike Taylor, who was kicked off the team for (as commentator Mike Grimm put it) “an accumulation of minor arrests”. But this was a road game, in front of what sounded like a hostile crowd, and considering how unwatchable the Gophers were last year, even against lesser competition (I'm thinking in particular of the excruciating and dispiriting loss to Northwestern), I'd say there's reason to be encouraged.

Ralphie and Me
I was still a very young guy when Ralph Sampson was at the height of his powers with the Houston Rockets, before injuries and a mercurial temperament unraveled his career. He was an epically dominant college player at Virginia and a very good NBA player for a while—he and Hakeem Olajuwan were nicknamed “The Twin Towers” which, you know, probably won't happen again — but I'm a bit young to remember that stuff. My first and lasting memory of the man is watching him punch the Celtics' 6'1” Jerry Sichting in the face, starting a brief but intense bench-clearing brawl in Game 5 of the 1986 NBA Finals. Disgracefully, the episode is nowhere to be found on YouTube but I swear on the memory of my daydreaming, arm-flapping eight-year-old self that it really happened. I don't remember much else about that series (except for the fact that Bill Walton played in it), but the sudden violence of the situation and sheer ridiculousness of watching a 7'4” inch man with history's knobbiest knees attempt physical aggression has been seriously seared on my consciousness. Sorry Ralph, but I'm afraid that, for a whole generation of basketball fans, your crowning achievement is attempting to fight a guy nearly two feet shorter than yourself.

Well, things have really come full circle. You'll not find me reporting on recruiting too often—the whole specter of middle-aged men all googly-eyed and salivating like R. Crumb cartoons over 17-year-old boys whom they intend to professionalize (very, very briefly, and without actual remuneration) is just too unseemly and depressing for me to take. I'll just watch the games, thanks. But I'm very happy to report that Ralph Sampson III — a bit less gangly, but also probably less good at basketball than his famous Dad — has signed to play for the Gophers next year.

This becomes significant because the very same Jerry Sichting is now an assistant coach for the Timberwolves, bringing all the players in that two decades-old drama, myself included, back home to Minnesota where they belong.
-- Benjamin Polk

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 21, 2007 7:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Adopt-a-Duck Sooner Ummm ...

Filed under: College

Love college football? Want to forget that the Gophers have a team? Looking to root for a feel-good team as the national championship picture takes shape?

Well, me too. After this past weekend, anyway.

I was prepared to offer you my alma mater, the University of Oregon by-God Ducks. I even had a post half-ready with the reasons, including Oregon's slow, steady climb from obscurity, the team's jarring uniform transitions which will always keep you guessing, and the inherent awesomeness of having a duck as the mascot -- a fighting duck that is not afraid to whup a cougar. I mean, who roots against a duck? Even hunters don't.

I even had a cute and eerie video ready to include:

Naturally, my hubris was punished. The Ducks not only fell on the road at Arizona, dooming their national championship hopes, but Heisman hopeful Dennis Dixon tore his ACL -- perhaps karmic retribution for my Top 10 Worst ACL Injuries post.

Then it got worse.

As it happens, one of my closest friends is a fan of the Oklahoma Sooners, another of the teams fighting for shot at the national title. We had talked about -- should our teams meet in the final BCS game -- going out together. Disappointed I was in the Ducks' loss, I figured hey, at least I can just write a post endorsing my buddy's team.

Yeah. You guessed it. Quarterback hurt. Team upset, chances of a national title dashed.

Now, I am reduced to rooting for whatever scenario will utterly dismantle the credibility of the Bowl Championship Series system, allowing a much-needed playoff system to emerge from the wreckage. Also, I'm searching for a team to back in the absence of any local favorite, alma mater, or even friend's team to support. Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments.

In the meantime, here is the moral of the story: I am a jinx. For a small fee, I am willing to become a fan of your favorite team's most hated rival. If my track record is reliable, it will be money well spent.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 19, 2007 3:57 PM | Comments (1)

 

1-7, and ready for more

Filed under: Timberwolves

Friday: Wizards 105, Timberwolves 89
“We pissed down our legs.” At least that’s what we think Randy Wittman said in the post-game press conference after his team’s second-half collapse against the talented and resurgent Washington Wizards. Half-assed reporter that we are, we didn’t have our tape-recorder with us. In any case, it’s an apt characterization of his team’s second-half effort.

After strong first-half performances from Sebastian Telfair (3-3 shooting, 3 dimes, no turnovers) and Antoine Walker (3-4 from downtown, with 3 steals), our heroes were up four at the half. Further, they managed to build a 12-point lead midway through the third quarter. But that +8 stretch in the third was something of a mirage. In those six minutes, the Wizards missed several open looks, while the Wolves, with Jaric running the point, settled for jump shots and, thanks largely to McCants’ hot hand, managed to make some of them. But when the Wizards inevitably started hitting, and as the Wolves kept settling for jumpers and inevitably started missing, the lead evaporated within four minutes. And when Wittman finally put Telfair back in to run the point with less than three minutes left in the period and with the Wolves suddenly up by only two, the young guard wasn’t able to get his team back in a rhythm. And then Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler took over.

In other news, in a likely nod to the unwatchable Nacho Libre, Arenas has taken to hollering “Nacho” instead of "Hibachi" after his made shots.

Saturday: Hornets 100, Timberwolves 82
We could talk about Telfair having a solid game (7-11 from the field for 15 points, along with three assists), or McCants struggling (2-10 for seven points, along with three turnovers, and long stretches of the second half on the bench), or Peja Stojakovic having the prettiest jump shot in the league (4-6 from downtown, mostly guarded by Corey Brewer), but we’ll just leave it at this: It’s a bad sign when your team doesn’t have an answer for Melvin Ely. The Hornets put their backup center in to start the fourth quarter, up 74-61. And he delivered. Playing against Jefferson, he hit a nifty jump hook, then, on the next possession, tipped in a missed shot. Recognizing the mismatch, Wittman subbed Jefferson out for the redoubtable Chris Richard. Unfortunately, our favorite rookie (sorry, Corey Brewer) didn’t fare much better, with Ely dunking on him less than a minute later. Ely’s final line: 10 points on 5-6 shooting in under 10 minutes. Ouch.

Locker Room Notes
-After Friday’s game, we asked Gerald Green how it feels to spend all his time on the bench.

“I ain’t gonna lie,” he said. “It’s hard. It’s hard watching your team out there losing and knowing you could go out and help.”

In professional sports, every benchwarmer, everyone toiling in the developmental or minor leagues, believes they’re one fair shot away from the big time. You have to. Because if you don’t, it’s time to find a new line of work.

On Saturday, we’re happy to report, Green got a few minutes of garbage time in the fourth. His line was unimpressive. In six minutes, he missed all three shots he took, picking up one board and one assist.

After the game, munching on lukewarm pizza in the locker room, he seemed bummed out.

“I missed some jumpers,” he said.

But he had taken good shots, we pointed out, and it didn’t seem as if he was trying to force things. Unlike, we didn’t point out, some of his earlier efforts.

“I’m not going out there looking to score right away,” he said. Which, all things considered, is a good sign.

-After Saturday’s game, a teammate was admiring Antoine Walker's remarkably large and glittery watch when we made the mistake of asking about it. 'Toine wasn’t interested in humoring us: “I’ve been in the league 20 years, son,” he said, adding that watches like that come with the territory.

Fair enough, although it’s really been more like 13 years. For the record, we were just trying to make friendly conversation. We suppose when you're dealing with dudes who rarely show up at games and write ad hominem shit (see last paragraph) about you on a semi-regular basis, it gets old talking to reporters. Again, fair enough.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at November 18, 2007 2:45 PM | Comments (0)

 

Welcome Back, Daunte: Eric Refsland blogs the Vikings

Filed under: NFL

PRE-GAME REPORT
Oakland (2-7) at Minnesota (3-6), noon

A lot has been made this week of the Oakland Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin being a Minnesota Vikings ball boy during the late 1980’s and early 90s. His father, Monte, was an assistant with the Vikings and Lane spent a lot of time around the players and coaches soaking up the atmosphere. Im kind of jealous. Not that Lane got to be around the players or at the games during this time, but because he might have witnessed first hand what I believe to be the greatest moment in Minnesota Vikings history. No, not the 4 Super Bowl appearances, not the 15-1 Vikes of the 98-99 season, no not even the majestic Herschel Walker trade. The greatest moment was November 12, 1989 during the post game interview with then-head coach Jerry Burns. Download it here or listen to it streaming here:

Awesome.

Makes you long for that kind of passion today. And the best part about that day is that the Vikings won the game 23-21. Imagine what Jerry might have said if the Vikings had lost.

I’m excited for today’s game. I know, the threat of Adrian Peterson getting the handoff and busting the 80 yard touchdown will be missing and the Minnesota quarterback carousel continues, but I’m excited because Daunte Culpepper is the Raiders’ starting quarterback.

Culpepper, who was traded from the Vikes to the Dolphins before the 2006 season after setting the record for “most torn ligaments in one knee – ACL, MCL, PCL”, now gets the nod in Oakland every time the Raiders play one of his former teams. The Revenge Factor is off the charts. I think Al Davis (owner of the Oakland Raiders) looked at the 2007 schedule and said, “We play Miami and Minnesota this year. Let’s get Daunte, this will be fun.” It worked out well week 4 when Daunte scored four touchdowns against Miami, two through the air and two rushing scores -- maybe we should be worried, he probably hates us more. In any event, Daunte’s return to the Metrodome should provide some much needed drama in a game between two teams headed in the wrong direction.

HALFTIME REPORT

Raiders 19, Vikings19

What a frustrating half of football!

Look no further than the 4 ugly turnovers to know why the Oakland Raiders are tied with the Vikings at the half. Chester Taylor is running all over the Raiders defense. Eighty-five yards on 11 carries and 2 touchdowns answers the question of whether Adrian Peterson’s absence would hurt the team offensively. After going for only 247 yards of total offense last week against the Pack, the Vikings have 291 yards in the first half. On the other side, the Vikings defensive line is shutting down the Raiders’ running game. Justin Fargas who probably has the worst name of any NFL running back, has only 24 yards on 12 carries. Minnesota should have at least 14 more points, but after an interception in the end zone and three costly fumbles the team is squandering many opportunities. Meanwhile the Raiders are making the most of the Vikes’ mistakes. Minnesota is once again showing off that last-in-the-NFL pass defense in allowing 174 yards in the air from the immoble Daunte on only 9 completions. That’s nearly 20 yards a completion!

Look for ball control to play a big part in the second half. If the Vikings can just hold on to the ball and continue to pound the ball with Taylor, they’ll be all right. However, if you give the ‘Pep enough chance to burn the Vikes’ secondary with the long ball, we could be in for some uncomfortable shots of Daunte getting his “roll on.”

POST-GAME REPORT

Raiders 22, Vikings 29

It ain’t easy being Chester.

You rush for 1,216 yards last year and your team drafts Adrian Peterson, a running back, with the 7th pick in the draft. OK. You are named the starting running back at the beginning of the season but watch as the rookie slowly earns the bulk of the carries. All right. You watch as Adrian Peterson sets the Vikings records and then the NFL single game rushing mark. Wow. Chester Taylor could have been upset. He could have wanted out, to get more carries on another team. But then the rookie gets hurt, and without skipping a beat Chester is ready to pick up where he left off last year.

This game was all about Chester Taylor.

Overcoming a half of turnovers and points basically handed to the opponent, the Vikings returned to a winning game plan of running the ball down Oakland’s throat and pressuring Daunte Culpepper to win their fourth game of the year. Taylor had a very Peterson-like game rushing for 164 yards and 3 touchdowns with Adrian cheering him on from the sideline.

The defense also stepped it up the second half allowing only one score, a 52 yard field goal by the sure-footed Sebastian Janikowski. Of course it helps when Daunte decided to remind every Minnesota Vikings fan what we hated most about his play. Late in the 3rd quarter with the Raiders trailing by only three points, Culpepper fumbled away the ball, which led to Taylors 3rd touchdown early in the fourth quarter.

Back to reality:

The Vikings have yet to win two consecutive games this season. Next week's contest at the Meadowlands against the New York Giants will be a challenge for this team that hasn’t played well on the road. The Giants have a team fighting for a playoff spot with weapons on both sides of the ball. While it won't be easy to get a win, the Vikings' best chance rests with the bright spots from this week: running the ball and minimizing mistakes. Think second half of today's game, not the first.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 18, 2007 11:18 AM | Comments (0)

 

I will be dining at Ben's Chili Bowl this weekend

Filed under: Soccer

For the third straight year I'll be in attendance at the MLS Cup on Sunday in D.C. The good news is that it's not in Frisco, Texas--that godforsaken wasteland north of Dallas that has all the charm of a moldy soft taco. The bad news is that D.C. United once again got dumped in the playoffs after finishing with the best record in the league.

I'm nominally a D.C. fan. I lived there in the early years of MLS and spilled enough beer on strangers at raucous RFK Stadium matches to forever have a soft spot in my heart for the black and red. But more importantly, I'm bummed because there will once again be no home squad and therefore a rather tepid atmosphere. D.C. had sold 36,000 tickets as of earlier this week. If United were in the championship match it would most definitely be a glorious, ear-blistering sellout. Instead we'll get 40,000-odd fans--the vast majority of which are uncertain who the hell to cheer for. Many of them will be drunk, bitter D.C. supporters.

But New England is offering free bus rides down I-95 to the faithful, so there should be a decent contingent of Revolution fans. And the Houston supporters, in just two seasons, have proven themselves among the league's most ardent jackasses. The two sold out playoff games at Robertson Stadium, with seemingly every yahoo in the crowd clad in orange, were glorious to watch. We'll see how many make the long journey east.

There are a number of intriguing story lines in this rematch of last year's MLS Cup: Can Houston survive the almost-certain absence of Brian Ching? Will New England finally break its MLS Cup curse, having lost in three of the last five title matches? Can Taylor Twellman and company find some way to break down the dominant Dynamo defense? Will Nate Jaqua try to take someone's head off with another vicious forearm shiver (see the 40th minute)?

We'll find out Sunday at noon EST. My prediction: Houston 1-0. Jaqua nods home a Brian Mullan cross for the victory.

Posted by Paul Demko at November 16, 2007 10:38 AM | Comments (0)

 

I just can't get enough of that David Beckham cologne

Filed under: Soccer

I was too busy drinking beer, directing choruses of "we sing better than your wife" at Beckham, and making a general jackass out of myself to do any reporting at Sunday's Thunder-Galaxy game at the Metrodome. But luckily Brian Quarstad was on the scene. He filed this excellent audio report for Blue Sky Soccer. He also took some fine photos, including that one of me inexplicably wearing a rainbow-hued propeller hat.

Posted by Paul Demko at November 15, 2007 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

 

Wolves Win!

Filed under: Timberwolves

Wolves 108, Kings 103

"Finally." That was the first word out of Randy Wittman's mouth at the post-game press conference Wednesday night. And why not? It sucks to start a season with a prolonged losing streak, even a season that everyone is preemptively chalking up to a rebuilding effort.

Unfortunately, it's hard to imagine the Wolves winning too many more games like this one. Here's the problem: Pretty much every T-Wolf had a good--or at least decent--outing. And they beat the Sacramento Kings (1-5 against the rest of the league, with their only win coming against the lowly Supersonics) by five points. At home.

You can go right down the list.
-Rashad McCants had 33 points on 13 of 22 shooting, including 4 of 7 from downtown.
-Al Jefferson was fantastic in the low post, shooting 11 of 16 for 23 points, to go along with 7 boards and 3 blocks.
-'Toine hit half his shots for 19 points and gave up only one turnover.
-Marko actually ran the point effectively in the second half, didn't shoot too much (2 of 6 for 9 points), and picked up 8 boards.
-Even Chris Richard, in less than four minutes of action, hit a bucket and picked up an offensive rebound.

It's a simple point, but a sobering one: Good teams find ways to win on off nights. The T-Wolves picked up their first win in game where pretty much everyone contributed.

Well, except for Gerald Green, who never got in the game. But even the normally surly-looking benchman was seen doling out a couple high-fives, and helping Ratliff up from his supine position when the big man was called back to battle.

Don't get me wrong. It's great that they won. It's certainly more fun for everyone when they do. All's I'm saying is, don't hold your breath for the next W.

Favorite Moment:
With the Wolves up 96-90 and just over two minutes remaining, Brad Miller made an ill-advised pass into the paint. Reading it all the way, Rashad McCants picked it off, dribbled the length of the floor, and finished with a nifty finger-roll. It iced the game, and it was only fitting that it was McCants--who was hitting from pretty much everywhere, all night long--that made the decisive play.

A pattern?
T-Wolves' record in games where Al Jefferson scores a double-double: 0-5
T-Wolves' record in games where Al Jefferson does not score a double-double: 1-0

Trillion Report
No trillions to report tonight. Oddly, though, in what turned out to be Antoine Walker's most productive game since joining the Wolves, he started the game with a five trillion.

Locker Room Notes:
Speaking of 'Toine, it was just a few days ago, after registering his first career DNP-CD, when he told the Strib that "I don't know what I'm doing here."

Thirty minutes of playing time later, and it's all "I'm here to help the team" and "I get the situation with Craig." (Craig Smith was out for the game with a turned ankle, enabling Walker to get all that playing time).

In a league full of epic tattoos, Rashad McCants has a couple that stand out for sheer self-important amazingness. The tats in questions are prominently displayed on each of Shaddy's million-dollar arms. On the right: Born To Be Hated. On the left: Dying To Be Loved.

Which brings up an important issue: The NBA is home to some remarkable tattoos. Perhaps it's time we had an NBA all-tattoo team?

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at November 14, 2007 11:02 PM | Comments (0)

 

Twins acquire Craig Monroe; occasional wailing breaks through the yawns

Filed under: Twins

I heard a bad joke last night that makes me think of yesterday afternoon's acquisition of Craig Monroe by the Twins -- which, to be fair, is actually itself a bad joke.

The joke goes like this. A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into a bar. Shortly thereafter, they see that there is a fire in the wastebasket. While the other patrons run out, the physicist says, "We have to cool down the materials so that their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature; then the fire will go out!" The chemist says, "No! Let's cut off the supply of oxygen; that way, the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants!"

Then they notice that the statistician is moving around the bar, starting other fires. "What are you doing?" they cry. Says the statistician: "Trying to get an adequate sample size."

This is not, you will note, funny. But neither is the trade, which makes me also want to start fires. And the joke holds a clue as to why I'm reaching for matches.

Craig Monroe is a player with one skill. He hits for some power. By "some," I mean he has a career .446 slugging percentage, a pedestrian number for a corner outfielder. He doesn't get on base, doesn't play good defense, and doesn't play a position where talent is scarce.

Sure, the Twins didn't give up much -- the vaunted "player to be named" -- but this is a player who was likely to be non-tendered, a guy who doesn't do much more than fill a spot for you. Oh, yes: he also takes up roughly $5 million in payroll, and he'll be paid to deliver production that we might charitably call replacement level.

I'd rather the team acquire the rights to the canon of Bill Monroe. He wouldn't hit as much, but he wouldn't curtail pursuit of other free agents, and we'd get to listen to bluegrass all season.

So why bring Craig Monroe in? As the Strib's Joe Christensen notes, "Monroe has been a notorious Twins killer throughout his career, batting .322 against them with 13 home runs in 283 at-bats. He has batted .304 in 35 career games at the Metrodome." Basically, he's killed Minnesota during a few trips here, and that makes him look better than he actually is.

This is where the team is starting fires like the statistician in the joke. The existing sample that tells us Monroe is not a major league starter isn't enough -- let's run him out there some more, just to be sure.

See, it's fundamentally a sample size issue. Do you believe the 200+ at bats he's had against the Twins, or the 2000+ other at bats elsewhere in the majors? Yeah, the Dome's a better place to hit than Detroit, but 35 games is nothing as far as evidence of production goes. Also recall also that Monroe turns 31 in February. We ought to expect a decline from a player of his skill set.

Moves like this -- for middling, veteran talent -- don't help most teams. Winning teams usually fill rosters will players of rare skill (for which they pay a premium) and young, inexpensive talent that has room to improve, thus freeing up money to pursue the top-tier category of players. Players like Monroe aren't young enough that we can reasonably expect them to get better, cost more than younger talent, and are freely available in the minor leagues or on the waiver wire (which is why most people think he was about to be non-tendered).

The one level this trade might make sense on is if the Twins think acquiring Monroe will help them re-sign Torii Hunter, since the two are friends. Re-signing Hunter would be a bad idea, too, a topic I'll tackle in a later post, but the larger point is that moves should make sense for their own sake.

This one doesn't, whether you ask a stathead or a scientist.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 14, 2007 7:03 AM | Comments (0)

 

Top 10 ACL Injury Videos

Filed under: Frivolous

You're welcome, Vikings fans.

For what, you ask? After watching Sunday's shameful drubbing at the hands of Green Bay, the mood among my friends grew somber. We'd watched the Future, the Franchise, the Purple Jesus, leave with a knee injury. Was it serious, I wondered out loud. "It's the Vikings," one friend remarked disgustedly. "We're cursed. Its a torn ACL, and he's done for sure." We agreed that the only way to prevent this was to attempt the rare reverse jinx, where we plan for that eventuality and treat it as a foregone conclusion.

In this case, I agreed to prepare a post featuring 10 of the worst ACL injury videos I'd ever seen. It was the only logical course of action. It would prevent the worst. It was The Right Thing To Do.

I went about the task with only a loose criteria: was it gruesome to watch? Will it make you grab for your own knee? Not all would have to be gross: there are some injuries that, because of the situation, just seemed to fit. I boiled all these factors together into a stew of grisly images and dark humor, and came up with the content after the jump.

The outcome was as we'd hoped. Adrian Peterson's injury was a lateral collateral ligament problem that will keep him out for week, but will not require surgery.

So: thank me now. Because you may be cursing me after you watch some of these. Ready to bury your heart (or at least your stomach) at wounded knee?

10. A high school wrestler blows out his knee
Ewwww Factor: 7
[X] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: Have the sound on? Be prepared for the sickening noise. It's visually not horrible, but the whole package is fairly grim. It's the popping that gets it on here.

9. The technical explanation from Dr. Allan Mishra
Ewwww Factor: 5 ... or is it 8?
[ ] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: This seems pretty boring at first. But it's a great technical description of what goes down, and seconds :24-:28 are surprisingly ... affecting.

8. Skateboarder tears ACL during competition
Ewwww Factor: 7
[X] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: This video is great for so many reasons. The minute of skateboarding, like a historical film about a horrifying event, leaves you in suspense as you await the inevitable outcome. Mostly, though, it's on here for the title: "Nate's ACL says 'Peace'."

7. Mary Pierce goes down during a WTA event
Ewwww Factor: 6
[ ] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: This tennis video isn't too tough to watch (that's the next tennis video on the list). If you watch it with the sound off, you won't even really understand. But if you listen, you will hear Pierce' screams in your head the rest of the day.

6. Milton Bradley falls victim to karma
Ewwww Factor: 4
[ ] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: The malcontent outfielder has caused lots of problems during his storied career. He is one angry dude, as my favorite Milton Bradley quote -- "You can't touch the umpire. You can't spit on the umpire. I know that. But you just get to the point where you're just, 'There, I got that off my chest.'" -- demonstrates. Here, he goes after an umpire, has to be restrained ... and tears his ACL. Schadenfreude-riffic!

5. Guy removes own catheter post-ACL surgery
Ewwww Factor: 9
[ ] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: Simultaneously gross and hilarious, it's random horrifying stuff like this that makes YouTube the experience it is. Doesn't feature the leg-disfigurements of the ensuing videos, but has a sickening power all its own. "Ooooh, that's a lot of blood."

4. Tony Allen, after the whistle
Ewwww Factor: 7
[ ] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: Perhaps the ultimate "reset the video game" moment in ACL injury history. Sometimes, injuries are part of the game. An errant helmet, a misstep on fast break. And sometimes, after the whistle blows, you decide to streak to the hoop, dunk the ball, and ... whoops, there goes the season. Okay, when I say "sometimes," I mean, that happened one time. To Tony Allen of the Boston Celtics. "Ewwww Factor" spikes to 10 if you're a Celtics fan.

Okay, we knew it would get to this point. The top three injuries are more than cringe-worthy. If you're already shuddering, consider yourself warned.

3. Michael Stich's tennis injury
Ewwww Factor: 9
[X] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: A leg is not supposed to bend like that. An ACL injury and so much more, this extremely short clip is the key winner in the "seconds to revulsion" category. It starts with a rolled ankle, and then, well ...

2. Willis McGahee's knee meets a helmet
Ewwww Factor: 10
[X] Will make you grab your knee instinctively
Is on here because: Is on here because? After watching it again, I'm still shocked it's not No. 1. The then-Miami running back takes a freak, direct hit to his knee, which gets all twisted like a yoga position.

1. Shaun Livingston and the fast break from hell
Ewwww Factor: 10
[X] Will make you grab your knee instinctively <--- If you don't grab your knee after watching that, there's something wrong with you
Is on here because: Possibly the most gruesome NBA injury of all time, this fast break gone bad is vile to watch. This Google search for "worst knee injury" + video shows just how much this has stayed in the popular consciousness.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 13, 2007 10:41 AM | Comments (0)

 

Buy Lo': Why the Twins Should Pursue Jose Lopez

Filed under: MLB

The hometown nine has a lot of work to do and decisions to make this offseason. With so many holes to fill, minor moves can make a difference, especially low-risk, high-reward moves that can make way for a bigger splash later. One such move: try to acquire young, disappointing infielder Jose Lopez from the Mariners. Here are five reasons this ought to happen.

1. The Twins can likely get Lopez for cheap. His stock with the M's had soured even before last year's disastrous season. Former manager Mike Hargrove tried to shoehorn Lopez into being a banjo hitter instead of letting the powerful young player swing away. The Mariners and their fans are fed up with Lopez, and not for no reason: he was brutal last year. Some years you're the windshield, some years you're the bug, and last year Lopez went splat.

But that brings us to the second reason this is a good idea.

2. At his worst, Jose Lopez is a better, cheaper player than Nick Punto. Lopez' salary is a paltry $500,000, a third what Punto makes. He also turns 24 this month (Punto turned 30 on Thursday), and most hitters peak in their late 20s. Even if he never gets better, he fills a hole and/or upgrades a position.

3. The Twins primary need is hitting. The Twins' primary commodity is cheap, quality young pitching ... which, coincidentally, is the Mariners' primary hole to fill. Ordinarily, I'm loath to float imaginary trades, since there are many factors in play we aren't privy to. But when one team is desperately seeking arms, and another team can afford to part with a mid-level prospect or decent innings eater, you've got to call a match a match.

4. The move would give the Twins roster flexibility. Lopez is cheap and under club control for another three years. The Twins need another infielder, and ideally two to push Punto to the bench. Adding an inexpensive player with some upside is a key first step. If it works out, great; if it doesn't, the team moves one with minimal investment lost. Plus, adding a cheap player enables bigger, splashier moves later.

5. A change of scenery could do Lopez good. He would move from Safeco Field, a crippling park for a right-handed hitter, to the Dome. Safeco is one of the best parks for pitchers in baseball, and it's likely that Lopez could take great strides based on his age and a shift to a hitter-friendly environment.

The argument against this move is that Lopez was awful last year, and there are flaws in his approach -- he's not nearly a patient enough hitter, for example. When you're dealing from strength and can make a low-risk move, though, this is not much of an argument against acquiring him.

Or at least for testing the waters. Make a call to Seattle GM Bill Bavasi, and see if Lopez can be had for someone like Nick Blackburn. If you can find a match, make the move, and check one item off the list.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 12, 2007 1:00 PM | Comments (0)

 

Vikings, Packers, battle at Lambeau: Eric Refsland blogs it

Filed under: NFL

This week, we're introducing our new Vikings blogger. Eric Refsland, a lifelong Vikes fan, is checking in with dispatches before, during and after the game. Watch this post for updates during the divisional clash with Green Bay. (And watch the site as we continue to sign free agent sports bloggers!)

PRE-GAME

The former democratic Senator from Minnesota, Eugene McCarthy, once said comparing politics to football: “You have to be smart enough to understand the game, dumb enough to think it’s important.” The Vikings this week were almost dumb enough to believe that football was more important than one of their starting receivers attending to his family after losing his grandmother. Almost, because the team decided on Saturday that they will not withhold a game check from Troy Williamson who missed last week’s win over the San Diego Chargers.

Thank God: the very last thing this organization needs is more negative national attention, especially negative attention concerning team-player relations. Isn’t it hard enough to convince a free agent to play here? “Come to Minnesota, play in the dome.” Very enticing. Now the pitch can include, “If the woman who raised you passes, we might just dock your pay.” I can almost hear the queue forming.

This is relevant because the team that takes the field this Sunday against the 7-1 Green Bay Packers is hardly a perfect unit. The most glaring need right now is at the quarterback position. The match-up against the Pack makes this fact even more obvious by contrast. Brett Favre needs 94 yards passing today to reach the 60,000 yard plateau for his career. The Vikes are starting Brooks Bollinger, who has 1,979 yards in his career. The sad thing here is Brooks is our best quarterback right now. Tarvaris Jackson is hurt, and the Vikings cut the recently signed Koy Detmer because Kelly Holcomb's neck has apparently improved enough that he can back-up Bollinger.

Typing those last few sentences made me weep.

This off-season is the time to get a QB. Donovan McNabb, Brady Quinn, or Matt Ryan from Boston College with our 1st round pick are possible solutions the Vikings' QB famine. This team has bright spots (Adrian Peterson, a strong defensive line), and now we need to build around this core. Let’s hope Funeral-Gate hasn’t hurt our chances.

The questions coming into today’s game are: Will Adrian Peterson continue to be successful against a good Packers’ defense that knows the Vikings lack a passing game? How many yards will Brett Favre pass for today? The Minnesota defense had a great game last week against San Diego; can they pressure Favre into make a few key bad decisions? This game will be close. Packers-Vikings clashes always are. I’m sure I won’t be the only one cheering a little harder for Troy Williamson.

HALFTIME

Packers 13, Vikings 0
Brett Favre 20/31 for 155 yards
Brooks Bollinger 3/6 for 7 yards

It’s amazing the Vikings are down only 13.That’s the good news at the half. We’ve only run 17 offensive plays!

It’s nice to have a stud running back, but it doesn’t do a team much good when you get down early and when you can’t rely on your quarterback to make a big play on third down to keep a drive alive. Favre is what we thought he was. A guy who somehow pulls off miraculous plays that make him a god in Wisconsin but an annoying thorn in the side of every Packers opponent.

The Vikings defense needs to find a way to get some pressure on Favre. Without that, this could be a very lopsided victory for Green Bay. The Packers came into the game averaging only 72 yards a game on the ground. Ryan Grant (who?) already has 92 yards.

The Vikings have been weak against the pass all year, but if we can’t stop the run either, we’re really in trouble.

Finally, you know it’s bad when Koren Robinson is making big plays.

I’m scared to watch this second half.

POST-GAME

Packers 34, Vikings 0

Did I say this game was going to be close?

You might ask, what does “Herman’s Head” have to do with today’s crushing defeat? Maybe you don’t remember “Herman’s Head”? That’s probably a good thing, but the above episode aired the last time the Vikings were shut out in a game -- September 22, 1991. It has been a long time.

The Green Bay Packers are really good. That’s what I keep telling myself so I don’t have to believe the Vikings are terrible. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s a little of column A, a little of column B. It pains me to acknowledge that the green and gold severely outplayed the purple and gold earning an enviable 8-1 record, but that was an ass-kicking plain and simple. The Vikings defense was dominated, Brett Favre could do no wrong, Adrian Peterson didn’t have the opportunities he needed and might be hurt, and the Packers’ Koren Robinson had nearly as many catches and yards as our leading receiver. Yikes. In a play that summed this game nicely, Ruvell Martin found the ball in his hands in the end zone after Darren Sharper and Cedric Griffin collided and gift-wrapped a touchdown for Favre and the Pack. Anyway you look at this game, it disappoints.

What do we have to look forward to? Well, the Raiders come to town next week. So we have that going for us ... which is nice. Beyond that, I think a lot of Vikes fans are already looking to next year and how this team can improve on both sides of the ball. Until then I think we need to get used to hearing a lot about Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Obviously, the Vikings' chance to quiet the praise of our neighbors came up a little short today.

Long anguished Vikings fan Eric Refsland grew up listening to legendary tales of a time when the Vikes went to the Super Bowl. His life’s ambition is to witness the purple and gold going all the way. He slept his way into writing this blog.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 11, 2007 11:14 AM | Comments (1)

 

Beckham-mania

Filed under: Soccer

The circus hits town on Sunday. Even Bob Sansevere has taken notice. I made it over to the Minnesota Thunder's practice yesterday at the Metrodome. I only caught a few minutes of scrimmage action, but this squad looks pretty impressive. Sebastien Le Toux and Hugo Alcarez-Cuellar, in particular, looked menacing.

In addition Metro columnist Scott Schneweis was training with the squad, apparently for a future piece. I can report with all honesty that he's got a rocket of a shot and seemed to acquit himself reasonably well. More impressively, Schneweis proceeded to change from his sweat-soaked practice clothes directly into a stunning three-piece powder blue suit (complete with matching shoes).

Brian Quarstad and I interviewed some of the players about the match. He's posted a complete audio report over at Blue Sky Soccer, but here's a few quotes:

Left-sided midfielder Dayton O'Brien was acquired earlier this month in a swap with the Atlanta Silverbacks. Last season he played in 19 games and scored one goal for a squad that advanced to the league championship game.

On the trade: "I couldn’t be happier to be here. With the new ownership group coming in and meeting new players and the guys already on the team and the coaching staff, it's a fine time to be a Minnesota Thunder player."

On playing against the most famous footballer on the planet: "It's great for the Minnesota Thunder. It's great for the community around here to get the word out about the team here. It's important for us to have a good showing to build a fan base for next year. It's going to be fun. It's a challenge for us. I'm sure we'll make it a challenge for them as well."

Defensive midfielder Jeremiah Bass just completed his first year with the Thunder, logging nearly 2000 minutes and scoring a goal. He also works as a mutual funds researcher at Ameriprise Financial.

On the possibility of marking Beckham: "It's going to be fun. I'm sure the initial feeling is going to be, wow, there's David Beckham. But then after that it's just going to playing. Anytime you get to play against a team like this, with so many stars, it's fun. It's just kind of like an adventure."

On how the squad, which is sort of a USL First Division all-star team, is coming together: "A lot of these guys are good players. They're easy to play with. That's how it goes. It's always easy to play with good players. It's been fun. It's been a lot of fun this week. I think everybody's enjoyed themselves. We're looking forward to Sunday."

Posted by Paul Demko at November 9, 2007 2:30 PM | Comments (1)

 

Vikings to Williamson: We Don't Care About Your Dead Grandmother

Filed under: NFL

Many of us have become lighter in the wallet due to an older relative. Usually, the cycle goes "relative gives us a card with a Lincoln in it" to "relative helps us out a bit while we're in school" to "we help pay relative's health care costs as the aging process takes hold." Such is the way of the world, unless there is an ice floe handy.

Well, Troy Williamson just took a hit for his recently-deceased grandmother, being fined a game's pay by the Vikings for missing Sunday's clash to attend her funeral service. That's 25 large that family obligations just cost him. It's perhaps needless to say that this is absurd of the Vikings -- that family should come first, and these obligations always be understood -- but maybe I should say that anyway. A guy can't get a game off for a death in the family during the Holidays? Shades of Scrooge.

As Deadspin points out, this is the same amount -- one game check -- that Fred "Sex Boat" Smoot got tapped in the aftermath of his infamy. This raises the question: if Williamson had hosted his grandmother's funeral aboard a riverboat with illicit activity present, would that have been a two-game check fine, or just one?

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 9, 2007 10:37 AM | Comments (0)

 

Woman Kills Albino Deer: Brother Ali Taken Into Protective Custody

Filed under: Outdoors

During the hunting opener last weekend, Mary Rakotz of Avon shot an extremely rare albino deer. She felled the 6 point buck in Mille Lacs county, and was immediately hailed in local media as "the lady who shot that thing that looks like a photo negative of a real deer."

Albino deer are so uncommon that it's actually illegal to hunt them in at least seven states. If you see one, and you're unfortunate enough not to have a camera, really the only choice is to squeeze some hot lead into it.

According to the WCCO report:

She said it was thrilling to see the rare animal, but 100 times more exciting to be able to actually take it home.

"Take it home," in the sense of "I don't have enough room to mount it in my house so I'm going to try to sell it to Cabela's."

For further comment, we go to Hank Spim:

In all seriousness, I'm not anti-hunting at all. But if you see something that unusual, and your first impulse is to blast it, it might be time to consider your priorities. Especially if the thing is about as threatening as Bunnicula.

Besides, if we're just going to start shooting at pasty white things with cloven hooves, somebody oughtta up the Secret Service detail on Dick Cheney.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 7, 2007 7:35 PM | Comments (1)

 

Dwight Howard-the rich man's Al Jefferson

Filed under: Timberwolves

Let’s start with for starters: Dwight Howard is a very good basketball player. He is young, he is tall, he can jump very high, and, for most of Tuesday’s T-Wolves—Magic game, he made Al Jefferson look like an intimidated, overmatched, borderline-incompetent defender.

Jefferson got his game going late—he wound up with an entirely respectable 25 points on 11/20 shooting, along with 10 boards—but for the first three quarters, it was painful watching him try to defend Howard. At one point in the second quarter, Howard had the ball a good six feet from the basket, and Jefferson decided his best option was to wrap his opponent in a bear hug. Not a good sign, but an entirely emblematic one.

The score reflected this mismatch. The Wolves started the fourth quarter down 88-74. But as Jefferson got in the flow of his offense—hitting his patented running leaners and his turnaround ten-footers—and as others, like Marko Jaric, hit a couple big shots down the stretch, the Wolves used a 14-0 run to close the gap to 92-90 halfway through the final frame.

Fittingly, though, it was the Howard-Jefferson match-up that sealed the game. The Magic were up 104-100 with 1:50 remaining when Howard, deep in the shot clock, missed a point-blank shot in the paint. Jefferson, playing Howard tight, was in position for the rebound, but Howard reached around him—it’s a cliché, but he just seemed to want it more—and put his own miss back up. He missed, but Jefferson fouled him, and Howard nailed both free-throws.

There were some positives. Marko Jaric had easily his best game of the season, with 10 points, 10 dishes, and only one turnover. With Rashad McCants out for the last three quarters with an ankle sprain (and possibly out for a while, unfortunately), Jaric alternated between the point and off guard. Among other things, he got into a nice rhythm with Antoine Walker, setting him up in the block a few times.

The Serbian Stallion still seems a step slow—especially against quick point guards like Carlos Arroyo—and a little out of control. Kind of like he might trip over himself at any moment and all will be lost. But when he’s confident, which he was for most of the night, he gets to the hoop and isn’t afraid to finish strong. This helps his game tremendously, as it frees up passing lanes—for all his faults, Marko is an above-average passer—and gives him the space he needs to take his shots. Marko hit a couple big deep shots down the stretch.

In other news, Bassie Telfair, while not the smooth floor general we all hope he will one day become, took a lot fewer shots—five—than he had in recent games. True, he only made one of them, but he also did a better job of getting the ball inside to Jefferson.

Trillion watch:
We're happy to report that we have witnessed our first trillion of the year. The honor goes to Trevor Ariza. In a way, it's only half a trillion, since he only played 32 seconds. But! That's not how the stat sheets read. In basketball, as in life, we round up. Trevor, here's to you, and to many trillions more.

An honorable mention goes to Chris Richard, the Wolves' rookie making his NBA regular-season debut tonight(!). Checking in midway through the third quarter, Richard notched a personal foul and a blocked shot-and nothing else-in 4:22 of action.

Locker room notes:
If Antoine Walker is fat, we don’t know what that makes us. Dude was topless during the post-game press availability, and we ju