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    Sexual Healing

    For Florida's sole remaining sex surrogate, love is a many splintered thing.

    By Michael J. Mooney

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    Your Friendly Neighborhood War Profiteer

    It's not just giant companies cashing in on America's defense industry.

    By Jeff Severns Guntzel

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    Supersizing Sonic

    How a throwaway idea at the Barkley ad agency became the "Sonic Guys."

    By Justin Kendall

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    Temples of Tex-Mex

    A diner's guide to Texas's oldest Mexican restaurants.

    By Robb Walsh

City Pages - Balls! Sports Blog

 

MLB

Twins' Mid-Season Player Rater

Filed under: MLB

Gardy appeared on ESPN’s PTI program Tuesday afternoon and said that the Twins’ recent successes could largely be attributed to a self-policing policy that he discussed before the club played Milwaukee back in mid-June. In baseball, like in life, there truly is no substitute for self-accountability. It’s a philosophy for which much of the club’s success under both Gardy and Tom Kelly can and should be attributed. It’s also probably why the club has eschewed prima donna-types over the years as well.

Continue reading "Twins' Mid-Season Player Rater"

Posted by Judd Spicer at July 3, 2008 9:40 AM | Comments (4)

 

Second that Emotion: Lauding the Twins' win streak

Filed under: MLB

Eschewing numbers for the day as I'll be posting a chunky Twins Mid-Season Player Rater at mid-week, I'd be wholly remiss to not make mention of our recent winning ways. The statistics have been juicy as the club took games from four Cy Young starters in less than a week's time, and then highlighted the run with yesterday's precise Kevin "Brad Radke" Slowey shutout win over Ben "The best anonymous pitcher in baseball" Sheets.

Continue reading "Second that Emotion: Lauding the Twins' win streak"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 30, 2008 9:40 AM | Comments (9)

 

Pat Neshek and his Staedtler pen

Filed under: MLB

Sidearm_PatNeshek.jpg
Photo by peterrieke at Flickr.

Pat Neshek is off the mound and in rehab--of the physical variety of course. In his spare time, he's keeping his website updated. Plenty of ball players keep blogs, but Neshek's has a special charm. Mostly, its his unflagging love of baseball cards--of the autographed variety.

Continue reading "Pat Neshek and his Staedtler pen"

Posted by Jeff Severns Guntzel at June 30, 2008 9:32 AM | Comments (0)

 

Bottom's Up: Toasting the Tail of the Twins Lineup

Filed under: MLB

While The Onion was busy taking a pot-shot at Metrodome malaise last week, our boys were busy inflating the Dome with rare air. Back on June the 12th, the Twins were sagging at 5 ½ games behind Chicago, but after winning six straight and eight-of-nine, the club heads to San Diego with a deficit of just 1 ½.

Continue reading "Bottom's Up: Toasting the Tail of the Twins Lineup"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 24, 2008 4:10 PM | Comments (10)

 

Not Fine: Gardenhire's unjustified sanction

Filed under: MLB

There is nothing “fine” about the next check that Ron Gardenhire will be writing out to the MLB offices. On Tuesday, Gardy and Houston Manager Cecil Cooper were fined by the league for failure to adhere to the league’s new order to amp up the pace of play.

Continue reading "Not Fine: Gardenhire's unjustified sanction"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 20, 2008 8:36 AM | Comments (12)

 

Secretary of Defense: Michael Cuddyer

Filed under: MLB

This second entrant into the 2008 Minnesota Twins cabinet may have been more aptly timed a few weeks back when Obama captured the DFL nomination in St. Paul. Timing, however, can become a harrowing thing when pushing these appointments through, as they involve several late nights, poor candle-lighting, and the constant refilling of quills. Furthermore, our first appointment, Mr. Livan Hernandez as the Secretary of Agriculture, has been redefining the connotation of "meat" since obtaining his seat in this circle, as readily evidenced by his 0-2 record and 11.10 ERA in the last 28 days.

But we press on. And without additional pause, we hereby name our second appointee to our 2008 Twins Cabinet: Mr. Michael Cuddyer as the Secretary of Defense.

Continue reading "Secretary of Defense: Michael Cuddyer"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 17, 2008 12:15 PM | Comments (6)

 

Interview with Bruce Miller, principal architect for the new Twins Ballpark

Filed under: MLB

In recent days, I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with theprincipal architect for the new Twins Ballpark, Mr. Bruce Miller of HOK Sport. Mr. Miller has been with Kansas City-based HOK for 19 years, and the firm is responsible for the design of 14 new professional ballpark including Oriole Park in Baltimore, PNC Park in Pittsburgh, and AT&T Park in San Francisco. Here is a portion of our conversation:

Continue reading "Interview with Bruce Miller, principal architect for the new Twins Ballpark"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 12, 2008 3:37 PM | Comments (15)

 

The New York Times rates the best and worst Metrodome food

Filed under: MLB

If you like ballparks, or food, or just super-slick online interactive maps, there's something for you in the New York Times travel section today.

They've mapped out every MLB ballpark and rated the best and worst food. The winner for the Metrodome? The carved turkey sandwich from Minnesota Carvery. The loser? The sausage pizza from Papa John's. Here's what they had to say:

Continue reading "The New York Times rates the best and worst Metrodome food"

Posted by Jeff Severns Guntzel at June 12, 2008 2:53 PM | Comments (0)

 

Juicy Juice: Juan Rincon

Filed under: MLB

Over the weekend, between innings of getting our asses whooped in Chicago, I was reading a solid Time Magazine article entitled "How to Survive a Disaster" which felt a timely perusal in relation to the wealth of recent Twins' pitching -- specifically in regard to the plight of reliever Juan Rincon.

Continue reading "Juicy Juice: Juan Rincon"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 10, 2008 12:58 PM | Comments (10)

 

Joe Mauer: Return of the Mack

Filed under: MLB

Joe Mauer has returned. Gone is the 2007, injury-plagued Mauer that lost 54 points following his '06 batting title, and had his swing tinkered with more than Carlos Gomez' fingernails. Back is the Mauer we embrace: healthy, hitting .324, driving singles and doubles up the middle and through the left side with the best swing in baseball. And while Joe got off the shnide with his first home run earlier this week, critics of his power (or lack thereof) should finally come to the realization that Mauer, at his best, eschews frame for frame-of-mind. Yeah he's 6-foot-5, with evident brawn. But it's his mental muscles that express his strongest hitting tenets: being patient, being studious, and coupling a great eye with lightning-quick hands.

Continue reading "Joe Mauer: Return of the Mack"

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 5, 2008 7:51 AM | Comments (14)

 

Less Than Mint

Filed under: MLB

In recent years, one of the Twin Cities’ most dedicated and entertaining Twins Bloggers has been Mr. John Bonnes, also known as Twins Geek. For the past three years, I’ve had the pleasure to write for John’s print contribution to Minnesota baseball, Gameday, sold outside the Metrodome. Here is my most recent article, from the May issue:

Despite baseball’s resistance to change between the white lines, the game beyond the field spins and dances with all the celerity of a Pat Neshek slider. A few weeks back (and likely for the first time since a childhood pal, my brother, and myself, disbanded our makeshift “Card Shop” in my parent’s basement back in 1990) I walked into a local gas station and felt the sudden urge to pick up a pack of baseball cards. I held no discernible reason for doing so; rather it just seemed like something to add some flavor to a winter’s day.

Continue reading "Less Than Mint "

Posted by Judd Spicer at June 3, 2008 5:17 AM | Comments (8)

 

There goes the Boone

Filed under: MLB

Former all-star second baseman Bret Boone retired this week, ending a comeback bid and leaving Twins fans to wonder why he didn't call it quits after the 2004 season.

In 2005, the Twins wasted 53 at-bats on the man who had once been a runner-up in the MVP balloting. Not one of those plate appearances resulted in an extra-base hit.

Continue reading "There goes the Boone"

Posted by Jeff Shaw at May 30, 2008 12:32 PM | Comments (0)

 

Earn our Stripes: Twins vs. Yankees Series Preview

Filed under: MLB

A thorough stomping of the Yankees over the course of the next four days could, and should, provide the Twins some serious mojo heading into a very sanguine June. New York will visit Minnesota twice this year, but the timing of this first showdown offers the Twins a ripe opportunity to surge back into first place (the White Sox visit the East-leading Rays this weekend), to alert All Star voters that the Bread Basket has some deserved selections (Varitek should not be leading Mauer), and to curb the driving east coast bias that seemingly begins each addition of SportsCenter. Yesterday on said program, while watching analyst Steve Phillips dissect the Central Division, I listened as he ripped Detroit's pitching, weighed Cleveland's promise, and celebrated Chicago's progress. There was no mention of the Twins.

Continue reading "Earn our Stripes: Twins vs. Yankees Series Preview"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 30, 2008 9:02 AM | Comments (9)

 

Baseball Book Review: The End of Baseball, by Peter Schilling, Jr.

Filed under: MLB

Last season, this space within City Pages was worked by veteran writer Peter Schilling, Jr. His experience was not wasted. Rather -- I feel I can safely assume -- Schilling used pieces of his 2007 blogging season to heighten the lexicon, further the environment, polish the dialogue, and enliven the literary box scores of his debut novel, The End of Baseball, released in the spring of this year by Ivan R. Dee Publishing (Chicago, IL).

Continue reading "Baseball Book Review: The End of Baseball, by Peter Schilling, Jr."

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 28, 2008 5:08 AM | Comments (8)

 

Baseball 101: Brendan Harris and the Double Play

Filed under: MLB

The reputation long-attached to Twins 2B Brendan Harris seems accurate: Good hit, no catch. A veteran of six major league franchises in five seasons, Harris' numbers through nearly 50 ballgames as a Twin mirror the scouting reports that accompanied his arrival to Minnesota. A career .271 hitter with a lifetime on base percentage of .332, Harris is currently batting .262 with an on-base clip of .335.

Continue reading "Baseball 101: Brendan Harris and the Double Play"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 23, 2008 7:53 AM | Comments (8)

 

Houston: We have castoff

Filed under: MLB

Third baseman Mike Lamb will never be confused with Mike Schmidt. Hell, at present he more closely resembles Jack Nicholson's bumbling geriatric from About Schmidt ("Dear Ndugu, I can't hit for shit ...").

Continue reading "Houston: We have castoff "

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 21, 2008 5:44 AM | Comments (12)

 

Twin Cities Sports Media Medals

Filed under: MLB

After ten years as a writer, I've learned (among myriad other tenets) that there is no substitute for being a learned reader and researcher of other people's work. And the lay of the Minnesota sports landscape has no shortage of talent. Of the countless places I've been fortunate enough to live, visit, or vacation in my days -- I've long held the belief that my hometown of the Twin Cities provides a better arc of sports coverage than any other destination where I've picked up a sports page, watched a broadcast, listened to a ballgame, scrolled through local websites, or purchased a book penned by a native scribe.

Continue reading "Twin Cities Sports Media Medals"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 15, 2008 9:09 AM | Comments (18)

 

Secretary of Agriculture: Livan Hernandez

Filed under: MLB

This is likely not the first place you're visiting on the site for political news and notions. However, this is of course an election year. And given the formidable relationship between sports and culture, I'd be remiss not to include the occasional nod (or at least the illusion thereof) toward what may prove to be the most critical election year of our lifetimes.

Continue reading "Secretary of Agriculture: Livan Hernandez"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 12, 2008 5:32 AM | Comments (10)

 

Carlos Gomez Hits For The Cycle

Filed under: MLB

The Twins have been earning their way onto SportsCenter the last few days, in what is fast becoming a headline-heavy week for the club.

Continue reading "Carlos Gomez Hits For The Cycle"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 8, 2008 8:20 AM | Comments (8)

 

Floyd's Near No-No

Filed under: MLB

25 year-old Gavin Floyd, whom the Twins defeated just eight days ago, survived some early control issues and a 4th inning unearned run before deftly settling in for the night, and rolling through the hot Twins lineup with a series of well-spotted fastballs and knee-locking breaking pitches. He worked fast, seemingly ready to deliver fresh pitches mere seconds after receiving the ball back from catcher A.J. Pierzynski.

Continue reading "Floyd's Near No-No"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 6, 2008 9:36 PM | Comments (16)

 

Heating Up

Filed under: MLB

Fresh off of an impressive 5-0 homestand that saw the Twins take two from Chicago and three from Detroit, the boys now visit the White Sox for three on the South Side. The series begins what should be a most telling stretch of 20 games in 20 days against tough competition that includes visits from Boston and Toronto, before heading west to take on defending N.L. champ Colorado.

Continue reading "Heating Up"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 6, 2008 3:11 PM | Comments (5)

 

The Jo-Jo Equation, Part 2

Filed under: MLB

In one of my initial entries this season, I introduced the "Jo-Jo Equation," whereby I'll provide the periodic stat tracker of the factious trade that sent 2-time Cy Young winner Johan Santana to the Mets for four MLB-unprovens. One of the four, Carlos Gomez, is doing his damndest to make Twins fans forget Santana, both with his unhinged legs, and his occasionally-unhinged head. Gomez leads the AL in steals (11), is tied for the team-lead in hits (27), but also holds the dubious honor of leading the club in strikeouts (25 K's in 102 official at-bats, with just 2 walks).

Continue reading "The Jo-Jo Equation, Part 2"

Posted by Judd Spicer at May 4, 2008 7:04 PM | Comments (15)

 

The Demotion of Liriano

Filed under: MLB

There's no arguing with the numbers. Francisco Liriano's much-trumpeted return to the bigs ended with an unceremonious and ill-timed cymbal clash after he went just 2/3 of an inning and gave up 6 earned to the A's back on 4/24, bringing his 2008 totals to an unseemly 0-3, with an 11.32 ERA in three starts. Two days later, he was sent back to AAA Rochester.

Continue reading "The Demotion of Liriano"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 29, 2008 9:20 AM | Comments (13)

 

Now is the time! Now is the time?

Filed under: MLB

It is perennially at this juncture of the baseball season that I feel some anxiety over the Twins' performance. Of course, the campaign is merely 21 games young. However, with both the Wild and the Wolves now done for the year, with the NFL draft conducted this weekend, and with SportsCenter pumping the leviathan popularity of the NFL our way as early as July, I've developed an unrest that the Twins need to win now to truly magnetize their fan base, ride the wave of early-season buzz, and maintain sports page headlines.

Continue reading "Now is the time! Now is the time?"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 24, 2008 9:14 AM | Comments (11)

 

Air Fair? Rochester to Minneapolis

Filed under: MLB

The Twins have an unofficial rule regarding AAA call-ups from Rochester that essentially guarantees a position player will be in the starting lineup for the first game for which he is eligible. Which, I've long felt, is a good thing: A young fella doesn't have time to let the nerves fray, day-after-day, watching the starters, and waiting for his chance to play. You get up, you get in.

Continue reading "Air Fair? Rochester to Minneapolis"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 21, 2008 7:17 PM | Comments (15)

 

Baseball 101: Carlos Gomez and the bunt

Filed under: MLB

Fifteen games into our young season, new CF Carlos Gomez is looking most comfortable in his new environs, as evidenced by his sound batting average (.262), his confident body language manning center field (0 Errors; 1 Assist), and in oft-demonstrating his well-documented speed.

Continue reading "Baseball 101: Carlos Gomez and the bunt"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 18, 2008 5:56 AM | Comments (11)

 

The Return of Liriano

Filed under: MLB

Pre-game: The Kansas City forecast calls for 45 degrees, following a series of early-morning flurries. At approximately 1:10 p.m., Francisco Liriano will make his first MLB start in nearly twenty months following Tommy John surgery. In recent days, AAA Rochester manager Stan Cliburn, prior to learning that "The Franchise" would be called up to start, told reporters that he didn't feel Liriano was quite ready for the task, following the lefty's bulky 7.56 ERA in two minor league starts.

Continue reading "The Return of Liriano"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 13, 2008 8:54 AM | Comments (19)

 

Bill James: were Puckett and Gaetti juicers?

Filed under: MLB

Bill James is a legend among baseball analysts, an iconoclast unafraid to submit all ideas (including his own) to rigorous tests. He's also not afraid to skewer a sacred cow or two, which is good.

Mostly.

In his new book, The Bill James Gold Mine 2008, he slyly suggests that a few local heroes may have been powered by more than Wheaties.

Continue reading "Bill James: were Puckett and Gaetti juicers? "

Posted by Jeff Shaw at April 11, 2008 8:10 AM | Comments (4)

 

Wire from Acapulco

Filed under: MLB

It appears -- from this distance here in Mexico -- that our favorite ballclub is playing akin to my golf game earlier this morning. That is, all over the damn place. At 3-5, after taking back-to-back games from the Royals to ascend to .500, the boys took the inverse route and have dropped two straight.

Continue reading "Wire from Acapulco"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 9, 2008 12:20 PM | Comments (1)

 

LOL Naming Rights: Call it Paul Wellstone Park

Filed under: MLB

Internet domain registrations offer a window into potential Twins stadium names. The team has parked 48 Web domains in advance of inking what is certain to be a lucrative naming deal. Most of these will never get a sniff, but there are clear frontrunners.

The first name cited in that Business Journal story? Land o' Lakes Field. That's right, ye fluent speakers of Internet: LOL Field.

This will not stand. We must not let the green, green grass of home be sullied with the tendrils of l33t speak. However noble you find the art of butter, that company's name has been swamped in meaning by the International Network of Worldwide Computers.

Don't feel bad, though, Land o' Lakes people. My entire industry has been thrown into disarray by the Web. So it could be worse.

Still, we seek alternatives. Other potential names, a few even serious, after the jump.

Continue reading "LOL Naming Rights: Call it Paul Wellstone Park"

Posted by Jeff Shaw at April 7, 2008 4:41 PM | Comments (0)

 

Wade Boggs really likes Miller Lite

Filed under: MLB

If I could add anything to this story, I would. But I can't.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at April 5, 2008 7:10 PM | Comments (0)

 

Postcard from Below the Border

Filed under: MLB

Tough time to be away from the action on the homefront, although, as I type from the friendly confines of Acapulco, I`m earnestly reminded that the technology of today keeps us all intertwined. As the pesos tick away the minutes, I`m clawing away for information on our favorite club's onset of activity.

Continue reading "Postcard from Below the Border"

Posted by Judd Spicer at April 2, 2008 2:27 PM | Comments (3)

 

2008 MLB Season Preview

Filed under: MLB

It was with little (American) fanfare that Boston and Oakland brought in the MLB season last week in Japan.With painfully early start times in the states (3:00 a.m. on the West Coast), the earliest "Opening Day" date in human history (Do the MLB powers not know what the hell a March Madness bracket is?), and with players donning advertisements akin to NASCAR racers (although Tokyo is kind of in "Southern" Japan) there was little buzz about the Eastern Opener.

Continue reading "2008 MLB Season Preview"

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 31, 2008 5:00 AM | Comments (3)

 

(Chunky) Minnesota Twins 2008 Season Preview

Filed under: MLB

"The identity you think you are does not exist." -- Source and Date Unknown

And so it begins. But before we delve into what the answers are for this 2008 campaign, we must first recognize the questions, the most important of which is: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE? What are we? A small market club building toward the proverbial future (with a payroll nearing $70 million)? A retooled American League Sleeper just one season removed from a divisional title? Cheapskates? A team waiting in the weeds, preparing to pounce in 2010 upon the unveiling of our still-to-be named, uncovered (please note predicted temperature of this year's Opening Day) ballpark? Or perhaps, like so many other clubs: sanguine, hopeful, grinding, streaky, enigmatic, and perhaps, woefully average.

Continue reading "(Chunky) Minnesota Twins 2008 Season Preview"

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 26, 2008 6:47 AM | Comments (8)

 

The Jo-Jo Equation

Filed under: MLB

It's no mystery that Minnesotan sports fans are the strong possessors of the strange and unique tenet known kindly as Nostalgia. That may be putting it nicely.  Another way of noting this will be emblematic, in time, as evidenced by the great Sid Hartman's eventual gravestone which will surely include the fact that Rick Rickert signed a new two-year contract to hoop in Turkey, or some such place ... 

Continue reading "The Jo-Jo Equation"

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 19, 2008 10:17 AM | Comments (12)

 

It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that Spring

Filed under: MLB

Well, no hints nor flavor on the Bonds front as of yet (from any club -- Japan included), although our boys have begun to find an early collective rhythm through a dozen spring training games. Our record stands at both an A.L., and Grapefruit League-best 8-4 (from a % standpoint), and key pieces of the proverbial puzzle have shown early signs of success.

Continue reading "It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that Spring"

Posted by Judd Spicer at March 11, 2008 1:18 PM | Comments (13)

 

Sure it's scary -- but why not Barry? Judd Spicer blogs the Twins

Filed under: MLB

Editor's Note: Today we introduce our Twins blogger for the season, Judd Spicer. Judd will be checking in with dispatches once or twice a week through Spring Training and once the season begins. In his first piece, he makes the case for Minnesota's pursuit of a fellow you may have heard of.

The Twins may need Barry Bonds to be winners in 2008. And while I wholly realize how stupid that sounds, what with the club honing their proverbial "Pluck," and "Fundamental Play," and "Small Market-ness," and "Sandlot" skills and tenets down in Fort Myers, the fact remains that our favorite club enters the 2008 season with more questions than answers, sans longtime team leaders/luminaries Torii Hunter and Johan Santana, and coming off a year in which they finished four games under-.500 even with those celebrated dudes.

Now I happen to believe that the addition of shortstop Adam Everett will shore up the left side of the infield and keep us sound defensively, just as I am of the view that the ascension of Scott Baker, the arrival of Livan Hernandez, and our omnipresent bullpen should have the the staff at/near our strong MLB standing of last year. Yet, the historical production (or lack thereof) of our offense, especially in the DH slot, begs the inquiry: Why not Barry?

Continue reading "Sure it's scary -- but why not Barry? Judd Spicer blogs the Twins"

Posted by Jeff Shaw at March 6, 2008 5:37 AM | Comments (10)

 

You're Not Fully Clean!

Filed under: MLB

I have always believed Roger Clemens' declaration that he has never used steroids.

It's a matter of trust, and having confidence in people with a record of veracity. Clemens has a long record of expressing firm convictions.

Continue reading "You're Not Fully Clean!"

Posted by Jeff Shaw at January 7, 2008 5:19 PM | Comments (0)

 

Bert Blyleven is absolutely a Hall of Famer

Filed under: MLB

Okay, I don't mean for this to become a Hot Stove baseball blog, and I originally intended to do an analysis of the Delmon Young-Matt Garza trade today, but first I want to point you to today's post
on Baseball Reference's Stat of the Day blog. It's about Bert Blyleven's Hall of Fame candidacy. B-R posts Blyleven's stat lines against Hall of Fame hitters, and while that's not a case in and of itself for why the former Twin ought to be enshrined himself, I think you'll find the results intriguing.

If you want to read what convinced me of the statement I make in the subject line of this post, my old friend Rich Lederer has been on something of a personal crusade on Blyleven's behalf over the years, and I just think his arguments are much stronger than the opposing side's.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 29, 2007 11:57 AM | Comments (1)

 

Pi Press: Want Budding Stars? Offer to Trade 'em a Free Agent

Filed under: MLB

The wise baseball analyst is always looking to enhance long-term value by trading expensive established players for young, inexpensive stars. The Pio Press' Bob Sansevere has ascertained an innovative way for maximizing value in this scenario: trading players your team doesn't have the rights to.

In his latest piece, the writer outlines his ideal trade scenario:


If I'm the Twins' general manager, here's what I do. (And I'd do it under duress because I'd be working for a cheapskate owner.) I get on the horn with Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein and say, "You want Johan Santana, right?"

Epstein likely will say, "Right."

Then I say, "Tell you what. I'll trade you Santana and Carlos Silva and Joe Nathan."

This is where Sansevere's genius comes in. Silva is a free agent. But Epstein won't find that out until after he's accepted the trade! "Ha," we'll say! "Thanks for your young stars, sucker!" It's foolproof, the ultimate money for nothing.

See, perception is reality. Like staking a flag into an island when you don't see anyone else there, claiming rights to trade a free agent is the ultimate economic comparative advantage for a team. Is a free agent wearing a uniform? I didn't think so. That's why they call them "free" agents; they're free to be claimed.

Like Galileo, Sansevere has come under some criticism for this insight, but he is merely ahead of his time. Indeed, his main problem was not going far enough. What if this "trade-theRed-Sox-a-free-agent" strategy had been developed while Alex Rodriguez was still on the market? The Twins could have traded the Sox the future Hall of Famer from right out from under the Yankees.

Shortsighted bloggers should take a lesson from this type of forward-thinking analysis. In future years we may refer to Silva as Opposite Day Curt Flood.

The Sansevere Theorem is a stunning step forward in the science of trade equity. It's the baseball equivalent of John Marshall's legal declaration that Indian tribes west of the Mississippi were nevertheless domestic of and dependent upon the United States -- even though they were as yet unknown to settlers. It takes a bold general manager to simply assert that all free agents are assets your team has a right to. Perhaps the next step is to find a way to claim rights to all potential free agents.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. There is still time to make up for missing out on trading A-Rod. After dealing free agent Silva away to the Sox, the Twins should then flip Kent Hrbek and Kirby Puckett to the Yankees for Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod would fill the Twins' third base hole and Puckett, being dead, would not take up valuable payroll space. This would please owner Carl Pohlad and free us up to pursue another free agent.

Except we never need to pursue free agents again: just trade them. See the beauty of this?

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 28, 2007 7:06 PM | Comments (0)

 

Hot Stove: Why it's Good That the Twins Didn't Re-Sign Torii Hunter

Filed under: MLB

(Here's my clever, non-ironic subtitle: and why it'll be even better when they don't re-sign Carlos Silva. Yes, I'm serious, and we'll talk about Silva in detail when he signs).

Few expected Torii Hunter to be back in a Twins uniform next season, so the fact that he signed with the Angels for five years and scads of money that the A.P. reports to be $90 million is no surprise. You'll likely still hear friends, neighbors and pundits bemoaning the departure of the star center fielder.

You shouldn't listen.

After you've eaten your last slice of pie and reflected on all you have to be thankful for, you should add this to the list -- that the Twins aren't going to pay Hunter a premium based on what he did in years past. This team needs to look hard at what players are likely to do in the future, and there's a miniscule chance that Hunter is performing up to this contract by year three -- let alone the final two years, when he'll be 36 and 37 years old, respectively.

David Cameron is one of the sharpest baseball minds I know, and he listed Hunter as the most dangerous landmine in the free agent market this month. Carlos Silva was number two. I'll summarize Dave's argument thusly: it doesn't make sense to commit tons of cash to a player who is getting older, and though talented, isn't as stellar as his name value indicates.

In the short term, it'll sting to lose Hunter's offensive punch, especially given the Judy-without-the-Punch offense the Twins are running out there these days. In the long run, though, this is the right move. Especially when your team has chosen not to be a big-budget player, avoiding commitment to players through their decline years is essential. It's frustrating to watch established players leave, and I'm a big Hunter fan. But it makes more sense to catch players on their way up.

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 22, 2007 5:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Buy Lo': Why the Twins Should Pursue Jose Lopez

Filed under: MLB

The hometown nine has a lot of work to do and decisions to make this offseason. With so many holes to fill, minor moves can make a difference, especially low-risk, high-reward moves that can make way for a bigger splash later. One such move: try to acquire young, disappointing infielder Jose Lopez from the Mariners. Here are five reasons this ought to happen.

1. The Twins can likely get Lopez for cheap. His stock with the M's had soured even before last year's disastrous season. Former manager Mike Hargrove tried to shoehorn Lopez into being a banjo hitter instead of letting the powerful young player swing away. The Mariners and their fans are fed up with Lopez, and not for no reason: he was brutal last year. Some years you're the windshield, some years you're the bug, and last year Lopez went splat.

But that brings us to the second reason this is a good idea.

Continue reading "Buy Lo': Why the Twins Should Pursue Jose Lopez"

Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 12, 2007 1:00 PM | Comments (0)

 

A little birdie says someone was really desperate to fill column space

Filed under: MLB

Pi Press gossip columnist Charley Walters offered up this nugget in today's paper:

The Twins have no plans to pursue free agents Alex Rodriguez, who is seeking $30 million a season, or Barry Bonds.


In other breaking news, word is loose that Barbaro plans to sit out this year's Kentucky Derby.

Posted by Paul Demko at October 31, 2007 1:49 PM | Comments (0)

 

Phil Rizzuto and the Jumpin' Bunt

Filed under: MLB

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Former Yankees' shortstop and radio announcer Phil Rizzuto died today at age 89. The New York Times has a nice write up of the man's life, which included a description of a startling play that the fireplug made in 1951.

Continue reading "Phil Rizzuto and the Jumpin' Bunt"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 14, 2007 1:56 PM | Comments (0)

 

End of the Fat Man?

Filed under: MLB

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Sorry, but I just can't bring myself to write about the yo-yo known as the Minnesota Twins, or throw more words into the hurricane already covering Barry Bonds. No, what caught my eye instead was this story, which barely registered at ESPN and MLB.com: David Wells, one of seventeen men to have pitched a perfect game (against the Twins, mind you), was released yesterday by the San Diego Padres. His career appears over and done with.

Continue reading "End of the Fat Man?"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 8, 2007 9:45 PM | Comments (1)

 

One Man's Nightmare; Most Men's Dream

Filed under: MLB

Poor Bud Selig. Poor Tom Goldman. Goldman is a reporter with National Public Radio, and Selig, well, he's the Commissioner of the corporation known as Major League Baseball. This morning, on NPR's Weekend Edition, Goldman gave us a story about how Barry Bonds has been stuck on 754 home runs and the effect this has on the Commissioner and the reporters who follow this circus. Apparently, Bud Selig is growing surly from having to spend so much time in the pursuit. Goldman's report featured audio coverage of Selig cursing out a reporter who inquired whether the commissioner was going to continue to follow Bonds if the slugger failed to break the record this weekend. Goldman also gave us the excruciating detail of his having to watch Bonds--that Barry has but three to four at-bats a game, and those brief moments make up the gist of Goldman's day. If Bonds fails, well, then he has to pull a story out of the turnip that is a Giants game.

Continue reading "One Man's Nightmare; Most Men's Dream"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 4, 2007 10:16 AM | Comments (1)

 

Jesus Christ, Not Again...

Filed under: MLB

If there's one thing to really worry this baseball fan, it's not so much that the Twins will or won't make it to the postseason in 2007 or that Barry Bonds is going to hit his 756th home run. The former would be awesome, the latter is inevitable, but it's another scenario that give me the fidgets. What's worse is the fact that, after tonight, the New York Fucking Yankees are now only 3 games out of the wild card spot.

Continue reading "Jesus Christ, Not Again..."

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 31, 2007 10:10 PM | Comments (0)

 

Celebrating Strangers

Filed under: MLB

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During today's exciting 4-1 Twins victory over the Indians, Burt Blyleven asked cohort Dick Bremer his opinion about Barry Bonds' breaking Hank Aaron's home-run record. "I... uh, well, um... I'm saddened," Dick stammered. When pressed (and Burt was clearly relishing this opportunity for argument), Bremer finally said that it's a shame that Bonds was besting a man who went about his business with "dignity, honor and humility." And that, my friends, is exactly what's wrong with this debate.

Continue reading "Celebrating Strangers"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 29, 2007 1:44 PM | Comments (2)

 

American Freakshow

Filed under: MLB

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I haven't watched the All-Star game in years and years. I last caught the thing the year Selig declared the game a tie, and then the next season made it the determinant for home field advantage in the Fall Classic, something I'm sure Tampa Bay's Carl Crawford cares buckets about. Tonight's 5-4 American League victory, the tenth in a row (not counting the one that "didn't count") did nothing to lessen my conflicted feelings about the All-Star game, and baseball in general. Tonight, I couldn't help but notice that this beautiful game of ours is plagued with some bizarre and unhealthy personalities, who literally referred to themselves tonight as distant and untouchable. And they meant that as a compliment.

Continue reading "American Freakshow"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 10, 2007 9:27 PM | Comments (6)

 

All the Young Dudes

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With garbage blowing across the infield and seagulls moseying between first and home, the Detroit Tigers Justin Verlander threw a no-hitter against the Milwaukee Brewers. It was the first no-no for the Bengals since Jack Morris tossed one in their World Championship season of 1984. A career-high twelve strikeouts for the lad, who is racing through his second season as if ignorant of something called the sophomore jinx.

Continue reading "All the Young Dudes"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 12, 2007 10:19 PM | Comments (0)

 

Joys of the Noble Sport

Filed under: MLB

Chuck Terhark has written a nice piece for the CP proper, detailing the joys of Twins baseball "hidden between the lines" of the game. He means, of course, the little things that make this lovely game such a pleasure no matter where your team stands in the standings.

Continue reading "Joys of the Noble Sport"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 6, 2007 7:44 AM | Comments (5)

 

Angels With Dirty Faces

Filed under: MLB

I hate the Los Angeles, California Angels of Anaheim. If you've never visited Angel Stadium, it sits surrounded by highways and tract homes, in the faceless suburb of Anaheim. Anaheim, of course, was royally screwed over something as small as a name: The Angels Baseball Corporation agreed to call themselves "The Anaheim Angels" in exchange for over $100 million of ballpark upgrades. This would, in the mind of the city fathers, no doubt good men and women who have the sprinkler systems on their lawns timed perfectly, improve the image of the city, and put Anaheim on the map.

Continue reading "Angels With Dirty Faces"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 5, 2007 7:55 AM | Comments (13)

 

Thoughts On Bonds

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"Why do I have to be a model for your kid? You be a model for your kid." --Bob Gibson

Though you wouldn't catch me on one of those idiotic rafts in 'McCovey Cove', if I were living in the San Francisco Bay Area and cared about baseball as I do, I would be there to watch Mr. Barry Bonds plow his way toward Hank Aaron's home run record.

Continue reading "Thoughts On Bonds"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 27, 2007 8:50 AM | Comments (1)

 

Rooting for U. S. Steel

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"Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U. S. Steel." attributed to Bill Veeck, Bennett Cerf, Jimmy Cannon, someone named Jimmy Little (probably a figment of Toots Shor's imagination), Red Smith, and Joe E. Lewis, among many others.


Oh, I'm certain that it's way, way to early to stick a fork in these New York Yankees, but I'm going to anyway. As of this writing, the Yanks are 8.5 games behind the Red Sox, and 4.5 games out of the Wild Card race (behind Cleveland). These are unquestionably surmountable numbers, both for the Wild Card and the Eastern Division title. The problem is, this is no longer the near-cakewalk it used to be, when the Central and West divisions were weak and the Yankees were sole possessors of first. Not only do the Yanks have to contend with the Tigers and Indians fighting for first and wild card, but the Twins and White Sox might get better (I'm guessing the Pale Hose will get much better offensively--the Twins, I don't know), and the Red Sox have a team that seems able to plow through September without falling apart (like last year). Not to mention the fact that the Yanks are getting bit with some bad luck, and their solutions seem reckless at best. Too much is riding on the back of Roger Clemens, the guy whom no one dares accuse of steroid use, and who is 44 years old and getting nearly that many millions of dollars.

All of this spells catastrophe on par with the forthcoming Evan Almighty.

Continue reading "Rooting for U. S. Steel"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 15, 2007 5:20 PM | Comments (1)

 

Mmmm... Bartolo...

Filed under: MLB

Best sports headline ever.

I really don't know what else to say. (via Marta)

Posted by Chuck Terhark at May 4, 2007 12:48 AM | Comments (1)

 

If You Can Change Baseball, You Can Change America

Filed under: MLB

As you ought to know by now, today, April 15, marks the sixtieth anniversary of Jackie Robinson's debut with the Brooklyn Dodgers, and the end of the color barrier in Major League Baseball. To mark this stirring occasion, I had the good fortune to speak with Lester Rodney yesterday by phone. Rodney, for the many of you not in the know, is the former sportswriter with New York's Daily Worker. The Daily Worker was the mouthpiece of the Communist Party of America and Rodney is one of the nearly-forgotten principals involved in the integration of baseball. At age 85, Rodney is one of the last living men to have witnessed the debut from the press box (the AP's Jim Becker is the other survivor). In the past few years, he's been in the news quite a bit, finally having his due in the form of a biography (Press Box Red) and being inducted into the Baseball Reliquary's Shrine of the Eternals.

Continue reading "If You Can Change Baseball, You Can Change America"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 15, 2007 10:39 AM | Comments (3)

 

Beautiful Silva, Enemy Piranhas & Other Random Observations

Filed under: MLB

Well, Carlos Silva certainly shut me up yesterday. Here's his line: five full innings, five hits, one run, walk, strikeout. He wasn't brilliant or dominant and started off looking like a meltdown waiting to happen--the first three batters actually took Carlos to full counts and the second, Darin Erstad, actually saw ten pitches before poking the eleventh through the middle (and he would later score that inning). But give Silva this: he calmed down and did his job, working through five innings before turning the gig over to our normally awesome bullpen in the Twins 3-0 loss.

Continue reading "Beautiful Silva, Enemy Piranhas & Other Random Observations"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 8, 2007 9:35 AM | Comments (0)

 

No love for Oliva

Filed under: MLB

Once again, the National Baseball Hall of Fame's Veterans Committee has banded together and voted to disallow anyone else from joining their club. Among those snubbed were two huge figures in Twins history: Tony Oliva and Jim Kaat.

Continue reading "No love for Oliva"

Posted by Chuck Terhark at February 27, 2007 5:17 PM | Comments (1)

 

Tribute to Negro League legend Buck O'Neil

Filed under: MLB

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Star first baseman and manager in the Negro leagues, Buck O'Neil, died last Friday of congestive heart failure in Kansas City, Missouri. John Jordan O'Neil Jr., the grandson of a slave, was born in 1911 in Carrabelle, Florida, and was playing semipro baseball by age 12. In 1938, following semi-professional "barnstorming" experiences with the Miami Giants, New York Tigers, Shreveport Acme Giants, and Zulu Cannibal Giants, O'Neil joined the Kansas City Monarchs of the Negro American League. Read the rest of the story at Corpus Obscura.

Posted by Corey Anderson at October 9, 2006 3:23 PM | Comments (0)

 

In the shadow of Mighty Joe

Filed under: MLB

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In the end, Francisco Liriano did not win the fan balloting for the last roster spot on the AL All-Star Team--the White Sox cinched it with a can't-miss "Punch AJ" promotion on behalf of their widely loathed catcher--but at least baseball pundits near and far bitched about Liriano's exclusion. They pretty much ignored Justin Morneau's case for making the squad.


Morneau pulls into the All-Star break with 23 HR and 73 RBI--slightly more than the man players elected as a sub in front of him, the White Sox's Paul Konerko (21 HR, 67 RBI), who has had a season nearly identical to Morneau's in most respects. Though Morneau is playing a distant second fiddle to hometown hero Joe Mauer in the press, his breakout is nearly as stunning. Here's where Morneau ranks among his 1B peers and Major League hitters at large at the break:

HR: 7th in the AL; 14th (tied) in the majors; 5th among ML 1B

RBI: 4th in the AL; 8th in the majors; 3rd among ML 1B

SLG PCT (.587): 11th among all ML hitters; 4th among ML 1B

ON-BASE PLUS SLG PCT (.939): 21st among all ML hitters; 3rd among AL 1B; 7th among ML 1B



How's he made such a dramatic difference from 2005, when he hit 22 HR in 490 at-bats and posted a .742 OPS? The answer looks to be timing and confidence. Morneau hasn't really adjusted his approach at the plate--comparing this year to last, he still sports that upper-cut swing, still looks at about 3.5 pitches per at-bat, still strikes out once every 5-6 plate appearances and walks once in every 13. But those upper-cuts are connecting a lot more often: His groundball ratio has gone down dramatically, which is always good news for a power hitter, and his HR rate has nearly doubled (one longball every 22 AB in 2005, one every 12 AB this year).

Which is a long way of saying Morneau will play in a few All-Star games before he's through.

Posted by Steve Perry at July 9, 2006 4:34 PM | Comments (2)

 

What's going on in Detroit?

Filed under: MLB

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Tigers first baseman Chris Shelton, a 25-year-old from Salt Lake City, hit his major league-leading ninth homerun today off Cleveland pitcher Paul Byrd. Shelton is now on pace to hit 108 homers this year, and he's hitting a ridiculous .479. Oh yeah, and he's also on my fantasy team (suckaz!).

Posted by Chuck Terhark at April 17, 2006 1:08 PM | Comments (0)

 

The 9-hole

Filed under: MLB

Anyone wondering why the Cleveland Indians are going to blow up this year should note that their ninth batter--Casey Blake--just hit a grand slam against Kyle Lohse. Meanwhile, the Twins' nine-man is Juan Castro. That just about sums it up.

Posted by Chuck Terhark at April 7, 2006 3:56 PM | Comments (1)

 

Reg-gie! Reg-gie! Come on ... everybody! Reg-gie ...

Filed under: MLB

Reg-gie, Reg- ... er, never mind ...

The official Twins statement on the not-that-bigga news about Mr. October's relentless pursuit of the local nine (notice the semantics of still trying to wheedle a stadium deal):

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Friday, November 4, 2005

TWINS STATEMENT REGARDING REGGIE JACKSON

The Minnesota Twins would like to take this opportunity to confirm that the team did recently receive an unsolicited phone call from Reggie Jackson regarding his interest in acquiring a Major League Baseball team. During the phone conversation Mr. Jackson recounted his four previous efforts to finalize such a transaction and went on to inquire about availability of the Twins franchise. Mr. Jackson was told the Twins are not for sale at this time and that the Twins organization was currently 100 percent focused on working to ensure approval of the Twins-Hennepin County ballpark plan.

While not surprising considering the ongoing uncertainty surrounding the franchise's future, the Twins view the publicity surrounding Mr. Jackson's inquiry as unfortunate. To that end, the Pohlad family and Twins organization want to stress that this story was in no way initiated by the baseball team.

- twinsbaseball.com -

And, as my buddy Dave, a Twins fan now living in LA, e-mails:

He's no Tom Clancy. He's not even a Reggie Fowler. He's a Reggie Jackson, Mr. October. Also a well-known spokesman for the Oversized Eyeglass Association. And he never gave up on the moustache as a classy accessory to every wardrobe and occasion.

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