December 2007

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Got Playoffs?

Filed under: NFL

Minnesota Vikings (8-7) at Denver Broncos (6-9), 3:15pm

Pre-game

As Howard Cosell might have said, “It all comes down to this.”

The Vikings shouldn’t be in this spot. Then again, would they even be the Minnesota Vikings if they didn’t toy with our emotions like this? Two games decide this team’s fate. One takes place at Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium, always a difficult place to get a road win. The other, in our nation’s capital where the Redskins, if they beat the Brad Johnson-led Dallas Cowboys, earn the final NFC spot, regardless of what happens in Colorado.

Think helpless. Think wrong. We have to cheer for Brad Johnson again.

Makes one wish the team would have showed up last Sunday and not just mailed it in when facing a team playing with a lot of emotion compounded by the death of one of their players.

The situation is too bad for a lot of reasons. By all accounts the Vikings have over achieved this season. Very few fans would have predicted Minnesota would battle for the post season up until the last game of the regular season. 6-10, or maybe 8-8 was a realistic guess for a squad with a new quarterback, virtually no quality receiving options and a secondary with a shaky track record. But during a lot of games it didn’t matter, great line play combined with a star in the backfield and minimizing mistakes was enough down the stretch and surprised this fan. The whole scenario this afternoon in Denver and DC stinks. A win for the Skins or a loss by the Vikings will sweep all the surprises under the rug.

Of course if Brad Johnson has it in him and the Vikings take care of business...

Such is the life of a Minnesota Vikings fan.

Minnesota 3, Denver 14
Dallas 3, Washington 13

Hafltime

This was a half of missed opportunities. Whether it was Chester Taylor losing control of the ball while reaching for the pylon (worst rule in the NFL by the way) resulting in a touchback, or a Wide open (with a capital W) Troy Williamson dropping a long pass from Tarvaris Jackson that would have resulted in 6 points, the first half of football today continued the very poor play of the Vikings.

Add to this the fact that Washington is looking like their headed to Seattle next week with a strong first half against Dallas, a score every Vikings player is peeking at on the Denver scoreboard, and this could be long second half.

The Vikes look tired, slow and resigned to an extended vacation. If they don’t turn things around in the last thirty minutes, that’s exactly what’s awaiting them.

Minnesota 19, Denver 22 (OT)
Dallas 6, Washington 27
Washington clinches a playoff berth

Post-game

The dream is over. The season was doomed by halftime of the week 16 contest versus Washington. Opportunities are few and far between in the National Football League, and when you’re presented one at home, an inability to capitalize will be quickly snatched up by the next team down the line.

Today’s game was not pretty. Very few games this season were. Adrian Peterson had the opportunity to capture the league’s rushing title but for some reason did not play the 1st quarter and had only 11 carries in the game. (This would be my first question to coach Brad Childress after the game.) Chester Taylor ran well, but cost the team with two fumbles. The passing game was quiet until the fourth quarter and we saw two terrible drops by former #7 overall draft pick Troy Williamson who will hopefully be shown the door after another disappointing season of an uninspiring career.

In true Vikes fashion, hope was this team’s greatest undoing.

One final note (and I might be crazy, but) I’m cautiously excited about Tarvaris Jackson as the Vikings quarterback. At times he has you scratching your head saying, “What the hell is he doing in the NFL?” But other moments, like the 4th quarter of today’s game against the Broncos, he makes sense. He obviously has a tremendous amount of confidence in his ability. A confidence that will sometimes cause him to make a throw into coverage or from his back foot but also is necessary in this league to make the big play.

Jackson is a second year player and certainly needs more time to develop into the quarterback the Vikings need. Perhaps if the Vikings can pick up a quality receiver, his options and game will improve.

Remember, when there’s nothing left to believe in, believe in hope.

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 30, 2007 3:01 PM | Comments (0)

 

Tubby Smith Was Not Born in A Barn

Filed under: Gophers

Gopher’s men’s basketball coach Tubby Smith chose a pretty big stage from which to send his latest unsubtle message to the University. In the last paragraph of a fluffy article in Wednesday’s New York Times preciously entitled “Few Expectations but More Enjoyment,” Smith was quoted this way:

How much longer can you play in the Barn? I know it’s sacrilegious to mention that, but it’s going to be 80 years old next year. How many 80-year-old buildings are still being played in? I’m sure it’s a long-term project, but what do you do in the meantime? We can’t play here forever. For now, we can make this a great environment, which it has been in the past.

(Incidentally, the piece contains a hilarious and depressing peak at the pre-feminist world of coaching marriages. The Times precedes a quote by Smith’s wife, Donna, by saying, “Donna Smith said the change had been good for both of them. [Italics mine] ‘He looks better,’ she said. ‘He’s having more fun. He’s more relaxed, and he loves what he’s doing.’" Sure sounds like they’re “both” really enjoying themselves.)

Arenaball

Now, this is a pretty cavalier thing for the new coach to say. It’s not for nothing that the Barn sports the most significant home court advantage in college basketball. Even when it’s half-full, the place becomes unbelievably loud at the slightest sign of life from the home team and opponents have described the experience of playing there as akin to drowning or suffocation. It’s one of those really beautifully strange, asymmetric athletic facilities that don't really get built anymore, buildings that call to mind grainy images of thousands of men's hats rising in unison. Most of all, it is really an electric place to watch a basketball game.

It is true that Williams Arena is nearly 80 years old, but it has been renovated four times in the last 17 years (including a $2.3 million remodeling as recently as 2003). The place is old, but it is hardly crumbling; its seating capacity is competitive with other Big Ten schools; the sight lines are amazing almost anywhere you sit—why again are we going to tear down? Tubby has hinted before that the he’s expecting a new practice facility, and, from a purely basketball perspective, this is understandable and probably necessary. But for a guy who spends much of his media time boasting of his selfless desire to integrate into his new community—and who has won exactly zero Big Ten games while taking home $2 million a year of the U’s money (which I think is pretty much on par with most professors’ salaries, right?)—the offhand suggestion that the University tear down a state landmark is, I’d say, a touch vulgar.

By Any Means Necessary

But, see, here we’re getting into the big tradeoffs of hiring a top-tier basketball coach like Tubby Smith. As you probably know, in 1998 the Gophers, under coach Clem Haskins were caught out in one of the worst academic scandals ever in college sports. Basically, many of the players, apparently with the coaching staff's blessing and encouragement, begged out of writing their own papers, leaving the drudgery to a matronly tutor. One such paper, turned in by Gophers’ forward Courtney James, who was already in a bit of trouble for hitting his girlfriend with a phone, was memorably titled, “Malcolm X and Martin Luther King: The Same or Different?” Remember, this is ostensibly better than whatever Courtney would’ve written on his own. (The answer is ‘the same,’ right?)

Now, this is all purely speculation on my part, but my thought is that the University knew that in order to save face, it was going to have to go small time for a while: to hire a coach, they knew would run a completely clean program; to recruit players who they knew would at least cover the bases academically; to suck for like ten years. Well, Dan Monson was that coach, and suck they did. But now penance has been paid (although the “funny” thing about all of this is that even when the Gophers have been pretty bad, their team graduation rate has hovered at about 40%) and the Smith hiring seems to show that winning basketball games has again become one of the U’s priorities. Now, Tubby Smith has been a fairly upstanding guy wherever he’s been and I have no doubt that he genuinely has the best interest of his players at heart. But the fact that he, a basketball coach, is now in a position to make multi-million dollar demands on a publicly funded university only shows that the business of winning basketball games grossly compromises the mission of an academic institution. I’m pretty sure I’ll have more to say about this next week.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at December 28, 2007 12:27 AM | Comments (1)

 

Top 10 Memorable Moments of the 2007 Minnesota Vikings

Filed under: NFL

The end of a calendar year is a time for reflection. The regular season ends this Sunday on the road against the Broncos in a gotta have game. But before we're cursing at every thing any shade of purple or rationalizing a possible road to the Super Bowl XLII, let's look back on a particularly inconsistent year(even by the Vikes' standard) for everyone's favorite football franchise.

10. Zygi Wilf rattling his saber threatening the fans with his demands for a new stadium.

Taxpayers hold on to your wallets, the sky is falling and a brand new stadium is the only cure. How long before the dreaded word “relocation” rears its ugly head?

9. Scrooge (almost) came a little early this year.

Initially, wide receiver Troy Williamson was docked a game check for missing the San Diego Chargers game while attending his grandmother’s funeral. The national media caught wind and soon everyone had a bad taste in their mouths. Coach Brad Childress fortunately came to his senses before the situation was completely out of hand and returned the check. Williamson went on to donate the $25,000 to charity.

8. Innocent until proven guilty?

Vikings safety Dwight Smith was busted for allegedly possessing a small amount of marijuana outside of a strip club on a Thursday night. The best part is that he apparently admitted he had “just got done smoking some marijuana.” Indeed.
7. Can you spell choke?
The loss to the Washington Redskins with a spot in the postseason within grasp was disappointing for more than one reason. This was just a terrible game that gave Redskins’ Todd Collins the biggest Christmas gift of all – a sense of legitimacy. The holiday season is the time for generosity, but Todd Collins? Really?
6. Pro Bowl-a-Rama!

An incredible seven Minnesota Vikings named to the 2007 NFC Pro Bowl Team. Not since 2000 has Minnesota sent so many to Honolulu. Four lineman: Kevin and Pat Williams, Steve Hutchinson, and Matt Birk anchor the Vikings representatives. Darren Sharper, Fullback Tony Richardson, and to no one’s surprise, rookie phenom running back Adrian Peterson will all be headed west as well.
5. The improbable five game winning streak propels the Vikes into contention for a wild card berth.
With wins over the Raiders, Giants, Lions, 49ers, and the Bears had Vikings fans everywhere excited about a team actually exceeding expectations. Usually it works the other way around.
4. Ouch, and double ouch.
An embarrassing 34-0 crushing loss to the hated Green Bay Packers. The game wasn’t the only loss in this day. Adrian Peterson left the game after taking a shot to the knee. It was said the collective gasp coming from the west was heard inside of Lambeau.
3. Old relible steadies the ship.

Chester Taylor picking up the team and fans with a 164 yard performance against the Raiders. The team needed a shot in the arm after the previous week’s loss in Green Bay (see above) and a loss at home to the lowly Raiders might have sunk the season for good.
2. Adrian Peterson brushing aside the NFL single game rushing mark.
The San Diego Chargers didn’t have an answer for “All Day” as he rushed for 296 yards and 3 scores on 30 carries. The day AP officially arrives.
1. April 28, 2007.
It’s hard to top #2 but with the 7th pick in the NFL Draft, the Vikings grabbed the rookie of the year and made the team exciting to watch again. Few knew the success Adrian Peterson would have his first year but everyone hopes it continues for many years. Happy New Year Vikes fans!

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 27, 2007 6:52 PM | Comments (0)

 

Real Men Work at Applebee's

Filed under: NFL

I'm a fan of Jeff Pearlman for a lot of reasons -- he's the guy who brought the real John Rocker to public attention, for example, although I'm sure he's sick of being remembered that way. His new column for ESPN skewers that most eyeroll-worthy of sports cliches, the notion of the "real man."

The story is insightful and thought-provoking, although I think it's a bit underdeveloped in its current form and would benefit from a larger treatment in a 3,000-word think piece. How do we define masculinity, and what does that definition say about us? How can the Falcons (correctly) revile Bobby Petrino for his lack of loyalty, but look the other way when Mike Vick tortures and kills animals? When does this positive quality, allegiance to one's mates, descend into evil? And what does that tell us about culturally mandated gender roles?

But that's taking away from the fundamental revelation of the story: Peter Warrick now works at Applebee's.

That's right. A throwaway line from the story informs us that the erstwhile wide receiver, once arrested for shoplifting, is now Vice President and CEO in Charge of Blackened Tilapia Sandwiches.

Actually, according to Wikipedia, he owns the Applebee's, and I don't know which report is right. Either way, there's a big gap between being the fourth pick in the draft and having stoned teenagers inform you that their Maple Butter Blondie is melting, and hence they aren't paying for it.

To be fair, this is a small indignity compared to having one's high school rat-tail shaved by the Florida State seniors, or indeed having said rat-tail in the first place.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at December 27, 2007 10:11 AM | Comments (0)

 

Win this one for Wade Wilson

Filed under: NFL

Washington Redskins at Minnesota Vikings, 7:30pm

Pre-game

Joe Gibbs puts his smug 8-1 record against the Vikes on the line tonight.

It was nearly 20 years ago when the Minnesota Vikings, after improbably defeating the heavily favored New Orleans Saints and San Francisco 49ers, traveled to Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium to play the Washington Redskins in the 1987 NFC Championship game. The game came down to the final play of the game and the dream ended when Wade Wilson’s pass was broken up by the Skins’ Darrell Green near the goal line for a heartbreaking 10-17 loss. Washington went on to defeat the Broncos in Super Bowl XXII.

Tonight’s match-up is a different. The Redskins come into the Metrodome tonight in an attempt to hold on to their slim playoff hopes. Washington will be eliminated tonight with a loss and this improbable Vikings team can clinch the final wild card berth with the victory thanks to a New Orleans loss. The Redskins and Vikings have very similar styles of play. They feature a two-headed running attack in Clinton Portis (1085 yds, 8 TD) and Ladell Betts (285 yds, 1 TD). Washington also prides itself on stopping the run with the 9th ranked rushing defense, allowing 98 yards a game. But as opponents have found out all year, the Minnesota Vikings, via the Williams Wall, force teans to beat them with the pass and usually find a way to move the chains with their record setting backs Adrian Peterson (1278 yds, 12 TD) and Chester Taylor (747 yds, 7 TD). Unfortunately for the Skins if they can’t run that means relying on Todd Collins.

I’d take Tarvaris any day.

Minnesota should be playing like the season is on the line tonight. The Dome should be rocking in the second consecutive prime time game for a team who six weeks ago was left for dead at 3-6. It’s been quite a ride so far. No one wants it to end now.

Finally, I leave you with a commercial that first aired during that game in 1987. Who knew Joe Piscopo was a Skins fan? With fans like that, who needs enemies?

Washington 22, Minnesota 0

Halftime

Ugliest half of football this season, and that’s saying a lot.

It’s clear which players showed up for the game tonight, and not one of them is wearing a purple and gold jersey. You’d swear that a playoff berth wasn’t on the line. Incredible.

Coaching shares a lot of the blame so far. If there’s nine men in the box, then it’s a good idea to pass. And what about the idea of mixing up the run game a bit? Screens, or delays, or ANYTHING other than a very predictable run up the middle. The interception was tough, but the coaching staff has to rally the troops, keep them calm and focused.

It’s downright embarrassing to be in a very crowded sports bar and your team lays an egg. 70 yards and 3 turnovers are not going to get it done.

To top it off, John Madden just uttered, “Doesn’t it seem like the Redskins are playing harder than the Vikings.” Even that senile ol’ bastard knows the score of this game.

Bench Jackson. He’s obviously flustered and isn’t capable of leading us back. But I’m not sure if a Brooks or a Kelly is able to do that either. All I know is we need points and we need them fast. At least we’re only down 22.

I'm bracing myself with booze for this second half.

Washington 32, Minnesota 21

Post-game

We didn’t deserve to clinch the 6th spot tonight. This is one of those games where the score belies the actual contest.

The Vikings gave this one away in the first half. Minnesota is not a team designed for a big second half comeback and it couldn’t be more evident tonight. The playoffs were in reach, but this team chose- yet again- to make it interesting heading into week 17.

I can’t begin to tell you how hard it is to sit and listen to Washington fans cheer (rightly so) the terrible play of the Vikings today.

It’s hard to understand how this team allows a team to rush for 105 yards while only putting up 81 yards themselves. At home no less. Peterson looked tentative. The secondary was porous to say the least and Minnesota made Todd Collins look good (22/29, 254 yds, 2 TD). Where is the team that we watched the last month and a half?

Next week the Vikes travel to Colorado to “see what happens” I guess. If the Skins win at home versus Dallas (in a game that means nothing to the Cowboys) then it doesn’t matter what the Vikings do, win or lose. The season will be over, the five game winning streak will be for not and the questions will swirl about what’s next for a team with some bright spots but areas that need immediate addressing if this team is to compete against the likes of the NFL elite.

This game was nearly as embarrassing as this:

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 23, 2007 7:04 PM | Comments (0)

 

Let's Do This Again Sometime

Filed under: NBA

Mikey Hates It

I have a distinct memory of, in a pickup game at my rural college, getting viciously schooled by a skinny, quiet 12-year-old local kid who probably (and quite rightly) knew he would find easy pickings among us hungover, pizza-fed undergrads. With his gangly frame and summer camp good looks, the Pacers’ Mikey Dunleavy has always reminded me of that kid, with a touch of the pampered east coast Brahmin thrown in for good measure (and taller, and better at basketball). So I felt personally vindicated when Sebastian Telfair shook Dunleavy with one of the filthiest crossovers I’ve ever seen. Bassie set him up with two between-the-leg dribbles followed by a little hesitation/shake with his head and right shoulder. When Telfair then explosively crossed ball over to his left, Dunleavy performed an amazing little partially reclined, one-legged wobble and could only catch a glimpse over his shoulder as Telfair finished at the rim with a pretty left-handed scoop.

Punch Me in The Mouth, Please

Telfair played all night as if redemption (possibly of my wheezy, slow-footed 21-year-old self, or possibly of his struggling team—who can really say?) was on his mind. On the face of things, the Wolves seemed to have little shot of stealing a victory from the hot Pacers. They were coming off of a string of dispiriting losses, they were down to only ten players due to injury and illness, and they had been called possibly the worst team ever by a local paper (not this paper, I assure you). And to top it off, Indiana opened the game with a scorching 20-4 run, mixing easy transition layups with threes by Dunleavy and Troy Murphy. But Telfair turned in probably his best game as a pro in leading the Wolves to a frankly unbelievable come-from-behind 131-118 victory. The Pacers’ strategy was to challenge Telfair outside with traps and shows but he continually beat this pressure with a dazzling array of moves. One media source called his ballhandling “playground”, but that description does an injustice to the poise and efficiency with which he probed the defense. All evening, Telfair challenged the Pacers with his aggressive penetration; when Indiana chose to stay at home on Minnesota’s shooters, he finished confidently at the rim and when they adjusted and began to challenge his drives, Bassie calmly dished the ball to now-wide open teammates like the hot-shooting Antoine Walker. When it was over, Telfair had 27 points (on 11-18), 11 assists and only one turnover. (His only shortcoming is his disturbing habit of tucking his jersey into his compression shorts, even as his uniform shorts hang at mid-crack.) Oh, and he played all 48 minutes. That, friends, is a nasty game.

Afterwards, Wolves coach Randy Wittman emerged from the locker room sporting a warm, fatherly glow. “I couldn’t be more proud of these kids,” proud, he said with moist eyes, of their enormous “heart and determination.” In his next breath, Wittman addressed the media’s recent musings: “These kids, they have feelings too.” I have to say, the way he praised and defended his players was pretty moving. And Wittman was right to be proud. After that disastrous first quarter, the Wolves showed that spectacular, seemingly contradictory convergence of guts and effortless grace that can bloom without warning in the NBA, even in the most seemingly mundane game. On one telling defensive possession, the Pacers’ star Jermaine O’Neal caught a lob pass in the low post and spun to the baseline past the fronting Antoine Walker. The Wolves Al Jefferson was late to help but leapt to contest O’Neal’s shot anyway. O’Neal, sensing that Jefferson had committed himself, pump faked and attempted a scoop shot at the front of the rim. Jefferson then somehow, in midair, managed to extend his very long arm behind him and block O’Neal’s shot. (Jefferson had a tremendous game, by the way. After receiving stitches on a bloody lip, he returned to dominate the third quarter and finish with 29 points and 13 rebounds in 33 minutes. The Pacers had done a good job preventing him from getting good position in the low post and he responded by facing up and attacking the basket with abandon. His combination of spins, hooks and long-armed dunks was pretty inspiring).

On another play, O’Neal (who the Wolves held to eight points, largely because of swarming defensive plays like these) tried to dunk a putback at the front of the rim when the Wolves’ Craig Smith rose behind him and—I have no idea how he managed to get this high in the air—angrily swatted the ball straight down with his forearm. Immediately upon landing, Smith broke into a full sprint and finished with a layup at the other end. The crowd, which nearly came to boos in the first quarter, couldn’t believe how much fun they were having. I beg you not to listen to the snarks who take one look at the Wolves record and write them off as a joke. This is much easier to appreciate in person, but in the incredibly competitive NBA winning and losing depends on almost imperceptibly nuanced differences in execution and decision-making. It’s true that the painfully young, injury riddled Wolves have yet to pick up most of those nuances, but they are capable of playing dynamic, highly, highly skilled basketball for very long stretches of the game.

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side

Sober self-awareness is not thought to be one of the hallmarks of youth and the Wolves’ 21-year-old Gerald Green regularly makes the reasons why rather obvious. As you probably know, Green was last year’s slam-dunk champion—thanks to moves his younger brother devised while playing as Green at NBA Live—and last night showed the outrageous explosiveness that made that victory possible. To borrow a phrase from Truehoop’s Henry Abbott that he used in describing a different player, if there’s a problem that can be solved by jumping, Gerald Green can solve it. Green’s problem is that he seems completely incapable of not physically expressing every emotion that passes through his mind/body. When he is hitting shots (and by that I mean, when he hits a shot), he takes on an aspect of almost caricatured swagger, as if the phrase nothing will every go wrong again, anywhere, ever is continuously running through his mind. But should he make even the smallest mistake, Green’s body slumps and his face screws into a mask of frustration. Cheering him up seems to be a major responsibility of his teammates and coaches. In other words, it is very much an open question whether he has the mental makeup to be a professional athlete for whom failure is an everyday occurrence. Indeed, last night—despite hitting some big threes and skying for several rebounds—when Green committed a single foul he looked despondent. When I asked him about how he felt, he dismissively assured me that his less than three years of limited playing time and zero playoff games had duly seasoned him. “I seen everything,” said the (again) 21-year-old veteran. Everything. There’s something really endearing about that, right?

Posted by Benjamin Polk at December 22, 2007 2:41 PM | Comments (4)

 

Thursday almost liveblog: Wild times

Filed under: NHL

It's Thursday evening, and Thursday is the sickly stepcousin of Friday. Skies are gray. It is the next-shortest day of the year. My attorney calls me up. This, as anyone with an attorney can tell you, is rarely good news.

This is about the poop figures, isn't it? I say. If we're getting sued over that, I'm legally changing my name to Chadus Rigsborik and moving to Slovakia.

"Oh hell no," he intones. "I've got Wild tickets. Good tickets. I know people who know people." In addition to keeping me out of legal trouble, on occasion he plays the role of my muse. I've been in town six weeks, and haven't been to an NHL game. I'm sniffing at the promise of the night, and I catch the hockey-tinged scent of awesome. Let's light this candle.

The Wild's anthem, "State of Hockey," begins to play just as we hit our seats. There are scattered attendees singing along to the inspirational ditty.

"You know," my attorney offers, "that song has precisely the same meter as Edward Lear's poem 'The Owl and the Pussycat.'" After just a few bars of the anthem, I realize instantly that lawyer boy is right. Watch this clip, and you will, too:

Awash in liquid inspiration, my attorney begins to sing along:

'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'

Like I said: muse. But people are staring now, so it's already time to change seats for a while. "This way," he suggests. "I know a bartender that'll get us free beers." You had me at free beers.

Hockey, it is often said, is more exciting in person. This is said for good reason. The Xcel Energy Center doesn't seem to have many bad seats, either. Even the vertigo-inducing upper deck affords ample views, as I found while strolling about and trying to prevent my attorney from singing further nonsense verses.

The Rangers score the game's first goal with less than 10 seconds left on the power play. The Team of 18,000 react like a deflated balloon. In retrospect, the Blue Jackets should have probably skated off the ice then. At the time, though, there is much dismay and gnashing of teeth. This was before the Marian Gaborik show started.

Interlude: Owned! Part One. Brent Burns blasts a Ranger into the boards with a forceful but clean check. Another Ranger skates up to defend his prone companion's honor. Burns offhandedly shoves him to the ice. A third and fourth Ranger skate up and jostle Burns, but clearly want no part of the inevitable loss of dignity.

An artist's rendering (warning: audio) can be found here. [/end interlude]

Even early in the evening, it's clear that Gaborik is moving well. As a casual hockey fan and newbie to the Wild, watching his virtuoso performance makes me feel a bit fortunate and a bit guilty at the same time. It's as if I've had one violin lesson, wander into a bar and find that Yitzhak Perlman is in town for an unannounced jam session with Andrew Bird. You're glad to be there, but you almost wish you could switch places with someone who could truly appreciate the artistry.

As Gaborik notches his third goal, the hats come out on the ice, dozens of them -- baseball caps, santa hats, toques. You name it. I half expect to see a Scrooge McDuck top hat. The JumboTron flashes a message that, in honor of the hat trick, all lids will be 15 percent off for the rest of the evening.

If the Wild just take those thrown hats and re-sell them at discount rates, I bow down before their superior capitalism.

Interlude: Owned! Part Two. Two kids, a boy and a girl, are brought out at intermission for a contest. They must identify recognizable figures such as the Genie from Aladdin, a skunk that is (against all odds) not Pepe LePew, and so forth. The boy goes first and gets two right, narrowly missing a third answer when he says "Nemo" instead of "Gil," who is the angelfish from Finding Nemo.

This is a controversial decision, because L'il Nemo was actually in the picture, though much smaller than Gil. The kid and his mom are visibly nonplussed. If it was my lawyer's kid, there'd have been a riot. He's already thinking of people to sue over this, I'm sure.

The girl has two right until the very end, and we're looking at a tie, until the last image flashes on the screen:

"Oh," the kid says casually. "Demitra."

Summary: one kid gets owned for a Wild prize pack because another kid recognizes Pavol Demitra. [/end interlude]

Just as the Wild appear to have a comfortable lead, defenseman Martin Skoula decides he's Chevy Chase playing Gerald Ford. He falls down while minding the puck less than five feet from goal. There is gnashing of teeth. There is consternation. I consider implementing a "defenseman falls down, do a shot" rule.

I imagine Marian Gaborik muttered something like "It's cool, baby" in Czech to Skoula at that point, because :41 later he had goal No. 4. A couple of minutes later, he had No. 5.

This brings us to the ultimate ownage. My lawyer and I order celebratory slices of pizza, and I ponder a heretofore-unasked question.

Denouement: Owned! Part Three. The name "Marian" (or "Marion") does not typically inspire intimidation. But perhaps it should. I offer the following tale of the tape between two famous men of that appellation:

Marian Gaborik

Proper Name: Marian Gaborik
Shoots: left
Best Performance: Five goals against the Rangers
Almost crippled by: Dominik Hasek

Marion Morrison

Proper Name: John Wayne, Duke Morrison, Marion Robert Morrison, Marion Michael Morrison
Shoots: Indians
Best Performance: The Searchers
Almost crippled by: Bodysurfing, progressive thinking

Full disclosure: I have a cardboard cutout of "Hondo" in my office. Looking at these numbers, though, I have to give the edge to the Czech in nearly every category. Fewer names is more bad-ass, and rocking the "Marian" with pride merits mad respect; time has not been kind to the politics in John Wayne's films, while hockey expertise is always in fashion; and while The Searchers is probably an even more impressive achievement than five goals (five goals hasn't been accomplished in a decade, but there will never be another John Ford masterpiece), on balance, the modern Marian takes it down.

The result are in, and Marian Gaborik is my new favorite Marian. John Wayne: owned on the same night as the Rangers. Not bad for a dreary Thursday.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at December 21, 2007 11:20 AM | Comments (0)

 

Losing Is No Longer the New Winning

Filed under: Timberwolves

Warriors 111, Wolves 98
Season Record: 3-21

The top half of Antoine Walker’s courtside attire Wednesday night consisted of a natty, form-fitting, four-button sports coat over a crisp dress shirt. The effect was sharp and sleek. Perhaps even a hair imposing. This was in grotesque contrast to his pants: Zubaz-like in their bagginess, just different enough a shade of brown from the top to trigger a violent clash, and embodying that intangible sort of terrible that makes one yearn to look away even as ones stares, helpless and horror-struck, into the void as it overtakes one’s soul.

Toine’s outfit was a fitting metaphor for the team’s effort in Wednesday night’s loss to the ever-exciting Golden State Warriors.

A confident, tight first half, coupled with a frightened/frighteningly wretched, flabby display in the second. It was enough to make Randy Wittman very angry in the post-game press conference—the angriest we’ve seen him this season.

"It's not who's getting minutes or who's getting touches," he fumed. "I wish it was."

The man has a point. The numbers were there for the Wolves Wednesday night. Judging by them, Al Jefferson had an above-average game (24 points on 17 shots, along with 14 boards). Rashad McCants had a great game (23 points on 16 shots, six assists, three steals, and only one turnover). Sebastian Telfair had an almost-decent game (eight assists, albeit with five turnovers). And Gerald Green, second off the bench because of a flued-out Marko Jaric, had his most productive outing of the season, nailing four treys off the bench, grabbing eight boards, and managing to convey his range of emotions to the scrum of reporters after the game (“I was kind of disappointed. But kind of proud of myself, too.”)

But starting the third quarter with the Wolves up 62-54, the Warriors came out swinging, knocking down pull-up jumpers. And the Wolves reeled, breaking down on defense and allowing easy layups.

"We walked off with our heads down after three minutes," Wittman said of his players' response to the timeout he called early in the third quarter with the lead at three points. And in the ensuing huddle: "I couldn't see any of their eyes and I'm sitting right in front of them."

Coming out of the timeout, the Warriors intensified and extended their run, capitalizing on five straight T-Wolves turnovers(!) to score nine straight points. Those five turnovers were committed by five different players, so it's not easy to pick out any individual's failing.

But with the Wolves down by six points halfway through the third quarter, this much was clear: The players knew they were going to lose the game, and so did the alleged 13,000-plus in the stands.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at December 20, 2007 12:05 PM | Comments (0)

 

Fuzzy math

Filed under: Timberwolves

Pi Press sports gossip Charley "Shooter" Walters has this nugget in today's column:

The Timberwolves, 3-21 this season after a 111-98 loss to Golden State on Wednesday, are on pace to become the NBA's all-time worst team. That 61-year distinction currently belongs to the Philadelphia 76ers, who finished 9-73 in the 1972-73 season.

Which is somewhat interesting, but not quite accurate. Elementary math will tell you that the squad currently has a winning percentage of 12.5 percent. Over an entire 82-game season this works out to 10 victories--one better than the storied 1972-73 76ers! Show the team some respect Shooter.

Posted by Paul Demko at December 20, 2007 10:29 AM | Comments (2)

 

Prime-time for the streaking purple and gold

Filed under: NFL

Chicago Bears (5-8) at Minnesota Vikings (7-6), Monday night -7:30pm

Pre-game

Dare I say, “Are you ready for some football?”

The winter just doesn’t seem so bad when the Vikings are above .500 come the ides of December. The air doesn’t have quite the bite when your team is on a 4 game winning streak, play 2 of their last 3 games at home, and winning the remaining games guarantees a playoff spot for the purple. Weeks 15, 16, and 17 are tailor-made for two types of NFL teams. First they are for the winning teams, to establish positioning while gathering momentum; to brush the weaker teams aside to the links in Florida and Arizona. These weeks are also for the spoiler teams. Those teams with nothing to lose so they suit up and get excited for the only thing left for them to hang their hat on.

I only include the above for the reverse jinx.

Things in the NFC playoff race tightened up a lot between Thursday and yesterday. Up top, Dallas lost and is clinching to the tiebreaker they hold over Green Bay for home field advantage throughout the post season. In the wild card race, the New York Giants continue to look like the worst 9-5 team you’d every want to root for. And while Arizona dropped a game, both New Orleans and Washington at 7-7 are very much alive and keeping the pressure on Minnesota.

Tonight’s game is an opportunity for the Vikings to prove to the rest of the league a number of things. One, that they are going to earn a wild card spot. Two, that whether Adrian Peterson or Chester Taylor runs the ball, you must pay attention to Minnesota’s running attack. Three, that focusing on the Vikes’ running game isn’t going to be enough to beat this team. Quarterback Tarvaris Jackson is coming into his own and has this team believing in him. Finally, it is a chance for the Minnesota Vikings to show the rest of the NFC that this squad is a winner and you don’t want to face them come January unless you’re itching to play some golf.

Post-Game

Chicago 13, Minnesota 20 Final

Only 78 yards today but 2 touchdowns for All Day.

It was all about the purple pants. For the first time since the 1964 season when the Detroit Lions brought only their whites to a game*, the Vikes went all purple for a game. It’s a good look, especially on the likes of Pat Williams.

The Vikings prevailed in this game tonight either because their defense held the Bears to just 209 total yards on offense, a miniscule 32 on the ground; or because Kyle Orton and the Bears offense are hard to look at. Literally. It’s not like the Vikings didn’t provide da Bears with da opportunity for the win with 4 turnovers leading to 10 points in the first half.

Tarvaris Jackson wore his inexperience on his sleeve tonight making multiple poor decisions while under constant pressure from the Chicago defense specifically Brian Urlacher who had a monster game. This week Brad Childress and the coaching staff must address the problems poor QB play leads to, and stress the importance to Jackson of taking the sack when necessary or throwing the ball away if no receiver is open. Jackson made things way too interesting tonight.

Like Ted Knight and Jm J. Bullock, this game was a little Too Close for Comfort.

The 8-6 Vikings will now host the Washington Redskins next Sunday night, the second of their back-to-back prime-time contests in the game of the season. The Skins are on the outside looking in and would like nothing more than to snap the Vikings 5 game winning streak and pull even with Minnesota for the last remaining playoff spot.

*Fact kindly provided by the ever-wise Ryan Walters.

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 17, 2007 6:15 PM | Comments (0)

 

TV on the Radio

Filed under: NFL

Why is the radio call four seconds ahead of the TV for Vikings games?

A reader complains that the radio call for Vikings games is four seconds faster than the TV. Anybody else having this problem?

Like many Viking fans I like to listen to the Vikes on the radio while watching the game. The national announcers aren't nearly as much fun. Of late, however, there is about a four second lapse between the game and the radio, with the radio being the faster. Unfortunately this wrecks the play since you know what will happen before it does. Have any other people expressed concern about this? Can it be remedied? Thanks.

Posted by Kevin Hoffman at December 14, 2007 4:10 PM | Comments (1)

 

Dakota...South Dakota

Filed under: Gophers

First things first. South Dakota State has totally righteous uniforms. They’re wrestling-mat blue and made of that amazing, fireproof double-knit rayon I remember so vividly from Middle School basketball games. Best of all, their only ornamentation is the word ‘State’ written in block letters across the chest. They look like what you might find in a commercial for car insurance or adult diapers when the happy couple is really enjoying each other at a “college basketball game” (now that he has his life back).

Also: the U of M dance team took the floor at halftime to Bjork’s percussion-less, sonically dense, totally un-danceable jam, “Joga”. If you’re not familiar with the song, check it out online and then picture the dance team perkily prancing out to half-court in their spangled, rhythmic gymnastics-y costumes and then very, very slowly…sort of solemnly moving in some kind of abstract relationship to the music. Then picture lots of maroon and gold-clad Gopher fans—like the middle-aged guy behind me who yelled along with all of the student section chants, even the ones where they made fun of the kids who fouled out—looking confused.

This whole digression here will be important later, when I explain how the Gophers nearly lost to a team called the Jackrabbits who are 3-6 and recently lost by 30 to Oral Roberts. No it won’t.

Oh, Sweet Belief

Neither Tubby Smith nor SDSU coach Scott Nagy expressed the slightest bit of surprise at the Gophers’ 78-72 close call against the Jackrabbits, trotting out those priceless old “any given team on any given night” and “South Dakota State is a good basketball team” nuggets. Nagy, in particular, acted as if he expected his team to beat the heavily favored Gophers, who had, just the week before, completely dismantled North Dakota State, SDSU’s superior northern rival. Despite the closeness of the game—the Gophers were struggling to cling to a two point lead with just three minutes left—this was manifestly ridiculous. SDSU was un-athletic and small (no Jackrabbit over 6’8” saw playing time); both of their regular point guards were freshmen; they had difficulty executing their offense most of the night, even when they were scoring. The Gophers were much, much bigger, quicker and more talented. They shot 56.2% for the game, which will, I’m fairly sure, be a season high. And yet. Really, only two ugly throwaways by SDSU in the last 1:30 and two very large, late blocks by Damian Johnson (who, Dan Coleman’s 24 points notwithstanding, was probably the U’s best player, recording ten points, four blocks and six rebounds in only 19 minutes) prevented something pretty awful/amazing.

Couple all of these things with the fact that SDSU managed to score 72 points and you start get the impression that something went seriously wrong for the Gophers, defensively. Especially in the first half, Minnesota applied serious pressure both with their full-court press and half-court trap. SDSU looked totally overmatched against this pressure and had difficulty just running their offense and even getting the ball across half-court. Still, even at their most frantic, the Jacks rarely actually turned the ball over and, more amazingly, just kept finding open shooters late in the shot clock. Smith mentioned players “going for shot fakes, out of position, [making] mental mistakes on D,” and all of that stuff was true (popping into the air on pump-fakes by much smaller players was certainly a common theme.) The Gophers played aggressive defense, but repeatedly failed to rotate to open shooters after the ball was passed out of the pressure. They tried their trademark trapping man-to-man, as well as 2-3 and 1-3-1 zones, and no matter how frazzled SDSU seemed, nothing quite worked. The Jackrabbits just kept getting open looks.

Rebounding was an even more glaring problem. The Jackrabbits out-boarded the Gophers by a ridiculous 41-26 margin. Recall, again, that the Gophers had a height advantage at every position. Even more ridiculous, SDSU collected 19 offensive rebounds, while shooting 27-61 for the game. I have never been good at math but I think that means they rebounded more than half of their own misses. Not so good, Gophs. Its true that, especially in the second half when an upset seemed very possible, SDSU was playing incredibly hard and got a huge boost from the bench play of long armed 6’8” senior Mohammed Berte who played with serious intensity in collecting 11 boards. But if the Gophers can’t take the trouble to box out or at least try to match the rebounding effort of their opponent (in a home game, no less) they’re going to be in trouble all season.

Senior Skip Day

Dan Coleman has nicely broken out of an early season shooting slump and has begun to consistently lead the team in scoring, but the play of the Gophers’ other senior leaders, guard Lawrence McKenzie and center Spencer Tollackson, has been another story. Tollackson seems to be a serious liability when it comes to rebounding. He managed only three boards against CSU and just two against SDSU, really low numbers for a senior and the biggest player on the floor, even if he is, shall we say, not much of a leaper (hey, me neither but, y’know, I played hockey). The Gophers think they can live with his athletic shortcomings since he is a skilled offensive player. But he’s been pretty unassertive on that end as well. Tollackson has been shooting the ball efficiently, but he took only five shots (making four) in 25 minutes on Wednesday and eight shots in 30 minutes in the victory over Colorado State. Against SDSU he was effective when he actually got the ball but struggled to get position in the low post, even against a smaller opponent (which also likely contributes to his rebounding problem).

McKenzie, too, has been absent lately. He made only one of his five shots against Colorado St., and was only 2-6 on Wednesday (although he did collect six assists.) He was especially lacking in comparison with his counterpart, Jackrabbits guard Garrett Callahan, who looks like a skinny tenth grader but absolutely murdered the Gophers with 28 points on 11-18 shooting. While Callahan played with some real passion, digging in on defense and manically attacking the Gophers nearly every time he touched the ball, McKenzie just looked tentative. The Gophers have been lucky to get good minutes from their young players, but if they want to do anything this year, they’ll need Tollackson and McKenzie to be much more aggressive.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at December 13, 2007 9:04 PM | Comments (0)

 

Poop Goes The Sports Figure

Filed under: Frivolous

Catalonia has a rich culture, distinct from the rest of Spain. It has bestowed upon visitors the restful beaches of Barcelona, delectable mar i muntanya ('sea and mountain') cuisine and, of course, tiny statues of little pooping people placed in nativity scenes at Christmas.

Confused? Then read about the caganer, a traditional statue that shows a peasant, ahem, returning food to the earth in the most time-honored way possible. They've been around for hundreds of years, and only recently has pop culture made an incursion into caganer construction.

From the Wikipedia entry: "The Catalans have modified this tradition somewhat since the 1940s. In addition to the traditional caganer design, you can easily find other characters assuming the caganer position, such as nuns, devils, Santa Claus, celebrities, athletes, historical figures, politicians, Spanish royalty, and other famous people past and present, including Pope John Paul II, Salvador Dalí, prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, Princess Letizia and even Osama bin Laden."

Sadly, I couldn't find you a picture of the caganer Osama bin Poopin (although you can buy the President and the Pope).

Yet I thought I heard someone say "athletes" ... so I sought out what was available, and found one blogger's jaw-dropping if meager collection of caganers here. What leaps out at you about me about these pictures -- other than the obvious "Where is Najeh Davenport?" -- is the color of the discharge in question.

Remember in Kurt Vonnegut's short story "Welcome to the Monkey House," where all the males urinated blue because of genital-numbing pills they were forced to pop? It seems these statues are taking related medication, or the caganer's diet is rich in beta carotene. That scat is colored like Bobby Kielty's hair.

Furthermore, the caganer canon sadly appears to not include many athletes we'd recognize in the U.S. Spanish forward Pau Gasol, who plays for the Memphis Grizzlies, and Ronaldinho are basically it.

Miraculously, the available statues don't include any athletes from the Twin Cities. In honor of the upcoming holiday season, I set out to rectify this oversight. Pictures after the jump.

JOE MAUER
Leading off: Joe Mauer. Forget about bobbleheads and replica jerseys. Hand these out at the ol' ballyard, and you'll have yourselves a promotion. While living overseas, one of my favorite things to do was try to explain to non-native English speakers that calling something "shit" was bad, but calling something "the shit" was good. Twins marketing people, your copy writes itself for this one. Stencil it on the front of the caganer: "Joe Mauer is the shit."

KEVIN MCHALE
Garbage In, Garbage Out. You eat the Joe Smith contract, you excrete a bare draft cupboard. Eat crow and trade Kevin Garnett, excrete a team that has two wins so far this season. At least he's contributed to what might be the Celtics' next championship team. No, wait, that's not good -- that's another reason we're affixing his image to the pooper. Look at that face, too: McHale is perhaps our most enthused caganer.

RASHAD MCCANTS
Ever heard the expression "built like a brick shithouse"? McCants' penchant for shooting first and asking questions later may soon have him in the doghouse, though comparatively few of his shots are bricks. One of the few players on the Wolves capable of igniting an offense, the North Carolina product's teammates have historically been heard grumbling about play perceived as selfish. It's entirely possible, though, that McCants doesn't give a shit.

PAT WILLIAMS
Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams is a large, large man. More coarse writers would imply that this means he could clog a commode the way he clogs the interior line against the run. But we're more genteel, more classy than that, so we'll take a different route. Put this statue in your nativity scene, and we guarantee no demonic invaders will try to sully the Baby Jesus. Big Pat will put a sack on Satan, then ... well, poop on him, I guess. (Genteel and classy lasts one sentence or so in a post about dookie.)

NORMAN GREEN
Norm Green isn't a local figure anymore. But next fall will mark the 15th anniversary of the last big metaphorical dump he took on Twin Cities sports fans by moving the North Stars. Eh, who needs them? We've got the Wild, and Norm now has his own personal shit statue.


DEREK BOOGAARD
On the topic of the Wild: the world needs a Derek Boogaard caganer. I should not have to explain this.

Am I worried that the mountainous hockey enforcer will take exception to this portrayal? That the six-foot, seven-inch, 250 pound Boogeyman will object to my having placed his likeness atop a defecating statue? Sure, but I live by this Catalan pre-meal proverb: "menja bé, caga fort i no tinguis por a la mort!" (Eat well, shit strong and don't be afraid of death!).

Carve that on my tombstone. Or at least on my own personal caganer.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at December 12, 2007 7:00 AM | Comments (1)

 

Sherk stripped of belt, but promised another title shot

Filed under: MMA

Local UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk has been stripped of his title after testing positive for a banned substance. Following his successful July title defense against Hermes Franca, Sherk tested positive for Nandrolone, according to the California State Athletic Commission. Joe Stevenson and BJ Penn will fight in January for the vacated belt.

But the news wasn't all bad for Sherk. Following an appeal, his ban from fighting was reduced to six months, meaning he'll be eligible to return to the ring next month. And UFC boss Dana White defended his conduct. “I have nothing but respect for Sean Sherk and I believe he’s been honest throughout this whole process,” White said. “But BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will be fighting for the lightweight title at UFC 80 on January 19th and Sean Sherk will fight the winner for the title.”

Posted by Paul Demko at December 11, 2007 1:02 PM | Comments (1)

 

Champions League: Liverpool faces elimination

Filed under: Soccer

The group stage of the UEFA Champions League concludes over the next two days. There should be several crackerjack matches to watch.

Liverpool fans have justified their squad's lousy form in the Champions League by insisting that Rafa Benitez's team has been focused on winning the EPL title. But after Saturday's drubbing by Reading, they're now sitting seven points behind Arsenal, and that excuse is sounding rather silly. Liverpool has advanced to the final two of the the last three years, but they'll need to win on the road against Marseille just to guarantee a spot in the knockout stage (ESPN2, 1:30 CST).

In today's late game, Real Madrid will host Lazio (ESPN Classic, 4 CST). The Spanish league leaders need a draw to book a place in the next round. They survived a dust-up with Athletic Bilbao on Saturday, and look to be in fine form. Ruud van Nistlerooy has scored a remarkable 53 goals in 68 Champions League matches.

Tomorrow Lyon visit Rangers with a spot in the knockout stage on the line (ESPN2, 1:30 CST). The French side started miserably, losing their first two matches by a combined score of 6-0. But they've rallied to take seven points from their last three matches. Lyon need the away win to stay alive. Unfortunately American Damarcus Beasley won't suit up for Rangers for a long, long time after blowing out his knee last month.

The last match being televised in the U.S., Barcelona v. Stuttgart (ESPN Classic, 4 CST), is of zero consequence. The Spanish club has already won the group, while Stuttgart has been eliminated.

Posted by Paul Demko at December 11, 2007 12:44 PM | Comments (2)

 

The "poke check" heard 'round the ice

Filed under: NHL

Hockey fan? Checked out TV sports highlights lately? Then you've probably seen Detroit goalie Dominik Hasek's gulp-inducing play from a few days ago, which upended the Wild's Marian Gaborik. If you haven't seen it, you want to. And if you wouldn't mind, indulge me in the following thought experiment.

First, watch this:

Now, answer the following questions in your mind. Is this a clean play? How about if Gaborik doesn't end up seriously injured? Does that affect your thinking? What if I tell you that it was a 5-0 game at the point this breakaway happened?

I hope the video commentary doesn't sway your answers, because I personally think their statements are fairly outrageous. The homers (who are employed by the Red Wings) keep harping on Gaborik having his head down, but Hasek just body-checks the Wild forward into the air. It's an extremely dangerous play even if the game's outcome was still in doubt. The fact this it wasn't makes me think the two minute minor penality for tripping assessed to Hasek was too lenient.

The Wild and the Strib agree. Hasek does not. MLive.com's Red Wings blog just reports both sides.

Fortunately, Gaborik did an acrobatic flip and escaped without serious injury. Still a cheap shot.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at December 10, 2007 3:49 PM | Comments (6)

 

Encouraging!

Filed under: Timberwolves

Hawks 90, Wolves 89
Wolves 100, Suns 93
Season record: 2-15

In case anybody asks, the Wolves victory against the Suns on Friday night was foretold by God. The revelation lay in the order of the Wolves’ victories and defeats thus far this season: Five losses. A win. Five losses. A win. Five losses. And, against the red-hot but dog-tired Phoenix Suns: A well-deserved win.

Before we get to the W against the now 16-5 Suns, we should note that it followed a plucky, hard-luck effort at Atlanta. In that game, the Wolves were down by 19 in the first, clawed their way back, and in the last 20 seconds executed two inbounds passes to Jaric for layups, each putting the team up by a point, but each countered by the Hawks, including the last-gasp, heartbreaking, what-can-you-do jumper by Joe Johnson to ice the game 90-89 as time expired.

The most important storyline out of that game—even more than Jaric’s near-triumphant return after two games out with a sore ankle (which, not incidentally, were the two most miserable and lackadaisical losses of the season, against the Bobcats and the Lakers)—was the coming out party of Corey Brewer.

It’s a little weird to talk about a 3-15 shooting performance as a breakout game, but so it was. Brewer was everywhere on defense, disrupting passing lanes with those long, skinny arms, picking up four steals, tallying a blocked shot, and hauling in a shocking 18 boards. Rounding out his line, Brewer had five assists with nary a turnover. The latter is truly remarkable, given that he looked as if he was going to trip over himself several times while running the break after a steal. In each case, though, he managed to stay balanced, although he blew a couple layups failing to get himself fully under control before attempting to finish.

Brewer reminds us a little of Marcus Camby. Not in terms of size or his position—Camby’s got a good three or four inches on Brewer, plays center, and is one of the most explosive shot-blockers in the game. But in terms of energy, which is largely to say disruptiveness.

In the last two games, in pretty much every offensive set the other team ran with Brewer on the floor, it felt like he might do something to completely throw them out of their rhythm. Although Brewer had no steals against the Suns, he pulled down 11 rebounds, and was +9 on the night, second only to Jefferson’s +13.

At one point in the second quarter, Brewer even fought Jefferson for a defensive rebound (which AJ hauled in—one of his 20 boards in the game). After the game, Jefferson was asked about Brewer’s impact on the glass and how that changes things. “He’s taking all my boards,” Jefferson said, tongue-in-cheek.

Clearly, the growth Brewer has shown the last two times out bodes well for his future, if not for the playing time of Ryan Gomes (or Gerald Green).

In one final Camby parallel, both he and Brewer have broke-ass jump shots. Just, ouch.

Jefferson's win
Al Jefferson won the game for the Wolves against the Suns. He took the ball strong to the hole, scored 32 points on 13-26 from the field, and hauled in 20 boards. His little jump hook, his spin move. These are enjoyable things to watch. And his tentativeness in the previous couple games, his willingness to settle for 15- and 20-foot jumpshots, was largely missing. Let's hope it stays that way.

Future Trends
We’ve looked into our crystal ball, and it has told us the future of Rashad McCants. It is as a Quincy Lewis-style sixth-man, providing instant offense off the bench. Whether he’s filling this role in two years for an NBA contender or for Efes Pilsen Istanbul will be determined as much by his willingness to pass the ball before exhausting all his options off the dribble as by his ability to hit outside shots with some consistency.

The Phoenix game was a microcosm of the point-counterpoint for McCants’ future.

First, the point: In the third quarter, just after McCants had checked back into the game, Telfair had the ball on the perimeter. Jefferson, with his back to the basket and with good inside position, was calling for it. From the bench at the opposite end of the court, a street-clothed Antoine Walker bellowed “GIVE HIM THE BALL!!!” Instead, Telfair swung the ball around the perimeter to Gomes who quickly passed it to McCants, also beyond the three-point line. Unlike the others, Shaddy actually passed the ball to Jefferson, who promptly spun to the basket, was fouled, and hit both his foul shots. Shortly thereafter, with the Wolves having relinquished the lead and with the game tied and seeming ready to slip away, Shaddy hit back-to-back threes, putting the team up 85-80. They led the rest of the way.

Now, the counterpoint:

Shaddy missed all four of his shots in the first half, including two on a single possession, in which he missed a bad jumpshot, got the ball back after Gomes got the board, then shot again and missed. He was taken out of the game shortly thereafter.

McCants still has an ugly habit of dribbling the ball, staring down his defender, only then taking an ill-advised shot or, when he submits to the knowledge that there are no good scoring options for him, finally passing the ball to a teammate, in the process sapping the offense of any kind of flow.

He's coming off the bench now, and that makes a lot of sense to us.

Statistical anomaly? You tell us.
Craig Smith had what amounts to a very solid game against Phoenix. He was 7/11 with 16 points, along with eight boards and only one turnover in 36+ minutes. Yet he was –8 for the game, meaning the 11+ minutes he was on the bench, the Wolves were +17.

Locker Room Notes
Shawn Marion has a fantastic belt buckle. It’s big, it’s probably silver, and it sports a stylized skyline of the Windy City. Above the buildings, it reads “Chicago.” Below it: "S. Marion." It’s sort of urban cowboy, which is kind of how we’ve always pictured Shawn Marion in his daily, non-basketball life.

Steve Nash, by contrast, favors cardigans, and wears a beaded wood bracelet that he slips on his left wrist after games.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at December 10, 2007 2:17 AM | Comments (0)

 

A gold rush towards the postseason?

Filed under: NFL

Minnesota at San Francisco, 3:05pm

Pre-game

NFC Standings

Division Leaders
Dallas 11-1
Green Bay 10-2
Tampa Bay 8-4
Seattle 8-4

Wild Card Race
NY Giants 8-4
Minnesota 6-6
Detroit 6-6
Arizona 6-6

The Vikings have games remaining against San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, and Denver (5-7).

The Rest
Washington 6-7*
Carolina 5-7
New Orleans 5-7
Philadelphia 5-7
Chicago 5-8*
San Francisco 3-9
St. Louis 3-9
Atlanta 3-9
*game played 12/6

The Minnesota Vikings have entered the phase of the season when teams are personified. Some teams “control their own destiny,” others “need some help,” still others are “just playing for pride.” Every team wants to be in the first category and with a win today against the lowly San Francisco 49ers, the Vikings can put themselves in a very agreeable position with 3 games left against teams with a combined 16-22 record. Minnesota travels west with the leading rushing attack in the league with rookie Adrian Peterson and dependable Chester Taylor needing only 179 yards to set the team record for most yards by a tandem. Robert Smith and Daunte Culpepper hold the record with 1,991 yards set by the 2000 Vikings.

Any record set that removes the name Culpepper from the top is twice as sweet.

In addition to the #1 rushing offense, the Vikings combine that with the #1 defense against the run. That’s a winning combination in the NFL. Minnesota’s three game winning streak is evidence of that. If the Vikes can continue to pressure the opposing quarterback - this week the awe-inspiring former Superbowl champ Trent Dilfer - and if the surging Tarvaris Jackson can continue to minimize mistakes and make one or two big plays down the field, the VIkes might find themselves thinking about their destiny.

Halftime

Minnesota 27, San Francisco 0

Big Kevin Williams sets the tone.

On April 26, 2003 the Vikings draft team coveted a defensive lineman from Oklahoma State and with the 5th pick in the draft they had a good chance in getting their guy. The only thing that stood in their way was the penny-pinching Minnesota owner Uncle Red McCombs. The draft unfolded with the Vikes desperately looking for a partner to trade the pick so Red wouldn’t have to shell out as many Benjamins. The 5th pick came and went with no trade and the Vikings were lucky that Kevin Williams was still available in the number seven spot.

Today’s Vikings would be a much different team if Kevin Williams weren’t anchoring the defense. Whether plugging up the middle with fellow run stopper Pat Williams, or commanding constant double teams from opponents, Kevin Williams is big reason the Vikings are shutting out the 49ers today and smelling blood in the NFC.

Big Kevin Williams’ presence can also be felt on the scoreboard. Just 7 seconds into today’s game Kevin batted a ball into his hands and ran the interception back 18 yards for the early lead and added to the tally of the #1 scoring defense in the NFL.

On the other side of the ball, Tarvaris Jackson continues his sparkling play going 10 of 16 for 115 yards and 1 touchdown and more importantly 0 turnovers. Chester Taylor, capitalizing on all the focus on Adrian Peterson, has rushed for 99 yards including his longest scoring run of the year.

The Vikes look very much like a playoff team with their stellar play on the road this afternoon. And with Detroit losing earlier in the day to Dallas and Arizona down big in Seattle, Minnesota is staking their claim in gold country today.

Post-game

Minnesota 27, San Francisco 7

No one will remember the second half of this game for its spectacular offensive fireworks. The way Minnesota played in the first half, no show was necessary. This game was over at the half. The point spread is hard to figure given that Adrian Peterson was held to a mere 3 yards on 14 carries. But any good team has other options. Chester Taylor filled in nicely with 101 yards on only 8 carries and Tarvaris scanned the field completing passes to 7 different receivers and threw no interceptions and was sacked zero times. The Vikings’ defense was the star of this game beginning with K. Williams’ interception and score on the second play from scrimmage. Forcing five turnovers, including a record 2 interceptions by defensive tackles, left little chance of a 49ers’ upset today. Now the Vikings head back home to face a familiar NFC north opponent, the Chicago Bears, on Monday Night Football. Minnesota stands alone now in the 6th and final NFC playoff spot with loses today by Detroit and Arizona. Four wins in a row has this team in position to be the team no one will want to face come January.

Due to the lack of action in the second half of this game, I was able to dig up for you the 3 worst video moments in San Francisco 49er history. Enjoy.

#3 Billy Joel would be proud. They are the 49ers and they are always exciting.

#2 Remember Up with People? I can’t believe they were allowed to perform during the half at four Superbowls.This is their performance during Superbowl 16 between the 49ers and the Bengals.

#1 Rap videos with football players are pure gold. Every team should be required to produce one. I can't believe Joe Montana didn't want to be part of this.

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 9, 2007 2:45 PM | Comments (1)

 

A Complete Lack of Effort

Lakers 116, Timberwolves 95
Season Record: 2-14

Here’s the thing: We understand that the Timberwolves, especially without Randy Foye, Theo Ratliff, and now Marko Jaric, who’s sidelined with a bum ankle, are operating with a significant talent deficit relative to pretty much every team they play. We don’t expect them to win. We don’t even expect them to be particularly competitive for the first three quarters (although it’s nice when they are). But we do expect them to try.

And against the Lakers on Tuesday, it was pretty plain that many of the players on the Wolves phoned in the game. It was almost as if Kobe Bryant, doing his playing-in-slow-motion-at-full-speed thing, came out in the first quarter and cast a spell over the home team. Bryant was awesome in the first quarter, by the way, scoring 13 points on six shots, hitting threes, going glass, and being, no matter what you think of his erstwhile sponsorships (oh wait. that was actually awesome.), or his alleged anal rape of a teenage hotel worker (um, less so), a precious gift to basketball fans everywhere.

But let’s talk Timberwolves.

Rashad McCants’ petulance is getting old. Like, for instance, midway through the second quarter, when Craig Smith took the ball strong to the hole, got fouled, and McCants stood behind the three-point line, looking annoyed and mimicking catching a pass from Smith and hoisting a three.

The thing about scorers is this: They need to score. But it goes both ways. Because when they miss such a high percentage of their shots (McCants was 5-12 last night, but three of those baskets came in garbage time late in the fourth quarter), they're not really scorers anymore. They're dudes that wind up included in trades to other subpar teams desperately in search of upside. All we're really saying is this: When you have a teammate with the ball and position close to the basket, please don’t act annoyed when he doesn’t pass it to you.

But the problems were far from limited to McCants. Al Jefferson had a slow start to the game, missing a few point-blankers en route to a 1-6 first quarter. He responded by relying on his mid-range jumpshot, which was pretty much always contested, for much of the rest of the game. Now don’t get us wrong. Jefferson has a nice jumper. Even with a man in his face, it’s still a higher-percentage shot than McCants firing away from deep. But Al needs to take his man to the hole. He has such a nice spin move, such a nice pump fake, and such great footwork that it's really disheartening to see him settling for shooting over dudes 12 feet from the basket with a hand in his face.

Trumping all this, though, was the team's sad display of defense. There was really no one interested in playing it. And that, more than anything, is what made this game so frustrating to watch.

Posted by Jonathan Kaminsky at December 5, 2007 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

 

Won't anyone think of the owners?

Filed under: NFL

Anybody have an extra $700 million lying around? If so, contact Zygi Wilf and the NFL at once.

Post haste.

Picture courtesy of the Vikings

In these days of budget shortfalls, failing bridges, and strapped public schools, Wilf would rather see the Minnesota state legislature get down to the real business at hand: building his team a nearly one billion dollar downtown stadium with all the bells and whistles. In Zygi’s defense, he is going to pony up $250 million of the cost and maybe “develop” the area around the site with much needed condominiums. “Hurry, only 4 units remain!!!” “If you lived here, you’d be tailgating already.”

I can hardly wait.

According to an AP story published this morning, NFL officials had a meeting with some state leaders Monday to hopefully get the ball rolling on the stadium issue. The reception turned out to be as chilly as the weather outside and won’t likely hit the floor in the next calendar year. To this, Zygi reminded everyone that time is not on our side, “Construction costs are rising significantly each year that we delay and there is an urgency to reach a solution.”

He’s just trying to save us some money people.

Look, I’m all for a new stadium. The Metrodome is old. The Twins and Gophers are already leaving, and the idea of watching the Vikes outside on either a warm autumn afternoon or even a sunny, brisk December day is appealing. I just don’t agree with Minnesota taxpayers, property owners, public school students/teachers or even bridge users picking up three-fourths of the tab for a millionaire who stands to increase his fortune the day the new stadium opens its doors.

Posted by Eric Refsland at December 5, 2007 11:57 AM | Comments (1)

 

We're Hockeytown, USA

Filed under: NHL

According to Sports Illustrated, that is. Minneapolis-St.Paul has supplanted Detroit as the top puck-friendly destination in America.

Michael Farber's pithy summary of why MSP is the new No. 1 after the jump.

"The Wild has sold every ticket to every game since it entered the NHL as an expansion team in 2000, but it has never tried to bigfoot hockey in a city that was home to America's iconic coach, Herb Brooks; the No. 2 U.S.-born career NHL scorer, South St. Paul's Phil Housley; the only cartoonist to draw a Zamboni-driving bird, Charles Schulz; and the leading state high school tournament in the nation. This is the unwritten hockey schedule in the Twin Cities: boys' hockey Tuesday night, girls' hockey Thursday night, the University of Minnesota Friday and Saturday nights. Boys and girls also play on Saturday afternoon. It is no coincidence that the Wild often plays on Wednesday and Sunday. This is a franchise respectful of the game, aware of its niche and almost obsequious in its treatment of fans. Minnesota high school hockey jerseys ring the outer concourse of the arena. Pictures of season-ticket holders appear on game tickets. The Wild even employs a full-time hockey curator to protect and promote the state's hockey heritage."

That's a pretty fair summation. Just one question: where's the love for the U.S. pond hockey championships, at Lake Nokomis next month? One more qualification to add to the stack.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at December 5, 2007 10:57 AM | Comments (0)

 

The Great White North

Filed under: Gophers

The biggest surprise of the Gophers’ 88-56 victory over North Dakota State on Monday was the improved play of senior forward Dan Coleman. Coleman had been caught in the muck of a season-long 17-49 shooting slump (that’s, lets see here, 34.7%) that had visibly affected his confidence in the other phases of the game. Against NDSU, Coleman was galvanized, perhaps by matching up against much smaller and less athletic opponents, and played his best game by far. He made seven of his 13 shots, showed some nice one-on-one moves, grabbed eight rebounds and was active on defense. This is the kind of play that had made Coleman one of the Gophers’ best players last year and compelled him to briefly (and terribly unwisely) enter last year’s NBA draft. If the Gophers are to have any success in the Big Ten this year, Coleman needs to play like this every night.

(Did I say “the biggest surprise of the game”? The biggest surprise of the game was actually when I walked into the arena a few minutes before the tip off and discovered that every last NDSU player was certifiably white. I mean I know its North Dakota we’re talking about, but seriously. Every last player. Again: North Dakota State, an NCAA Division I men’s basketball team, is made up entirely of white dudes. And not even a single one of them was Detlef Schrempf. Should somebody let Wesley Snipes know about this?)

The Gophers began the game a bit tentatively and the Bison hung in with them for the first 15 minutes or so, even taking an 18-17 lead with 10:52 remaining in the first half. Eventually, though, the Gophers’ superior size, athleticism and depth took their toll and as the game wore on, they were able to sustain a level of energy that NDSU couldn’t match. The U went on a 21-4 run in the last eight minutes of the first half and were never really threatened again. After the game, many commented that the Gophers “wore down” the Bison, and it was true; Tubby made good use of his deep, ten-player rotation, making sure that the five players on the floor were always well rested.

No doubt, it was the U’s best defensive effort of the year. They played disciplined, enthusiastic D for most of the game and, especially in the second half, used their trapping man-to-man to create easy baskets in transition. The problem here is that when the two teams played with roughly even energy levels (the first five minutes of each half, for instance) they looked relatively well-matched; only when the Bison fatigued did the Gophers seem like the more skilled team. Its fine to rely on depth and athleticism to pull you through against North Dakota State, a team that has played at the Division I level for only three years. But this is not a strategy that will serve them well during the Big Ten season. No matter how much they hustle, to beat teams like Indiana and Michigan State the Gophers are going to have to be able to play a little too.

The Nolen Express

Since last week’s star (at least here at Balls!) Blake Hoffarber bricked his first four threes of the game, my new favorite Gopher is fellow freshman Al Nolen. Nolen played with incredible energy, aggressiveness and poise. He picked up five steals in only 23 minutes with good anticipation and quick hands, and played hard-nosed ball defense on Bison star Ben Woodside. Lawrence McKenzie has been the Gophers leading scorer this year but against NDSU Nolen was the more patient player, never forcing his offense and scoring 15 points on 5-of-7 shooting. That’s pretty good, Al Nolen.

The Pom-Pom Monologues

One of the great recommenders of the college game over the NBA is the difference in non-basketball entertainment. Not surprisingly, college arenas favor a more organic, pep-rally atmosphere over the NBA’s late-capitalist, dystopian Disneyland feel. And while you’ll learn much less about the status of postmodern Western media culture at a college game (I guess that’s what going to class is for) you’ll also probably enjoy the actual basketball game part more, what with the authentic emotion and non-scoreboard generated crowd noise. But, wow, the cheerleaders. Cheerleading may be one of those cultural artifacts whose utter ridiculousness we overlook because we are too habituated to it to notice. I realize this is not earth-shattering news. I’m aware that cheerleaders have already been picked on in enough movies and novels and rock songs, but I’m telling you, in person its way, way weirder than you think. The male cheerleaders are sort of like fratty surrogates for the actual athletes. They are jocky, well-muscled frat boys who pump their fists a lot and strut around like they just dunked on your sister or dissed Nas on their last single. All the while, though, their female counterparts mince like motorized, ballet-dancing standard poodles, wearing intensely short skirts and photoshopped smiles. And how do these guys and girls interact? Well, the fellas are literally lifting the girls over their heads where they remain in perfect, statuesque pose, manically smiling away and looking very, very much like human trophies. I’d say it’s a little too unsettlingly kabuki for a basketball game but as a performance of gender in contemporary culture its more terr