A Man Named Brett

Let’s get one thing out of the way. Brett Favre is a hall of fame quarterback who still shows flashes of brilliance. I get it. But Favre’s off-field theatrics are anything but great.

Every year every football fans across the country have to put up with the saga in Wisconsin that occupies every corner of the NFL offseason. Is Brett Favre retiring or will he be back for one more year?

It’s as predictable as a Michael Bay movie. First, there are the rumors and interviews about his plans for the future followed by the eventual teary-eyed press conference when Brett gushes about the game and the fans and how much it all means to him… but he has given the team his all and he must move on. How will we live? Cue the highlight montages and the speculation about the Packers’ future prospects.

But wait. A story breaks about some unnamed source hinting that Brett made a terrible mistake. He does want to play after all. He’s coming back!

This year was somehow a little different. On Saturday, the team said it does not plan to release Favre and will go ahead with plans to start Aaron Rogers at QB. So much for the unconditional love.

So the speculation began. Where will Favre end up? Some media insiders suggested that one possible destination is here in Minnesota.

This is not about whether or not the Vikings would be better off with #4 behind center or whether this is a Green Bay conspiracy to keep their divisional rival at bay by giving up their 39 year old mistake-prone quarterback. If I’m sure of anything it’s that Green Bay and Wisconsin would rather give up forever cheese, beer and pork before giving up their man, their everything to the Vikes.

Besides, I think the Vikings are better off without the Favre distraction. But part of me is giddy with the idea simply to rub it in the face of that co-worker or family member everyone has from Wisconsin who would do anything for Brett. And I mean anything. The idea of Favre simply playing again for anyone other than the cheese is tantamount to gun control. For that reason alone let’s look at some of the positives of this sticky situation.

At the very least I think (and pray) Packers’ fans have gotten all of this schlonk out of their system. God help us all.

How many times has #4 done the impossible to break the hearts of a Packers' opponent? If he is traded out of the division or relegated to a backup role at Green Bay, scenarios like this will become just a bad memory.

But best of all might come September 8, 2008.

According to the Urban Dictionary:
Douchechill - a situation that is very awkward and uncomfortable for all parties. Also means someone who sucks at life, therefore making everyone around them uncomfortable.

The first Monday night game of the new season pits the Vikes against the Pack at Lambeau and was widely believed to become Brett Favre night. Presumably the Pack would retire the #4 and look to turn the page. Imagine the professional level douchechill - having nothing to do with the weather in northeast Wisconsin - if Brett Favre comes out in purple and gold? When will they retire the number? Will they wait a whole season? A whole new saga begins.

One more year indeed.