Minneapolis - Homosexual is world's fastest man (wind-aided)

RSS Feeds

National Features >

Village Voice
The Great Walls of Chinatown
With the exception of the electric rice cookers, this Bowery tenement could have come straight from the Nineteenth Century.
By Elizabeth Dwoskin
Houston Press
Getting Off
DUI attorney Tyler Flood wins 80 percent of his trials--even if his clients were 100 percent drunk.
By Mike Giglio
Miami New Times
Park or Die Tryin'
From the homeless parking mafia to the meter fairy, finding a spot in Miami has taken a turn toward the surreal.
By Gus Garcia-Roberts

Homosexual is world's fastest man (wind-aided)

Filed under: Olympics

A top-ranked American sprinter had a record-breaking day Sunday. Though his time was better than any previous 100-meter dash, it won't be recorded for posterity due to a tailwind aiding his progress.

That wasn't the day's biggest surprise. That honor went to a previously unknown runner. Instead of prominent racer Tyson Gay, the lightning-fast time was run by the previously unknown Tyson Homosexual.

At least that's who ran the race according to right-wing Web site Onenewsnow, run by Donald Wildmon's mouth-frothing American Family Association. The group has programmed its news feed to replace the term "gay" with the term "homosexual."

Evidently, the anti-gay group feels that the latter term is less flattering, for reasons we can only speculate upon. Whatever you call its practitioners, the AFA has never exactly been a fan of the love that dare not speak its name.

Maybe they're onto something here, though. Maybe homosexuals are just faster than plain ol' gays. The implications for training regimens are staggering.