March 2008

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2008 MLB Season Preview

Filed under: MLB

It was with little (American) fanfare that Boston and Oakland brought in the MLB season last week in Japan.With painfully early start times in the states (3:00 a.m. on the West Coast), the earliest "Opening Day" date in human history (Do the MLB powers not know what the hell a March Madness bracket is?), and with players donning advertisements akin to NASCAR racers (although Tokyo is kind of in "Southern" Japan) there was little buzz about the Eastern Opener.

However, despite the suspect start, we can all be restfully assured that baseball will pick up steam from here. For those that read my previous post, perhaps you're in agreement that the Twins will be blowing more smoke than said steam, or maybe that is just one guy's opinion.

Speaking of which, here's some additional opining on what to expect from other teams around the league, in my 2008 season preview of division winners, wild card clubs, and sleepers:

American League

A.L. West
Starting with baseball's smallest division, I find nothing minute about the chances of the Angels being great in '08. Coming off a 94-win season in which they won the West by six over Seattle, the L.A.A. of A. added OF Torii Hunter and P Jon Garland to the mix. Although the Angels didn't necessarily need Hunter, he'll man center while last year's starter, Gary Matthews, Jr. (no slouch himself) moves to a DH/4th outfield role. The other two guys out there? Just Vlad Guerrero and the aging, albeit silky-smooth Garret Anderson. That's just nasty. Speedy Chone Figgins will set the dish atop the lineup. They may run into some consistency issues with the hitting of the infielders, and the pre-season injuries to starters John Lackey and Kelvim Escobar won't bode well for their April -- but with Garland shoring things up as the projected No. 2 starter to date, a very good bullpen led by Scot Shields, and one of the game's top closers in Francisco Rodriguez, I'm liking the Angels to repeat behind one of the game's top Managers in Mike Scioscia.

A.L. East
Look for defending champs Boston to recapture their 2007 division crown here, and for the Yankees -- now sans the great patience and strength of Joe Torre -- to miss the postseason for the first time since 1994. The Red Sox' lineup is just plain crazy with young studs Jacoby Ellsbury and scrappy Dustin Pedroia setting the table for David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Mike Lowell, Kevin Youkilis, and J.D. Drew. The starting staff -- even without the injured Curt Schilling -- looks very nice, and the bullpen is among the league's best. Closer Jonathan Papelbon is, for my money, the tops in the game at his position, just as (again in my little mind) Fenway is the majors' best ballpark. Josh Beckett looks to be starting the season with some back issues; however I think young guns Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz will keep opponents honest enough until Beckett returns to his Cy-worthy self.

A.L. Central
For those that didn't see my prediction for the Twins, it's enough to say herein that the only "post" we'll be enjoying after 162 games will be of the cereal variety. Instead, I see the breakfast buffet being feasted upon by Detroit. Although I'm not necessarily buying into the merits that newly acquired Dontrelle Willis will offer their starting staff, I'm investing all I've got into the numbers that the other ex-Marlin catch, Miguel Cabrera, will add to the lineup. Offensively, this club is just stacked, 1-9, and terrific Manger Jimmy Leyland will likely pencil in his order akin to the following, according to ESPN: Edgar Renteria-Placido Polanco-Gary Sheffield-Magglio Ordonez-Miguel Carbrera-Carlos Guillen-Ivan Rodriguez-Brandon Inge-Jacque Jones. Note that stud CF Curtis Granderson will start the year on the 15-day DL, and will likely be replaced by Inge until his return. Relief pitching and defense will produce some problems for this group, and they should be involved in ample higher-scoring affairs, even though their starting staff is pretty solid with Justin Verlander at the top, and sneaky veteran Kenny Rogers at the bottom. In short: How the hell are the Boof Bonsers of the world gonna slow down these bats for 6 innings in a row?

A.L. Wild Card
Having already said that the Yankees and Twins won't be here, I'm going with Seattle to snag the 4th and final post-season slot. The Mariners, coming off a solid 88-win '07, lost little in the offseason, and bolstered their starting staff with the likes of Erik Bedard, and streaky ex-Twin Carlos Silva. Furthermore, the lineup looks nice and sneaky with less-heralded, albeit battle-tested guys like Jose Vidro, Raul Ibanez, and Jose Lopez mixing in between the better-knowns Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson. And then, of course, atop the order is the great Ichiro Suzuki who has hit at least .303 and stolen 31 bases in every year since he came to the U.S. in 2001. There are some questions in the bullpen, and closer J.J. Putz may turn out to be one, but if young hurler Felix Hernandez lives up to the hype and Sexson hits his 40 bombs, these guys will beat out both the aforementioned pinstripes and the tribe in a tight wild card race.

A.L. Sleeper
Toronto hasn't made the playoffs since they won the series in '93, and they have finished above 3rd in the A.L. East just once since that time. But if they stay healthy in '08, the Blue Jays are my American League sleeper club for the season. The left side of the St. Louis Cardinals' infield from last year has migrated north, with 2-time World Series champ David Eckstein now at SS, and Scott Rolen at 3B. Rolen looks to miss the first month with a fractured finger, but this is a guy who has played more than 151 games just thrice in a 12-plus M.L.B. seasons. Again, it's the health factor with this club: Tough lefty closer B.J. Ryan is coming off Tommy John surgery and doesn't look to be ready to do much in April. No. 2 starter A.J. Burnett is perennially hurt. Starting 1B Lyle Overbay broke his hand last year. But with Roy Halladay atop the rotation, and stud hitters like Alex Rios, Vernon Wells, and Frank Thomas meshing with the aforementioned, seasoned infielders, these dudes have the potential to win 90.

National League

N.L. West
In what I believe to be baseball's toughest division, I'm looking for defending N.L. Champs Colorado to be atop after 162, with San Diego, Arizona, and the Dodgers jockeying for a tough 2nd. The Rockies rocked-out 90-wins in '07, and possess a great lineup with the likes of Willy Taveras, Troy Tulowitzki, Todd Helton, Matt Holliday, Garrett Atkins, and Brad Hawpe going 1-6. The Helton/Holiday adjacency in the order is the best back-to-back in the N.L., and- for my money- compares with Manny/Big Papi in the A.L. Pitching wise, young lefty Jeff Francis should anchor a decent rotation, although it should be readily noted that the Rocks have a tough bullpen with Brain Fuentes and Manny Corpas. Over the duration of the season, the lineup will be too much for their competitive divisional opponents to handle.

N.L. East
The Mets took a nose dive at the closure of last year, and Philly took the Division by a game. Look for that incentive, plus the addition of Johan Santana and the health of Pedro Martinez to propel N.Y. to the title in '08. True, the Mets are starting the year with an active trainer's room, but once the season gets moving, their lineup features so much balance, neither age nor injury will stop them. With a great combination of speed (Jose Reyes), savvy (Luis Castillo), power (David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado), and incoming talent (Ryan Church, Brian Schneider), N.Y. should reach 95-wins by beating opponents in myriad forms. Add a strong rotation and a veteran closer in Billy Wagner to the mix, and their average bullpen shouldn’t slow them much.

N.L. Central
This is a screwy Division with about 76 teams- but only one of them is the clear choice to rise atop: the Cubs. The Brewers should finish above-.500 again, but Lou Piniella-led Chicago has a very sound 2-5 in the lineup, led by Alfonso Soriano and Derrek Lee. The addition of Japanese-import Kosuke Fukudome, and the ascension of CF Felix Pie adds further intrigue. Their rotation has a few questions beyond ace Carlos Zambrano, but the bullpen is sound, and Kerry Wood should prove a tough closer if -- as per usual -- he can stay on the field. The Cubs won the Division with 85-wins last year. Look for them to better that total by a handful of games in '08.

N.L. Wild Card
In what will be a zany wild card race, I like the San Diego Padres to act the proverbial patriarch, "fathering" the rest of the pack in what should be an extremely close race between
themselves, Philly, Arizona, and L.A. Their starting staff look very tight with the great Jake Peavy leading the way before Chris Young, Greg Maddux, and Randy Wolf. The bullpen is solid, and veteran closer Trevor Hoffman- with his 524 career saves- should have something left in the tank to add to that total. The lineup is sneaky with Brian Giles, Adrian Gonzalez, and ex-Chi Sox 2B Tadahito Iguchi mixing with a young left-side of the infield in SS Khalil Greene and 3B Kevin Kouzmanoff. They also added the aging, albeit oft-injured Jimmy Edmonds, and veteran slugger Tony Clark should pop the occasional bomb off the bench. These guys won 89 games last year, and really lost little in the offseason.

N.L. Sleeper
Perennially, I have a weird/bad habit of delving into the boxscores of strange teams on a daily basis. For '08, my strange team is Washington. The team unveils a new, $600 stadium that they'll fill with a bizarre and somewhat ratty lineup that I believe will surprise many, and surpass their 73- ins from last season. But the names intrigue, in the forms of Cristian Guzman, Lastings Milledge, Austin Kearns, Paul Lo Duca, Elijah Dukes, Wily Mo Pena, Ryan Zimmerman, and the 1B combo plate of Nick Johnson/Dmitri Young. The latter has some health issue to confront, but he did hit .320 last year. And although the starting staff is morbid, their bullpen features enough talent to bail them of more than a few games. Playoffs? Hell no -- but they could surprise with 85 wins.

Blogger's Note: Based on the early success with this blog, the powers at City Pages have seen fit to send Yours Truly down to Acapulco, Mexico for ten days, for the purpose of scouting a little-known pitching talent named Jorge Gomez Luis Rivas Gomez. I'm being shipped off on 3/31, armed with only a catcher’s mitt and a speed gun. I'll post from the road as I'm able, however if I'm not back by 4/11, tell my mom that I love her, and put a Kirby Puckett quote on my gravestone.

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 31, 2008 5:00 AM | Comments (3)

 

Kurtis Foster back in Minneapolis after horrifying crash

Filed under: Wild

Good news from Wild PR spokesman Ryan Stanzel: Kurtis Foster is back home and recovering from his broken leg.

Defenseman Kurtis Foster, who sustained a displaced fracture of his left femur March 19 at San Jose, necessitating surgery, was transported by plane today from San Jose to Minneapolis. He will be admitted to an area hospital, where he will be evaluated by a team doctor, and where he will continue the physical therapy he has been undergoing daily at San Jose's O'Connor Hospital. He will be discharged when he is physically able to move about his home under his own power. There is no set timetable for moving him into his home. His progress will dictate when he leaves the hospital.

For those who haven't seen it yet, here's the YouTube clip of Foster's car-crash-like collision with the boards while chasing the puck:

More good news: The Wild committed to re-signing Foster when he recovers:

It's not known when, or even if, defenseman Kurtis Foster will be able to play next season after breaking his femur last week, but Wild General Manager Doug Risebrough said Friday he plans to re-sign the free-agent-to-be.

"I don't have to qualify him [to retain his rights], but I will," Risebrough said. "It's a bad message not to do that. He's a good player. He needs a motivation [to rehab], and he doesn't need that stress in his life."

That's a standup move by Risebrough, and more evidence that hockey remains one of the few sports that values personal honor.

Posted by Kevin Hoffman at March 28, 2008 8:41 PM | Comments (1)

 

(Chunky) Minnesota Twins 2008 Season Preview

Filed under: MLB

"The identity you think you are does not exist." -- Source and Date Unknown

And so it begins. But before we delve into what the answers are for this 2008 campaign, we must first recognize the questions, the most important of which is: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE? What are we? A small market club building toward the proverbial future (with a payroll nearing $70 million)? A retooled American League Sleeper just one season removed from a divisional title? Cheapskates? A team waiting in the weeds, preparing to pounce in 2010 upon the unveiling of our still-to-be named, uncovered (please note predicted temperature of this year's Opening Day) ballpark? Or perhaps, like so many other clubs: sanguine, hopeful, grinding, streaky, enigmatic, and perhaps, woefully average.

I don't know. And truly, nobody does. But as the season began halfway around the world earlier in the dawn of this writing day, and our home opener arrives in less than a week, the answers will slowly come. And, in my opinion for this version of the Twins, so will the questions ...

There is no doubt that we have talent, more so than probably half the teams in the A.L. But it's the other half that concerns me. And while I'll detail other clubs in my ensuing M.L.B. Preview, I'll simply say herein that Boston, Detroit, the Angels, and Seattle are clearly better than us. Furthermore, I'd have to say that the Yankees and Cleveland are above us as well. Lastly, I look for Toronto to be pretty solid, and also for the White Sox to rebound. So, in my mind -- we're about the 7th best team in the American League. That's not playoff ready. With Santana at the top of the rotation -- or should GM Bill Smith have been able to trigger the Johan trade with the Red Sox for Jacoby Ellsbury and Jon Lester -- I'd put us at 4th, ahead of the aforementioned Mariners. But alas, we got what we got and did what we did, and our roster is ready for battle. Let's look at a few numbers:

Last year, the Twins scored 718 runs, ranking them 12th among A.L. teams. Gone from that equation is Torii Hunter, who scored a team-high 94 of said runs, and drove in 107, second on the club behind Justin Morneau's 111. Hunter (who is allegedly considering removing the second "i" from his name in a newfound measure of L.A. chic) has essentially been replaced in the lineup by the young and beefy Delmon Young, who once ate an entire busload of schoolchildren during an off-day. Nonetheless, dude can really hit, as evidenced by his awesome 2007 in which the former #1 overall draft selection played every game, accrued 93 R.B.I. on a crappy Tampa Bay squad, and hit a very solid .288, while finishing 2nd in Rookie of the Year balloting.

In addition, Michael Lamb should do his .281-thing at the plate, although defensively he'll make Nick Punto look like Brooks Robinson. Adam Everett, he of the .997 career fielding percentage, is a major defensive upgrade at SS over Jason Bartlett, although the juice with that trade-off is that Everett has hit above .256 just once in his seven seasons of Major League service. Also notable is the DH slot where longtime Twin-killer Craig Monroe, and his .304 lifetime average at the Dome, will match with the supposedly-ascending Jason Kubel to instill great fear in whomever the #5 starters are for the Royals, Rays, Rangers, and Orioles, respectively. At 2B, Brendan Harris will likely share time with Punto (as will Lamb at 3B). Like Lamb, the ball looks like a Lion to Harris and he should piss off Gardy in short time with questionable fielding and suspect turning of double play balls. His acceptable lifetime average of .273, however, should behoove the bottom of the order.

And then there's Carlos Gomez, whom the Twins acquired from the Mets in the Santana trade- becoming the lone principle from the transaction to make our roster. Gomez, by all accounts, is loaded with crazy potential. At 22, he'll man Center Field, having won the spot over Denard Span, the team's top draft pick back in 2002. That doesn’t bode well for Span, for whom I felt pretty bad. The guy had himself a strong spring, hitting .282, stealing 3 bases, while committing 0 errors in 16 games and talking some smack that he ultimately backed up. Gomez' speed, as evidenced by his Spring A.L. best (tied) 10 steals, is, without question, a tantalizing talent to have at the top of our lineup that should follow with the studly likes of Joe Mauer, Michael Cuddyer, Morneau and Young. But I fear we'll all soon learn that batting leadoff in the Bigs requires additional talents (e.g. Patience, Bunting) that may still be beyond his years.

Relating from a personal anecdote, I recall a meeting of "cuts" at the onset of season back when I was assistant coaching Varsity baseball, and the head coach sliced a kid, a senior, who was decent enough talent-wise, but who had ultimately, I felt, put in the time required during his high school career to be given -- if nothing else -- an earnest opportunity to succeed at the highest level. Alas, he was cut in favor of a younger kid with more upside. And the senior? He walked out of that meeting room bawling his eyes out -- and I couldn’t blame him. Accordingly to recent reports out of Fort Myers, Span was said to have done the same ...

Here's how the lineups compare from Opening Day 2007, to this year:

2007 2008
L. Castilo- 2B C. Gomez- CF
N. Punto- 3B J. Mauer- C
J. Mauer- C M. Cuddyer- RF
M. Cuddyer- RF J. Morneau- 1B
J. Morneau- 1B D. Young- LF
T. Hunter- CF C.Monroe/J. Kubel- DH
R. White- LF M. Lamb- 3B
J. Cirillo- DH B. Harris- 2B
J. Bartlett- SS A. Everett- SS

Moving onto the hurlers, I'll exercise brevity in saying that the bullpen should again be amongst the A.L.'s best. Joe Nathan's recent signing of a contract extension was nicely timed by GM Smith, and should boost confidence and morale. While the vast dollar amount has its doubters, I'm all for it -- it's not my money and Nathan has 160 saves since arriving in Minnesota in '03. Otherwise, the middle relievers look to be very strong and very similar to our recent past. Journeyman Brian Bass, despite a funny name, had a great spring and will likely come north with the club as the 12th pitcher. Bass also has the valuable ability to spot start if needed.

Which brings us to the rotation, which compares as such from Opening Day 2007 to this year:

2007 2008
J. Santana- L L. Hernandez- R
B. Bonser- R B. Bonser- R
R. Ortiz- R K. Slowey- R
C. Silva- R N. Blackburn- R
S. Ponson- R

Note that I opaquely left both Scott Baker and "The Franchise," Francisco Liriano off of the Opening Day list- that's just my gut. Despite his great spring showing on 3/23, those who know far more about ligaments than yours truly have duly noted how gingerly the Twins have handled Liriano post-Tommy John surgery. Add to that the recent reports in which Gardy oft-attached the word "leery" to his speculations of Liriano's Opening Day readiness, and in my mind we have an extended spring training for "The Franchise."

I'm thinking that Baker will start the year on the D.L. given his recent lat injury and flu bug, and that Liriano won't see a great deal of action in April. Look for the "Fisherman" to get those aforementioned spot starts on Friday, April, 4, against K.C., and perhaps again on Monday, April 14th at Detroit.

All told, the club's projected 4 starters (combined with the injured/Bass) have a Total of 183 big league wins. Sounds acceptable, yes? Perhaps -- until one looks at the fact that 134 of those W's come compliments of Hernandez who was 11-11 last year, has never won 18 games in a season, and has seen his win totals decline for three consecutive years.

And therein, for me, sports fans, lies the rub. The Twins should have an improved offensive standing in the A.L. this year, Everett will shore up the Defense, and Gomez will no doubt have moments that leave moths agape -- but at the end of the day, our strong bullpen, and the great Nathan, will only save our starters' asses so many times. Expect higher scoring games accounting for both victory, and loss, in 2008. The young staff surely has some terrific potential and talent, but unless Liriano can rediscover his 2006 form, miss minimal time and astound us with 25 wins of his own, we may need binoculars to view the wild card from Metrodome come August.

My prediction: 81-81 (what can I say- I like synchronicity ...)

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 26, 2008 6:47 AM | Comments (8)

 

Tiger Woods is over the hill

Filed under: Golf

Not really. But he did finally lose. Tiger's streak of seven straight tournament victories, including five PGA Tour events, came to an end today at the CA Championship. Starting the rain-ravaged tournament's final day with seven holes to play and five strokes behind, Woods couldn't close the gap on Geoff Ogilvy. He finished a shameful fifth on the leaderboard--two strokes behind the leader.

Posted by Paul Demko at March 24, 2008 4:41 PM | Comments (1)

 

Border battle

Filed under: Soccer

U.S. faces Canada tonight with Olympic birth at stake

The U.S. is yet to deliver a convincing performance in Olympic qualifying. The team staggered to a 1-1- draw against Cuba, then added 1-0 victories over CONCACAF minnows Panama and Honduras. Even more troubling the Americans scored just one goal from the run of play during those three matches. But the squad's lack of dynamic, attacking soccer will be irrelevant if they can knock off Canada tonight (8 p.m. CST, Fox Soccer Channel) in Nashville and claim a spot in Beijing. The other semifinal will feature Guatemala and Honduras (5:00, FSC)

The Canucks advanced by crushing Guatemala 5-0, in the process (hilariously) eliminating Mexico. So the Americans will be a facing a border rival this evening, but it won't be the one that everyone anticipated. Midfielders Freddy Adu and Stuart Holden (pictured above) have been the most impressive attacking players for the U.S., while Chad Barrett and Eddie Gaven have been notably poor. The former has displayed feet of stone, while the latter seems to lack sufficient mettle for international competition. Jonathan Spector, who lately has been starting for West Ham in the EPL, has joined the squad in Music City to bolster the defense. He'll likely be paired with the promising Michael Orozco in central defense.

Folks in the Twin Cities will be gathering to watch the match at the Sweetwater. Join us.

Posted by Paul Demko at March 20, 2008 10:20 AM | Comments (1)

 

Estimated Prophet

Filed under: Gophers

Well, the Gophers’ season came to a rather depressing end on Tuesday night, with a 68-58 loss to Maryland, in the first round of the NIT. The game was basically even save for the second half’s dreadful four opening minutes. In that stretch, the Terrapins took advantage of a discombobulated Gophers’ squad, fast-breaking and dunking their way to a 12-2 run. The Gophers had already been struggling on offense, failing to break 60 points or shoot better than 40% in their previous five games. This situation was not helped, to put it mildly, by the loss of their best scorer and only true one-on-one threat, Lawrence McKenzie, who injured his foot in practice. The team made some open shots early in the game in jumping to a 16-10 lead but, for the most part, they had an impossible time getting good looks.

It wasn’t that they were passive or failed to execute their offense—they only turned it over 14 times—or that Maryland was all that overwhelming defensively, though the athletic Terrapins did a fine job fighting over screens, rotating and contesting shots. It was just that with McKenzie out, Spencer Tollackson hobbling, and Dan Coleman customarily meek (that poor dude; in the final game of a star-crossed career that, at one point, included NBA aspirations, he went 0-4, dislocated his pinkie and fouled out with no points—that makes me feel awful), they simply didn’t have anybody who could make tough shots or get to the line (they shot only 31.3% from the floor and took only nine free throws; they couldn’t do anything, basically). Lawrence Westbrook did his best to fill the void, aggressively using his quickness and handle to break down the defense. But although the 6 foot Westbrook is a good scorer in the open court, he has a hard time finishing or making good decisions in traffic. To make matters worse, he has a poor midrange game, which allows team to clog the lane when he drives. Maryland did a good job of this and the end result was usually a flailing layup, a desperate pass or a missed 12-footer. It was incredibly frustrating, as have been all of their recent games, because the Gophers gave tremendous effort and got some good stops on defense but just couldn’t ever close the gap.

Sunrise

Aside from their painful scoring droughts, the team’s biggest problem was inside. With the aforementioned injuries (I think Jonathan Williams, their other big man, got banged up in there somewhere, too), they had a pretty rough time matching up with Maryland’s tough, athletic forwards, James Gist and Bambale Osby, and protecting the basket when the Terps’ guards got into the lane. This is largely the cause of the huge foul disparity between the teams (a 23-12 disparity that incited one of the great Bronx cheers, led vehemently by Tubby himself, I’ve ever witnessed). Given that he was often the lone Gopher over 6’5”, Damian Johnson’s performance was even more amazing. Johnson isn’t really a natural scorer (to put it mildly) but has been the Gophers’ best player over the past week, even finding a way, largely due to pure effort, to contribute some points. The Maryland loss might have been the best game of his career. Check this heavy stat line: 6-11 for 14 points, 12 rebounds (half of them offensive), four blocks, four steals. I hope you watched this game just for the sight of Johnson fighting two or three taller Terps for offensive rebounds; blocking three pointers (I haven’t kept track, but he’s gotten one in almost every game I’ve seen—when was the last time you saw any other non-high schooler do this, even once? I realize he’s got “longish” arms but, seriously!) basically single-handedly keeping the U in the game. Dude was straight busting his ass. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Passengers

It seems like I should probably do some summing up. Despite the disappointment of the past few days, despite the heartbreaking near misses and the bad losses, I think it’s obvious that the Gophers made huge progress. A year ago, after all, a 20-win season would have seemed unthinkable, as would have even being competitive with the best teams in the conference. It’s a good start; and next year brings more reason to hope: improvement in Al Nolen's point guard skills to accompany his nasty defense, a more well-rounded Blake Hoffarber, junior-college transfers and high school recruits coming in to shore up the team’s backcourt scoring and frontcourt size. But even more—and I got a sense of this in the baffled way he talked about his teams inconsistency and their strange lapses in competitive fire—I think Tubby is impatient to replace the players who were part of the U’s long, slow slide. All year, you could see him scrambling for every matchup advantage, every shred of momentum—he definitely succumbed to the tendency to overcoach and micro-manage, to take the game out of the players’ hands.

Although that is one of the least appealing aspects of college basketball, in a way I can’t blame him. It’s not so much that he had to overcompensate for poor talent, although the Gophers were definitely less deep then your average Big Ten squad. It’s more that he seemed to know that many of them had been too well trained over the past few years in a culture of low expectations, in which effort and hope only ever served to forestall disaster. You could see it in Dan Coleman’s faraway eyes, Spencer Tollackson’s demonstrative self-admonishments, even in McKenzie’s frustrated attempts at vocal leadership; these guys had been disappointed one too many times. Aside from the few moments when McKenzie found his shot, flashed that gleeful grin and bounced down the court like the natural scorer he is, I never got the sense that they were ever really playing. As in, like, youthful abandon, performing freedom, having fun.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at March 20, 2008 12:09 AM | Comments (0)

 

The Jo-Jo Equation

Filed under: MLB

It's no mystery that Minnesotan sports fans are the strong possessors of the strange and unique tenet known kindly as Nostalgia. That may be putting it nicely.  Another way of noting this will be emblematic, in time, as evidenced by the great Sid Hartman's eventual gravestone which will surely include the fact that Rick Rickert signed a new two-year contract to hoop in Turkey, or some such place ... 

That said (and readily admitting that I've read Sid since the early-'80's), it must be in my Minnesota blood to shiver at the sight of Johan Santana in Mets' blue, and red, and black. "Breaking up is hard to do," as the bard once sang, especially when your former chick is a two-time Cy Young winner who should really possess three such awards (if not for a lack of run-support in '05), and whom I personally consider to be not just the top hurler in the game, but also one of the best athletes in all of professional sport.  
 
In addition, the trade that sent Santana to the Mets was largely unpopular here in town, and I would agree with said sentiment, in short, because I truly think that the Twins are a fairly solid club this year, and, with Santana, would have had the opportunity to compete for a post-season slot.  Furthermore, should we have obtained major-league-ready-talent in the trade, I feel that too would have behooved us to improve our chances for the Second Season. But alas, we settled for prospects.  Good ones, no doubt, in the respective forms of outfielder Carlos Gomez, and pitchers Kevin Mulvey, Philip (don't call me "Phil") Humber, and Deolis Guerra.  And while a popular, local blogger rated these four among the organization's top 8 prospects in a recent 3/10/08 post, I think he would agree that even if both Gomez and Humber start the season with the the Big Club, the 2008 Twins are surely, and sadly, worse-for-wear sans Jo-Jo.  
 
Again, it's in the blood. There's something specific within the grains of our Bread Basket DNA that just won't allow us to forget, won’t let us let go.  To wit: I don’t necessarily know why I know that our former 2B Luis Rivas is trying to catch on with the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates at present -- I JUST DO.  I can't explain it. That information is surely housed in the same space in my brain that, for reasons unexplained, knows who the hell Annabella Sciorra is (and how to spell her name) and what films she's starred in over the years. I don’t want to know that, and there are without any doubt far more important matters that could and surely should fill this part of my rear lobe, but alas, this is what's in there. This is what I know. Luis Rivas is currently hitting .387 in the Grapefruit League by the way ...
 
And so, we have the Jo-Jo Equation.  And the aim of said math is to track the quality and pathos of the Santana trade over the course of the year, comparing the great Santana's numbers with the principals our favorite club received in the trade. And while it's always been readily apparent since the trade was orchestrated that the Twins were exchanging Proof for Hope, the Jo-Jo Equation will thus compensate for Minor League stats in the following way:
 
Minor League numbers accrued will receive the following Point Totals at their respective levels of play:
 
-AAA Rochester
Pitching: 1/2 point for a win, a strikeout, or a save. 
Hitting: 1/2 point for each total base, a stolen base, or an RBI.  
Fielding: 1/2 point for an assist, and a negative 1/2 point for an error.
 
-Below this level, all point totals are worth 1/3.  (Even though the AA level is more about grooming the MLB prospects, rarely is the jump made from here to the Big Show).
 
-For all Major League numbers accrued, full points are awarded/deducted in the same areas.
 
Now, there are no doubt another 589 statistical categories that could be implemented here to further examine and compare Santana with the 4 fellas now on our side -- but let's stick to the basics, I say, and see how the tally comes out. On a monthly basis, I'll be punching in the totals on this front, and will post the comparisons in this space.
 
It's in the blood.  Now I just need to figure out which way is upright with this abacus.

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 19, 2008 10:17 AM | Comments (12)

 

Fear the turtle

Filed under: Gophers

As a lifelong Maryland Terrapin fan, proud owner of a "Fear the Turtle" t-shirt, and ardent believer that the day Len Bias died was the most tragic in sports history, a brief consideration of what the Gophers will face on Tuesday night.

Maryland got off to one of the worst starts in school history. They lost to a string of anemic teams prior to the ACC season: American, Ohio (University, not State), Virginia Commonwealth. Then they suddenly got their shit together and won six of seven in the ACC, highlighted by an away victory over top-ranked North Carolina. Just five weeks ago the terps looked to be a tournament lock and potentially a highly dangerous team in the post-season.

But then came a total meltdown. The terps lost five of their final six games, lowlighted by somehow blowing a 20 point lead in the second half against Clemson. It was the most brutal Maryland loss since 2001 when they squandered a 10-point-lead against Duke in the final minute. The upshot: this is one mentally screwed up, but pretty talented team.

The lynchpin of the squad is Venezeulan sophomore point guard Greivis Vasquez, who led the team in points (17.3 pg), assists (6.9 pg), and steals (46). Vasquez is a dynamic passer, a menace driving to the hoop, and presents matchup problems for most teams with his size (6' 6"). But he's also a suspect jumpshooter, hitting barely thirty percent of his threes, and can be more than a bit erratic, averaging more than five turnovers per game.

The other players to watch are the senior big men Bambale Osby (11.2 ppg) and James Gist (15.8 ppg). The former is a menacing post player who can dominate the boards. But he has a tendency to disappear for long stretches and to draw stupid fouls. He also sports a massive, bad-ass afro. Gist is the more refined player, with a mid-range jumpshot that can be automatic when he's on his game.

The X factor for Maryland this year has been Eric Hayes. The sophomore guard is the best outside shooter on the team (40 percent from beyond the arc), but tends to have trouble finding open looks. When he starts knocking down threes, the Terps can resemble a potent offensive team.

My guess is that we'll see a deflated Maryland team put in a suspect effort against a Gopher squad that's just happy to be playing in any post-season tournament.

Posted by Paul Demko at March 17, 2008 2:38 PM | Comments (0)

 

Slow Century

Filed under: Gophers

In case you haven’t heard, the Big Ten is a little down this year (um, decade). I’ve heard lots of TV commentators attempt to counter this statement (usually by appealing to the quality of the conference’s coaches) but the tournament selection committee seems agree with the prevailing sentiment, as evidenced by the fact that only four teams were chosen for the 64-team field. Among the major conferences, only the ACC did as poorly and we saw what happened when the two leagues went head-to-head (in case you missed it, the ACC won almost every game). Even worse, the style of play that has taken hold in the Big Ten, a sludgy, defense and half-court approach, is pretty unpalatable. I really don’t know if this conservatism is a philosophic choice (some uncharitable reflection of dour midwesternism, maybe) or a response to the league’s general lack of talent, but, frankly, it’s a little depressing.

Rusty Cage

Now, this year’s conference tournament offered lots of what there is to love about college basketball: passion and intensity, huge upsets, incredible finishes. But it also featured a whole lot of what is not so great about the game: the absolute refusal to shoot until at least 30 seconds had elapsed off the shot clock; painfully bad shooting; ragged, inelegant play. If we forget about the last minute of the Minnesota-Indiana game and the fact that the 10th-seeded team scored a series of upsets to make the final, we have to face facts: the games themselves were not too great. (Anyway, neither of those are even the most remarkable college basketball thing that happened this weekend. After the Atlanta tornado damaged the Georgia Dome, Georgia, who finished the regular season 13-16, was forced to play twice on Saturday and then again on Sunday to win the SEC tournament. Dudes: they won four games in three days.) Of course, the end result was no surprise to anyone: Wisconsin smothered Illinois pretty easily with their “patient” (by that I mean slow, so slow) half-court offense, flawless rebounding and grinding defense. Every time I see them play I’m more impressed with how good they are and also how much I dislike them. Billy Packer put it well when describing Badger coach Bo Ryan’s recruiting philosophy. Ryan doesn’t necessarily look for the “best” players, said Packer. Instead he “looks for a player that fits his system and then trains them perfectly.” Really stirs the pulse, eh?

I Can't Quit You

As for our Gophers, this tournament was, in many ways, a microcosm of their strange season. Like many fans, I would imagine, I came into this year with pretty moderate expectations—it’s the first year of a rebuilding process, after all, and these things take time etc, etc. But, with their evident camaraderie, with their bursts of inspired play, these Gophers somehow managed to kind of worm their way into my heart. They always did just enough to engender some hope—and would next, of course, proceed to capitalize on that hope by playing appallingly badly.

Things did not begin auspiciously. Northwestern, as they sometimes do, gave the Gophers fits in the first half of their game on Thursday, leading by 16 at one point. The U managed to put together a 21-8 run to get back into the game and they eventually hung on to win, barely. Combine that inauspicious effort with the fact that the bar I where I was watching the game had almost all of their TVs tuned to CNN’s “Situation Room,” in which our good friend Wolf Blitzer and his pal Lou Dobbs glibly reduce incredibly important things to noxious little quotables, and the evening turned out to be pretty nerve-wracking.

I probably don’t need to remind you of what happened next. It’s important to remember, though, that the game itself was pretty ugly. As they did earlier this year, the Gophers stayed in the game by keeping things sloppy, pressuring Indiana’s young guards into mistakes. And, just as they did earlier this year, they found themselves in a position to win at the end and were unable to put the game away. Then came that ridiculous final minute. Two disclaimers here: 1) DJ White was a completely deserving winner of the Big Ten Player of the Year award this year; I’m pretty sure he’s my favorite player in the conference and I think he’ll be pretty decent in the NBA. 2) Remember that I have yet to complain about officiating even once this year. But: the Gophers got hosed. I know that three of their four big players were out of the game, due to injury and foul problems. And I know that DJ is pretty dang good. But there’s no way he should have been able to go over-the-top of a player with good position, tip the ball in, and also get fouled. It’s totally ridiculous. Anyway, that was, of course followed by one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen in a basketball game. By that point I had lost all pretense of objectivity and was shrieking and cursing at the television and slapping my hands on the bar. Just couldn’t stop. I’ll beg you to watch it again a few more times. I’ve done it quite a bit and it makes me feel really good. The one thing I’ll call your attention to is Hoffarber’s catch. The guy is only 6’4” and he can’t really jump. It makes no sense that he could catch that ball while surrounded by three bigger, more athletic Hoosiers. It makes no sense.

And then the Gophers followed it all up by laying an absolute dud on Saturday, against a pretty mediocre Illinois team (who had, nevertheless beaten them twice before). That’s a little frustrating. Throughout the season, the Gophers have been hampered by three big problems: defending outside shooters, rebounding, and offensive inconsistency. After the first half of the Northwestern game, they seemed to have fixed the first two. They held Indiana to 1-14 from three and 32% overall (though they did foul up a storm), and none of their opponents managed to score 60 points. And, despite their foul trouble and Spencer Tollackson’s ankle injury, they managed to rebound competitively in all three games, thanks to good contributions from their guards.

That third thing is what killed them. Although a few Gophers have shown flashes of offensive creativity, Lawrence McKenzie is really the only one who can consistently create his own look and, because of his height, even he often has trouble finishing inside. This means that when they are not executing their offense well, or when the other team is applying good defensive pressure, the Gophers have an extremely hard time scoring in their half-court. It causes them to miss opportunities created by their defense and it causes the awful scoring droughts that they endured through significant portions of each of the three games. Illinois is not nearly as bad as their record would suggest but, still, the Gophers only scored 50 on 39% shooting. Did I mention how frustrating that was?

One Last Thing

As expected (predicted!), the Gophers are NIT bound. Thanks largely to that Indiana win, they get a 4 seed and home court advantage for at least the first game of the tournament, on Tuesday. They play the Maryland Terrapins (I give my word that I will make a "Terrapin Station" joke in my next post) who, like the Gophers, finished sixth in their conference and was beaten in their tournament by a much lower seeded opponent. Also like the Gophers, they’ve been fairly inconsistent, beating #1 North Carolina but losing to American University. I really have no idea how it will turn out. See you there.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at March 17, 2008 12:26 AM | Comments (0)

 

A tale of two stompings

Filed under: NHL

The 8-game suspension handed down to Anaheim's Chris Pronger for stomping Vancouver's Ryan Kesler is being questioned by those who remember the 30-game suspension for a similar incident involving Wild winger Chris Simon.

First, here's a video of Pronger's actions:

Initially, the NHL wasn't going to penalize Pronger at all. That came as a shock considering how similar it was to an incident three months ago, before Simon joined the Wild, when he was given an unheard-of 30-game suspension for stomping Jarkko Ruutu. Here's the footage:

But then the NHL saw a new camera angle and scheduled a phone hearing with Pronger yesterday. Go to about :35 to see the new angle:

In response to the new footage, Pronger has been handed an 8-game suspension for the stomp. Not only is that 22 games short of Simon's punishment, the NHL actually went out of its way to try to justify Pronger's actions:

"In attempting to free himself, Pronger carelessly and recklessly brought his foot down," Colin Campbell, the NHL's director of hockey operations, said in a statement.

Go back and look at that new angle. Does that look like Pronger was just trying to free his skate? Looks a lot more like an old fashioned boot party to me. What do you think?

Posted by Kevin Hoffman at March 16, 2008 2:48 PM | Comments (0)

 

Miserable performance by U.S. Olympic squad

Filed under: Soccer

The U.S. men's Olympic qualifying campaign got off to a dismal start last night in Tampa. The Americans could only manage a 1-1 tie against a lowly Cuban side. The yanks dominated the opening quarter of an hour, culminating in a 13th minute goal by Freddy Adu--easily the best player on the pitch.

But then the game seemed to run completely off the rails for the U.S. squad. The midfield collapsed, Jozy Altidore got beaten to a pulp, and the Cubans netted the inevitable equalizer just before halftime.

The second half was painful to watch. The Americans dominated possession, but seemed to lack any clue how to unlock the bunkered defense. Robbie Findley blew a wide-open breakaway with a brutal attempt at finishing. The Cubans meanwhile spent most of the half lying on the grass writhing in faux agony.

Let's hope tomorrow's performance against Panama is a little more impressive.

Posted by Paul Demko at March 12, 2008 2:54 PM | Comments (2)

 

It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that Spring

Filed under: MLB

Well, no hints nor flavor on the Bonds front as of yet (from any club -- Japan included), although our boys have begun to find an early collective rhythm through a dozen spring training games. Our record stands at both an A.L., and Grapefruit League-best 8-4 (from a % standpoint), and key pieces of the proverbial puzzle have shown early signs of success.

Delmon Young has surely been the Spring standout, and has been seemingly seeing hardballs the size of Grapefruits, as evidenced by his leviathan .474 average, and 12 total bases. Somebody called Randy Ruiz should also be noted for an impressive showing, with a .450 average and 17 total bases -- although he's a "Non-Roster Invitee," dons #73 and has yet to play an MLB game.

In addition, from a player standpoint, Francisco Liriano now seems to be finding something of an introductory groove back into the live pitching cycle, and Twins Country was able to collectively exhale when "The Franchise" tossed a solid 1 2/3 against the Red Sox on March 7 and didn't walk off the mound screaming "OH MY SWEET LORD MY ARM HAS NEVER BEEN THIS SHADE OF LAVENDER AND I CAN'T FEEL MY THUMBS!!!"

But what does all this mean? Well, the spring season is no doubt important for answering individual personnel questions, evaluating position battles, and gauging the respective health statuses of those harboring injury or returning from off-season injury. From a pure record standpoint, though, a stroll along the base paths of Springs Yore tells us that a club's record in spring means as much as a Sidney Ponson work visa. From 2003-'07, here are the respective percentages of teams who accrued Top 10 MLB Spring Training records who then ultimately went on to make the playoffs in said year:

2003: 30%
2004: 50%
2005: 20%
2006: 20%
2007: 30%

Furthermore, it should be noted that the past five World Series champions have amassed a combined record of 76-71 in the Spring, with two of these clubs posting below .500 records (Florida in 2003; Chi Sox in 2005) in the season before the season. In addition, these same 5 years have seen only a single instance in which a Top 10 spring team made it to the series (with Boston and St. Louis both noted in 2004). Lastly in this regard, it's perhaps notable that lowly Cincinnati has proven a perennial Grapefruit League powerhouse, with not just a winning record going into today's posting, but with winning spring records for four years running. The Reds have found the post-season just once since 1990. Perhaps new skip Dusty Baker can turn it around for them. But DON'T go to their website: It will hurt your eyes. I'm not kidding.

With Opening Day about three weeks away for our favorite club, let's focus on those position battles (especially in center field, where candidates Carlos Gomez, Denard Span, and Jason Pridie all still have a plethora of "proving" to do), and not get too caught up in the outcome of ballgames. The lure of the grapefruit, what with it's wealth of Vitamin C and the antioxidant lycopene, should be approached with measured consumption. One or two taste good and are no doubt good for you. More than that and you're risking an acidic gut and the emergence of canker sores.

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 11, 2008 1:18 PM | Comments (13)

 

U.S. Olympic qualifiers kick off tomorrow

Filed under: Soccer

The U.S. will face Cuba tomorrow at 7 p.m. CST in Tampa. Panama and Honduras are also in the group. All games will be televised on Fox Soccer Channel. The U-23 squad will be fighting for two CONCACAF births in Beijing. The U.S. and Mexico are prohibitive favorites, but four years ago the Americans failed to qualify. Playing on their home soil, it would be humiliating if they again fail to make the cut.

The U.S. squad should be dynamic and dangerous. Jozy Altidore and Freddy Adu will likely pace the attack, with Maurice Edu wearing the captain's armband and patrolling the midfield. Chris Seitz will almost certainly get the call in net. Other intriguing players to keep an eye on are Michael Orozco, a defender who plays with San Luis in the Mexican top flight, and Charlie Davies, a forward who suits up for Hammarby in Sweden.

Folks will be gathering in the Twin Cities at the Sweetwater to watch tomorrow's match. Join us.

Posted by Paul Demko at March 10, 2008 10:55 PM | Comments (0)

 

Can't Stop What's Comin'

After their biggest win of the season, at home against Ohio State last Saturday, the Gophers had to know their only hope of an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament was to win their final two regular season games--on the road against Indiana and Illinois. They managed neither. As in most of the games they have played against good teams this year, against Indiana the Gophers looked good enough to win for much of the game before one of their patented scoring droughts hit with about eight minutes to go. What had been a tight game turned into a 14 point loss. At Illinois--the 10th place team in the conference who had already embarrassed Minnesota at Williams Arena--they reprised another oldie-but-goodie: not rebounding in any circumstance, for any reason.

So: the Gophs last hope is an improbable, stirring Big Ten tournament victory, the kind of thing that almost never happens. They first play Northwestern on Thursday in a game that they really should win (but, I mean, you never know). Then comes the hard part. If they do dispatch the Wildcats, they would earn the privilege of facing Indiana again, then probably Purdue, and then probably Wisconsin. That's three teams that the Gophers have yet to beat in five chances. In other words, it's a rough road. I'll let you know how it turns out, though.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at March 9, 2008 11:18 PM | Comments (2)

 

Losing My Religion, and Lots of Basketball Games

There are lots of ways of being bad in the NBA, and in the last week, which featured back-to-back home Wolves losses to powers like Charlotte and Seattle (that’s 130 losses between the three of them—this season!), I got a pretty close look at many of them. In Seattle we have the “bewilderingly constructed” bad team (the Knicks are the prime example of this). The Sonics are partially designed around a 19-year-old phenom and partially around semi-good holdovers from their last good Ray Allen-led squad. They manage to synthesize two lethal NBA archetypes: the disillusioned veteran, tugged along by his own dull inertia and the clueless youngster who gets by solely on his own talent. The Bobcats are the prototypical “ravaged by injuries” bad team. They have playing without three of their preseason starters—Sean May, Adam Morrison and Gerald Wallace—and are forced to scrape by with role players and reserves at most spots.

That brings us to our Timberwolves, the classic “talented-but-inexperienced” bad team. Such teams often play well in some stretches and then appallingly badly in others. They often seem to be equally competitive against good teams and bad. They have a poor feel for the rhythm of the game, often missing opportunities and suddenly becoming listless and ragged at the most inopportune moments (like, say, the last five minutes of the game). I’ve defended the Wolves’ honor once or twice based on the fact that they are a likeable, generally entertaining team with a ton of upside. And while I’d gladly take this team over a few others with more wins (those disastrous Knicks, or even the Sonics and Bobcats, this week’s results notwithstanding) there’s absolutely no contesting the fact that they have lost 47 of their 60 games. Wow, when you put it like that it’s kind of depressing.

The Sonics. The Sonics.

Against Seattle, the Wolves started the game in one of those aforementioned malaises and then ended on one of those aforementioned missed opportunities. It all added up to a rather heartbreaking overtime loss, but the game was a pretty exciting, competitive contest between two legit NBA teams.

One of the great surprises of that game was Kevin Durant. Purely because he scores a relatively large amount of points per game (19.5) he is the favorite for rookie-of the year honors. But those points have come at the expense of many, many bad misses, many forced shots, many possessions where his teammates do not see the ball—he’s shooting only 40% for the year and, though he takes a whole lot of them, only makes 29% of his three pointers.

A few things were evident from seeing him in person. First of all, he is very tall (6’11” and very young (barely 19). The fact that is a very junior member of a men’s club is reflected in his little-brotherly demeanor. He slumps his shoulders and kind of shuffles/swaggers in a very teenage way. And he carries that sullen, recognizably adolescent, almost embarrassed scowl—the look that says its bearer is both incredibly self-conscious but also totally oblivious to being noticed by anybody. He seemed to be pretty clueless whenever he did not have the ball, sort of floating around waiting for a pass, halfheartedly setting screens when it suited him. And on defense the less said the better. I’m pretty sure that he never once adopted anything approximating the kind of defensive stance that they teach you at all levels of basketball. That should do it.

But, I have to say, I did not expect at all the things I saw when he got the ball in his hands; it was strange, at those moments, to see him transcend the awkward teenager, gain a ferocity and sense of purpose. He has that quality shared by only the most phenomenally gifted athletes: the ability to perform incredibly difficult physical tasks at high speed and with intoxicating fluidity—as if you are watching in both fast and slow motion. He may be a pure novice at the NBA game but, I’m telling you—and this is something I did not fully appreciate until I saw him up close—Kevin Durant is a magnificently talented basketball player.

Real Bobcats in the Sack

The Charlotte game, on the other hand, was a total mess. The lack of Wallace on the Bobcats’ side and Corey Brewer and Rashad McCants on Minnesota’s side (concussion, thigh bruise and flu, respectively), three fairly dynamic and/or energetic players, led to a bland, spiritless game. The two teams seemed to have entered into, as Coach Wittman put it, a “non-aggression pact,” playing the kind of stolid, isolation-oriented offense and tired-looking defense that has given the pro game an undeserved bad name. Nonetheless, the Wolves managed to keep it close until the fourth quarter, mostly because of Sebastian Telfair’s aggressiveness at the point (6 of 11 from the floor, with nine assists). The big problem was on the defensive end where almost every player was terrible all game. The Wolves’ guards were constantly beaten off the dribble by the Bobcats’ Earl Boykins and Raymond Felton, particularly on pick-and-roll situations. Compounding the problem, the Wolves’ big men did not show aggressively and the rest of the team failed both to help quickly on the dribbler and to rotate to open shooters. The result was a constant stream of open looks and a good shooting night for Charlotte (51.4% from the floor and 10-20 from 3) and, most importantly, a huge advantage in free throws. The Bobcats made 23-29 while the Wolves only attempted nine, hitting five. By my math, that pretty much accounts for the entire margin of victory. Considering that there were almost no established stars on either team, the Wolves can’t really use the old excuse that their youth and anonymity was a prejudicing factor for the refs. They simply played much less aggressively than the other team, on both ends of the floor. As the Wolves began to shy away from driving to the basket, relying instead on contested jumpers, the Bobcats consistently exploited their opponents’ lackluster defense, getting to the rim and drawing fouls. The Wolves were close for much of the game, but at no point did they play like they deserved to win.

The Ballad of Little Nick

Part of the Wolves’ break-in-the action entertainment all year has been this weird, righteous spectacle involving various war veterans, rescue workers, victims of over-the-top violence or illness, and other assorted heroes. They are given tickets and jerseys; they are trotted out in front of the crowd to have their harrowing story raucously told by the PA announcer; they are given a terrifically pious standing ovation. My previous fave had been a sullen family of five who had been terrorized in their own home by unknown masked assailants for an evening. The Charlotte game, though, sported the most hyper-Dickensian, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition-y hero yet. “Little Nick” (that’s what the back of his jersey said) was a perfectly adorable, tow-headed eight-year-old who had suffered some horrendous illness which had caused him to undergo 15 surgeries, after which he (heroically) decided to have his legs amputated so he could, in the PA guy’s lilting tones “run and play with his friends.” Sob. Smile.

I’ll tell you, it is mesmerizing and terrifying and hilarious (you know the kind of panicky, vomitous hilarity I’m talking about—like how it feels to watch TV news pundits smirk and quip their way through topics that actually effect real people) to watch people willingly sacrifice their most sacred, personal stories to us insatiable, impatient professional spectators. To have those stories blithely processed—not on TV; right before your eyes—into a brief, forgettable commercial advertising the so charitable heart of a pro basketball team and its simply compassion-soaked fans. I’ll say it again: a commercial.

Posted by Benjamin Polk at March 6, 2008 7:57 PM | Comments (0)

 

Sure it's scary -- but why not Barry? Judd Spicer blogs the Twins

Filed under: MLB

Editor's Note: Today we introduce our Twins blogger for the season, Judd Spicer. Judd will be checking in with dispatches once or twice a week through Spring Training and once the season begins. In his first piece, he makes the case for Minnesota's pursuit of a fellow you may have heard of.

The Twins may need Barry Bonds to be winners in 2008. And while I wholly realize how stupid that sounds, what with the club honing their proverbial "Pluck," and "Fundamental Play," and "Small Market-ness," and "Sandlot" skills and tenets down in Fort Myers, the fact remains that our favorite club enters the 2008 season with more questions than answers, sans longtime team leaders/luminaries Torii Hunter and Johan Santana, and coming off a year in which they finished four games under-.500 even with those celebrated dudes.

Now I happen to believe that the addition of shortstop Adam Everett will shore up the left side of the infield and keep us sound defensively, just as I am of the view that the ascension of Scott Baker, the arrival of Livan Hernandez, and our omnipresent bullpen should have the the staff at/near our strong MLB standing of last year. Yet, the historical production (or lack thereof) of our offense, especially in the DH slot, begs the inquiry: Why not Barry?

I don't like Barry, and am by no means a Bonds apologist. I think he's certainly guilty of steroid use, and I'm anxious to see how his federal perjury charge plays out. But given that Barry's next court date isn't until March 21st (for which he's not set to personally appear), that it took close to 3 years for the government to to arrange said charge, and that his legal team would seemingly arrange for the wheels of justice to turn torpidly should their client find gainful employment during the season -- I'm thinking Barry will be available for the right team come Opening Day.

And that team could, and should be the Twins. Let's break this down further. Given Barry's advanced age (43), we can assume that no NL team will touch him. The guy isn’t playing outfield anymore. He's a DH. Furthermore, within the 14 clubs the make up the AL, I believe that we can eliminate all the following teams from hiring Barry, for the assigned reasons:

The Red Sox, Toronto, Detroit, Cleveland, L.A., Chicago, and Seattle are all set at the DH. The Yankees would have made the splash already if they were going to do so. Oakland is too cheap. And Tampa (yech) spilled the beans recently that they were flirting with the notion of Bonds, but let's face it: Would Bonds really toil with a club that has never accrued a winning season? That just leaves K.C., Baltimore (who had a solid platoon at the position in '07), and Texas. The Rangers actually seem an the only other potentially agreeable fit.

And then there's us. Dating back to 2002, the Twins haven't had more than 18 homers or 59 RBI from an individual in the DH slot, and both those numbers comes from back in '02, compliments of Big Poopy before he was Big Papi. Since then, our individual home run leading Designated Hitters have accrued the following totals: 9 in '03; 5 in '04; 14 in '05; 2 in '06; 4 in '07. It's also worthy to note from a historical perspective that our favorite club has only once ranked in the top 10 for MLB runs scored since the millennium, that occurring back in '03 when we ranked 10th. And lastly, rounding up to modern day, it should be noted that -- for what Spring Training numbers are worth -- the Twins have only two individual multi-hit performances through March 5, and rank 23rd in home runs.

From a cost standpoint, Bonds had a base salary of $15-plus million last year, almost exactly what the Twins cut in payroll for '08 -- although nobody would pay Barry that sum today.

Signing Barry Bonds in Minnesota would no doubt receive polar reviews and surely there would be opinions akin to the Wild's recent trade for barbaric Chris Simon. But if new GM Bill Smith wants a label other than "the fella that let popular, effective, albeit exorbitantly-priced veterans Hunter and Santana go elsewhere," signing Bonds could be his chance.

Should you, gentle reader, desire to contact Barry to lobby for his services, take a stroll to his web site, and simply ignore the message bearing "Send Barry a short note to show your support and congratulate him." If you'd like to write him, feel free to begin with an introductory sentence that goes something like, "Dear Muscle-Bound-Megalomaniacal-Cheating-Perjuring-Dick . . .."

He may not appreciate that, but, if nothing else, he'll know that we're forthright here in the Bread Basket. And honest. Hell, in the end, we really don’t care about being his buddy. We just want his bat.
-- Judd Spicer

Posted by Jeff Shaw at March 6, 2008 5:37 AM | Comments (10)

 

The Man styles and profiles out of the ring

Filed under: Wrestling

Ric Flair, the greatest pro wrestler of all time, is hanging 'em up. Charleston Post & Courier readers remember their favorite moments. As a lifelong fan, I've got a few of my own.

Match-wise, a few tributes have you pretty well covered. WWE's tribute is of course a bit slanted toward his later years, the ones spent with their company. But I'm really shocked that the Pro Wrestling Torch's "Best Flair Moments" doesn't include perhaps Flair's finest hour, his promo upon returning to Monday Nitro in 1998.

We'll get to that in a moment. To whet your appetite in the interim, there are some classic Flair catchphrase sounds here. And you can waste hours just going on YouTube and searching "Ric Flair promo" (I know, I did), but here are a couple of memorable performances from yesteryear during the days when wrestling was publicly more sports than sports entertainment.

Here Flair hypes a return showdown with Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. These matches are still considered among history's best:

I love this one because it shows Flair's skill in putting others over. Even as the undisputed top dog and staying in character as the limousine ridin', jet flyin' Nature Boy, he manages to make you think Billy Jack Haynes (Billy Jack Haynes!) belongs in the ring with him. This is something of a lost art in wrestling promos, but even when everyone was trying to do it, Flair was the best.

The greatest Flair moment of all time in my eyes is embedded and transcribed below. It brings together the finest elements of Flair's mic work -- emotion, interplay with the crowd, giving others the rub of his approval while maintaining the center of attention -- and incorporating the very real tension between Flair and then-WCW head Eric Bischoff. The old guard had bristled under Bischoff, and he'd undermined Flair's legendary Four Horsemen clique.

This promo is probably the greatest combination of wrestling as theater and reality ever, implemented by its finest practitioner. Since the illusion of wrestling-as-pure-reality had eroded by 1998, fans were smarter than ever to these internal dynamics. You can really tell in their reactions toward the end of the promo, when Flair begins to shoot on Bischoff in earnest.

[The transcript of the video pasted below comes from this show review from CRZ's Slash Wrestling site, which hosted the best, most complete recaps on the Web and brought me great joy for years. Watch it if you can for the full experience, read it if you can't.]

From CRZ:

When he hugs Arn the cheers continue and there can't be a dry eye in the house - there CAN'T. "Greenville, I give you the Champ." Another wave of cheering engulfs the house. Fifteen thousand people, and I guarantee you not one of them is sitting. I'm getting chills right now.

"My God...thank you...thank you very much...I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty - five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now, somebody told me that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be true that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff said was dead is alive and well? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, 'disband the Horsemen, they're dead.' Disband the Horsemen, me. You know what, I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! [Bischoff is coming out.] Bischoff, whatever you think...no, you're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power! You suck! You, I hate your guts. I hate your guts. You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, you are a no good son of a (mute). Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!"

Flair's coat is off but Bischoff has already walked back. Cut to black.

It will never get better than this. Never.

Jarring as it is to see Steve McMichael on the same stage with wrestling legends -- and as chilling, as disconcerting as it is to see Chris Benoit up there -- that's still accurate.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at March 3, 2008 3:36 PM | Comments (3)

 

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