China. I love you. I love your great wall, your bubble building that seems like an indirect nod to LCD Soundsystem and your tiny, teenage athletes. I know some folks are bitter that a 14 year old who looks like 9 year old swiped away a medal from a Russian who is really a true blue Texan, but I forgive you. My love is real.

A top-ranked American sprinter had a record-breaking day Sunday. Though his time was better than any previous 100-meter dash, it won't be recorded for posterity due to a tailwind aiding his progress.

That wasn't the day's biggest surprise. That honor went to a previously unknown runner. Instead of prominent racer Tyson Gay, the lightning-fast time was run by the previously unknown Tyson Homosexual.

...and tries to replace it with squash. Squash! The argument for the World Baseball Classic just keeps getting stronger.