Twins

Pat Neshek: The vegan reliever

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Pat Neshek, the baseball card trading, heavy metal loving Twins reliever is profiled in an ESPN web feature about athletes who don't eat meat. Turns out Neshek is a vegan (since January) and a juicing fanatic (the fruit and vegetable kind). Here's some of what the ESPN piece has to say:

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Posted by Jeff Severns Guntzel at June 16, 2008 9:59 PM | Comments (3)

 

Froggy Doo

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This genius bit is from today's Charley Walters column:

Ex-Twins pitcher Scott Erickson and his wife, Lisa Guerrero, will be in town this weekend to promote a movie they have produced, "A Plumm Summer," about a TV puppet named Froggy Doo who is "frog-napped" instead of kidnapped.

Apparently this is a real movie. Henry Winkler's in it. No word on whether Erickson's old pal Sidney Ponson is part of the production

Posted by Paul Demko at April 8, 2008 5:10 AM | Comments (0)

 

So Long, Santana

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USA Today and ESPN are reporting that the Twins have agreed to trade two-time Cy Young award winner Johan Santana to the New York Mets.

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Posted by Ben Palosaari at January 29, 2008 4:20 PM | Comments (3)

 

In January, a Dome For Baseball Makes Good Sense

Filed under: Twins

Tucked neatly inside a busy weekend theater schedule for me was a visit to the upended doggy bowl we affectionately call the Metrodome (or just Metrodome, if you work at KFAN) for TwinsFest 2008. Luckily, a visit to the Twins' web site the night before warned me about what to expect.

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Posted by Quinton Skinner at January 28, 2008 10:26 AM | Comments (3)

 

Twins acquire Craig Monroe; occasional wailing breaks through the yawns

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I heard a bad joke last night that makes me think of yesterday afternoon's acquisition of Craig Monroe by the Twins -- which, to be fair, is actually itself a bad joke.

The joke goes like this. A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into a bar. Shortly thereafter, they see that there is a fire in the wastebasket. While the other patrons run out, the physicist says, "We have to cool down the materials so that their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature; then the fire will go out!" The chemist says, "No! Let's cut off the supply of oxygen; that way, the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants!"

Then they notice that the statistician is moving around the bar, starting other fires. "What are you doing?" they cry. Says the statistician: "Trying to get an adequate sample size."

This is not, you will note, funny. But neither is the trade, which makes me also want to start fires. And the joke holds a clue as to why I'm reaching for matches.

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Posted by Jeff Shaw at November 14, 2007 7:03 AM | Comments (0)

 

Swept, and That's All

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Things didn't go so well this afternoon. Before an announced crowd of almost 14,000 (though any observer could see that there were fewer cranks than that), the Twins were swept by the Cleveland Indians, losing 6-2. The Tribe has won 16 of their last 20, boasts a lineup that is dangerous from top to bottom, and have sent a message to the Central in the clearest possible terms: this year's division title goes through them. To the rest of the league: see you in October.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at September 5, 2007 3:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

When the Present's This Ugly, Might As Well Look to the Future...

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It was certainly a struggle today. C. C. Sabathia ripped through the Twins line-up, scattering six moribund hits over his eight innings... though four of those were from one player. Although Johan Santana has certainly seen better days, giving up four runs in today's 5-0 loss, the Indians didn't have a big inning, not once. In fact, they gathered their nine hits one inning at a time. A walk here, a key hit there, a home run one inning (Santana's 30th), and that was all she wrote. The 13th shutout against the Twins, the league record. Sigh.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at September 3, 2007 3:44 PM | Comments (0)

 

The Shreveport Slinger

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Wow. I mean, like wow! Scott Baker came within three outs of throwing a perfect game last evening against the Kansas City Royals. Moseying to the mound in the ninth, the kid showed nothing that resembled a man with a belly full of butterflies. Right away, he walked a guy and gave up a hit, the perfect game and no-no was over, but it didn't matter. This kid is on fire, and the future of the Twins pitching staff seems assured. This is what Minnesota baseball in September is about this year: gazing into the crystal ball and liking what you see.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at September 1, 2007 11:21 AM | Comments (0)

 

Let's All Go Ask Some Tough Questions Tonight

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As I wrote in my City Pages A-List entry, tonight is the official groundbreaking of the forthcoming Twins Stadium. Needless to say, it's only going to remain "Twins Stadium" until old Carl gets his many millions from whatever corporation showers him and his minions with more cash. Target Field? General Mills Stadium? Taxpayer Park?

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 30, 2007 9:53 AM | Comments (0)

 

Can't We Just Agree That The Season's Over?

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Look: it doesn't matter that the Twins came into Cleveland with a five game win streak under their belts. If there was momentum, the Indians didn't feel it. After all, four of those victories were against an Orioles team that is nearly as woeful at the plate as the Twins, but also lacks our depth in the arms department. As if to really drive the point home that we are floundering, Cleveland bludgeoned the Twins 8-3, turned a triple play (a wonderful thing), while across Lake Erie and up the Detroit River the Tigers thumped the suddenly vulnerable Yanks 16-0.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 28, 2007 9:09 AM | Comments (0)

 

Is Winning Losing (Part II)?

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Well, the Twins certainly asserted themselves mightily today, beating the Seattle M's 8-4 after a 7-run first inning. The initial frame included a grand slam by one Michael Cuddyer. The game got so out of hand that Dan Gladden and Jack Morris started yakking about anything and everything (though they do this in tight games as well). In the gabfest Gladden mused about young players coming up and going down to Rochester, and stated that Terry Ryan sometimes agonizes over calling up the better prospects because it might hurt the farm clubs during a tight pennant race. Which only makes this scribe say: Huh?

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 22, 2007 3:24 PM | Comments (0)

 

Is Winning Losing?

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Since there is virtually nothing to be written about last night's 9-4 bludgeoning at the hands of the Seattle Mariners, let's ponder instead Patrick Reusse's column of August 19. Mr. Reusse looks to be examining, and perhaps explaining, the challenges of being Terry Ryan, the Twins highly regarded GM. Reusse writes: "Baseball is the only sport in this country where the triumph is in the pursuit as much as in the ultimate result." Although there's some truth to that, it's depressing when that appears to be your team's core philosophy.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 21, 2007 1:32 PM | Comments (0)

 

Tightrope Walking

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Johan Santana broke the all-time Twins single-game strikeout record, fanning seventeen Rangers. As usual, a great pitching performance had to be a tightrope walk over rusty razor blades, broken glass, and spikes, since the offensive half only scored a single run.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 19, 2007 4:12 PM | Comments (0)

 

We Stink Awesomely

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See, "Two-i" Torii Hunter barked at the Twins recently. "You stink," he told everyone in the clubhouse, an oddly mild thing to say to a bunch of grown men. I don't know if Minnesota Parent had a beat writer in attendance, but that's what Torii said. Today, after he pretty much won the game all by himself, he added, "We stink... though awesomely."

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 15, 2007 8:43 PM | Comments (0)

 

Doom and Gloom

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The Twins lost late last night 4-3 in the ninth inning, when Seattle's Richie Sexson smashed a homer off Matt Guerrier. This drops us to 1-6 on this road trip, and is beginning to make me think that perhaps our intrepid GM Terry Ryan is a genius. Perhaps he alone knew that if he paid the big bucks for a slugger, why it'd be like luring a saber-toothed tiger into a tar pit. One bat wasn't going to jump-start this sorry group.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 14, 2007 9:41 AM | Comments (0)

 

Fireworks! (Sparklers, whatever...)

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With bats ablaze, the Minnesota Twins erupted for two whole runs today in Anaheim Stadium, losing a close game 6-2. As if awoken from a deep, deep, deep, deep slumber, our Twins, once written off, once derided for their inability to score, actually blasted two runs per game--you read that right--in this visit with the Los Angeles Angels of Disneyland. Had their pitching staff actually done their job, and shut out the Southern Californians on three straight days, this weekend might have been radically different.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 12, 2007 10:43 PM | Comments (0)

 

That'll Do, Pigs. I guess.

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Whoa. Scott Baker is looking just great, isn't he? Today, in the Twins 1-0 victory o'er Cleveland, the kid from Shreveport went 8 innings, gave up 4 hits and 2 walks, with 4 Ks. That means that in his last two starts he's gone 16 innings, given up 1 earned run, 6 hits and a pair of walks, and struck out eleven. No homers. A couple of wins under his belt. Whether this is good luck stretched over a couple days or not, that's ace material.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at August 5, 2007 3:41 PM | Comments (2)

 

The Shake-Up

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One would be tempted to see today's trade of Luis Castillo to the Mets for a future back-up catcher and no-hit centerfielder as form of concession. One might think that the Twins are cutting bait and acknowledging that the Tigers, Indians, and the rest of the pack in between them and the wild card spot can't be overcome. But tonight, the Twins appeared inspired by the trade, and with Scott Baker on the mound--who, had it not been for the first two batters in the fourth inning, threw a perfect game--we beat the red hot Kansas City Royals 3-1.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 30, 2007 10:04 PM | Comments (1)

 

Sledgehammer

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Well, I think it's safe to say that Carlos Silva won't be winning the Cy Young award this year, either. With a 2-1 score going into the sixth inning, it looked as if the Twins were heading into yet another close loss, and another tough break for Mr. Silva, who would be having a good year were it not for some run support. Then came the sixth. Perhaps the only good thing to say about the circus-sized sledgehammer that fell on the Twins in the Blue Jays eleven-run inning is that it prevented us from yet another one-run loss. And at least after five or six runs crossed the plate, fans here and abroad could turn off their radios and televisions and actually enjoy the afternoon.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 25, 2007 3:46 PM | Comments (0)

 

Clocked

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Jesus, there's not much to say about that game, is there? 7-0, the Jays running rampant over the beleaguered Scott Baker. These things happen. If we were in a tight pennant race (division race... whatever), this day might be chalked up to luck--both the Tigers and Indians lost, and Kansas City has ceased breathing down our necks for fourth place. I mean, really, these are the games that make sportswriters and fans shake their heads. Is Dustin McGowan really that good? Are we that bad? These are the Blue Jays, for Christ's sake, and we're on the verge of being swept.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 24, 2007 11:13 PM | Comments (0)

 

Over and Out... (Part Deux)

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Tonight, the Minnesota Twins fought the Toronto Blue Jays unsuccessfully, losing 6-4. Tonight, Justin Morneau broke out of his Canadian slump, going 2 for 4 with 3 RBI. Tonight, the Minnesota Twins baserunning circus was in full swing, as Jason Tyner and Nick Punto, standing at the corners in the fifth, got swept away in a baffling 3-2-5-6 double play. And tonight, the normally dominant Johan Santana struck out 4, gave up 6 earned runs, and was taken deep 4 times, count e'm, 4 times (twice by Frank Thomas). And in doing so, the ace of the staff, perhaps the best pitcher in baseball, has conceded this year's Cy Young Award.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 23, 2007 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

 

Over and Out...

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So the Minnesota Twins lost their third game in a row to the division leading Detroit Tigers. What now? 9 games out at this point, pretty much the same as last year. Unfortunately, the optimists' club is looking at one year ago, when the Twins were still 9 games behind the Tigers. Of course, they were on a serious roll, winning most of their games as opposed to sweeping one team and being swept by the next. I say 'unfortunately' because looking to the past is the only thing that's keeping this club from moving forward. This season's over.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 19, 2007 4:33 PM | Comments (3)

 

Whiffle Bats

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How does Matt Garza lose with this line?

7 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 1 R, 3 K

I guess by facing Nate Robertson, whose line is as follows:

7IP, 3 Hits, 0 ER, 0 R, 5 K

Our young gun versus a guy whose arm had gone "tired" and was on the DL for 15 days or more. The team with the best road record against a club that has typically won the lion's share of its games in the cozy confines of the Dome. One team trying to get back to the World Series it lost a season ago; the other desperately hoping for a repeat of its valiant come-from-behind title, and then marching into the fall classic instead of falling short.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 18, 2007 10:14 AM | Comments (1)

 

That'll Do, Pig. That'll Do...

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According to a now nearly week-old Strib feature, the Twins need only to come up with some sort of snappy slogan to slap on t-shirts in order to get this club going. I'm in Michigan as I write this, visiting the folks, so maybe the Twins figured one out before taking this four game series from the A's, who are no slouches. If not, I'm happy to suggest my own. We've had piranhas (just awful), and that odd Smell 'Em, which I still don't quite get and certainly don't appreciate, and now I'd like to propose pigs. Not grunty, stinking pigs whose guts and other unmentionables eventually make up the thousands of Dome Dogs we happily consume, but the come-from-behind piglet the world knows as Babe, but Farmer Hoggett knew simply as "Pig".

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at July 16, 2007 6:40 AM | Comments (1)

 

Bully!

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OK, now that was a good game. You had Frank Thomas (The Tank Engine) blasting his 500th home run, and the Twins won anyway. Our boys fell behind quickly in the first and then, nonplussed, shut the lid on the Blue Jays in commanding fashion, playing small-ball and Earl Weaver style basher-ball to come back and win 8-5. And that's just awesome.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 28, 2007 12:02 PM | Comments (30)

 

Battle of the Also-Rans

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The Toronto Blue Jays and The Minnesota Twins, wrestling for possession of fourth place in the Wild Card race (with the mighty Oakland Athletics), were like a pair of samurai this evening, each desperately trying to push the other out of the chalk ring without success. Behold: Scott Baker and Shaun Marcum pitched very good games and watched as their respective clubs could only score a run apiece. Baker's was a particularly impressive performance, going seven full innings, giving up a run and striking out nine. This type of performance should be rewarded with a Win for the young hurler, right? Not in Twins Territory...

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 26, 2007 7:18 PM | Comments (2)

 

Night Of A Thousand Blunders

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The heroes of tonight's game were Vernon Wells of the Blue Jays (a homer, three hits and three RBI) and Mike Redmond (two hits and a pair of RBI) for the local nine in the Twins 8-5 loss. As for the goats, I say, what goats? Tonight, we got slapstick all over the place!

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 25, 2007 8:38 PM | Comments (0)

 

Taking Care of Business

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Here's a question for you: what do Jason Bartlett, Jeff Cirillo, Nick Punto, Lew Ford, Jason Kubel, Luis Rodriguez, and Jason Tyner all have in common?

Answer: They're all hitting worse than Johan Santana!

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 24, 2007 3:31 PM | Comments (0)

 

To Trade or Not to Trade? It's Not Really a Question...

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By now every Twins fan worth his salt (and any that come here for their news) should have read the Blotter post or heard that Torii Hunter spouted off to the New York Daily News about trade rumors. He added that he'd love to be in New York, or Boston, to play in what old friend David Ortiz called the "Super Bowl" of baseball (and that, in my mind, is the epitome of damning with faint praise). Local pundits are all weighing in; I might as well join the fray.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 21, 2007 9:28 PM | Comments (0)

 

Let The Man Hit!

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Oh, so briefly: a preview of Michael Moore's Sicko kept me from tuning into the ballgame tonight. Tho' I have to admit the radio would seem like cold comfort for not giving me the vision of Burt Blyleven getting his mane sheared. You just can't beat that, can you?

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 20, 2007 11:45 PM | Comments (0)

 

Slapstick!

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The great silent film comedian Buster Keaton never broke a smile in his movies. Nor, however, did he bust out weeping at his fate, which was usually cruel, but always comic. In his films, Keaton lost his true loves, couldn't find work, fell from skyscrapers eluding police, watched his house torn apart by a train, tried his damnedest to kill himself (to no avail), sailed a leaky homemade ship into the maw of a storm, and slid head over heels into home plate only to land two feet shy of scoring. Buster took his myriad hits square on the noggin, ass flying out from under him, feet in the air, and then stood up, brushed himself off, and went right on trying. It was no wonder baseball was his favorite game.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 18, 2007 8:50 PM | Comments (0)

 

The Bad News About the Best Pitcher in Baseball

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So I'm going to rain on the parade again...

I don't have to tell you to check out G.R. Anderson's Jr., esq., superior article on Johan Santana. If you venture this way for some opinion about the noble sport, well, then you no doubt check out the longer, well-written and researched stories in this paper, too. At least I hope you do.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 15, 2007 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

 

Tough Cookies

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I just don't fucking get it. It's one thing for the Twins to lose to the Angels and the A's in California; it's another thing altogether for them to lose to the Washington Nationals, the worst team in the National League (and probably both leagues, if we're honest) at home. At home!

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 10, 2007 3:12 PM | Comments (1)

 

There You Go, Kid

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Well, if that don't beat all. Kevin Slowey went five innings and gave up four earned runs, but gol-dinged bust-it if he didn't get the 'W'. Little Nicky Punto and Jason Bartlett each hit a home run--their first of the season! Joe Nathan got lucky save number 13, and Pat Neshek, well, jeez, the guy is awesome.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 6, 2007 10:26 PM | Comments (0)

 

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (Theme to "Those Darn Twins!")

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The good news about this weekend's series with the Oakland A's is that our pitching staff, ranked fourth in the league, gave up only seven runs in three games.

The bad news is that we faced the best staff in the league, and scored only five runs, losing two of three.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at June 3, 2007 6:33 PM | Comments (0)

 

Is There A Magic Bullet?

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I probably don't have to tell you that the Twins are looking good. After today's weird come-from-behind 7-6 victory over the woeful White Sox (Torii Hunter took four straight balls to walk in the winning run in the ninth, for Christ's sake--one of eight free passes the Sox gave up), we've won four straight series in a row, and handed the Sox their first sweep of the season (which is itself difficult to fathom). The cynic in me says, well, we ran a gauntlet of mediocre teams and one division-leader facing growing pains; the optimist sez that we beat four clubs who are still pretty damn strong (the Blue Jays and White Sox aren't necessarily slouches). So, despite injuries, are we starting to fire on all cylinders?

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 30, 2007 2:48 PM | Comments (0)

 

Bring on the Noise

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Once upon a time, in the era of old steel-and-concrete stadiums, there was a triumphant heckler who used to prowl the stands in Philadelphia's Shibe Park. His name was Pete Adelis, the "Iron Lung of Shibe Park", and he would yell, howl, cajole, bang on pans and a helmet he wore, administering fierce tongue-lashings to whomever his beloved Phillies happened to meet.

During yesterday's Memorial Day matinee at the Metrodome, the spirit of Adelis must have inhabited some fellow in the good seats, a bellowing man who may or may not have been the tipping point in the Twins 10-4 victory.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 28, 2007 1:51 PM | Comments (0)

 

Random Digressions from the Road Trip

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Here's something to think about: the Twins, as anyone who heard yesterday's radio broadcast knows, went 4-6 over their last two series, which gave them a 4-9 record over their romp through the heart of America, with stops in Cleveland, Milwaukee, and finally, "Fun Central", Arlington, Texas. (For whatever reason, I can't stop thinking about its proximity to Dallas, which recalls Errol Morris' The Thin Blue Line... and that gives me a minor freak out. Especially when I add the memory of who used to own the Rangers.) Now, it was great to see the Twins take two of three from Milwaukee and the same from the woeful Rangers. And they looked pretty damned good in the process.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 24, 2007 8:05 AM | Comments (2)

 

And she...is...outta here!

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BatGirl--she of the Lego game recaps, Boyfriend of the Day, hilarious Photoshop jobs, and the best sports nicknames around ("Chairman" Mauer, "Sweetcheeks" Hunter, etc.)--announced yesterday that her popular Twins blog is going dark. She blamed the constraints of new motherhood for her lack of blogger energy. Too bad--it was a magical run while it lasted. From her final entry:

Thank you for reading and for sharing this with me. Remember, that it's only a game but it's the best game on earth and it's our privilege to watch it, that everything looks better in Legos, and that the word "ass" is inherently funny. And do Batgirl a favor--when your favorite player strikes out with the bases loaded or muffs a bunt or walks a guy in and the crowd around you boos, I want you to stand up and shout at the top of your lungs, heart bursting with unconditional love, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.

Posted by Chuck Terhark at May 24, 2007 12:29 AM | Comments (1)

 

The Money Disease?

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Well, this season has got me beat...

In all likelihood, it will take until mid-August for that creeping cynicism to finally take hold in the Pollyannas, and they realize that the season is shot. It's certainly taken hold of me. Do I think it's possible for the Twins to rebound? I do. Stranger things have happened. Do I, the neg-head, want a comeback? You bet--if anything, it would give me a lot to write about. Baseball is not a Hindenburg sport, like auto-racing. Disasters get old in baseball--such as having a team with a division title, MVP, batting champ and Cy Young winner one year having none of these the following season (a good possibility). Our sport's failures take forever, festering over the course of 162 games. Rare is the team that's kicked out on the final day; it's extremely rare in this day of wild-cards. Oh, we can crow all we want about overtaking the Tigers on the last contest of the 2006 season. But we all know things came to a grinding halt three contests later, while the Tigers got to see the World Series.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 22, 2007 1:06 PM | Comments (2)

 

We can all learn something from Sidney Ponson

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As someone who feels pangs of inadequacy whenever I burn the toast, I couldn't imagine how Sidney Ponson must have felt when the Twins fired him this weekend. Here's a guy who came to Minnesota to cries of "He sucks! He's fat! He's a loose cannon! He's weird! And look at that hair!" And what does he do? Pretty much proves everyone right. How can you not put the guy on suicide watch?

Then, immediately after being told to clean out his locker, he says this to the Strib:

"I had a feeling yesterday that it might happen. And it happened and I have to live with it and go through it. I'm going to go home and ship everything to Florida. Go sit on the beach and enjoy it."

Dude gets his pink slip, and he's already in Margaritaville! If only we could all be so even-keeled. Cheers, Sid.

Posted by Chuck Terhark at May 15, 2007 4:31 PM | Comments (5)

 

Mother's Day Massacree

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Could pink pull the Twins from their troubles? On this Mother's Day, the Twins donned pink sweatbands and festooned their jerseys with pink ribbon pins. Six players actually swung bright pink bats. All of this festivity was to show the team's support for breast cancer research, a worthy cause. But considering the Twins had their best offensive game of the year, in a 16-4 clubbing of the Detroit Tigers, well, you have to ask: why not wear pink all year, if the results are this good?

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 13, 2007 6:47 PM | Comments (1)

 

Piranha Finger Puppet Night!

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It was Piranha Finger Puppet Night here in the Dome, and thousands of merry children were given little green toys to play with and ignore the game on the field. And where at first it seemed as if the collective magic of a bunch of urchins biting at the opposition wouldn't have an effect on the diamond, eventually their hoodoo worked. For the piranhas did their part, helping to tie the game while the big bats won it for the Twins, 7-4, on Justin Morneau's walk-off three-run homer in the tenth.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 8, 2007 6:51 PM | Comments (0)

 

Pirahnas? No, Mice Won This Game

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Once again, the Minnesota Twins are working wonders on the fragile psyche of opposing pitchers. Bosox hurler Julian Talvarez had not thrown more than five complete this season, had an ERA of 7.58, had walked 8 and fanned no more than 11 this whole year, and then proceeds to stare down our guys like this:

Six innings. Two runs off four hits, only one run earned. Seven fucking strikeouts.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 5, 2007 5:49 PM | Comments (0)

 

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Pitch

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In Baseball Bugs, master hurler Bugs Bunny tosses a certain slow pitch that befuddles a whole line-up of monster mashers with one throw. They hack and lunge and cut and swipe, as the pitch just sputters along. In fact, Bugs strikes out the whole side with one pitch.

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Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 4, 2007 6:33 PM | Comments (0)

 

Sloppy Second Leads to Utter Desolation

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Gladden: "Can you imagine what it would be to be a beat writer on this ballclub?"

Gordon: "You'd have to come up with some imaginative thoughts on the game of baseball."

That was part of a dialogue between our broadcasters, spoken in the Twins' half of the eighth inning of last night's lopsided 9-1 victory over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who appeared to be a baseball team in name only. It was a hard game to call, hard to listen to, probably fun only for the Twins to play, thanks to countless at-bats. And when the game was still young, on the second pitch of the second inning, when Sidney Ponson watched one of his fastballs fly over the center field fence, I bet he thought, "At least I wasn't the other guy."

Continue reading "Sloppy Second Leads to Utter Desolation"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at May 1, 2007 6:13 PM | Comments (3)

 

Yowch

Filed under: Twins

Or as most of my female friends would cry, "Anything but the face!"

The event of Torii Hunter's second cranial beaning of 2007 seems an appropriate time to reflect on the ridiculous season he's had so far.

Before taking a fastball off the teeth from anxious Royals pitcher Zach Greinke, Hunter was on a 12-game hitting streak, had a .315 average, hit four homers and stole just as many bases, knocked in a MLB-high 13 doubles, and had a .658 slugging percentage, the seventh highest in baseball.

All of which means he was the best centerfielder in baseball this month, so it's no surprise he's been taking some high heat. Here's hoping our favorite contract-year Twin won't be too uncomfortable in the batter's box when he returns this weekend.

Posted by Chuck Terhark at April 27, 2007 11:09 AM | Comments (0)

 

Cold Comfort

Filed under: Twins

I love this summary, from La Velle E. Neal's column at the Star Tribune online (could be in the hard copy; I'll never know):

"After watching Torii Hunter get hit in the face, the Twins snapped their four-game losing streak in the 11th inning."

That's rich. Torii gets hit in the second inning and it only takes us nine more fucking innings to score a measly run against what remains the worst team in the American League? Boy, that must have riled up the troops! (One thing: the above quote wasn't in the article, but was the summary on the 'front page' of the Strib.)

Continue reading "Cold Comfort"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 27, 2007 7:55 AM | Comments (0)

 

Melancholy Musings on Another Awful Evening

Filed under: Twins

This afternoon I took a stroll through The 2006 Baseball Prospectus. Those guys pretty much dismissed last year's Detroit Tigers, stating flatly that, in order to compete, the "pitchers need to become stars." We now know that they did just that. Last season, our very own Morneau and Mauer hit that big-time, too, joining Johan Santana in the spotlight. I get the feeling we're going to need more than a three-star constellation to make a go of it this year.

Continue reading "Melancholy Musings on Another Awful Evening"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 25, 2007 6:41 PM | Comments (2)

 

The Ace Makers

Filed under: Twins

For the third game in a row, the Twins proceeded to take another very human pitcher and make him appear like future Cy Young winner. I don't know if this is a part of some kind of program to restore the self-esteem of opposing pitchers, but it seems to work wonders on these guys. Tonight the papier mache hero was one Fausto Carmona. Considering his first name, one might assume that he sold his soul for tonight's 5-3 victory, were this not becoming a regular occurrence.

Continue reading "The Ace Makers"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 24, 2007 7:00 PM | Comments (0)

 

Here Comes the Night

Filed under: Twins

God, is there anything more depressing in professional sports than that one lone guy booing in the twelfth inning of a losing game? That one soul who's still trying to rouse the six people left in his section, maybe trying to rally himself for the long drive home, maybe a dedicated follower of primal scream therapy. By the time Joe Nathan walked Cleveland's Jhonny Peralta to load the bases in the twelfth, probably five thousand long-suffering (and now utterly sober) fans were left scratching the scruff on their chins and wondering why they were still glued to their seats. Yeah, the home team gets its at-bat, sure. But then Shin-Soo Choo, who'd gone 0-4 over the last four hours, squeaked a hit past Nathan's outstretched glove and drove in two more. What had been a barely reachable 5-3 contest became a 7-3 blowout. If a miracle was going to occur, it certainly wouldn't have many witnesses.

Continue reading "Here Comes the Night"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 23, 2007 6:41 PM | Comments (1)

 

The Monterrey Kid Spoils the Day

Filed under: Twins

Against a backdrop of empty seats, seemingly undistracted by the ignominy of hot dog wrappers tumbling at his feet, the Royals' Jorge De La Rosa shut down the Twins through eight strong innings, giving up but one run against five hits. This young wayfarer is no stranger to baseball, having come up from Monterrey (home of the Mexican Baseball Hall of Fame) and spending time in the Diamondbacks and Red Sox organizations before trudging through three seasons with two woebegone Midwestern clubs, the Milwaukee Brewers and now the Royals (he came to Kansas City last season). Already this year he's shut down the Tigers once, and might be sitting on a gaudy 4-0 record if the offensive half of his team would get the job done once in awhile (he gave up four runs in a loss and a no-decision to the Blue Jays and Tigers, respectively). Today, the Royals hitters were just good enough, in the Twins 3-1 loss.

Continue reading "The Monterrey Kid Spoils the Day"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 22, 2007 3:48 PM | Comments (0)

 

Squeak! Squeak!

Filed under: Twins

According to a variety of sources (I did not travel to Seattle to watch these games, nor watch them on the cable I don't get), the Twins took the third game in a three game set against the Mariners by playing small-ball. Amazingly (to this writer), the Twins haven't swept Seattle since 1996. That's over eleven seasons, for God's sake. Compare that '96 Mariners squad to that year's Twins, and consider some of the lousy teams the M's have fielded in just the last three years, and, wow, that's one bizarre statistic. Then again, with the imbalanced schedule, we don't get an opportunity to play teams outside the division, so maybe that skewers the whole thing.

Continue reading "Squeak! Squeak!"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 20, 2007 7:15 AM | Comments (1)

 

There's Joy in The Mudville That is Tampa Bay...

Filed under: Twins

I am at an utter loss as to who would consider themselves a fan of the Tampa Bay Steve Irwin Killers. Granted, I'm not from Florida, but the people I know who make the Sunshine State their home usually follow other teams. Often, people will root for, say, the New York Yankees, catching a few spring training games here and there or heading to the other dome to watch the Rays get smacked. This hapless franchise, "celebrating" their tenth anniversary (and what memories those must be), must have some kid, somewhere in the bay area, cheering for 'em.

Continue reading "There's Joy in The Mudville That is Tampa Bay..."

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 15, 2007 1:46 PM | Comments (1)

 

The Philosopher Takes the Mound

Filed under: Twins

Ramon Ortiz' middle name is Diogenes, and whether or not that was given to him by a great uncle with a love for ancient Greek philosophers, I don't know. But the Diogenes of the ages was famously a cynic, which is apropos for the beleaguered pitcher of record. For tonight this journeyman wasn't wicked with his fastball or suffering the Yankees with a sharp slider, but he was effective enough. Our man whiffed four, his 92 mph fastball hitting the corners the Yankees bats couldn't reach, or making them hit weak flies and grounders. Problem was, after seven and a half innings Ortiz had given up but three hits, and still the game was knotted at a single run.

Continue reading "The Philosopher Takes the Mound"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 11, 2007 7:01 PM | Comments (3)

 

Yankhilles Heel?

Filed under: Twins

"Show me the child until he is seven and I will show you the man." --old Jesuit saying.

Only seven games, you tell yourself. Only seven games, and they're 4-3, still a winning record, bunched together in the middle of the Central Division, which means nothing so damned early. After all, it's April, and the season's long. You watch as the Yankees, the New York Yankees, who we fought to a draw last year (thus breaking what seemed like a curse) and this year we're already down by two in a year-long six game set. Not only that, we get blasted, 10-1 tonight, a football score of 18-3 over the pair of contests. You look at your scorecard and stare in utter disbelief. We still can't beat the Yankees? Worse, are we seeing portents of trouble? However you want to spin this thing, it still looks bad.

Continue reading "Yankhilles Heel?"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 10, 2007 6:12 PM | Comments (0)

 

Only The Good News From This Scribbler

Filed under: Twins

Check this out:

Three Twins relievers faced eleven batters, gave up but one hit and a walk and no Yankees crossed the plate.

Luis Castillo opened the game with his sixth infield hit, which leads the majors.

In the sixth inning, Michael Cuddyer fielded Derek Jeter's hard-hit single and threw a bullet to nail Johnny Damon at third base. A work of beauty: the throw was on a line right to Nick Punto, who spun and whacked the runner just in time. Damon's slide sent Punto tumbling head over heels, only to hold his glove up to show that, indeed, he'd held on. This led to some awesome histrionics on the part of the ump, who pointed an accusing finger at the fallen third baseman and jabbed at the air like he was piercing the hide of an elephant. More umps ought to go crazy like that now and again.

Continue reading "Only The Good News From This Scribbler"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 9, 2007 6:16 PM | Comments (0)

 

Trainspotter's Opening Day

Filed under: Twins

When you think about it, the second game of the lengthy baseball season is the real opening day, the first game when the dedicated fan comes out to watch. Nothing against yesterday's contest, mind you. But after all, tonight the Twins are facing the same team they fought on the big day (and not one projected to go far), the top pitcher isn't on the mound, and look, it's Tuesday night while school's on or the kids and their folks are drunk in Cazumel on spring break. These fans have patience, they have their scorecards, and a love of numbers, and they dress funny--it's funny to wear shorts and a Twins jersey on a night promising snow and cold winds. No, these bugs resemble Britain's trainspotters, people who will follow this season from start to finish with the same single-minded dedication as those Brits who stand and wait all day for locomotives to pass by.

Continue reading "Trainspotter's Opening Day"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 3, 2007 8:16 PM | Comments (1)

 

The Hold Steady record "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"

Filed under: Twins

MTV.com posted video yesterday of Craig Finn, the Hold Steady's "singer," recording a Twins-centric version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

According to the corresponding article, Finn was asked to do the song by Kevin Dutcher, the Twins musical director. (We didn't know they had one, either). Dutcher plans to play the track between innings at home games, a move that will almost certainly make the Metrodome the hippest dome in sports.

Not everyone is pleased with the development, though. As one City Pages staffer complained, "Finn manages to destroy even the most basic and recognizable of melodies! His talent is truly limitless." The Twin Cities ex-pat also opts for the questionable lyric "Root, root, root for the Minnesota Twins," when everyone knows it should be "Root, root, root for the Twinkies."

In other news, Craig Finn has a beard.

Posted by Chuck Terhark at April 3, 2007 3:47 PM | Comments (2)

 

A Little Power, A Little Pitching, A Little Piranha

Filed under: Twins

The Minnesota Twins treated a packed house to a rollicking opening day victory that saw each one of the pillars of last year's success (our newfound power, our piranhas, our pitching) contributing toward a 7-4 victory. Those first two innings were particularly exciting: Johan Santana striking out a pair in as many innings, and, in the second, picking off Miguel Tejada so cleanly the runner didn't bother to grouse. Joe Mauer cracked a hit in the bottom of the first (suddenly batting 1.000!), and while Michael Cuddyer stranded the reigning AL batting champ, the right fielder did so with a pesky at-bat, fouling off pitch after pitch before standing there and watching a nice fat one go by. And that's fine, for after all, it's still the first inning of the very first game. But next inning, sweet Jesus in Dollywood, Justin Morneau and Torii Hunter hammered back-to-back pitches into left and right fields, respectively (two more batting 1.000!) All was well in Twins Territory, yes?

Continue reading "A Little Power, A Little Pitching, A Little Piranha"

Posted by Peter Schilling Jr. at April 2, 2007 10:09 PM | Comments (4)

 

The Silence Will Be Deafening

Filed under: Twins

Longtime Twins broadcaster Herb Carneal passed away this morning at age 83, on the eve of what would have been his 45th Opening Day in the booth. I'm not from Minnesota originally, having moved here some thirteen years ago, but I know how hard it's going to be hard for Twins fans who follow their team through the tinny sounds on the box, and specifically the rich voice of Her