"I'm just for getting the calls right. It's nothing against the umpires or trying to take away the human element of the game. I'm for getting the call right because there's so much at stake. Let's not have something happen at a very pivotal moment that changes the course of history for a particular franchise."

-Ken Williams, White Sox' GM, to MLB.com

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With the closure of the L.A. series proving less than angelic and the boys again yakking over the starboard side like dugees against the Mariners -- today seemed like a fine day to revisit some positivity and appoint our next member to the 2008 Minnesota Twins Cabinet. And with the Labor Day holiday approaching, I'll subscribe to the tenet of timing by filling the next cabinet chair with an individual who has displayed unlimited stamina, tireless work ethic and consistent health.

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Damn, Wild fans better start saving their scratch if they want to watch Derek Boogaard smash someone in the face at Xcel this season. The owners are increasing ticket prices on 12 select games this season. Calling the move “premium pricing.”

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In 124 games this season, the 36-year-old Raul Ibanez has hit .288 with 18 homers and 76 RBI in 483 at-bats. Which isn't bad. But in his other six games--against the Twins--the Mariners slugger is batting .538 with two homers and 12 RBI in 26 at-bats.

As the Twins kick off a three-game set in Seattle this evening, is it too much to ask not to give the guy anything to hit? Especially since he's batting in front of a dude, Adrian Beltre, who's hitting .246 on the season, and who has only two careers homers against active Twins pitchers in 87 at-bats, and an average of .253?

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"Tim Kurkjian" has taken time out of his busy national schedule to put together a special Jason Kubel segment, just for City Pages. To watch and listen what "he" has to "say" about the D.H.'s hot second-half, just press play:

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China. I love you. I love your great wall, your bubble building that seems like an indirect nod to LCD Soundsystem and your tiny, teenage athletes. I know some folks are bitter that a 14 year old who looks like 9 year old swiped away a medal from a Russian who is really a true blue Texan, but I forgive you. My love is real.

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She was one juke move ahead, two steps faster, and three tactical concepts beyond anyone else on the pitch. The 17-year-old knifed between two defenders, broke one way and froze the keeper. The ball hit the back of the net. I couldn't tell from my vantage point if she'd broken a sweat.

It was 1998. I was covering the Washington state youth soccer tournament. The team I followed would finish fourth, partially on the strength of the superlative goalie that opposing player had just made look like a garden gnome. "Damn," I said to the guy next to me, the grizzled old sportswriter with salt-and-pepper beard. He told me she was in the Olympic Development Program.

"Not surprised. That's some kind of striker."

He just laughed. "No. She's in the ODP as a goalie. She's even better at that."

It was a decade ago that I watched Hope Solo, the topic of Jim Souhan's column today, play soccer. Since then, she's made a lot of saves, made a lot of waves, and made a lot of people angry.

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1. Never talk smack to Jack Cust. While the pudgy Athletics’ outfielder is an easy target, he responds to hecklers by jacking line drives. So if there is ever the urge to yell, “Hey Cust! You got man boobs! Maaaaan boooooooooobs!” try your best to stay quiet.

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For regular readers of this space, you’ve likely noted by now that I keep a pretty positive vantage: the glass if half-full, the bill jar is half-empty, and smoking is always allowed. However, I’ve likely been remiss to this point in not calling out typically-reliable reliever Matty Guerrier for wholly stinking up the mound since the All-Star break.

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Before Paul Allen's voice can crest above the Minnesota Festival of Champions this Sunday at Canterbury, the boys of the Bread Basket begin their own vital homestretch of the season starting tonight at the Dome versus old friend Carlos Silva and Seattle. Can they rise to the occasion?

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